In which Madara decides to become useful and fails (mostly).

15-11-11

The last thing Naruto heard about Sasuke before the latter's apparent demise was that he had been admitted to the inner circle of Akatsuki after finally managing to kill his brother. At the time he had been bewildered, even shocked. First Sasuke manages to off Itachi, then he joins the same organization that housed his most hated enemy? It was too unbelievable.

Months later there was nothing to confirm or disprove Sasuke's supposed entrance in the most evil club in all of the elemental countries and the Akatsuki invasion to Konoka didn't help matters because Naruto had been a tad too distracted to ask his dying enemy-turned-ally if he'd seen any young Uchihas in their cave or wherever they spend their time plotting. Until they caught Karin.

She was in quite a good shape and apparently she had been looking for the last Uchiha who according to her had been missing for about a month.

Karin insisted that team Hebi wasn't actually Akatsuki but members of a circle of younger shinobi, affiliated to them, that had the double purpose of training (or testing?) potential members and taking missions as mercenaries -all world dominations needed able mooks after all-. Which was close enough to what Konoha knew already. Okay Sasuke wasn't wearing a gay ring and he didn't use nail polish yet but apparently he was planning to. The catch was Karin hadn't really seen Sasuke for a long time even before he went missing. She was on a number of missions for Akai and hadn't taken whiff of his absence because no one told her. So of course she immediately abandoned the group to search for Sasuke.

Until Konoha caught her that is 'cause after that she was to spend a nice lifetime in the less pleasant underground facilities of Hidden Leaf.

That deterred the Hokage from making Sasuke an official missing nin, although he might still have done it if it wasn't for Naruto's annoying whining that as of late had been using more reasonable arguments than "believe it!".

Then Naruto's resources (or actually Jiraya's former resources) found out that this inner circle was an Ame organization not a Akatsuki one. Which prompted Naruto to make a social visit to Konan, who was now the official leader of Amegakure, and inquire about the situation on the side.

What Konoha found out was even more baffling.

Ame had recruited Sasuke and team Hebi on the insistence of Uchiha Madara (!) one of the founders of Konoha. Which brought forth the question "What the fuck did Madara have to do with all this? (And how the fuck was he still alive?)". The revelation that he was the founder of Akatsuki made things even more complicated. Konan apologized profusely and made Naruto promise that he would come back for a more pleasant visit.

But on the subject of Uchiha Sasuke, Konan could only give little information. He came, he trained a little on Ame techniques, caused lots of thunderstorms in the process, took a few missions and then was proclaimed dead on duty when he didn't return from a mission to the Land of Waves.

Naruto didn't know what he preferred to believe. The rest of the rookie nine were relieved. Sakura's reaction was to cry a little, then get drunk and finally ramble about the fatality of life and where do we all go and who cares anyway. Kakashi's was to indulge in too much paperwork and still be even more late than usual in delivering it. Sai gave Naruto his sympathy by advising him not to get too depressed because that might result in his miniscule dick falling off. That made no sense but Naruto had to admit that punching Sai made him feel a tiny bit better.

Naruto knew intellectually that Sasuke being dead solved a lot of Konoha's problems. They didn't have to worry about declaring him an international criminal, they didn't have to waste any money on searching for him, and they could finally ransack that huge ass Uchiha district. Emotionally Naruto felt devastated, but above all directionless. What was he supposed to do now that Sasuke wasn't around to strive to bring back?

There was an answer of course. Naruto's goal hadn't always revolved around vengeful assholes.

Uchiha Sasuke's name didn't come up again for a long time.

When the Uchiha name was uttered it was always directed towards the elder, who had proved to be quite the thorn in the back. So it was fitting that it was him who brought Sasuke back to Naruto's mind.

The ANBU had battled, or tried battling, Madara for quite a while, when it had become apparent that Madara was through with humoring them. It appeared that Madara's times-space warping powers could be used only defensibly because he never attacked lethally. It was then that Madara chose to speak.

"I know that the Informer is here, Konoha dogs!" he cackled perched on a tree branch. "And because I like to think of the enemy of my enemy as my friend I have an interesting bit of information for him!"

Boar didn't react in any way but everyone in the unit knew it was him the Akatsuki leader meant. Cat stepped forward. "What information do you speak of Uchiha?"

Madara turned to the robed and masked Cat. "The Yuuyake." he proclaimed loudly, amusement lacing the word.

Cat tilted his head to the side in bemusement. "What?"

Madara smiled behind his own mask. "The Yuuyake. The Sunset. Look it up!" he said before he disappeared in an orange vortex.

The ANBU stiffened for a moment.

"Clear!" the tracker in the group, Fox, proclaimed. They all visibly relaxed.

"What the fuck was that?" Cat grumbled opening his pack to reach for bandages.

Boar shrugged. "I have no idea. He said it's his enemy though. Maybe I should look into it."

"Or maybe it's a trap." Wolf piped up from where she was gathering thrown weapons from the ground as Cat grumbled under his breath that every freaking citizen of the elemental countries was Madara's enemy.

"I'll be careful, you don't have to stay sleepless at night thinking about me, Wolf." Boar leered at her and then smoothly dodged the kunai she threw at him.

"She's right though," Groundhog, the medic, noted from where he was healing Toad's injuries. "Don't be reckless about it."

"Does the name remind of Akatsuki only to me?" Fox said as he helped Cat. Boar turned surprised.

"How come?" he asked.

"Well," he deliberated. "Akatsuki, dawn. Yuuyake, sunset?"

Everyone thought about that as they continued to prepare to leave.

"You don't think it's a new branch of them, do you?" Wolf whispered. They all heard her.

"No, Madara wouldn't have been that cryptic in that case. He likes to boast. Or he wouldn't mention it at all." Boar reassured her. "But if you're afraid I can sleep by your-." Boar smoothly dodged the wakizashi Fox sent his way. "Hey, hey, I'm just kidding!"

Fox ignored him. Wolf gave him a glare potent enough for him to feel the "serves you right" vibes though the ANBU mask. Boar laughed.

"Okay, let's go." Boar said.

It turned out that the Yuuyake wasn't an actual criminal organization. Or at least they didn't advertise themselves as such. Of course that didn't mean anything, because they didn't advertise themselves in general.

According to Fumio-chan of Kawa Country it was a group of entertainers who moved from village to village and performed for money. Tanaka-san of Hoshi said that it was a trio of shinobi who gave information for information. Chiba-san of Kaze had the impression they were a troupe of mercenaries for hire. And so on and so forth.

One was the link to all these descriptions. The group always appeared in unassuming places, like bars and food booths. And they always had interesting things to say to anyone close enough to hear.

If Naruto had heard of it before he would have thought it was a couple of missing nin gossiping in their free time. But after Madara's ominous proclamation all guesses were in limbo, with no assumptions sufficient enough. Naruto had to see for himself.

But not before he had as much information as possible. He couldn't be reckless after promising not to be after all. Regardless of the fact that the Hokage himself had given him the stink one-eye about it.

Originally the reason Naruto became the Informer for Hidden Leaf (resources inherited by Jiraya nonwithstanding) was that he could surreptitiously blend in every possible crowd thanks to his repertoire of Henge genjutsu-turned-ninjutsu techniques, all made by Naruto himself, thankyouverymuch. It really was nothing short of genius to make such a perfect disguise that even the Hokage himself could be fooled. It was the series of Uzumaki made-techniques that Naruto liked least though, the reason being that no one seemed to be able to forget the original jutsu.

Which coincidentally was called sexy-no-jutsu.

Since then Naruto gave his techniques more respectable names but the blind-eye-Henge still made his subordinates chortle behind their masks and whisper to each other about the 'hent-eye-Henge'.

Which was completely unfair in Naruto's opinion(which no one asked by the way). Where was the understanding? Hadn't they been twelve and hormonal once too?

That was also the original reason that Naruto kept his role as the informer secret(the Hokage ordering it helped though). Later he had other reasons as well -like people trying to murder him for information- instead of just embarrassment.

Because perverted techniques aside, Naruto was damn good at what he did. He had been taught by the best.

"So Dake-san, Dake-san, how is it up there in Taki no Kuni? My sister says they were all brutes up there." Umi winked playfully and fluttered her eyelashes. "Sexy brutes though."

The man blushed like only a hulking mass of muscle the size of a small hill could. The Umi-form was really pretty. Bluish black hair, petite body and flirtatious with everyone, she made men twice her size nosebleed regularly.

Tonari Dake: missing-nin from Grass, grade of ability chuunin at the most, currently a successful bodyguard for hire. And one of Naruto's favorite ignorant informants if only because he was so easy to tease due to his being partial to Naruto's Umi-form tits.

"Umi-neesan! Stop making Dake-san that red! He'll explode!" Dake's young protege, Ginjo chirped as he slurped his ramen.

Dake's face flushed even more, reminding Naruto of Hi no Kuni flags.

"Oh, I wouldn't call ;m sexy. But 'ey weren't that barbaric either. An' a little exploding would do Dake some good." Dake's young foreigner wife, whom everyone called Trim, hardly older than sixteen, groused as she took another sip of her sake. She was an endless pit, underage or not.

"So, who was this rich person who took away our Dake-san for so long?" Naruto asked winking at Trim and Ginjo covertly.

"Oh, it was a merchant! A black-market one, no doubt about it. He took me to some really shady places if you know what I mean..." Dake took the opportunity to change the subject like a drowning man.

"Shady places?" Naruto asked curiously. "What sort of shady places? Shadier than this?" he asked gesturing to the bar.

It was indeed a very dingy place, in the bad parts of the little town they were in. Everyone stared suspiciously at their own shadow here, and they were completely justified to as well seeing as ninja liked shadows like normal people liked food. But this place was also the only place in which Dake could find employment.

"Well, the people were very shady. Full of shinobi armed to the teeth. I felt completely useless! If those people decided that my client was too dangerous or too annoying -which he was by the way- I couldn't have done anything to stop them!"

Dake had never revealed to Umi that he was an ex-Grass nin and he generally never said anything about ninjas in his gigs. The fact that he mentioned it now meant that he could have been completely overpowered in a battle situation. And because Dake was a prideful man as well, that meant jounin level ninja and above.

"What was a stupid black market merchant doing with so many knife-happy people?" Naruto asked surprised as if it was an actually legitimate question.

"He was asking for information on his rivals. Everyone was asking for information actually. And everyone was giving answers, just like that. It was weird. And everyone was suspicious of each other. I'm glad for that least. I was able to come back to me wife and kiddo." he said and hugged Trim making her look even more tiny than before. She grumbled and pushed him away.

"Yer an idiot Dake. I asked around for 'ose suspicious shinobi and 'ey say 'ey are peaceful folk. No fight ever in their business."

"What?" Dake exclaimed. Naruto giggled charmingly bringing a delicate hand to his mouth to hide his interest.

"Yeah, yeah!" Ginjo piped up. "I helped an old lady carry her stuff and she was saying that the people who organize these stuff with the ninjas and stuff keep everything in control 'cuz they are super special awesome ninjas!"

Umi scrunched her nose. "But what were they organizing? Black market information sharing?"

"Yer stupid Umi. Information is more valuable than gold fer shinobi." Trim drawled and scrunched her nose -she didn't like shinobi-. Naruto didn't pause to ponder the irony of having such critique thrown at him.

"Yeah, yeah! The old lady said you could buy secrets! Any secret!" Ginjo laughed and asked for another plate of ramen.

"But the shinobi there, are they all rogues? So this is like, a villainous lair?" Naruto asked feigning enthusiasm perfectly, his eyes glinting with intrigue.

"No, it wasn't." Dake said recovered from the initial shock that his wife and student knew more about his client's associates than himself. "It a was perfectly nice teashop. Except for the bunch of dangerous criminals..."

"The locals don't say nothing 'cause the organizers are perfect law abideng citizens app'rently." Trim said before gulping the last of the sake and burping loudly.

"Law abiding citizens who meet with shady nuke nin and black market people?" Naruto smiled.

"Don' ask me, Umi. If the locals like 'em, there must be a reason, right?"

"Must be." Umi admitted indifferently. On the inside though Naruto was cheering. Gotcha Yuuyake weirdos!

"Well, it's not unheard of for missing nin to form alliances. Or groups for that matter."

"Like Akatsuki?" Sakura asked sarcastically from her perch on the window sill.

"Yeah, that's a good example. A very successful one too." Kakashi continued undeterred. "It also illustrates the point I wish to make. This is potentially dangerous. I don't understand how it could turn out to be dangerous for Madara but it definitely could be a threat for us."

"You still don't get it. That's the problem. This isn't a big group. The missing nin aren't the core of this group. They attend these, uh, gatherings, but so do merchants, common criminals, other common scum and simple citizens. It's either bigger or smaller than we think. We have to find out who the big heads are!" Naruto exclaimed waving his arms around exasperated.

"So some infiltration is in order, huh?" Tsunade said amused.

Kakashi sighed and nodded wearily. "I really don't like this. Isn't one secret criminal organization enough?"

"Well, it could be worse." Tsunade tried to comfort him. It would have worked if she wasn't so obviously gleeful it wasn't her still sitting behind the large mahogany desk. "They could be after us. As it is, it seems they aren't after anything. Maybe Madara, if he's worried, but that's not bad, right?"

Kakashi scowled at her helplessly, then turned to Naruto.

"So, it's time to face this head on. Infiltration it is."

Naruto would have grinned and joked about Kakashi's concept of "head on" if Sakura and Granny didn't have lecherous smiles on their faces. He scowled.

"I'm not transforming till I'm out of the village you pervs!"

In his time as an information gatherer, Naruto had created a number of personas. One of his most successful ones was the Sand missing nin, Kowaru.

Brash, grumpy with a highly vitriolic sarcasm and a hatred towards all types of authority, Kowaru was a walking stereotype of the bad-boy rebel. He was also dressed the part. With the help of Sakura and Tenten he had made himself, or rather Kowaru, the hottest piece of inconspicuous studdness. He was of slightly above average height, slender so as not to appear threatening to the ladies but muscled enough to make them feel protected, and had a kick ass apprentice puppeteer tattoo to go with the scowl.

When Naruto had designed Kowaru's demeanor he had been going for the dark and mysterious jerk approach. No one asked questions when you took yourself seriously enough after all. And the adoring women could provide useful information without so much as a grumble just to gain his attention. The constant scowling gave him headaches but Naruto had suffered worse for his village.

But what made Kowaru particularly useful was that Naruto had inadvertently made a profile for him that send him straight in the bingo books. That meant that Kowaru could strut around and kick butts just because he felt like it and the nuke-nin in the area wouldn't look twice. They already knew about him.

So as the Kowaru-form entered the little inn's bar with his sometimes buddy, missing kunoichi from Waterfall, Chiho, none in the criminal bunch batted an eyelash.

"Is this your first time?" Chiho asked curious and she fumbled with her sari trying to make it more comfortable for sitting.

"First time?" Naruto grumbled. "I'll tell you if it is, if you tell me what this crap meeting thing is about."

Chiho laughed nervously. "You'll like it Ko'. You always like this shit. You always ask things, well here is your chance for some answers."

Naruto stilled but otherwise stayed silent for a moment. He turned to Chiho his face solemn.

"I don't want any trouble Chiho."

"Don't worry. They are very careful. There is a strict policy against fighting." Chiho tried to reassure him.

Before Naruto could ask how they could possibly be certain that a bunch of highly irritable shinobi wouldn't get a sudden fancy for a fight, the door leading to the inn's rooms opened and everyone turned towards the three individuals that walked out of it.

It was immediately apparent they were ninja from the way they walked. The first man was tall, very thin and had a bored look plastered on his face. The woman had a shock of white hair, a knock-out body and was dressed in a way that tried(and failed) to downplay it. The third shinobi was also lanky but shorter and paler, with inky hair and thick rectangular glasses. He looked familiar. Very familiar. Oh shi-

One thought: Sasuke.

And another: Is he wearing glasses?

R&R