Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited, etc. My apologies for not saying this before; I apparently need a lesson in Fan Fiction etiquette.

Disclaimer: don't own

Ignatius Cox was a retired security expert, meaning his rather unassuming family home was wired up like Fort Knox.

"Okay," Robin began, "I've got a plan for how we can sneak in and avoid detection. First we need to – "

"Do we really need to avoid detection if we're coming to save the day?" Kid Flash interrupted. "So what if the police are alerted? We're going to call them anyway!"

Robin was glad Batman wasn't around to hear this. "Kid Flash, that's not how it's done. No finesse. So what we need to do is – "

"You have some gadget that will hack security codes?"

"Yes, of course."

"Then I'll run us right next to the box, you type in the code and – presto! – we're in."

"Oh, please, that's the lazy man's way out! That's like Superman copping out and just sizzling the alarm away with his x-ray vision. It takes no skill!"

"Hmm, sizzling an alarm. That I'd like to see."

"This calls for strategy, Kid Flash. I have a plan."

"No, we're doing it my way."

"It's my city. And I invited you to help!"

"Well, age and beauty before ..." Wally frowned. That obviously hadn't been the best phrase to manipulate. Now he was just going to sound ridiculous. "Before... you?"

Robin snorted. "That'd be like swine going before pearls."

"Ha, ha." Wally said dryly. He needed to pull out the big guns. "If we don't do it my way, I'll tell Batman you ate some of M'gann's cookies last week, even after he specifically told you no more sugar."

Robin looked offended. "Duuuuude. So not cool! That puts the b in betrayal."

Wally pulled himself up to his full height. "You wouldn't have this problem if you showed your guests proper respect."

"I'm completely whelmed by your generosity." Dick sighed and awkwardly lifted up his arms, signaling (like a small child does) that he was willing to be picked up. "Make this quick."

After dashing into the house, the two discovered that the Riddler had already disabled the alarm (prompting a "duh!" moment for both of them).

"How did he know the code?" Robin hissed, angry he hadn't guessed that Riddler would have already disabled the alarm.

"It's called doing your homework, my pint-sized vigilante," the Riddler replied a few feet away.

"I prefer travel sized, thank you," Robin shot back.

"Or trial size," Kid Flash quipped. "That way we aren't stuck with a whole bunch of you if we don't like the product."

"Well, I'm beginning to weary of both of you," Riddler noted. And without further ado, he tossed down a firecracker that erupted into blinding light.

As Kid Flash and Robin staggered backwards, the Riddler's remaining goons came charging through the clearing smoke. One went straight for Robin, while the other attacked Kid Flash.

"Aaarrgggghh," Kid Flash growled, sounding like a cross between a pirate and a stuck pig. Darting out of the way, Kid Flash ran circles around the thug, making the man dizzy. One quick shove and the man fell heavily to the floor. Kid Flash quite chivalrously allowed him to get back on his feet before he proceeded to kick and punch him to defeat. When the goon obligingly fell a second time, Kid Flash deftly tied him up with an extension cord he had found at the scene. One down.

Robin, meanwhile, was tiring his opponent out. Just when the goon thought he was close enough to land a punch or a kick, Robin would back flip out of reach again. A couple of times, though, the acrobat's aim was "off" and he ended up kicking the thug in the face as he flipped away. Accidents happen, you know.

After several flips had gone astray, Robin could tell his opponent was becoming exceedingly angry, and with great anger came great sloppiness. All he had to do was wait for an opening...

And there it was. As the goon let lose a particularly ill-aimed punch, Robin sprang forward, grabbed the guy's arm, and twisted them both through the air in a forward flip. Since the guy was neither expecting this move nor prepared for it, he didn't move his body correctly (just as Robin had intended), and a rather sickening sound ensued as he dislocated a shoulder.

Kid Flash looked over from where he was trussing up the other thug. "I've heard of breaking a leg in a performance, but that's just ridiculous."

"Oh, please, it's just dislocated. It's easily fixed." And with that, Robin reached down and popped the villain's shoulder back into the socket.

The man screamed and writhed in pain on the floor. Robin calmly reached down and put some Batcuffs/Robincuffs around his ankles, just to be sure he wouldn't get away before the police came.

"Relax, buddy," Kid Flash attempted (not very successfully) to soothe the thug. "He was just trying to give you a hand."

"More like an arm," Robin quipped.

With their two opponents otherwise engaged, Kid Flash and Robin moved away, back towards the part of the house in which they had first seen the Riddler. Not surprisingly, he had already made his escape.

"Great," Kid Flash muttered. "He used those goons as sacrificial lambs. He was probably out the door as soon as he threw that firecracker."

"Yeah, he knew we'd take care of those thugs, so he decided to cut and run."

"Well, we'll smoke him out and bring him to justice."

"Just as soon as we find his riddle."

They were now standing in front of the kitchen door.

"I sense a trap," Kid Flash stated.

"No duh."

"Well, throw one of your little boomerang thingies in there to double check."

"Boomerang thingies?" Robin queried in disgust. With a sigh and a sad shake of his head, he tossed a Robin-rang into the kitchen. The 'rang obligingly tripped the Riddler's trigger, and a cake, which had been positioned in the center of the table, exploded, sending pastry, frosting, and a riddle flying.

"Holy happy birthday," Robin murmured, not even fully conscious he was reverting back to childhood habits.

"That's putting the icing on the cake-per," Kid Flash added.

Gingerly picking their way around the dessert-bespeckled kitchen, the two maneuvered into the far corner to retrieve the riddle. Robin bent down to pick it up, and, brushing some cake off the outside, noticed the riddle was shorter than the previous ones. It was also in a different writing style. This one was a Riddler original. Quickly, Robin read the enclosed doggerel:

'I want to take a hostage

Some sterling for to gain

His surname implies he's worth less

But he gave geld to Danes.'

"Oh, shit," Robin said. "He's going to kidnap Alfred."

"What! You mean we could have stayed at the Manor and waited for the Riddler to come to us?"

Robin sighed. "I think you're missing the point here."

"Are you sure it's Alfred?" Kid Flash realized this was probably a dumb question as Robin had been dealing with the Riddler for years. He wasn't too likely to majorly screw up a riddle.

"Yes, here." Robin handed the paper to Kid Flash.

He quickly read the riddle. "It's Alfred all right. But this –'' he held up the paper – "is why I love Riddler."

"Because he's kidnapping Alfred?"

"No, because he writes awesome riddles."

"You just like it because it appeals to your sick sense of humor."

Kid Flash rolled his eyes. "Hey, credit where credit is due. He may be an archvillain, but he is one good riddle-writer. So, ready to go?"

Robin looked like he was coming out of a daze. "Kid Flash, I know what his plan is."

"Yeah, to kidnap Alfred! We already figured that one out, buddy."

"No, after that. He wants to steal the Alfred jewel."

"Alfred jewel?"

"It's a gold and quartz object dating from the reign of, maybe even made for, Alfred the Great, king of England. It's in the Ashmolean Museum in Oxford."

Kid Flash gave Robin a "you-are-some-kind-of-nerd" look. "How do you even know this?"

"What?" Robin pouted slightly. "Batman makes me read books about all kinds of things. You might try it sometime."

"Yeah, I don't know. I'm kinda busy fending off all the babes from school. Everyone wants a piece of the Wall-man."

Dick just sighed and dropped his face into his hand. Sometimes Wally was a bit too much.

Wally, to his credit, sensed it was time to get back to business. "So, Riddler's just kidnapping Alfred for money? To finance his trip abroad?"

"I guess. And because Alfred has the same name as the jewel."

Wally rubbed his chin in thought. "So the key from the bank must open the case containing the jewel, the map of Oxford will help him get around, and the security codes for the Ashmolean must be in that packet he stole!"

"Yeah, and the riddles even match up. He stole a key when we had a key riddle, a map of Oxford – or Oxenford (the town's original name) – when we had an ox riddle, and he stole codes for the Ashmolean from a guy whose first name is derived from the Latin for fire. Man, he's good!"

"I second that!" Kid Flash declared. "He is one lean, mean, riddle-writing machine. I bet he could out riddle even – "

"Can we please go save Alfred now?" Robin chirped, interrupting Wally's homage to the Riddler.

"Oh, right, yeah. Wayne Manor coming up!"

I hope the explanation of the riddles was not too tedious.