The case was finished. The killer was behind bars, and the team was going to the bar to have drinks.

Ziva couldn't help the tears from slowly pouring from her face as she drove to meet her friends and her Tony. She was crying a lot lately after cases but today was different. She had gotten her period last night, signifying another month that had passed with no luck. It had been three months since they had started trying to conceive, and although the doctor had told them that six months to a year was common, each month that passed added a new level of disappointment.

Since the case had begun four days ago, she hadn't had any alone time with Tony. They'd been taking turns "sleeping" in the bullpen along with McGee. What she needed now was a quite night in but instead Tony had insisted they went out with Abby and McGee. She had agreed because she knew it would seem suspect if they didn't go out with their co-workers for the customary drinks after wrapping up a big case.

X

Tony waited anxiously at the bar for Ziva's arrival. He had called her after work, which had been their only intimate conversation since the case had started, and he had gotten a foreboding feeling that he would not be able to do right by her this evening. The feeling of helplessness washed over him as realization that anything he did tonight was just going to further anger her. He hated when she got like this. He would never understand women and their moods, and Ziva had some of the most menacing moods of any woman that he had ever dated.

His mind went back to when they had first started sleeping together. Everything was easier back then albeit far less rewarding. Gibbs was no longer in charge of the team, and Tony's rules were far more open to sleeping with coworkers. In fact it was almost easier to focus on cases once the sexual tension had been alleviated. The sexual tension was distracting at best but at worst it had consumed him.

It would take several more years for him to cultivate deep and abiding romantic feelings for Ziva, and several more to actually get the courage to act on those feelings. However, when they finally came it was pain and regret like he had never experienced before, neither with Wendy, nor with Jeanne. He couldn't believe that he had been so dense all of those years and that he could have hurt her so badly in the beginning. If their relationship could be summarized in two words, they would be: bad timing.

He didn't agree with Ziva that the best thing for them to do was to stay in tonight. They needed to go out with their best friends and coworkers instead of sitting around dwelling on their problems, which in light of everything they had been through together weren't that bad. It had only been three months. She wasn't being rational right now. Her hormones must be out of balance.

"Seriously, Tony. Get out of your head. The case is over. You should have a drink." McGee was getting seriously annoyed. Abby was flirting with a metro fireman, and Tony had completely spaced out on him, leaving him drinking alone at an almost empty bar on a Wednesday night.

"Yeah, I think I will," Tony complied, and ordered a double rum and coke.

"What's going on with you these days anyways? You always seem preoccupied."

"I just have a lot on my mind," Tony mused. He wished he could talk to McGee about what he was thinking about sometimes. It might be healthy to have an outlet other than Ziva and his therapist. He couldn't talk to Abby about this one.

"You and Ziva both, Gibbs even asked what the deal was."

"Yeah, well, she's bat shit crazy," Tony murmured under his breath, away from McGee. He could really use that outlet.

"What'd you say? I didn't catch that."

"Just that I wouldn't worry about Ziva."

"Well, what's the deal with you then?"

"Forget it, McNosey," he warned, while slurping down his drink quickly and signaling to the bartender that he wanted another. "Seriously, McGoo, let's focus on your personal life tonight. I mean, seriously, when is the last time you even saw a girl naked."

"Shut it, Tony. That's none of your business," McGee shot back defensively at Tony causing his ears to turn a little pink.

"Come on, McSensitive. Why don't you go talk to those college girls? They're studying at the bars. They've got to be your type."

"Fine, I will," said Tim confidentially.

"Go then."

"Are you not coming with me?"

"Do you need my help, Probie? Want a experienced man to show you the ropes of how to pick up smart beautiful women?"

"Please, what do you know about smart beautiful women? I've never seen you with one that had an IQ larger than her bra size. Maybe I could teach you a thing or two. "

"I resent that, McHurtful, but if you need me to be your crutch tonight I will. Let's start by sending them a round of drinks."

"All of them? I don't think I could handle sleeping with all five of them," quipped Tim sarcastically.

"Aw, Probie, baby steps," Tony joked, "DiNozzo's dating rule number seven: play the odds. You can't just pick two of them to go after to start with. First of all, the rest of them would get angry that they weren't picked and we'd end up striking out with all of them. Second, the two hottest ones are probably already taken. This way we're just seeing if any of them bite from a safe distance in case we've landed upon one of those elusive lipstick lesbian groups."

"You really are sick, you know that."

"Jerry, we want to send a round of cranberry vodkas to that table of hot girls over there."

"Why cranberry vodkas?" asked McGee.

"It's not too girly or too expensive," Tony began. "Sending them a round of cosmopolitans would be trying way to hard and they could get offended and insert feminist adage here. You get my point, but since they are still female sending a pitcher or whiskey shots would just be inconsiderate."

"And so it begins…" McGee stated as the drinks were presented to the group of very attractive, and probably his baby sister's age co-eds.

The group of girls looked their way, smiling and laughing. They were a giggly bunch, thought Tony. Suddenly, he wished very deeply that he would only ever have male children. These girls were too young for him, maybe not for McGee, but he was at-least twenty-years their senior.

Three of the group stood up and began to make their way towards the bar where Tony and McGee were waited calmly. Tony had turned back to the bar and away from them as his stomach was churning with guilt. What was he doing? Where was Ziva?

McGee had often heard of Tony's sexual prowess but it was spectacular to actually see it in person. He had made them come to them and was now acting uninterested. It had been too easy for him. He wished Ziva had been here to see Tony in action.

"Hey, we just wanted to say thanks for the drinks," said one of the too young co-eds. Her dirty blonde hair was in a high ponytail and her thin taunt body exuded an air of unabashed confidence that could only be seen in a recently legal twenty-something girl.

"No problem, we were just concerned that you girls were studying a little too hard over there and wanted to lighten things up a bit," Tony replied, wondering if McGee had completely frozen up under pressure and was leaving him alone to entertain three girls that were young enough to be his first-born.

"Actually we're just planning a fundraising event for our sorority. Alcohol might liven things up a little bit," corrected the tall brunette who was by far the hottest of the group, although they were all fairly attractive.

"Oh, really? I'm a Alpha Chi Delta from Ohio State…"

"No way! My brother is an AChiD at University of Virginia," the third blonde girl interjected, "We always do homecoming with them, this year we're doing a fundraiser together to raise awareness about animal homelessness…"

Tony couldn't help but notice the girl's perfect smile and how her skin and hair were flawless. She was sweet and charming, witty and beautiful. It was everything that he used to look for in a woman. Suddenly, Tony's thoughts diverted inwards. He thought about the golden retriever and the house in the suburbs with his perfect homemaker wife.

That was his plan when he was still in school. He would always blame Wendy for ruining the picturesque life that they were supposed to share together. On the other hand he never would have experienced as much of life if she had stayed in the picture. It took ten years of growth to realize that marrying Wendy would have been a mistake. He was just a naïve kid back then. He didn't even know what real love was. It took loosing love to know what it truly meant. He would risk anything for it. He was ready to die to avenge Ziva's death. In fact he would have rather been dead than to live on without her. He couldn't live without her.

Where was Ziva? Tony checked his phone to see if she had called, instead he found one text message:

Fuck you.