The acrid smell of things burning tackled into Howard's nostrils the moment he walked into Raj's apartment. There was enough smoke in the air to have set off ten smoke detectors, but he supposed Raj must had disconnected them all in advance in order to concentrate on a more sophisticated task for a scientist of his calibre. Cooking. Judging from the displeased pout on Raj's face that managed to poke through all the filth in the air, said task has been a fail. Raj was almost thirty, and was one of the smartest people he, and the rest of America knew. Heck, he had discovered another potentially habitable planet just last week, and yet, the poor boy couldn't make anything more than PBJ sandwiches in the kitchen to save his sorry ass.

Smiling and shaking his head, Howard tip-toed over to Raj, minding not to step on approximately 75% of the kitchen floor that would soil his new shoes. "Hello pal," he said his usual sarcastic greeting, giving a slumping Raj a huge hug. God, he was a mess.

"Hey," Raj mumbled, looking down embarrassingly at his apron, or what used to be an apron.

"Need a little help there?" Howard asked, though he clearly didn't have to. There was a little piece of what looked like cookie dough stuck on Raj's nose, which he leaned over and bit off playfully. It didn't actually taste bad, it tasted... terrible. Raj eagerly nodded his head in return, which was now pressed against Howard's.

Though Howard was no chef, he had watched his mother work away in the kitchen often enough to have somewhat of an idea on how to make chocolate chip cookies. At least he had enough common sense to not put all of humanity in danger when baking.

"This tastes much better," Raj said, rolling around the little bite he had taken from a new cookie in his mouth thoughtfully, looking mildly impressed.

Of course it did, because at least Raj's lips did not taste like vomit this time.

God, Raj has so many knots in his hair today...

It was as if the more Howard combed it with his fingers, the more messy it became. Howard was beginning to feel frustrated at the boy lying on top of him who was too spoiled to tidy his own hair, leaving him to do the dirty job instead. Messy hair pissed Howard off to no end, especially Raj's. Though he supposed he could push Raj off of him and the couch upon which they were both sprawling, but Howard felt too lazy to actually do that. The couch was too comfy. He had a really bad case of sugar crash. And he was so cold, but Raj was so damn warm... After all, the wedding was in two days, and he would be leaving with Bernadette on their honeymoon shortly after. Which meant this would be the last time he would get to hang out with Raj for a long time. So, since his hair was going to be uncombed for weeks, Howard decided that he wasn't going to stop now.

"Hey," Raj piped up randomly after it had become quiet for a while, "In the new Thor movie, why did they pick a Japanese guy to play Hogun?"

Howard cocked his head back in surprise; where the hell did this come from?

Howard was much too brain dead to be arguing extensively over anything right now. But Raj did bring up a good point. What went wrong in their heads that made them choose a Japanese man to play a Norse warrior? Surely it must have been more than a simple casting fail. Though he was definitely in no mood to think right now, he knew this was going to bother him for days. He loved the comics too much for it not to. Jesus Christ, he knew he would be thinking about this when having beach sex with Bernadette on their honeymoon.

"Damn it, Raj, why did you bring this up now?"

Raj giggled evilly into Howard's chest, " 'Cause I'll miss you," he said.

There was only an hour left before the wedding, but Howard insisted on giving himself some time alone. Though the church's downstairs washroom was dirty, smelt of urine, and infested with pests, he felt oddly comfortable being here. Probably because this was the last place where anyone would think the groom would be hiding. Leaning against the desk of sinks, Howard resorted to taking a few, slow, deep breaths, and splashed some cold water onto his face to try to calm those twitching, biting nerves that had been driving him insane all day. The water felt cool on his sweaty skin, dripping down his hair, his neck. At this moment, Howard didn't really care that his shirt and bow tie were wet, nor that his hair would have to be meticulously sculpted again.

He really needed this right now.

Howard Wolowitz was the kind of person who has his whole life planned out before he'd step a foot out the door. He was to go to university to eventually find a cheap engineering job that would wring in enough cash to keep a girlfriend to whom he would eventually marry. They'd have kids and settle down together in a middle-class suburban home. Simply, this was to be his life, and everything he had done so far was to inch him closer to this ultimate goal. So, Howard told himself that he should feel happy for his being married to Bernadette. She was the best girl he had ever found. She was sweet, kind, caring, loving, and not to mention, very pretty. She must be looking even prettier right now in the dress that he picked out for her, waiting to be taken into his arms. The wedding was going to go smoothly, and so was this marriage, Howard mentally assured himself, while still trying to catch his breath. Howard has finally found a girl who loved him, and he could never ask for more than that in a wife, right?

"You are nervous." came a soft voice from behind him, pulling Howard out of his thoughts. He lifted his head to see, in the filthy, cracking mirror, Raj's tall, straight figure stalking towards him.

"No I'm not," Howard snapped back, turning to face him, slightly cringing at the sight of his best man who looked much more put-together than he was.

Raj smiled and shook his head, "Yes you are," he teased, looking down at his friend and ruffled his hair that now looked like wet dog fur. Howard opened his mouth to protest, but was shushed by Raj placing a long finger gently on his lips.

"You look shitty, dude," He chuckled, as he took out a comb and began to redo Howard's hair. His nimble hands moved about Howard's treads like an expert, like he had done this many times before. His tugs were gentle and soothing, not rough and careless. It felt like Howard was getting his hair done by a mother he never had. Though, Howard did almost wish Raj's perfect hands would tear at his scalp, just once. He needed something to get angry with right now to unleash all of his pent-up emotion upon. But unfortunately, he now looked like a brand-new groom, thanks to Raj. Howard almost sighed as Raj smiled proudly at his broken reflection in the mirror, wrapped his arms around the waist of his finished work, and slipped his comb into Howard's coat pocket.

"Okay, now you are ready."

"Uh, not yet." Howard answered quickly. Without thinking, he turned around, stood on his toes, and kissed his taller friend with all the ferocity he could muster. Raj, who stumbled back in surprise and broke the kiss, lost his balance to the slippery bathroom tiles and fell. Howard pounced all four of his skinny limbs onto Raj, making sure both bodies landed flat onto the cold floor, panting and heaving, darting into each other's eyes.

All Howard could manage to do afterwards was laugh, at how his hands were in Raj's, their fingers weaving delicately with one another, at how simply adorable Raj looked, all dressed up and pinned underneath him, like a big doll, at how he and his best friend both ended up alone on the floor of a downstairs bathroom of the church in which he was soon to be married. Howard didn't care anymore either, so all he could do was laugh.

"Fine, make this one count," Raj grumbled bitterly against Howard's lips, "You won't be seeing me for a whole month."

Howard returned his kiss hungrily and ran a hand down Raj's now unbuttoned shirt, making a mental note to take his jealous lover on a honeymoon of their own someday.

Please review, ffs. I'll update sooner if you do. :)