Author's note: Whoops, forgot something important. Putting this up a second time!
"They're just cows, horse. Nothing to be afraid of." Axel's voice held laughter and Roxas wanted to gut him.
Shut up! I'm an assassin! I've seen more blood and gore than you could imagine! Roxas stepped in a puddle that was not water and flinched as the filth splattered his leg. Although I admit you have me beat on shit! Roxas chewed his bit as he tried to figure out a way to navigate the yard without getting splattered with cow dung. There had been a brief shower earlier and combined with the heat, the cow patties had turned into a disgusting soup just waiting for him to splash into. The only answer seemed to be not to go in at all and he took a step backwards.
"Come on Blondie. Really, they're just cows." Axel was starting to sound a little irritated and Roxas felt him shift slightly, felt the spurs touch him. Axel's spurs were blunt and never hurt but they were always a clear message.
I'm not afraid of cows, I'm afraid of swimming in shit! Oh gods. Roxas took a deep breath and tried to hold it as he went into the arena. His knowledge of cows was as steaks, and he wished he could have kept it that way as Axel began trying to teach him about handling cattle.
"What in hell is wrong with you?" Roxas turned his head to look at Axel. The redhead was glaring at him. "You keep prancing. Gemma!" Axel shouted to the short, petite girl who was smoking a pipe. "Could you come over here a minute?"
"Sure." She called back agreeably and was soon standing by the fence. "What you need?"
"Watch this and see what his problem is." Axel instructed her and Roxas laid his ears back in irritation. But then they were moving again and Roxas kept a close watch on the ground to avoid the worst part of the mess. Gemma's laugh caused Axel to rein him in and look at her questioningly.
"The prissy bastard is trying not to get dirty!" Roxas flicked his tail at her and Axel groaned, then laughed. The redhead slid off his back and Roxas winced to himself at the way his boots squelched in the mud.
"Horse, you need to stop this." Axel said firmly as he gripped the bridle. Roxas gazed at him soulfully, trying to convey how much he didn't want to do this. "I'll give you a bath when we're done, alright?"
You promise? Roxas sighed and blew into Axel's hair. Oh fine. He lowered his head submissively and Axel remounted him. Roxas wistfully thought about how he wished the redhead could be riding him a different way as he went back towards the cows.
He'd been training with the redhead for only two weeks. That was a ridiculously short time to train a green horse, but Axel and Terra had both decided he wasn't green when Roxas had sailed through the start of his training. They didn't know that he was listening and Axel had a habit of talking to himself as they rode. A comment about how he needed to go left or right, get on this lead or that, made things a hundred times easier for him. And it helped that he'd experienced the cues before, just from the other direction. Wearing a saddle was a bit of a trial but not as bad as he'd feared. Now that the stud chain was gone and he was in a simple bridle, Roxas was finding the whole experience almost pleasant.
Axel was the only one who rode him and Roxas had gradually figured out why. No one spoke to him of course, but they spoke around him and he often overheard interesting things. His pasture was a special one, with the stallions and geldings who were being trained at the moment, so it was fairly close to the house and barn. He'd heard that Axel, despite being tall, was very light and enjoyed riding smaller horses. There were several other people who rode the smaller horses and ponies, but they were mostly women and teenagers. Not the sort of riders Terra wanted to put on a pedigree unknown, history unknown stallion. Roxas wondered if that would change soon. He was doing a pretty good job at moving the cows-
Just as he thought that, a large puppy burst into the pasture and took him completely by surprise. The horse mind reacted in alarm and his body tried to levitate. Axel was caught by surprise too and Roxas yelped to himself as he felt the redhead's weight shift alarmingly. The puppy tried to bite his heels and Roxas had to fight not to kick it then stomp it to death. What was it even doing here?
"Gemma! Get that damn dog out of here!" Axel called breathlessly and Roxas felt terrible as he realized the saddle pommel had caught him in the stomach. The redhead was going to be badly bruised, although he'd managed to keep his seat. "Stop moving horse, please." Axel had no expectation of being obeyed but Roxas tried to get a grip on his horsey instincts and locked his legs. "Good boy. Now get out of here dog!" The puppy was less understanding and Roxas laid back his ears as the thing barked. He was going to kick it. He was really going to kick it if Gemma didn't get it VERY soon…
"I have him!" Gemma had gotten hold of the puppy and was dragging it out of the arena. "Stupid dog, you could have been killed." Roxas gratefully relaxed. The cows, he noticed, were staring at them with mild bovine interest.
I really want a steak. Roxas sighed as Axel dismounted again, leading him away on foot. He noticed the redhead was standing a bit hunched over. He probably wouldn't be getting any other riders after all.
"Come on blondie, I'll give you that bath." Roxas blew in his hair fondly as the redhead led him to the water pipe. "That damn dog. If Marilee can't train him better he'll have to be put down." Roxas winced a bit to himself at that. The puppy was huge, already coming into his full growth, but was particularly dense. So far they hadn't been able to pound through his head that he couldn't bother the horses. If they couldn't get him to understand that he'd be a menace to any rider and that couldn't be tolerated. Axel began sponging him off with a harsh herbal soap. Roxas sighed and half-closed his eyes as the redhead started with his legs. The water was warm, but it still felt wonderful on a hot day. "You're a good horse." Roxas flicked his ears as Axel spoke to him or, more realistically, spoke to himself. "A bit hot and reactive, and sensitive about your face, but still a very good horse." Roxas felt almost embarrassed at that. He did hate it when anyone tugged on his face, which made the stud chain irritating, but he was aware he'd been guilty of it as a rider. He was going to have to work on that when the spell faded. "For an experienced rider. I'm going to ask Terra if you can be my horse." Roxas pricked his ears at that.
And will I be yours after six months? Roxas felt almost wistful as he looked at that bent head, the red spikes catching the sun. The color was so dazzling. Do you even like men? He didn't know and there was no way to ask. Although there was a blond boy Axel seemed to hang out with a lot, a young man named Demyx. He was constantly playing an instrument or singing. Were they together? He wasn't sure if he hoped they were or not. If they were, he'd at least know Axel's preferences. Bah. Why was he even considering this? He was an assassin. The Free Lands were a peaceful place, not a place for him.
"Hey Axel. How's your prissy horse doing?" Terra. Roxas lifted his head to look at the man. He was wearing a grubby set of leathers and had clearly been doing some hard riding. Axel looked up with a laugh, his green eyes sparkling.
"You heard about that already? He's doing much better. At least he's not afraid of the cows." Axel began rinsing off the soap as Roxas closed his eyes in pleasure. "How are the cattle doing?"
"Not too bad. We caught one of the rustlers." That grim reply made Roxas pay more attention. Horse thievery was cause for hanging and theft of cows was nearly as bad. "Unfortunately, he's dead. I tried to shoot him in the leg but…" Terra shrugged. "I'm better at killing people than winging them." Roxas turned his head to look at the man in surprise. He'd assumed Terra had probably been born here and inherited the ranch from his parents. That comment hinted at a much darker history. "So we don't know who's doing it."
"Three guesses and the first two don't count." Axel muttered, looking away. Terra raised his eyebrows with a twisted smile.
"Well, we can't prove it." He corrected himself. "You planning to ride this one to the horse fair?" Terra asked, changing the subject. Roxas wished they had gone on further. Who was stealing from them? Another ranch, probably, and they needed proof to make any accusations. But he wasn't sure. And what did it mean for the ranch?
"I think so. He's coming along nicely. Demyx keeps bothering me to ride him." Axel sounded annoyed and Terra laughed.
"Lover boy wants to prove that he can do anything you can." Terra was amused and Axel shook his head as he began to dry Roxas off a bit. Roxas felt deflated. So Axel did like men, but he already had a close companion. That was going to make things difficult.
"I can't see why. It's not like I can play worth a crap." Axel said acidly. That tone gave Roxas hope. Apparently, there was some trouble in paradise. Terra just shrugged and Axel abruptly changed the subject. "Terra, can he be my horse?"
"Huh?" Terra was caught off guard and frowned at Roxas. Roxas blinked at him, trying to look as mild and inoffensive as possible. "You're sure you want him? I really think he is smarter than you."
"Oh thanks!" Axel grinned and petted Roxas' nose as the blonde snickered to himself. Terra was pretty perceptive. "I just want to make sure he stays here if he doesn't work out as a stallion. My old mare needs to be retired soon anyway, and your wife could use a good schooling horse for Midea." That made Terra pause. Midea was his only daughter, a little girl barely six years old. Her brother was just an infant. "I'm not sure anyone else could get on with this boy the way I can."
"You've got a point." Terra allowed as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Alright, he can be yours. What are you going to name him?" That made Axel pause and think. Roxas wondered what the redhead would name him. He hoped it would be something good. He'd never live Daisy down, although after he changed back Roxas figured he'd be Horse Boy around here or something equally stupid.
"I'll have to think about it." Axel finally said, finishing with his rub down. Roxas smiled to himself as he felt the wind fluffing his fur, finishing the drying. "It's too important to decide all at once. I'll let you know when I've figured it out." Terra nodded and started back to the house as Axel led Roxas back to his pasture. When he was released back into the grassy fields, Roxas ran away playfully, kicking his heels.
Overall, this had been a good day.
"Desperado… when will you come to your senses…" Axel sang to himself and Roxas flicked his ears at the sound. Axel really did talk constantly. Would that get annoying when he was a human again? No, he didn't think so. It was just something the redhead did.
At the moment, they were helping out with a cattle drive. This ranch bred both horses and cattle, and the cattle needed to be moved around to ensure they would fatten up properly. Roxas gazed over the prairie grass and wondered how it was possible to raise anything on this dry land. But then, they did have a lot of land.
"Look, a band of horses." Axel murmured and Roxas turned his head to look. "Don't mind the mares now."
Oh shut up. Roxas grumbled to himself. He wasn't entirely sure how the horse part of this place worked, but he thought maybe he had it. Mares about to foal were kept close, either in the barn or the mare paddock near the house. Once they were sure everything was alright, mother and foal were released to rejoin the horses on the range. It was more work, but the men and women on the ranch were constantly working with the range horses and foals… just little things, like picking up feet and making sure they had human contact. It saved troubles later, because when the foals were about three they were pulled in for real training. And of course, all the colts were gelded well before that or sold as studs to other ranches. Breeding on the ranch was always supervised.
Roxas thought about that with a feeling of disgust and almost amazement. He'd had his encounters with three mares, very beautiful little pony mares. His horse body had known what to do, which had been repulsive but a relief. But was it supposed to be so… quick? He'd have had complaints if he'd been one of those mares. Axel and Terra had seemed to take it for granted so it was probably normal. A dog howled and Axel lifted a crossbow, searching for a target. But if there was a wolf or another predator it had the sense to back off.
"You see why this place is called Busy Solitude." Axel commented and Roxas flicked his ears. He didn't see but was interested in hearing. "There's so much work to be done, but it's lonely work. Well, except when –"
"Axel!" Demyx rode up and Roxas laid his ears flat, eyeing the other man's knee. He was riding a taller mare and that knee was in perfect biting range. "Have you heard what's going on at Broken Hollow? Have you?"
"No, tell me." Axel said invitingly and the sandy haired young man launched into a long and complicated story. Roxas let it wash over him. Axel talked a lot when they were alone but when Demyx came, he seemed almost quiet. The spate of chatter reminded him of a yapping toy dog, being occasionally interrupted by the deeper barks of a wolf-dog. Although Axel's voice was too smooth and warm to be a bark… "You should get back. Terra's giving you the stink eye." Roxas watched sourly as their fingers twined for a moment before Demyx rode away, his sitar bouncing on his back. The blonde thought the instrument was rather ridiculous. What was wrong with a guitar?
"I love him." Axel said suddenly and Roxas almost stumbled. "I love him, but…" But what? Roxas wondered. Frustratingly, Axel didn't go on. I want you. Maybe it was the constant contact, maybe it was just Axel's kindness, but Roxas was feeling a desire bordering on obsession. He'd never felt so intensely about another person before. But what do I want you for? That thought brought him to a quandary, as it had several times before. He wanted Axel for sex, obviously. But besides that? This peaceful farm didn't need an assassin. Would Axel want to come with him? But his life was horses. He sparred with Terra sometimes but to Roxas' practiced eye the redhead was an indifferent swordsman. His aim with a crossbow was superb but Roxas didn't think he'd make it long as a mercenary. The blonde didn't have much in the way of morals but he'd read once that if you planned to steal someone's girlfriend, you'd best mean to keep her for a while at least. Stealing a girl to dump her wasn't as bad as rape, but it was close. Roxas thought that advice applied to boyfriends too. So maybe it was better not to even try…
Stop it. You have at least a month to go before this stupid spell wears off. Anything could happen. Roxas reminded himself firmly before turning his attention back to his work.
There was always more work to be done on the Busy Solitude ranch.
Roxas watched the lights at the ranch house wistfully. There was a party going on. He could faintly hear the music and smell the barbecue, although his horse senses didn't think much of that. He desperately wished he was human again. He'd always enjoyed parties and dancing. From the music they were probably doing a square dance. It had been years since he'd done that.
Roxas knew why there was a party going on. From various comments he'd figured out that due to the conditions of the rivers and mountain passes, a large horse fair was always held in the fall. Private buyers who wanted their pick of the crop tended to stop in sooner, in the spring or summer. A mounted knight, minor nobility from the Steel Vale, had come in last week with an entourage of grooms and squires. The constant warfare down there generated a constant need for new war horses, and he'd bought twenty of the best at prices that were a bit breathtaking. Roxas had always known that a well-trained war horse was very expensive but he'd never really appreciated it before. That major sale had pretty much ensured this would be a good year for the ranch.
"Hey horse." Roxas shied away, surprised, then spotted Axel at the fence. How had he missed the redhead? But then, horses couldn't see well in the dark. Roxas paced over. There was someone beside him.
"Aren't you ever going to name the beast?" Terra. Roxas dipped his head as Axel offered him a peppermint, taking it off his palm with a brush of velvet lips. Axel chuckled and gave him a scratch. Roxas could smell the alcohol on the two of them but leaned into the attention anyway.
"When he tells me his name." Axel said whimsically but it made Roxas wonder. Axel could sense he was different. Did he maybe have a touch of clairvoyance? "I think he might soon."
"You're crazy." Was Terra's opinion. The larger man leaned against the fence, making it creak. Axel glanced at him curiously.
"Terra, I've always wondered. Why did you come here?" Axel asked. There was a brief silence and the redhead blinked, wetting his lips before he spoke again. "I mean, if you don't mind telling me." Terra was silent for a moment longer then shrugged.
"I was just bumming around, looking for a place to settle. I stayed here for a summer, met Marilee and her father looked on my suit with favor and sold me the place. If you mean how I got out of the crusading business…"
"That was what I meant." Axel's tone was dry and Roxas tilted his head. Terra had been a crusader? That term could encompass everything from holy warriors to selective, expensive mercenaries. They were always very good and that explained a lot about Terra. Terra smiled at Axel's tone before shrugging again.
"I was already getting a bit tired of it. There was a… falling out with my friends." Terra's tone made it clear he wasn't going to elaborate on that. Roxas imagined there was a painful story there. "We were still together but our last mission went badly wrong. Many innocents were killed." Terra's gaze was far away as he remembered. "Aqua was probably right. If we'd let the cultists continue it would have been worse but… too many died. So I left. Ventus and Aqua are probably still looking for me."
"They don't know where you went?" Axel asked, surprised. Terra glanced at him and shook his head.
"Of course not. I didn't know I'd end up here." He pointed out and Axel flushed. Terra had already told him that. "They wouldn't look for me here. They probably think I've been corrupted into evil, since my talents are earth based and the earth is inherently corrupt." Roxas pricked his ears at that. That was the first he'd heard of that, and he'd known plenty of wizards. He'd slept with several. Axel looked confused as well.
"The earth is corrupt? What do you mean?" He asked cautiously. Terra sighed and scratched his head for a moment, reaching out to give Roxas a scratch. He leaned into it hopefully. He wanted to hear more of this story too.
"It's a long story, but the short of it is that… well, you know all the gods started out as powerful wizards?" Terra said. Roxas winced to himself and considered carefully stepping away. That was absolutely true but it was never wise to say it out loud. Some gods had a quick hand with the thunderbolts. Axel nodded cautiously, glancing up at the sky. "They just have access to power sources that are beyond normal wizards, like prayer and portfolios. They gained that knowledge through study and gathering more traditional power sources."
"I get it. Keep going?" Axel sounded uncomfortable and Terra grinned at him.
"There's a reason I worship Epona. She was one of the oldest gods and her wandering priests teach her true origins. Calm down, carrot top. Anyway. Before the gods ascended, the old ones had similar powers. But they were never human. No one knows exactly what they were, but their influence on humans was always destructive. They drew power from negative emotions and pain. The blood sacrifices the gods demand now are nothing compared to what was demanded then." Roxas was fascinated. He'd never heard anything like this before. There were all kinds of explanations of how the world was created, usually giving credit to whatever god the teller believed in. Roxas had never believed any of those and wasn't sure he believed this, but it was more interesting. "The old ones underestimated us and when the gods ascended, they cast down the old ones. But they couldn't kill them. Apparently, they were also taking power from the planet itself and destroying them would mean the end of everything. So they imprisoned the old ones deep in the earth. Mining can be perilous because of that. The deeper you go, the more likely it is you'll find something unfortunate. And drawing power from the earth always draws a whiff of their corruption."
"I see." Axel rubbed his eyebrow as Roxas thought about the earth witches and wizards he'd known. They'd all been able healers and while most were fine the bad ones were very bad indeed. Blood magic came easily to them. He'd been told it was because earth was associated with death but perhaps not. "Why haven't they found you yet, if they're still looking? It's been what, eight years?" That was a long time for a mercenary, even crusaders. Terra shrugged.
"They're probably looking in the wrong place. There's no minerals here, not much plant life. My powers are relatively weak here, with only dirt and grass to power them. Ventus would be powerful here with his air powers. Aqua would be even weaker than I am." Terra rested his chin in his hand for a moment. Roxas thought he might be done until he spoke again. "The other reason I settled here is... there's a time in a man's life when he looks back and thinks about what he's going to leave behind. What he helped build. As a crusader I spent most of my time destroying things. When I looked back on it all and realized there was nothing I had built, well, I wanted a change. I wanted something that would last. So I settled here."
"It's a good place for it." Axel agreed. "And you took a struggling ranch and turned it into a great one." Terra laughed and clapped him on the shoulder.
"Thanks for the compliment. Let's go in and get some beer." Roxas watched them go, feeling oddly stricken. Stung by a strange thought, he considered his life as an assassin. What had he left behind him? What had he... built? The answer seemed to be nothing.
Nothing.