I could see this coming for a long time. It was no longer a matter of whether it would occur, but when. Sharon and I have gone our separate ways again. The only difference is it's probably for good this time.

Yes, Stan turning 10 had something to do with it. Yes, my pursuit of being the next big tween wave artist had something to do with it. If you look closely, these and a bunch of other things all have a common theme to them. That theme is I feel old and will do whatever it takes to come off as young so I can stay happy.

I can't pinpoint the exact moment where my unhappiness began. I only know that I used to live life seriously and not long ago, I began what could probably be best described as an extended midlife crisis. I have to admit that Sharon was right when she said picking drunken fights with baseball dads, playing World of Warcraft, looking to become the next big Food Network star and even my tween wave experiment are all things that would have been better pursued at a younger age. However, something inside me showered a wave of regret over not living life to its fullest and I developed a now-or-never mentality.

In reality, I think tween wave is crap, just like Sharon said it is. When I first heard it, I became worried that I was turning into my wife, someone who is overly critical of every new youth fad and thus looked down upon by the young people who seem to dictate the direction pop culture heads in. I didn't want that to happen to me. Rather than fight it, I felt the need to join it so I could stay up with the times.

I truly wish I didn't have to lose my marriage, but the falling-out Sharon and I had became too much for either of us to hold it in anymore. We've both gotten older and thus grown apart. I told her that since I'm probably closer to the end of my life than the beginning, I want to enjoy whatever remaining time God has given me. I had a choice of staying married to a woman who wasn't going to support whatever activities I wanted to get involved in or breaking it off before it was too late.

It was tough to choose, but at the same time, pretty easy. By getting out of the married life, I could enjoy the things I wanted to enjoy without anyone tying me down. Of course, I'd still be responsible for the well-being of Shelly and Stan and that's fine since they're more important to me than anyone else in the world. I'd be free of everything else though.

I really wish I didn't have to leave my kids in this situation. It's not their fault their parents aren't together anymore. Also in a way, I'd rather they live with one separated parent than two married parents who no longer feel any connection between each other. That could create a lot of stress for them, but then again, they're probably stressed out by their new family situation anyway.

Sharon and I put the house up for sale and I moved out before the rest of the family did. While I'll still be able to see the kids regularly, they'll be spending most of their time with Sharon. It breaks my heart that I couldn't take them with me. That's what happens anytime a couple with children splits though: one parent is going to see their kids less than the other one.

While I'm out on my own now, I still can't sleep at night. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out just what it was that made my marriage fail. Was I too willing to try things that would make me feel younger than I actually was or was Sharon too willing to settle down and be content with everything she had ever done? What I do know is when one partner wants more at an older age and the other doesn't, there's no way the marriage can work anymore.

Outwardly, I'm the same happy-go-lucky guy my friends have always known. But inside, I can't help feeling bad about the pain I've caused for the people who are closest to me. Sharon no longer has a man in her life and my kids can only see one parent at a time from now on except on special occasions. None of this would have happened though if I didn't feel trapped in a life that was holding me back from myself.

It's going to take some time for me to get over this as I'm sure it will for the rest of my family. There's a chance at least some of us might not ever get over it. Having your world torn apart right before you is a difficult thing to stomach. I can only pray the pain of separation will ease over time, however long it may take.