Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

A/N: I know, college. Sorry. But I'm on a break soon/now, so for a few weeks it probably won't be a barren desert. :D

Day 4

"Light-kun, I think it's about time we begin looking into potential colleges for Hatori."

Light wasn't paying attention.

"Light-kun!"

"What? Oh, sorry, Ryuuzaki. I was trying to figure out how I stormed out of the room yesterday with the handcuffs on."

L gave him a funny look. "What do you mean? That never happened."

"Yeah, yesterday. I took Hatori and stormed away from you when you called him 'it,' and somehow I managed this with the handcuffs on."

"That never happened."

"Oh. Right."

Having established that that never happened, the new issue of the day could be discussed.

"Light-kun, I think it's about time we begin looking into potential colleges for Hatori," L repeated.

"College?"

"Yes. Money will not be an issue, and I am certain that Hat-chan will be intelligent enough to get into any college he so desires, but it is my opinion that we should have some suggestions prepared for him when the time comes."

"Oh, okay. Well..." Light checked his watch. "It's time for his dinner. Come with me and we'll discuss it?"

"Yes."

L shuffled after him, thumb to his lips, pondering, as Light uncapped a jar of mashed carrots. Scooping them expertly, Light conveyed the spoon to the space where a mouth would be, were the bag of flour an actual, living creature.

"So, where do you suggest?" Light asked.

"George Washington University, naturally."

"That's in the United States."

"Obviously."

"But that's so far away!"

"We would, of course, go with him."

"Oh yes, I'm sure he'd be so pleased that his parents came with him to college."

"If I were Hatori, I believe I would be pleased if my parents- two of the most intelligent human beings in the history of the world and one of the wealthiest- accompanied me to college. There are distinct advantages to such an arrangement."

"But college is the time to gain independence, Ryuuzaki," said Light, putting another spoonful to Hatori's 'mouth,' not seeming to notice that mashed carrot was dribbling down his front and staining the bag. "How can he grow as an individual if he's still so close to us?"

"You seem to have managed."

"I'm not Kira."

"I actually, for once, was not implying that you are."

"It's a reflex."

When the jar was empty, Light picked Hatori up and held him at his shoulder, patting him on the back to burp him.

Inspired by Hatori's carrot-eating, L ambled over to the refrigerator, pulling out a plate of cake and immediately diving in.

Light froze.

"...Light-kun?"

"That's... cake."

"Correct."

"Cake, Ryuuzaki."

"Yes."

"Cake is made of..." He glanced fearfully at Hatori. "F-L-O-U-R."

L's eyes went wide and without a word he threw the plate away from himself. He ran over to the sink and spit out all the cake that was still in his mouth, frantically sticking his head under the faucet and rinsing out his mouth, spitting again.

"Hat-chan, I am so sorry," he said emphatically, hair soaked.

"It's okay," Light said soothingly. "You didn't think about it. But I still don't think he wants to see you right now. Just give him a little time to deal with that."

"Yes," L agreed, nodding heavily.

"Unchain me for a minute and I'll put him to bed and come right back."

Normally, of course, L would have rejected this idea, but he was too flustered by the thought of what he had just done to think straight, and he freed Light and let him go.

He was alone in the room.

There was more cake in the fridge, and Hatori wasn't here.

Shuddering, tears in his eyes, hating himself, he removed another piece and quickly hoovered it.

Maybe Watari had been right all those years ago. Maybe he really did need rehab.