x

Ziva pulled away at lightning speed from the parallel spot that she had found on the street a mere block away from Abby's apartment. Her swift actions reveling how eager she was to finally get Tony alone. Tony attempted to settle back into his seat in an effort to soothe his nerves. He always hated being cramped into her obnoxiously undersized red mini-cooper, and the way that she was driving made his probable untimely death seem more imminent than ever. Every single time he got in the car with her, he swore it would be the last time. Yet here he was again. It was basically the story of their relationship.

"Can we just agree right now that I'm teaching our children how to drive?" he half-joked, right as she cut dangerously between two semi-trucks, making Tony nervously dig his fingers into his seat.

Ziva feigned aggravation with his statement about her driving and shot Tony one of her infamous dirty looks from across the car, "There is absolutely nothing wrong with my driving. I am just an aggressive driver, and in many situations that I have found myself in it is an appropriate skill to possess."

"Baby, sweetheart, darling, I just want to get us both home alive, and I seriously doubt that we're going to encounter any roadside bombs in D.C. tonight." He somehow managed to maintain his sarcastic air through clenched teeth, and white knuckles, which were present from grasping the seat so long. He understood at that moment that she really was going to be the death of him, one way or another.

She smirked back at him and ignored his ongoing commentary on her driving, while pressing her foot down on the break.

"So, Tony, how many children are we having now anyway? I only remember discussing the one." Ziva mused not missing the opportunity to over-analyze Tony's previous statement.

"Well, Ziva, I just assumed that we'd keep trying until we got a boy, a Anthony DiNozzo III" he teased her playfully, trying to get a rise out of her. It was fair game, since she certainly used her driving to get one out of him.

"I want three," she announced confidently, stealing a brief glance at him before resuming watching the road. It was a rare moment of sincerity from her, a woman who kept most of herself hidden at all times.

"Preferably, two boys and one girl," she continued, looking eagerly at Tony once again in order to gage his reaction.

Tony leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the cheek in response. He began to stroke her thigh with his left hand, but he remained silent as he pondered her revelation. Surely, he thought to himself that he was far too old at this point for that to be possible for him. Perhaps she hadn't intended on them all being his children, he thought to himself.

His head started spinning as a thousand questions, which he had somehow managed to repress until now, began to race through his mind: Did he even want a family? Would he be the father that he never had or would he repeat the mistakes that his dad had made with him? Was Ziva treating him like a glorified sperm donor because she was having an emotional breakdown? Did Ziva even want to get married one day or was she just looking for a baby daddy? Did he want to get married ever and if he did was Ziva the person that he wanted to marry? Most importantly, what was Gibbs going to do to them once everything surfaced? What would happen at work?

For the first time he became aware of how bizarre it was that Ziva had decided that she wanted children all of the sudden. It seemed to be an overnight development, and her reasons were not all that solid. Not to mention that she had just sprung this on him out of the blue, and he hadn't exactly had time to process the information. They had never talked about it before, and in fact, she had never spoke of wanting children or a family previously. Although, it would not be difficult to understand her hesitation, considering her relationship with her father and the loss of both of her siblings.

He had reacted on his gut instinct when she had told him about her diabolical plan earlier. Yes, he wanted to reproduce and create a legacy. Yes, he loved Ziva and thought she would be a very loving, albeit protective, mother. Why not now? Why not her? He wasn't exactly getting any younger.

For once in Tony DiNozzo's overly articulated existence he was at a loss for words, although he had plenty of thoughts. He had assumed correctly that she was testing him by gauging his reaction to her thoughts about the future, and he chose to remain quiet in order to protect himself. Tony knew that even his calculating stoic ninja, Ziva, could be a typical woman sometimes and go off to her over-analytical headspace. The last thing he wanted to do was to upset her tonight. Especially since his mind had begun to ponder the idea of hot animalistic baby-making sex, which appealed to him on a subconscious primitive level.

He decided for certain that although he was obviously interested in having a future with Ziva, at the moment he was not ready to plan it entirely. He was still Tony DiNozzo after all, and they both had commitment issues that they would have to work through together. For the time being he wanted to handle their relationship on a day-to-day basis. However, he was happy that she was finally opening up to him, even if he was suspicious that it was all just a game for her. He wanted to know the inmost details of her fantasy life, a life that they could be spending together if they could find a way to make it work without killing one another.

x

Ziva was off-put by Tony's lack of response and stared dejectedly forward, as she took the interstate exit back to her apartment. She had started driving a little more carefully now than before in order to appease him. He was acting strangely, and she was overcome with worry. She was fearful that he was already having second thoughts about their arrangement, and she would hardly blame him at this point. Even worse she was fearful that he was starting to have second thoughts about their relationship. She wished that he would talk to her about what he was thinking, but understood the irony of wanting something that she wasn't able to give herself. They were both professional federal agents, masters of bottling up feelings. Even though she didn't really know exactly what she wanted to happen between them either, she was hopeful about their future together. She believed that if she could make it work with anyone then it would be him.

x

Tony allowed the silence to continue for a few moments longer, before he realized that he was being needlessly insensitive towards her feelings. He had just asked her to be more candid with him earlier in the day, and now he had shut her down by not responding to a simple statement about wanting three children, when he had just been joking about the same topic. He realized that it was no wonder that she was afraid to be entirely honest with him all of the time if he had behaved like this previously when she had tried to open up to him.

"Sorry, Zi, I just got caught up in my headspace there for a second." He finally spoke. His hand was still absentmindedly running up against her smooth thigh, and he moved it up to stroke her face for a moment.

He continued, wanting to explain to her what had just happened, "Let's agree to see how the first one goes before we start planning on having more, okay? I mean, it's fine to talk about, as long as you mean hypothetically, one day, in the future…"

He was cut off by their arrival to Ziva's apartment, which was lucky because he wasn't articulating himself very well at all. Ziva turned the car off, faced him, and put her hand on top of his, which was still resting on her cheek.

"You do not need to worry so much," she responded softly, maintaining eye contact with him as she spoke.

Tony reassured by her touch and her presence felt a weight lift off his shoulders, "I know and I'm sorry, Ziva. I didn't mean to come off like such an ass."

Ziva put her hand on his shoulder a squeezed it and then leaned in to him for a kiss, but Tony stopped her. He still had things that he needed to say before he could move on. He truly wanted to work on this whole communication thing.

"I really do want to know those kinds of things about you, and for you to be comfortable enough to tell me about them. Before today I didn't even know that you wanted children. In fact, I thought you didn't want children, and now we're going to try to have one. You're a complete enigma to me, and I'm really afraid that one day you'll tell me something that I won't be able to handle." He explained to her, trying to make sense of what he was feeling.

Ziva looked away from Tony and down into her lap, "I feel like such an idiot, Tony, and I hate myself for creating all of these trust issues after we worked so hard to get over them after Michael…after all of that."

Tony recognized the signs of a distressed and regretful ninja, an elusive creature, which was altogether majestic, yet painfully tragic. He had to comfort her. She was his to take care of. He was the only one that could do it and took great pride in that responsibility. He was the only one to whom she had divulged all of the horrors of Somalia, the atrocities committed while working for Mossad, and the stormy childhood that made her what she is.

"I trust you, Ziva, with my life, everyday. I know that we're two people who are both very guarded about our personal lives, and we're trying to come together. It's just going to be difficult, and I know we're both going to freak out about it sometimes, like I just did." Ziva raised her head to look back at him, a faint smile on her lips.

Tony continued, his brain finally communicating with his mouth, "I just didn't want you to believe that I'm not even thinking about a future together, or that I'm still the same noncommittal man-child that I used to be. I'm just not ready to decide on every detail about my future right this moment."

Ziva smiled broadly at Tony this time, "I know that is not who you are anymore, Tony, and I understand exactly what you are saying."

She continued on hastily, laughter ringing in her voice, her teasing chide slightly evident, "Trust me, Tony, I get scared when I think about this too. I certainly never saw myself being this settled, especially with you. I mean, I've always cared about you even when we were just screwing around, but I always figured that one of us would move on without the other at some point."

Tony laughed again. This is what he wanted, he was sure of it. He leaned out of his seat and kissed her deeply and passionately. She pushed back equally hard, slamming him against the passenger window, practically devouring him.

Suddenly, Tony stopped, "You know I lost my virginity in the passenger seat of a car, right?"

"Shut up. Let's continue this upstairs."

"Ziva," he said more solemnly, desperately hanging on to her hips with his fingers. "I want you to tell me everything."

"What do you mean by everything? I wouldn't even know where to begin." She said sliding back to her side of the car and opening the door.

He got out of the car, joining her in the crisp night air, "Well, to start with what have you named your three hypothetical children?"

She reached out for his hand and pulled him close to her, looking deep into his green eyes with her most mesmerizing stare, "I'll tell you later. For tonight let's do, not talk."