yay! hope you enjoy!
France waited in the closet for his target. Any second now, he would be passing. Any second. Was that him? No, the footsteps were England's. Is-? No, that was Canada, but that meant...there he was. France chuckled evilly.
"What was-mmph!" France clamped a hand over Prussia's mouth and pulled him into the closet. "Franny, what the hell? Kidnapping is totally not awesome!" Prussia hissed.
"Shh, Antoine is coming," France shushed. Prussia nodded. France reached out and grabbed the clueless Spaniard.
"Wait, this isn't the Meeting Room..." the Spaniard stated, blinking.
"Shut up, Tonio!" Prussia ordered.
"Gilbert?"
"Shh!" France shushed.
"Francis?" Spain smiled brightly. "Mi amigos!" He cried. Prussia pinched his nose.
"Be quiet, you Ball-Chin!" He demanded. Spain felt his chin.
"Que? I don't have balls on my chin..." he trailed off.
Hungary, Belgium, and Belarus were conversing about shoes when a golden tomato rolled over in front of the three of them. Hungary picked it up. "To the most beautiful" was inscribed into the side.
"Oh, this is mine, then!" She smiled. Belgium scoffed.
"Everyone knows I'm the most beautiful," She stated, taking the tomato from the brunette. Hungary glared at her.
"I beg to differ." Belgium glared back. The two started to argue loudly.
"Stop fighting!" Belarus finally shouted. They both went silent. Belarus took the tomato from Belgium's hand. "Besides, you both know it was intended for me," she added.
Hungary and Belgium both punched her in the face, and the three started to fight over the tomato. The Bad Touch Trio laughed evilly and ran off.
Denmark and Netherlands were leaning against opposite walls, glaring at each other. Prussia walked between them with a big hat.
"What's with the stupid red hat?" Denmark scoffed.
"It's blue, you idiot," Netherlands corrected. Denmark glared at the Dutch man.
"No, dumbass, its red." Denmark replied. Netherlands rolled his eyes.
"Are you colorblind, you asshole? Its obviously blue!" Denmark stood up straight.
"It's red, you fucking dickhead!" He retorted. The Dane and the Dutch started to argue. Prussia ran up to France and Spain, high-fiving them. Spain took off the hat, staring at the blue side and then turning it to see the opposite side was red.
"I get it!" He cried. His friends grabbed him and ran off.
America was walking along, nomming on his hamburger, when a voice called, "Hey fatty!" America stopped, looking around. He was the only one there, so someone must be talking to him.
"Who's there?" He pouted.
"Nobody! What's wrong with you, you unawesome pig!" the voice shouted. America glared at his surroundings.
"Nobody, you jerk!" He insulted.
"Your penis is microscopic! I know because I saw those tiny condoms Russia made you!"
"Hey, shut up about that!" America whined.
Suddenly, a tomato hit America in the face. He started to throw a fit, attracting attention from England and Canada.
"What happened, brother?" Canada asked.
"Nobody threw a tomato at me!" America replied. Canada blinked.
"What is going on with you?" England scolded.
"Nobody called me fat and a pig and Nobody made fun of my penis and Nobody hit me with a tomato!" America complained. England took Canada's hand and stormed off. "Arthur~!" America whined.
The Bad Touch Trio died laughing, running off.
It was half an hour before the meeting. Poland was fixing his hair when France walked up to him. "Looking beautiful, my old ally," France smiled pleasantly. Poland shrugged.
"I try."
"I wanted to tell you the meeting was pushed back four hours," France explained. Poland got up.
"Oh good, because I'm starving. Are you sure? I heard today we get our group picture taken. Well, thanks for telling me!" Poland smiled. France walked off, turning the corner and meeting up with his friends. They snickered and ran off.
Finland had brought Hanatamago with him today. He knew he shouldn't have, but the dog was good and sat by his chair, only whimpering when Germany yelled at everyone. Finland was hungry, however, so he stopped by a food stand.
"Hanatamago, stay," He ordered. Hanatamago barked to signify that she understood. Satisfied, Finland went to buy himself some lunch.
Spain walked along, whistling innocently, until he reached Hanatamago. The dog looked up at him, confused. Suddenly, he grabbed her and ran, meeting up with Prussia and France and taking off.
When Finland returned, he found Hanatamago to be gone. He knew his dog would not have ran off. Someone must have stolen her.
A change came over Finland then. His face grew dark, and a blood-red aura surrounded him. Russia, who was walking by, noticed the aura. He used to have a purple one like that. Why was it coming from Finland?
"Finland, are you alright?" Russia asked. Finland looked up at him, eyes glowing red.
"Where's my dog?" He roared. Russia backed up.
"Sveeeeedeeeeeen!"
France was petting Hanatamago as Prussia and Spain kept guard. Prussia signaled that Finland was coming, so France hurriedly hid the dog.
"Where's my dog?" Finland snarled at the unfortunate nation who passed him. He had an evil aura around him. "I'll murder you if I don't find my dog!"
Once Finland had left, France took out Hanatamago. She barked, whining when she realized Finland didn't hear her.
"Maybe we shouldn't have stolen Finland's dog..." Prussia trailed off.
"We are going to die. At least we had fun," France agreed.
"What? Why are we going to die?" Spain asked.
An emergency meeting was held. Countries were outraged at the things that were going on. Germany stood. "I believe Romano has something to say," he prompted.
Romano stood. "Don't look at me, you fucking Potato," Romano huffed. "Anyways, I saw France," France flinched, "Prussia," Prussia winced, "and Spain," Spain cringed, "stealing Hanatamago."
Finland got up. "Diediediediediediedie..."
Hanatamago ran into the room, jumping up onto Finland's leg. The Finn instantly reverted back to his normal ways. "Hanatamago, I missed you!" He cried, hugging the dog.
Hungary, Belgium, and Belarus stood. All of them had been beaten up (by each other). "What about our situation?" They asked. Spain grabbed the golden tomato.
"Hey look guys, this is ours! See, 'cause I said it should be in the shape of a tomato!" He cried. France smacked him.
"You idiot!"
Denmark and Netherlands stood up with Ukraine. She held the red and blue hat in her hands. "What about Denmark and Abel-I mean, Netherlands!" Ukraine blushed.
"Hey Gilbert, its your funny hat!" Spain cried again. Prussia punched him.
"You idiot!"
America stood. "What about me?" He shouted. Spain giggled.
"Nobody. Tee hee! That was a good one, you guys!" He laughed. Both kicked him.
"You idiot!"
"Hey, where's Poland?" Lithuania suddenly asked. France and Prussia covered Spain's mouth.
"We don't know," They answered nervously.
"WE DEMAND BLOOD!" the victims ordered. Germany sighed.
Prussia, France, and Spain hung from three separate flag poles by only their underwear. "At least we had fun?" France asked meekly.
"MY BAAAAAALLS!" Prussia shrieked. Spain stared down at the ground for a moment in silence.
"...hey guys, why are we up here?"
-and then France went home and had sex with Switzerland for the first time-
because the bad touch trio were being tricksters, I looked up myths about tricksters. most are Greek mytholgy
golden tomato/apple: [Greek] this is the trick that ultimately led to the Trojan War. Eris the goddess of discord showed up uninvited to a wedding, angry that she wasn't invited, and threw a golden apple with "the the fairest" written on it. the apple landed at Hera, Aphrodite, and Athena's feet. (it really shocked me that the goddess of wisdom would do something so stupid as to fight over a dumb golden apple...)
red/blue hat: [?] a trickster god walked in between two villages and so all the left village could see was a blue hat, but the right village could only see a red hat. The villagers fought over what color the hat was and killed each other until no one was left
Nobody: [Greek] Odysseus tricked a cyclops into calling him Nobody which would confuse the other cyclops ("nobody blinded me!") unfortunately, as Odysseus was leaving he revealed his true name, and the cyclops prayed to his father Poseidon god of the sea to kill Odysseus. (and boooy, did Poseidon try!)
telling Poland/the cat that the meeting/feast was held back a few hours/the next day: [Chinese] the rat told the cat that the feast was the following day, which was a lie, and so the cat missed the feast where, afterwards, the twelve animals became zodiac signs. poor cat...
stealing Hanatamago/a sacred cow: [Greek] Hermes stole sacred cows from Apollo, but did not get away with it. technically. he traded the lyre, a musical instrument he made, for the cows, and Apollo accepted. the lyre is now a symbol of Apollo