Chapter Eight – Father and Son Talk

As I followed my father down the hall towards his office, my eyes fell on all the family photo's hanging on the hallway wall. So many of them. Pictures of them as a family, of him and his siblings, of his mother and father. Happy memories. Colours. Black and whites. In every one of them, his family was happy and his mother was smiling in each and every single one of them. Why couldn't Bella be happy like his mother seemed to be?

Edward remembered how him and his sibling's had looked up to Carlisle, they still did. They admired him for what he did. But they respected Esme just as much. She may not have placed her life on the line like Carlisle or faced direct combat, but she had been everything to them growing up. An unmovable force of support.

Bella didn't want Edward glorifying the army in front of the kids, especially the boys. It would kill Bella if any of the kids turned around and became a soldier. I on the other hand he would be proud if any of them decided they wanted to follow the family tradition. But after her father and now himself, was he sentencing Bella to a whole life of fear and worry? Always worried that she was going to lose someone she loved?

Edward stepped into his father's office with a heavy heart. His instincts screamed at him to fight for her, but his heart hurt at her admission from three days ago. He would be the first to admit that he wasn't being the husband that he had thought he would be for her, eight years ago. Back then his world revolved around her. But he had been a teenager then. He could afford for his life to centre on her. Now they were twenty six years old and had four children together. Life didn't work that way anymore. They were adults and they had to act like adults.

He watched his father move around the desk and take a seat in an old leather chair. Edward swore that chair was older than him. His father couldn't part with the old thing. Edward sat down across from him and let out a frustrated breath. Running hi hands through his hair, he looked up at his father with pleading eyes.

"I don't know what to do anymore Dad, I'm afraid I'm going to lose her" he said, his eyes stinging with unshed tears.

"Bella said she was going to leave you?" Carlisle asked, shocked that Bella was capable of leaving his son. She had always seemed the most understanding out of the women in his family.

" She didn't say she was going to leave me exactly, but she said she wasn't happy anymore. But I can't help but feel that she will leave if things don't change" Edward answered his father, leaning back and resting his head against the leather chair head.

" what does she want to change?" Carlisle asked, watching the sadness spread across his son face. Edward loved Bella, and as a father who knew his son well, Edward would not survive it. Bella was Edward's solid gound.

"She's always saying that she wants me home more, to spend more time with her and the kids. My commander offered me this three year assignment as a recruiter on the base. It would mean I'd be around more" Edward sighed. He'd been offered this assignment many times before and Bella had asked him to accept it each time. But every time he turned it down in favour of deploying overseas.

"And you don't want to take this assignment" Carlisle made it sound like a statement and not a question. Edward didn't even have to answer, he saw it written across his son's face.

"It's just, I've worked so hard to get to where I'm at, it feels like I'm taking a huge step backwards and Bella acts like it's because I don't want to be home with her and the kids".

"Is it?" Carlisle asked, wanting the truth from his son.

"I love Bella and the kids more than anything in the world, but sometimes I feel out of place when I'm at home. Bella and the kids get along so well without me, that sometimes I feel like I'm not needed around. I know what I'm doing when I'm out on a mission, but I feel like I'm fighting to keep my head above water when I'm at home" Edward explained the best way he could to his father.

Edward let out a huge breath and closed his eyes. Holding back the tears he felt coming.

"It's funny how I feel safer in a war zone, than in my own home"

Carlisle sat across the desk watching his sons dejected face. Esme and him had never had the problems that Edward and Bella were facing. Esme was always happy being home. Being an army wife. But not every person was the same and Edward needed to understand that what had been right for his mother may not be what is right for Bella.

Bella needed more. Esme and him had been older when they met and older when they married. Esme had experienced some of the world before she settled down with him. Bella and Edward had married right out of high school and Bella fell pregnant not long after that. She hadn't had the chance to experience anything before she took on the responsibilities of an army wife. Could anyone really blame her for desiring that for herself? Could Edward?

"Edward the life of a soldier is not easy. But the life of an army partner is just as hard, maybe even harder. We have our training for battle, but there is no training for life. Bella has been a full time parent for eight years now. Most of that time she has essentially been a single parent. Four kids, a house and working full time will take it's toll on you. Have you considered that Bella may be burnt out? That maybe all she's asking for is a little bit more help?"

"Dad I know the demands that I put on her, but she knew what life would be like by marrying me. I thought she was prepared for it" Edward argued, getting slightly defensive.

"Yes, but Edward you need to remember that your just as much a husband and a father as you are a soldier. You say you know the demands that you place on Bella and as far as I have seen, she meets all of them. But a marriage is a partnership and you need to be putting into that marriage just as much as Bella is. And your children are just as much your responsibility as they are Bella's" Carlisle said diplomatically. He didn't want to appear to be siding against his son.

"Find a balance, son", Carlisle advised.

"That's easier said than done, Dad. I don't even know where to start and fix this" Edward said, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration.

"Maybe taking that assignment is not a bad idea, Edward. Remember that Bella is not asking you to quit the army and she hasn't said you can't return to duty at some point. She's just asking you for three years. Is your marriage worth three years?"

Edward stood up. Could he take the assignment? Was he able to be a recruiter? Could he do this for Bella and their marriage? His heart screamed yes, but the soldier in him didn't know if he could take being away from action that long. But Carlisle's last statement hit him where it hurt. Was his marriage worth it?

Yes. Yes his marriage was worth it. His heart felt a little lighter now that he had admitted that to himself.

After saying goodbye to his parents and thanking them for their heartfelt advice. Edward drove home feeling free and happy. He would make their marriage work. He just had to convince Bella of that now.

Hello again my people.

Here's the next chapter for ya!

I hope you guys like the father son bonding. Carlisle is a very smart man and lets hope Edward really takes his advice. :-)

Keep those reviews coming I love everyone one of them.

Next Chapter – BPOV ( Into The Sand Storm )

Till Next time

Nicky88