Title: Aquadisiac

Author: Judyku

Email: Miss_.uk

Rating: NC-17

Category: Smallville/Angel crossover

Genre: Humour/Romance

Summary: A random kiss from a pretty brunette leads to romance, demon auctions, and ugly gray blobby things.

Pairing: Cordelia Chase/Arthur Curry

Disclaimer: I own nixies

Distribution: Here, AO3, and anyplace else that will accept this.

Cordelia stared up at the guy and found herself pleasantly surprised.

He had good features by way of a strongly shaped jaw and defined cheekbones. She followed the contours up to close cropped dark blonde hair and green eyes that twinkled with curiosity and intrigue.

Her gaze dropped to the mouth she'd been attached too and her eyebrows rose. His lips were swollen, shiny with her lip gloss, and his neck held little white wakes obviously made by her nails.

All in all, he was handsome in the stereotypical beach bum way, something she was glad for cos it'd do no good for her to be seen kissing a frog.

Her gaze dropped to his mouth and her eyebrows rose high. His lips were swollen, shiny with her lip gloss and droplets of shared saliva, and God. How embarrassing was that?

That old saying came to mind. Drool me once, shame on you, drool me twice and all that jazz. Like it wasn't bad enough she'd dribbled in the audition, she had to go and use Beach Boy's mouth as a napkin.

However much she'd like to apologise, which wasn't a lot, he seemed to be waiting for something.

Oh, right.

An explanation.

A sensible explanation didn't enter her head as hope bubbled up. "Did you feel anything?"

AC's jaw dropped. "Come again?"

"You know, feel anything?"

Cordelia watched as a smug grin curled his lips up. "Other than the norm, you mean?"

She blinked in confusion. "The norm?"

That grin turned wicked as he made no bones about letting her know about his bone.

Her face burned and she resisted the urge to look down cos hey, he certainly didn't need anymore ego stroking. "I meant migrainy, doofus. Did you feel anything migrainy?"

This time it was AC who blinked in confusion, but he didn't get a chance to answer.

"Bet he does have a head ache." Bart chuckled in a way that ensured everyone knew what he meant.

The comment had Cordelia glaring at a skinny guy in a red hoodie who was openly gawking. "Who asked you?"

Skinny Guy threw his hands up in submission. "Nobody."

"Then cram it, dirt mouth." She snapped, really not in the mood to deal with the crude.

Cordelia found herself the target of an offended young blonde girl. "You can't talk to him like that."

"Listen, sister. I'm in the middle of a crisis here and his personal brand of charm? So not helping." The newly appointed seer looked back to Beach Boy only to find him frowning at her. "No to the migraines? What about a blue light? You see one of those?"

She felt his hands slip away from her hips and take a few steps away from her, the actions bringing home a realisation and she smacked her own forehead. "Oh my God. How dumb can I be? Wait, don't answer that. I know this gonna sound weird and all, but..."

"Listen, sister." He mocked in a way that made him a lot less handsome. "I'm in the middle of a day out with my friends and your personal brand of saying hi? So not helping."

Cordelia paused long enough to cross her arms and arch a single brow. "Those originality classes really paid off."

"How did you do in that originality class?"

Cordelia looked at the owner of the voice and saw another blonde girl looking right back. Unlike the first blonde female, this one was a little older and her lips twitched with a smirk.

She felt the woman's gaze roam slowly over her and to say that did nothing but increase her ire was an understatement. "What's your limited assessment tell you?"

"I'd say C plus, B minus." The woman continued before Cordelia could say anything in response to the inspection. "Points off for the out of work actress look."

"Hey." Cordelia defended. "I'll have you know I had a national this morning. Sure I won't get a call back, cos hello. Crisis."

"What crisis was that?" The first blonde spoke up. "Implants went wrong?"

A brunette smirked. "Or maybe she broke a nail on the casting couch."

Cordelia didn't respond for a few seconds as she simply stared at them. "Good to know there are people in the world who think there's more to life than people in trouble. Attitudes like that just scream A for effort."

She didn't give them a chance to reply and turned to Beach Boy as she fished an ever present business card out of her back pocket. When she finally spoke again, her voice was full of utter contempt. "You might need this. You know, in case an ugly gray blobby thing tries to steal your eyes. Though I'm sure your friends can judge it to death."

With that, Cordelia slapped the Angel Investigations card into the chest of Beach Boy and walked away, hoping Doyle's visions hadn't been passed to someone like him.

XXX

"Wow." AC heard Chloe say, but couldn't tear his gaze from the direction the brunette had stalked off and guilt welled up in his chest. As his friends kept talking about the girl, he went over and over the conversation in his head.

Had she really deserved the amount of censure thrown her way? All she'd really done was tell Bart to can it, which he couldn't fault as his buddy's comment had been pretty damn crude, something they had all done in the past. Sure, her tone had been quite waspish, but hadn't she said something about a crisis?

Then there was the kiss and a damn good kiss at that.

Seriously, he knew there were greater forces at work other than a spontaneous rush of lust on her part. After all, how many girls went around kissing strange guys? She obviously had a reason strong enough to make her do that and that reason probably had to do with why she'd asked if he felt anything migrainy or if he'd seen a blue light.

What about an ugly gray blobby thing that might try to steal his eyes? What the hell made her say that of all things?

AC shook his head in an effort to shake off the confusion, but it did no good and he only ended up more confused. Though it could be said that was a bonus in the grand scheme of things as his blood was no longer headed due south.

He looked down at the card held loosely in his hand.

"I feel kinda bad." Courtney said. "I just didn't like the way she spoke to Bart."

"I didn't like the way she spoke to you." Mia followed before she sighed. "But yeah, maybe we went a bit too far. I mean, we don't know anything."

"They were real." AC muttered as he continued to look at the business card.

"Did you say something?" Victor asked, still a little uncomfortable at the tense atmosphere.

AC nodded and faced his friends, his gaze more than troubled. "Yeah. I said they were real. Her breasts, I mean. And I'm sure she didn't like Bart's comment too much, either."

Contrition washed over the speedster's expression. "Sorry, man. I can't help it. I think fast, I speak fast."

"She didn't know that." Oliver interjected. "All she heard was some dude making a crass remark and it was pretty crass, Allen. Even for you."

Bart nodded in acceptance. "I can imagine a mamacita like that one gets the rude everyday."

AC sighed and returned to his seat, then took a few moments to gather his thoughts before he spoke. "What do you think she meant? About the migraine and blue light... None of you saw a blue light, right?"

Chloe tapped her fingers on the table in a way that alerted everyone to the fact her brain was well and truly in gear. "Migraines can have all sorts of effects. Sensitivity to light and sound, blackouts, nausea and complete vomiting, some people can hallucinate."

AC arched his brows. "You the voice of experience?"

A quirky grin appeared. "Once and that was quite enough, thank you very much. Suffice to say migraines aren't your normal head ache."

Oliver nodded his agreement. "Maybe she got a migraine in that national. It'd explain why she wouldn't get a call back."

"Yeah, but that doesn't explain why she'd think a kiss would pass it on to me." AC countered. "Or explain the ugly grey blobby thing that might try to steal my eyes."

"But we don't know if she did have a migraine or how the length of time between that and her pouncing on our dried up buddy here."

"Bart!" They all groaned.

He grinned unrepentantly, but that grin quickly faded. "I feel funny."

Almost instantly, Courtney and Mia leaned away from him, fearing the worst from the guy who ate anything and everything.

AC, equally worried for the same fear of upchuck, glanced uneasily at his buddy. "You didn't drink a whole bottle of tequila again before you ran route 66, did you?"

His question had the other guys staring in Allen's direction and the man of the hour shook his head. "No." He protested. "Well, maybe, but this isn't that kind of feeling. This is sorta like chest pain combined with the urge to turn back time."

Oliver caught the attention of AC and they both rolled their eyes. "That would be guilt." Chloe chuckled.

"I don't like it." Bart grumbled.

"Me either." Courtney muttered and sent an apologetic look at AC. "Sorry I was rude to her. I feel like I blew it for you."

The instant those words left her mouth was the same instant she became the sole focus of all the present members of the Justice League. Silence reigned momentarily before a squeak came from Mia and a similar one followed from Chloe. It was only a matter of seconds before full blown laughter filled the air and Courtney's cheeks positively burned.

She quickly defended herself. "I didn't mean it like that! I meant that I blew his shot... No! I didn't mean that, either! Stop looking at me like that!"

AC shook his head as his chuckles drifted into an amused sigh. "I hear ya, Court, and I appreciate the sentiment, but she was rude right back. To all of us."

"No." Mia denied. "She wasn't rude to Chloe who, let's be honest, didn't attack her. She wasn't rude, she was defensive."

That point of view put relief on Arthur's face. "Ya think?"

Oliver smiled. "I remember another brunette of the same calibre... And a blonde, right wife? Though you were a lot more subtle with the emotional equivalent of dry wall."

Chloe returned her husband's smile. "And here we are. The poster couple for marital bliss."

"Damn straight." Ollie agreed and threw his arm over her shoulders.

AC then found himself the recipient of a studious pair of brown eyes. "What is it, Queen?"

"We're all going out to dinner tonight." The archer replied. "You're gonna find that girl and invite her to join us. Give both her and us a chance to make a better impression."

Courtney beamed. "Yeah, let's do that. I can say sorry."

"So can I." Bart added.

Mia joined in. "And me."

AC was about to say it was a good idea, but Chloe got in there first. "As great as that sounds, she didn't strike me as the kind to forgive and forget so easily. But, our fisherman's enemy here has to go see her, so I say it's worth a try."

"She might be more open to suggestion if her stuff was returned." Chloe finished, that quirky smile of hers still in place.

He looked at her in confusion as she gestured to a spot just behind him. Thinking the woman had come back, he immediately turned only to be disappointed by the sight of an oversized purse on the pavement.

XXX

Thanks to Chloe's uncanny knack with her laptop and seeking out directions, it didn't take Arthur long to find the street he needed. In fact, it had taken him less than twenty minutes and for Los Angeles, that was an easy walking distance.

It was quite a busy street, he noticed, with a lot of people and traffic. He also noticed there weren't a lot of signs on the buildings, which made him thankful that he'd been foretold he was looking for a firehouse.

A quick look at the business card told him he was looking for Angel Investigations.

His lips twitched.

An investigation service with a lobster logo.

After he looked both ways thrice, AC scooted across the road and kept up the pace until he was outside the office he wanted. The only thing stopping him from entering was the sound of a female voice and since it was a familiar female voice, he figured it was the brunette.

"You're missing the point, Angel. I was in the middle of an audition and a national no less. It was my one chance to be a star."

AC could picture her pacing and waving her arms in irritation, and it made him grin in amusement.

This time, a man's voice filtered through the door. "What was it?"

"Extra Strength Stain B Gone."

"The vision, Cordelia. What was the vision?"

Arthur's eyebrows disappeared under his hair. Visions? She had visions? Well, she'd had one vision by the sound of things and he knew most people would think her nuts, but he wasn't most people and after half the stuff he'd seen? Visions were probably the most normal. After all, claims of a sixth sense went way back when.

Her voice broke through his thoughts and he chuckled as she waved away her friend's question with an airy reply that clearly said the vision was not her priority.

"It was a thing!"

"A thing?"

"An ugly gray blobby thing."

"Cordelia, if you saw it, this could mean ugly gray blobby dangerous thing."

"I think it was after my eyes, cos they kinds hurt after. So did my head, come to think of it, because I had a vision."

"I know you had a vision!" The man spoke again, frustration all over his tone. "Can you describe this... Blobby thing, really?"

"Give me a break, Angel! It's my first and hopefully last. I'm not exactly up on the visionity thing and again you're missing the point. I lost control of my entire central nervous system getting that stupid vision. I drooled, did I mention that? Actually drooled in front of the directors."

"You might have said that once or twice. So what happened?"

"What do you think happened? They gave it to a half naked blonde is what happened!"

Arthur shook his head in sheer amusement.

"I meant in the vision."

"Is that all you can talk about? Does my pain mean nothing to you? Can you see this twitching above my left eye? That's my vein. It's been throbbing ever since."

"Since the half naked blonde?"

AC grinned as the miscommunication continued. He could only imagine what a full blown conversation would be like.

"No, dumbass. Since the vision. Did Doyle's ever last this long?"

"They usually went after aspirin and a bottle of scotch."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Gimme the scotch."

"It might be a good idea to wait until after you tell me about the vision."

Having been on the end of her sharp tongue, AC pitied the guy.

"That's right. Angel gets the info while poor Cordy gets to suffer. What about my pain?"

Cordy? Was that her name?

"Pretty." AC murmured to himself and continued to listen, but there was silence now inside the office. The sudden quiet would be surprising if he hadn't been around others with super hearing, though it seemed pretty odd he'd find someone with that ability in down town L.A.

There was no time to question it as the door was pulled open and he found himself face to face with a man who, if AC had been anyone else, would have been intimidating. It could have been the fact the dude was dressed completely in black or the fact he had a set of dark eyes that were entirely expressionless. Well, expressionless bar a slight narrowing which was obviously a warning.

"You heard enough?" The man asked in a voice that dared.

However, Arthur Curry wasn't anyone else and he handled the inquiry in his usual style. "I heard what I wanted." And grinned.

The man didn't appear overly impressed. "And what was that?"

"The pretty lady's name." The swimmer gestured to the brunette now peeking over the man's right shoulder.

The man stared at AC for a second before he blinked. "Seriously, Cordy? This guy?"

"Don't judge me. I will smooch every damn frog in this kingdom until I get rid of it."

AC grinned again. "I've been single for over a year. Desperation I can work with."

A flicker of a smirk appeared on the man's pale lips when she scoffed. "I'm not that desperate."

He feigned a wounded heart and clutched his chest. "Ouch."

"You'll be screaming that word if you're looking for a repeat performance."

Now the hard to get female was something Arthur Curry knew like the back of his hand. After all, he'd suffered a year of em. "You're right. I should buy you dinner first. You can class it as a reward for returning your purse."

"I don't think so." The man stated abruptly. "Just hand my friend her purse and go. Unless you have a case, then your business is with me."

AC shook his head. "Sorry, dude. No to the bringing of work, though I'll tell my friends. What sorta cases do you take?"

"Ones that are out of your league." The brunette said. "But thanks. Money is always appreciated."

"I wouldn't be too sure, Cordy. He's not exactly human, are you dude?"