The musketeers put their heads together tried to figure out their next move. It would take time to get to England and they wouldn't know where to start once they would get there. Buckingham was proving to be quite the slippery customer. Athos glanced at his ex wife, unsure of how to approach it with her. She saw it coming from a mile away.

'You can search his home in London and his lodgings in the country but you're not guaranteed to find him' she confirmed. 'And I don't know anything else so you can stop asking.'

Athos felt an unaccustomed jolt of jealousy of the thought of Buckingham and Milady together. Was she sweet to him? Did he lead her to bed or was it the other way around? Knowing now how duplicitous she could be, he was inclined to think that she would take control of him once they got there. But he blocked it out and tried to stay neutral. But Milady had already seen that look in his eyes and it unnerved her for a minute. Athos was not the jealous type. Perhaps he was thinking of when they were married and if she had ever betrayed him with another. She never had done and had never wanted to, their marriage had been sweet, but it was certainly on his mind. She didn't pursue it however, and turned her back on him. This was enough to bring him over.

'Can we talk?'

'What is there to talk about?'

'I need to talk to you.'

They kept their voices low and impersonal; it was like talking to a stranger. She kept her eyes on Rochefort who went over to the others and engaged them in trite conversation so that Athos could draw her outside. They closed the door quietly and leaned against it. Milady suddenly felt drained. She didn't want to have to have this conversation, whatever it might be. Athos seemed on edge.

'I don't care for hearing about what a jezebel I am, Athos. You get bored with it after a short while' she commented, wearily.

Athos stared at her. He couldn't think of what he wanted to say.

'When did you get like this?'

She gave him a look of disdain. To think that someone as sincere as Athos could fall into the trap of thinking every woman was either one character or the other. Men just didn't understand how it was never as simple as that. At least Rochefort wasn't so ridiculous as to involve himself with the deeper nature of women. He loved them and left them and that was that. He didn't concern himself with understanding them. Women had secrets as much as men, more even, and she didn't have the patience to explain it all to her ex husband who didn't seem to have a clue. Poor, naive Athos.

'I was never the cute little thing you thought I was, Athos. I'm not a trophy piece to show off, I wanted more than that. You were the most decent man to me and I was happy with our marriage until you ended it all. But I'm not a submissive creature, I never can be. And if that is what you wanted from me then I can't give you that.'

Athos could only remember a gentle wife from her, so loving and endearing and he wondered how it all went wrong.

'Nothing went wrong. You fell out of love with me. And I couldn't be your little kitten.'

He protested at that, he had always appreciated her character. But there had always been a spark of fire haunting her. He had hoped it would calm down over the years. And instead it had spun out of control, making her into this person he had known nothing about. He was convinced of her guilt the minute he saw the treacherous symbol burned onto the fair skin on her shoulder. Could that mean that he never trusted her in the first place? That thought hurt him still. He knew she was the one to blame for everything but she wasn't taking that from him. She was making him feel the responsibility of ending it with her.

'Stop it!' He shouted, punching his fist into the door. Were his thoughts getting too loud for his head?

She flinched and drew back to avoid the strike that could be coming to her next but nearly tumbled down the narrow staircase. He rushed to catch her and in a whirl, they ended up collapsed on the top of the stairs in the inexplicable position in each other's arms. They stayed there for a while catching their breath. He buried his face in her hair to hide his shame over his sudden outbreak while she leaned against him with a hand holding his shirt, needing a security blanket until the shock faded.

'I'm sorry' he whispered to her, feeling the need to apologise. 'I would never hit you.'

She knew this was true. Athos rarely used his fists and certainly not against women. It was against his nature. 'Even if you wanted to hurt me, you wouldn't do it like that.'

'Are these really your true colours? Working for Richelieu brought them out? Tell me you can't be this unscrupulous' he implored her, face still buried in that silky mane of auburn. He wanted to keep the image of his angel intact but she wasn't letting him.

'I need to secure myself for my life. I could have done that with you but you decided it wasn't to be.' They rose as one, still holding onto each other.

'You're ruining your life allying yourself with him.'

'What choice do I have? I am already cursed. What harm would it do to side with the devil?'

'You don't mean that.' He loosened his hold and looked at her. She gazed back at him with those bewitching eyes; unrepentant for her actions, regretful for the way it turned out to be.

'I am not who you think I am. What you thought I was, was only a part of me. And you weren't willing to take all of me as your wife. I had to be the way you wanted me to be so I could survive. But it wasn't enough. I need more than that; I have to live, not to just merely survive.'

'And I couldn't give you what you wanted? What you needed?'

She turned away.

'You could have. If I could have trusted you to have shown myself. For you to not judge me. But that was too much for you. You can't take one aspect of a person and expect them to live like that for the rest of their lives.'

'I didn't know there was another side of you to discover' he pleaded, wanting her back in his arms.

He reached for her hand but she declined. She shook her head.

'You couldn't handle it. I was never perfect. I've made mistakes, I know I have. I tried to be what you wanted, to conceal my past. But it's not enough for you. You want someone untouchable. And that's not me. I don't love this life. I don't even like it. I don't want to be doing this. But I've got to find a way to live before I suffocate trying to be someone I'm not. Even for you.'