So far away...yet close- Chapter 1
You say yes, I say no
You say stop and I say go, go, go
You say goodbye and I say hello
Hello, hello
I don't know why you say goodbye... /
This is my first fanfic and it MAY have some formatting and mechanical errors. Please leave a RR. :)
That nostalgic scent. Where's it coming from? I see. It's coming from Zero. I press my fingers over my mouth. Exactly, how am I able to comprehend what happened "that" day? Tears of guilt and sorrow were pouring from my eyes, Zero was glaring at me and abruptly, I confessed my true hidden feelings I bottled up for so long, then sooner than I thought, Zero kissed me. I was lost. Why do I still have that memory? I'll be dead next time I see him. I don't care, as long as my soul lives on being next to Zero, it's the only thing I desire.
February 10th, 2011-
A knock on the door startled me. "Come in." I said.
A familiar face crept up behind the door. Yori. I teared up and hugged her with life. "Yori-chan! I missed you!" I cried.
"Same for me, Yuuki-chan." Yori softly spoke. "You might want to be careful around me, I'm a monster inside. Remember, my red eyes warn for danger." I warned her.
"Is that so? I don't care. All I want is Yuki to be happy." Yori smiled.
Kaien let a cry of joy. "Yoriiiii! How are you doing?" Kaien shouted.
He is so embarrassing, I sighed. I felt so warm, glad to see my old friend again.I never saw her since I left the academy due to the Night Class being abolished and me being a vampire. I shudder at seeing Zero again, yet yearning our meeting. My Dad serves us teriyaki and a parfait.
"Let's eat!" I smiled. I haven't been like this since the Yuki I used to be was gone. I also had to be served a BLOOD tablet, dissolving in water; in a wine glass. Disgusting. It's nothing like Zero's blood. I drank with gluttony and despair. Yori can tell I'm still not satisfied. After I left the table, Yori and I went straight into my room. She glanced at the picture of Zero and me. I was clutching his arm, smiling and he was staring me trying to fake a smile. I cry at the picture, countless times. I wish I was human again.
"Ah, Zero and you. Yuki?" Yori asked. "Yes?" I said. "Are you in love with, Zero-kun?" Yori asked profoundly.
I was flustered. "U-um why do you ask?" I mumbled.
"Because you always sulk at his picture and you always talk about him." Yori said.
Darn, she found me out. I didn't know it was so obvious. Isn't our relationship nothing more than broken friendship?
"I..."My pathetic mouth couldn't finish the sentence. Baka! Baka! Baka! "I-I...um.. I have never really talked to anyone else about this..you could say... I'm in love with Zero." I blushed furiously.
Yori's face brightened and wasn't surprised. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. He's well, Zero-kun and he only softens up to YOU, Yuuki." Yori hugged me.
"It is shameful! I WAS in love with Kaname-sama but after he left me, it made me yearn for someone and I didn't know who." "I drank Zero's blood before and... I felt satisfied. 'one vampire's thirst is quenched by their loved one.' and I've realized it." I quivered.
"You've drank Zero-kun's blood before?" Yori seemed surprised.
I was a vampire after all and I can't control my thirst. Let's face it. I am a lonely, pathetic and weak pureblood who can't decide who to love. Zero was in fact, in love with me. But vampire Yuuki had to push him away for KANAME. I'm feeling guilt, but why? Have I been shoving Zero away for... Kaname-sama? My face scrunched up.
"All I know, if Kaname finds out anything that happened between Zero and me, he'll surely be jealous and try to kill him." I was on the verge of crying, again.
"You won't let him, don't you have powers that control others?" Yori replied. "Yes, but I am too pathetic and weak to handle them." I frowned.
"Yuuki! You're not pathetic! Stop putting down yourself!" Yori defended me, showing a side I have never seen of her.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... is love in the hearts of the lovers? I know I lost my romantic affection for Kaname. I'm too scared to face him. If I break our relationship, he'll kick me out with nothing and treat me cruelly. Unbelieveable, right? 'Like Kaname-sama would ever do that.' Stupid instincts. Shut up!
March 18th, 2011-
Months pass by with me dreading my fate and desiring to feel Zero's lips against mine. It recently snowed and we were trapped indoors. Nothing but a dull, freezing day. We waited until the sun blew in and drank up the snow like a sponge.
"At last, some sun!" What did I just say? Some sun, finally? Vampires despise the sun, so why I am needing it?
Human Yuki loved the sun, she loved to walk through the forests near our house and drink the crystal clear, fresh water of the creeks. Now, I am pale and house-ridden with no life. I don't smile (I fake it), I pathetically cry for no reason and I also drag myself to get out of my room. Spring has sprung its way into the town and at last, I've found some life in myself. I was skipping around, soaking up the sun and smiling. Wish Zero can see me like this. Wait, he is! He is? This is not a good moment. He's going to ruin my joy which I never had until NOW.
"What are you doing here?" A familiar voice spat out. "Who's there?" I asked. I crouched on the ground.
"Hmm...you can't even recognize Zero's voice. Pathetic." Zero growled. He paced up to me, glaring down and took out... Bloody Rose. "What..." I squeaked.
"You. How dare you go into this place without your 'precious' Kaname jerk." He sounded angry. What? Haven't we been through this already or is it deja vu?
"What's with you? You came up to me just so you can ruin my happiness? This is the FIRST time ever, that vampire Yuuki ever experienced joy."
I shed a tear. He DID ruin it. Thank's very much, to old, gruesome vampire Yuuki. Zero flinched and pondered over that thought.
"Go ahead. You can kill me. I have no point to live in this world since I am disgusting, pathetic vampire. Kill. Me." I screamed.
Zero showed a pained, angsty look on his pale face. I was bawling my eyes out. He would sure kill me, he hates me and he won't ever confess to me. (That he loves me.) His arm obviously was cramping for holding Bloody Rose in the air for a prolonged time.
"I-I... I can't. I am a vampire too. I'm disgusting myself. Shizuka... anyone like her deserves to burn in hell!" Zero was in pain. He returned Bloody Rose to his pocket, of his trench coat and fell to his knees. He had tears in his eyes, first time I ever saw Zero so remorseful and agitated. I started to place my hand on his delicate face. My face was doubtful, as he is unpredictable. But something overcame my doubt when I looked into his eyes apologetically. He left my hand where it is and later touched my hand graciously. It was a matter of time, he didn't push me away.
"I know that the human part of me is gone but I know theoretically, she's still there. You saw it." I forced a sad smile.
"I-I.. know. There's too much shock... from when you transformed... to make me forget... about the side that I truely was in love with." Zero's voice cracked.
So. He really was in love with me... He was always on the verge of suicide but who stopped him? Yuuki. Me. I always thought of us as best friends. Friends who stick with each other and care. I had Kaname as my lover back then. I was head-over-heels in love. I had pushed Zero away like he did with me and right now, he's just showing his true feelings. I truly understand now; I realize that Zero is my "loved one" because I'm satisifed with his blood and no one else's (Not even Kaname's) and I feel safe and happy near him. I'm the ONE who helped Zero when he was living in my house, when he was attacked by Shizuka. I am in love with Zero, now. I am frightened of what Kaname would think after I break up with him.
"Zero... don't hold back. I know you need blood. I'm the one you desire. Drink." I exposed my bare, soft neck. He couldn't hold back. He hugged me romantically and I gave him the OK. He licked my neck softly then he bared his fangs into my neck. I let out a small gasp and I know it hurts at first. Suddenly, it didn't feel like pain. It felt... connecting, romantic and pleasant. He stopped when he had enough. He wiped away the blood from his mouth. "Sorry if I drank too much. Your blood... is precious." Zero smiled. We were walking back to the my house, hand in hand. I greeted Dad with a hug. I felt relieved and happy. A happy family.
He's the one who's usually cold and discreet but when I'm near him, he's gentle and sweet,
Before the pain and countless tears, Zero was there to calm my fears,
I was always filled with dread, but you Zero was there to remove it from my head,
Millions words of betrayal would describe our affair but there's no lies that would be fair,
Please drink my blood and caress me, please don't ever forget me. Zero. 3
Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
and I say it's all right