Title: Aquadisiac

Author: Judyku

Email: Miss_.uk

Rating: NC-17

Category: Smallville/Angel crossover

Genre: Humour/Romance

Summary: A random kiss from a pretty brunette leads to romance, demon auctions, and ugly gray blobby things.

Pairing: Cordelia Chase/Arthur Curry

Disclaimer: I own nixies

Distribution: Here, AO3, and anyplace else that will accept this.

Arthur wasn't wholly sure what happened. One moment he'd been negotiating dinner with a feisty vixen, then her friend had told him that was not gonna happen, then his none-human status got revealed and then...

Well, the only way to describe the following chain of events was the word chaos.

The pretty lady started spray some perfume while she warned him to stay back. Obviously her perfume wasn't just perfume as it set her friend's ear on fire and her friend wasn't human himself by the looks of things.

"Oh my God! Angel! I'm sorry!" She yelled and tried to put the small flames out by batting the man's ear with her hand.

"Damnit, Cordelia!" Angel snarled as he hissed when he tried to save his own ear from being burned.

AC didn't bat an eye at the man's change of face and hurried past to focus on the water cooler, using his ability to make it as icy as possible. Cracking ice sounded and he picked it up, and poured the entire lot over the man, instantly putting out the little fire.

Then he found himself being glared at by two ochre eyes and again AC might have been intimidated if he was anyone other than himself. "You okay, dude?"

"Was that really necessary?"

The swimmer pulled a face. "I may have gone overboard with chilling of the H20. Sorry."

Angel stared at him before he turned to Cordelia, who offered up her most innocent smile. "Holy water, Cordelia? In a perfume bottle?"

The brunette reached to her desk. "Tissue?"

Angel rubbed the bridge of nose and kept glaring. "Holy water?"

"Well excuse me." She replied, voice dripping with the same venom AC heard earlier. "Not all of us have the luxury of super strength and fangs."

Angel simply shook his head. "I'm going to get changed. You need me, I'm just downstairs."

Cordelia nodded. "Sorry for, you know, setting you on fire and everything."

AC chuckled at the expression she received before her friend went down to change. He waited a moment or two until he couldn't hear footsteps. Good. This way, it wouldn't be so embarrassing to get shot down in flames when she rejected him.

"You known each other long?"

She remained silent.

Amusement shone in his green eyes. "You weren't so quiet a few minutes ago. Why the hush?"

"You didn't do anything."

Confusion replaced the amusement. "Huh?"

Hazel eyes rolled. "When Angel was on fire. You didn't do anything."

AC's brows arched. "I put him out!"

"Not that, dumbass. You didn't do anything when he went all grr." Her hands mimicked claws as she growled.

"Oh, you mean his face?"

"No, I mean his hair. Of course I mean his face! You didn't freak out or run screaming like a little girl. Seriously, why are all the good ones not human? Well, which one are you?"

Arthur thought she meant which League member and usually saying his identity was a big no-no, but this wasn't usual. Since he was no Clark Kent and all about the secrecy, he saw no reason to hide himself behind a bent truth.

Besides, she had visions, so what if she saw truth and yelled at him for lying? "Arthur Curry or AC..." And since there didn't seem to be any need for secret identities. "Aquaman and you're Cordy."

She stared at him in silence for a moment before she blinked. "Aquaman? That's the best you could come up with? I would've gone for Waterboy if you were more Adam Sandlerish, but it's your call."

"Boy?" AC asked, every fibre of his masculine essence completely affronted. "Boy?"

"I said it was your call. You didn't have to focus on boy. Geez."

He went to say something to that, but decided against it. "Listen. My friends and I are going out to dinner later. I can take a friend, so..." He let the sentence drift off so he could give her his most charming smile.

"Why? Your crude entourage need a punching bag for their disrespectful vitriol? Cos if so, then please let the door hit your ass, which is pretty tight if you don't mind my saying."

AC beamed as he looked over his shoulder to see his ass. "You think? I've always been a bit self-conscious about it. I swim and all, but... You don't think it's a bit misshapen?"

Cordelia pursed her lips. "Turn around. If there's anyone who can tell an out of balance ass, it's me. Hell knows I've been staring at Angel's for the last six months."

"You stare at your friend's butt?"

"Like I have a choice! I talk and he walks away. He never listens to me, even when it's for his own good."

"I heard that." Came a voice from down stairs.

"And you should hear me more often."

There was a pause. "My ass isn't out of balance, is it?"

AC hid his grin when Cordelia smiled indulgently. "No, Angel. Your ass is perfect just the way it is. Well, as far as perfect can be with your circumstances. I mean, how perfect can an ass be when you get it kicked all the time?"

"Do you want your ass kicked, Cordelia?"

Arthur wiped his growing smirk away when her hazel eyes widened at the threat. "No..."

"Then leave mine alone."

She nodded. "Leaving it completely alone, but just so you know. Next time you get a splinter in it, I won't be around to pull it out."

AC couldn't help himself. "Dude, you got a splinter in your ass?"

"It wasn't a splinter."

The swimmer openly laughed. "I feel your pain. I got the tooth of a Greenland shark stuck in my big toe."

Another pause came from downstairs. "I have nothing to say to that."

AC caught the look of disbelief on the brunette's pretty face and grinned sheepishly. "Greenlands are almost blind."

"So it was your fault?" She asked, but didn't give him a chance to reply. "And is that what you are? Some kinda fish demon?"

He chuckled at the undisguised fascination that filled her voice. "Nah, just plain ol AC."

Her lips curled up. "Sure you are and since water's your deal, you can clean up."

AC's first reaction was to deny he should clean up the water on the floor, but a quickly formed plan lit the bulb above his head and he looked at her in calculation. "I'll clean up if you come with me to dinner."

A perfectly shaped eyebrow arched. "And thus the reason behind your singleton lifestyle. Blackmail isn't a good look for anyone."

"Is that a yes?"

She paused as she thoughtfully looked him over, her lips pursed and right foot tapped. "Will I have to pay?"

AC chuckled heartily and shook his head. "No-one pays for dinner when Oliver takes us out." He frowned in confusion. "I don't even think Ollie pays. Weird."

"So that was Oliver Queen." Cordelia mused. "And the none rude blonde would be The Mystery Blonde, am I right? What am I asking? Of course I'm right. Oliver Queen would never intimately associate himself with the other blonde."

He sighed. "That's kinda the reason my friends are hoping you come I to dinner. They didn't exactly give the best of impressions and you don't understand Bart. Hell, I don't understand Bart and how the hell he got a girlfriend when I've been single for over year is nobody's guess."

"Here I thought I was desperate." She rolled her eyes. "Look, Waterboy..."

"AquaMAN."

"Whatever. I've been around enough to know there's no excuse for having no manners. I was clearly having a crisis and having my chest questioned as exhibit A. No offence, but those sort of people? Not really my thing."

Arthur again shook his head. "No, you really don't understand. Bart Allen? He's... Special."

"He's certainly that."

"That's true." AC grumbled, but then got back to his point. "You say you've been around... And I didn't mean that the way it came out, but you've had experience. Bart is..." How could he say it without giving up a story that wasn't his to tell?

"He can't help it?" Cordelia offered up. "I get it. Believe me, but that still doesn't excuse the crude. Sure, I don't do tact, but I can control myself."

A laugh came from downstairs.

A following laugh came from AC. "Says the woman who frenched me in the street."

"I was having a crisis!"

He grinned. "And crisis brings desperation, which I said I can live with. I heard you when I was outside shamelessly eavesdropping. Something about you having visions. What about the visions caused you to fight tongue and tonsil?"

"Vision and that better be singular, you hear me, Doyle? One more and I'm coming after you. Well, that's if I could..."

Arthur watched her expression turn sad and a sense of sympathy welled up in his chest. This Doyle person had obviously been important to her and since she was threatening the ceiling, it didn't take a genius to figure out what happened.

He keenly felt for her loss, having only recently lost a good friend himself. Carter Hall was a big miss for all of them, Courtney in particular, and even though Ollie wouldn't admit it, AC knew the loss of Carter was great.

"You must miss him." AC stated quietly and kindly.

"Oh, please. Doyle was detrimental to my equilibrium."

The swimmer's lips twitched. "I don't believe that for a second. You'll have to tell me about him someday."

AC figured he must have said something right when he received a soft sort of smile in response. "Maybe over lunch tomorrow? It's good to have a friend when times get tough."

"So you're not sniffing for more?"

"I totally am, but that doesn't mean we can't also be friends, right? That's how all the great relationships start. You know, Marge and Homer, Fred and Wilma, George and Judy."

"Cos they're the aspiration for all marital bliss."

AC beamed. "Exactly."

Hazel eyes rolled, but a sparkle of humour belied her derision. "You're such a goofball."

"Well, that's better than boy. I'll take it."

"You'll take what you're given."

Man, she was a feisty little woman. A life with her wouldn't be dull at all and he liked it. "Which is?"

"We'll see."

She looked him over again and this time AC puffed up his chest then flexed. After all, the best displayed peacocks got the prettiest hens.

Cordelia kept her knowing smirk to herself. "Yeah, you're a real Homer."

He was about to reply when Angel rejoined them.

XXX

After current events in their life, Angel would be the first to acknowledge he'd become somewhat overprotective of Cordelia and the arrival of the male upstairs set him on edge. Not that there was anything seemingly dangerous about him, because if there was, a neck woulda been snapped in seconds, yet there was something... Not quite right.

So he stayed down stairs longer than necessary and employed his hearing to eavesdrop on not just the conversation, but also on Cordelia and the boy. He heard the distinct change in heart rate when Doyle's name came up and then the genuine sympathy as the boy consoled Cordelia without actually doing it.

That impressed Angel.

Cordelia Chase may often demand him to show his feelings, but she didn't practice what she preached and the boy had easily read between the lines of her words. Something a lot of people had a tendency to do, himself included.

In all his years as both a human and vampire, he'd never come across anyone so contradictory as that Arthur Curry as the boy called himself. Not human, not demon and the boy's very self was about preservation of life. For a start, the boy was vegetarian and not just that, but there were the smells.

The oddest combination of salt, water, and actually salt water. All were so wound together it took a while to understand what it meant. He listened when the boy stated both his name and what sounded to be a codename of some sort.

Aquaman.

Cordy was right. Couldn't anything better be found?

The vampire's lips quirked up.

Cordy would probably say the same about his name, too.

Angel switched his focus from his only friend to the boy and was once again disconcerted by the contradiction. Sure all humans were seventy percent water, but the boy wasn't just seventy percent water. It seemed that water made up the boy as a whole, which was the contradiction because there was some humanity in there.

The vampire had an overwhelming urge to call Rupert Giles to see if the man knew anything about what could only be known as a none-human-none-demon. Since the Watcher's undisguised hate of him, Angel figured he was liable to receive a sarcastic lecture that would end up misconstrued as an attempt to contact Buffy.

Angel rubbed the bridge of his nose.

Buffy meant a lot to him, but despite popular theory, she wasn't the be all and end all of his existence. He had lived a life prior to her and he would live long after her, something Buffy didn't want to acknowledge.

For all the slayer's faults, Angel knew he couldn't turn away and that thought brought a chuckle from his lips as he thought about Cordy would say.

Car crash, Angel. Want to look away, but can't.

Thinking of Cordelia quickly snapped Angel out of his thoughts and back to the humans... No. Not humans.

Friend.

He went back to his friend who was alone with an Unknown Quantity who appeared to be asking for a lifetime commitment.

Though Cordelia Chase was no naive debutante, she was still vulnerable and he would be damned if some tight assed dude walked in and took advantage.

He walked up the stairs with a jog that provided deliberate heavy foot steps to announce his presence.

"Yeah, you're a real Homer." Cordelia remarked and Angel had enough life experience that helped him keep a straight face.

He watched the boy go to reply, but pause on seeing him. "You two carry on. I'll be in the office." Angel said and then took the opportunity to get one over on his only friend. "And Cordy, don't let me find you necking against the file cabinet."

The boy rose in estimation with the hearty, genuine laughter that came when Cordelia exclaimed her indignation at being accused of such a thing

"Necking? I'll show you necking. I'll neck the next frog who walks through that door, just you watch."

Angel inwardly chuckled at the challenging expression on the boy's face.

"Bet he won't be as good as me."

"You just keep telling yourself that, Waterboy."

"Hey, you gave me no time to prepare."

"So that wasn't your best effort? Good to know."

Angel feigned a cough and was about to say something when the door chime jingled, a noise which made Cordelia express triumph as she moved toward it.

Neither AC nor Angel could stop Cordelia Chase from grabbing and kissing the demon who entered Angel Investigations.

"Cor..." Angel began, his eyebrows raised.

"Delia?" AC finished, torn between amusement and jealousy.

"Boy." The demon breathed, his eyes on the brunette in a way that raised the hackles of both the vampire and the swimmer. "I gotta say I like the way you people treat your clients."

The girl in question pulled away from the demon. "Maybe not this frog." She muttered, before she used her sleeve to wipe her mouth. "Pttooeey! Pttooeey!" Were the noises that came as she continued to clean her lips.

The vampire watched the Unknown grab a tissue and hand it to Cordelia.

"Thanks."

"Now what were you saying about necking?" Angel received a larger than life grin from AC and the vampire had to hide his own reaction.

Cordelia sneered at the boy before she continued to wiped her lips. "Grossness."

"Uh-huh." The Unknown said with an air of smugness. "I didn't get grossness. I got a coupla sweet little..."

"I think we have a client." Angel cut the boy off before action was forced to be taken and the boy's neck had to be snapped.

"Are you paying?" Cordelia asked as she made to walk to her desk, but an arm prevented her.

"Yeah." AC joined in as he tightened his grip on the brunette. "Are you paying?"

The vampire's only reaction was to smile a very unnerving smile. "Of course he's paying, aren't you?" He said in a way that meant payment for services rendered would be had.

The demon nodded. "I always pay my due. Sure I'm evil, but not you know, evil. Everybody's gotta eat, right?"

"Then we'll talk. Come in."

Cordelia rolled her eyes and shot AC a look complete with a pout. "This is the secretary's cue to make coffee."

"That would be nice." Angel levelled his friend and her new boy toy with a single glare. "It'd also be nice if you cleaned up and replaced the water so you can actually make the coffee."

She automatically pointed to AC. "He can do the mopping."

XXX

Okay, Cordelia was not getting on at all well. There was something afoot and she couldn't just feel it, she could smell it.

For a start Angel, the almighty unflappable vampire who showed no mercy and took no prisoners, was offering friendship of the BFF variety to AC. AC was happily accepting it and it was totally sickening in a weirdly cute bromancey sorta way.

Come to think of it, AC might actually be good for Angel. Since Doyle died, Angel had been acting more broody and mopey than usual. AC seemed to be Mr. Happy Go Lucky and with a little luck, that might rub off on her moody boss. After all, what could be worse than dealing with a perpetual case of PMS?

Not just that, but if they became friends, then Angel would be less likely to embarrass her by giving the Spanish Inquisition or something. That time with Pierce had been sooo humiliating...

Okay, so Angel might have had a point there. Pierce had been a big ol bore and had run, screeching, when that vampire jumped out on her. She'd never looked at pigs and beans in the same way after that.

Cordelia stole a glance at AC and Angel, and nodded her approval as she filled three cups of coffee and one glass of water. She looked in Angel's fridge for a lemon or something, but to her consternation found only bags of blood, the milk, and a few bits of food.

That vampire was sadly lacking in entertaining skills. No matter how hard she tried, nothing ever seemed to sink in.

He simply couldn't go on living the way he did. It wasn't right and it made her sad that he was so used to being alone, that he thought anybody would willingly spend time with him. Sure it might be wishful thinking on Angel's side, but she'd be damned if he was gonna spend the rest of his existence as a lonely soul.

At least when Doyle was there, Angel had somebody, even if it was a half demon who celebrated the opening of a mail box with a drink down at the pub.

Angel, she thought to herself, we totally have to talk about this.

Maybe he would perk up now if AC was gonna stick around.

"I don't think you gotta worry."

Cordelia heard Barney say. When neither AC or Angel responded, she turned to the demon. "I'm sorry, what?"

Barney looked apologetic. "I couldn't help but notice. I don't think you gotta worry about this guy. He's pretty sweet on you. I can tell."

"Can you?" AC stared at the demon.

Barney nodded. "I'm an empathic. I read emotions..."

"I know what an empath is. I didn't give you permission to read me or my feelings."

Angel narrowed his eyes. "Something to hide, Arthur?"

"Not at all." AC replied easily. "Read away."

Barney held up his hands in submission. "No way. I already got one maniac on my tail, I don't need another."

Cordelia moved quickly to stop any bloodshed and violence. "So what's the skinny?" She asked as she handed on cup of coffee to Angel, who drank half in a single gulp. "You'd think after all these years you'd know how to swallow."

The demon smiled winningly as he got his refreshment. "There's this guy. He's a machine. Totally unstoppable. Been following me since Phoenix and like I said. I'm evil, but not evil evil. That's why I read without permission. I don't think, I do."

AC nodded once in acceptance and encouraged Barney to continue. "This guy even knows where I live. A guy like me has to keep under the radar, you know what I'm saying? But he knows."

"Sounds like this guy's really gunning for you, man." The swimmer stated, not convinced by the tale of woe whatsoever. Maybe it was the fact Barney read without asking and while that could be explained as the demon said, AC just didn't trust him at all.

Angel agreed. "The pursuer usually has a stronger grievance than the pursuit."

"Take me for instance." Cordelia interrupted as she held the glass of water to AC. "Take one chilled beverage like so and go to get something like a lemon or a lime, only to discover somebody didn't go grocery shopping. This then leaves the stunning hostess needing to deliver an apology."

This time, Angel didn't bother to hide eye roll when she looked at Arthur. "My boss hasn't gone grocery shopping in forever, so you'll have to make do."

The vampire arched a brow. "Nice apology, Cordy."

She beamed. "Wasn't it?"

AC chuckled. "Don't worry about it. Water's fine all by itself. Too much additives can ruin the natural refreshing taste of H2O." He took a good, long drink to prove his point and set the glass down with a hearty ahhh.

"Wow, you really do have it on for her." Barney stated as he stared at the meta-human with wide eyes.

Cordelia instantly turned on the demon. "Enough with the crude already. Can't a waterboy show his appreciation with a shred of decency? What's the world coming to, I ask."

"It's man!"

After already hearing this conversation, Angel took the opportunity to end it before it began again. He swallowed the rest of his coffee. "I'll go check out your apartment. See what I can find. Cordy, concentrate on your vision."

"You think the blobby thing is the machine?" She asked.

The vampire nodded. "Could be." He looked at AC. "You, stay here."

Arthur gave a swift salute, pleased Cordelia's boss turned to him to protect her and not the demon. "Understood."

"Good. Barney, think of as much information as possible. If the... Blobby thing is after you, then it's a very dangerous... Blobby thing."

The demon nodded. "Maybe I can help with the vision. After all, it's the least I can do. Well, if the meta-human trusts me to read his sweetheart, which I don't think he does."

Angel didn't even blink as he put his jacket on. "I don't trust either of you. Cordy, I've got my cell on. Call me if you need me."

Then he was gone.