Wow am I sooo lost... I've had so many intentions to update stuff, but after writing that MASSIVE finale for Broken Strings, it's like…POOF! Inspiration; Gone. So in efforts to try and douse my boredom and mental block, here's an update for I'm Not on Crack!
Next Pairing: ChrisxBlaineley.
"Out of my way, people who are considerably less handsome and talented than me!" Our favourite egomaniac exclaimed, as he shoved his way in between two interns that were chatting idly, before being pushed apart by an egotistic Newfoundland native. Chris dashed through the busy hallway, his breathing choppy. He quickly looked back, his eyes widening when they met sapphire eyes of fire. He picked up the pace, as a loud yell entered his eardrums from about five metres away.
"GET BACK HERE, MCLEAN! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!" Blaineley hissed, with hands balled up into tight fists. She waddled after Chris as fast as she could, considering one of the heels on her red stilettos had fallen off. Her hair was in tangles, her make up was smudged, and her dress was wrinkled and lopsided, showing off her skimpy, pink lacey bra.
"As well as my dry-cleaning, hair extensions, and MANI-PEDI!" She added, through gritted teeth. She started to gain ground on Chris, her breathing beginning to shallow.
"NEVER, O'HALLORAN! THAT JOB IS MINE!" Chris shot back, glaring at the vamp over his tanned muscular shoulder.
"IN YOUR DREAMS!"
"NO, IN MY DREAMS, THEY NEVER FIND YOUR UNTONED CELLULITE-RIDDEN BODY!"
Blaineley visibly fumed, before she sprinted in her last gust of energy, tackling the self-centered reality show host to the ground. They hit the floor with a thud, as Chris fell on his back, with Blaineley falling on top of him. Out of his left chest pocket, a piece of paper flew out and slid across the floor a few feet. Both Chris', and Blaineley's eyes widened on it as time seemingly froze.
A few moments passed, as Blaineley and Chris stay frozen in their current position; Blainely lying stomach down on Chris, as he lie on his back. Blaineley's arms lay over Chris's broad shoulders, as his rest on either side of her hips. Their eyes stay situated on the piece of paper, any expression on their faces gone.
Like a bullet, the anger returned in a flash as both of them struggled and reached for the paper, getting nowhere because they were too tangled with each other to move.
"Get off of me!" Chris grumbled, reaching for the piece of paper. But he was too far away to reach it.
Blaineley growled as she grabbed onto Chris' wrist and yanked it away, before shrieking as she slid off of Chris and landed in his arms. "Not until you get out of my way!" She seethed.
"Psh, as if, lady! I'm the more important one!" Chris snorted, shoving her away from him by her face. Blaineley grabbed a fistful of his wavy jet-black hair and pulled, making him yelp.
"Yeah, well I'm the hotter one! I have a way higher sex appeal than you, you sadistic asshole!" Blaineley yelled.
"Ch'yeah right! I'm so hot, ladies practically cry at my godlike stature." Chris stated proudly.
"Are you sure it isn't because you're hideous?" She scoffed, rolling her blue eyes. Chris scowled at her, before they continued their mad dash for the piece of paper.
What exactly got these two in this current position? Well…
One hour earlier…
Chris sighed, as he walked through the doors of yet another talent agency. Ever since he was canned from his job at Total Drama, thanks to some unfriendly lawsuits, he was having trouble finding another gig. This…this not having a job on TV situation…was something completely new, and frightening to out ex host. What if he was never able to get back on the mainstream?
Chris burst out laughing, and wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. Like that'll ever happen. I mean, just look at him! He was Chris freaking McLean! The epitome of hotness! He'd have a new job in no time flat.
He walked over to the receptionist's desk, smirking slightly to himself when he noticed how attractive she was. Chris leaned against the desk, and peered down at the girl as she typed away innocently.
"Hi There, fine looking lady; it's your lucky day, because you get to tell me where I can find the manager of this fine establishment. And maybe, if all goes well, I'll let you buy me a hot chocolate…" Chris said, lacing his voice with as much charm as he possibly could.
The receptionist looked up from the computer monitor, meeting Chris' eyes. A grimace accentuated her features, as she crinkled up her nose in distaste.
"Ew! You're like, old enough to be my dad!" The girl shrieked, between chews of her bubblegum. She blew a bubble in her gum as she analyzed Chris's face, before her hazel eyes widened.
"Ew! I think you are my dad! Daddy, what are you doing here?" She questioned, keeping her voiced hush as if someone she knows might see her.
"Jessie? What are you doing here!" Chris asked, his voice hushed as well. His eyes widened as well as he leaned closer to her so that the whole conversation could be kept quiet. It seemed as if both of them were as equally embarrassed to see the other in public.
"I asked you first! I thought we had an agreement, that outside of the house; I don't know you." Jessie hissed, narrowing her eyes on her father. She continued to chew on her gum as she tousled her wavy jet-black hair, as Chris scowled.
"Believe me, pretending we don't know each other does nothing more than make me ecstatic, but I need a gig! Can't you hook your old man up?" Chris pleaded.
"Psh, sorry- actually, no. I'm not that sorry at all. But that's not my problem." She snorted, smiling smugly.
Chris' scowl deepened, as he noticed how much the girl sitting before him reminded him of himself.
"Get me an interview now, or else you can forget about your cellphone…" Chris began, watching the raven-haired female's mortified expression with narrowed eyes.
"Spa membership…"
Jessie's eyes widened further, as she began to bite her nails scared for her social life.
"Your car…" He listed, earning a gasp from his daughter. Jessie's hands flew to her hair as she processed this…this unholiness being bestowed upon her!
"…And last, but certainly not least; your credit cards." Chris smirked, knowing that would send her over the edge.
"NO! Not my babies!" Jessie cried. Chris snickered whilst Jessie pouted and narrowed her eyes at her dad. She growled quietly, before mumbling some incoherent profanities as she turned to the computer and began typing in some things.
"Third floor, room 316." She grumbled.
Chris' smug grin widened, as he headed over to the elevator.
"Thanks sweetheart, love you." He called over his shoulder.
Jessie scowled, before raising her arm as she flipped the egomaniac off.
"Drop dead!"
Chris exited the elevator, and started to walk down the hall, cringing when he realized just how long the line was. He scowled getting in line behind a blonde woman in a red dress, and picked at his perfectly manicured fingers.
Time seemed to pass in slow motion for Chris, as the line seemingly stood still. His scowl deepened, and he tapped his designer tennis shoe against the cheap linoleum floor impatiently, before glancing down at his watch.
"UGH! THIS IS ENDLESS! WHY ISN'T THE LINE MOVING!" Chris demanded, throwing his hands up in despair.
The woman in front of him rolled her eyes, before turning around and placing a hand on her hip as she stared at Chris with a dull expression.
"Calm down, buddy, you've only been here for ten seconds." She said, dryly as she rolled her eyes once more.
Chris glared at her, before his eyes widened.
"B-Blaineley?" He gasped.
"The one and only." She replied, placing her hands on her chest proudly. She smiled and held her chin up smugly. "I'd be touched to sign anything- but no underwear, or anything else below the belt, got it?"
Chris was still in shock at seeing the woman who stood before him; the only memory he had about her, was being able to shove her off the plane. A smirk found it's way onto his lips, and he shook his head.
"Wow, your body sure healed, didn't it?" He remarked.
Blaineley's widened and she stared at Chris shocked, as she started to tug at her hair flustered.
"Wh-what? Who told you I was ever-" She stop mid sentence, before slowly narrowing her eyes as Chris' smirk widened. "Oh… It's you, Chris."
"The one and only." He mocked, earning a scoff and a hit to the chest.
"Shut up. What are you doing here, anyway? Come to see the losers in front of me have their dreams crushed while I become the new anchorwoman of this news station?" She said, her voice full of smugness.
Chris rolled his eyes, but couldn't help but inwardly grimace; so this was an audition to be a news anchor? What a waste of his many talents.
"You wish. You may have had a shot against these talentless shmoe's, but now that I'm here; me. Chris McLean. You don't stand a chance!" He said cockily. Chris shoved Blaineley aside before taking her spot in line.
"Hey!" Blaineley huffed, yanking Chris' arm and pulling him out of her spot. "I don't think so, Mr. Hair Gel Addict. You may have been higher than me on the ladder of the success during the days of Total Drama, but those are long over, and I have a secret weapon." She said, smiling devilishly.
"Which would be…?" Chris trailed off.
"Psh, no way, as if I'm gonna tell you. So you might as well run along, Chrissy. I got this in the bag." Blaineley gloated, before smirking at the scowling Chris. She strutted back into her spot in line.
Chris' scowl deepened, before he grabbed the honey blonde's elbow and shoved her into a nearby janitor's closet, despite her loud protests. Chris had a plan forming, and Chris McLean's plans always work.
Well, most of the time.
…Okay, sometimes.
"Listen. Both of us want that job, and both of us aren't going to get it." Chris whispered.
Blaineley scowled as she ripped her elbow out Chris' grip. "Thanks for stating the obvious, dumbass. Care to tell me why you shoved me into a grungy janitor's closet lined with freeloading bacteria just waiting to give me blackheads!" She hissed, keeping her voice down low as well. Chris rolled his eyes, but it couldn't be seen due to the darkness of the closet.
"Okay, look. I really need this gig, Blaineley. If you give me your 'secret weapon', I promise to get you a job at FreshTV. I got good connections there."
"Let me think about- No." She scowled.
"Come on Blaineley!"
"No! Since when have you ever been nice to me! You shoved me out of a plane for heaven's sake!"
"Um, hello? Ratings?" Chris deadpanned.
Blaineley rolled her eyes. "Well, did you mean it?"
"…Mean what?"
Blaineley stared directly into his eyes, making him feel slightly uncomfortable. Well, more so than usual when she looked at him.
"During one of those stupid songs, you called me a ratings jewel. Did you mean it?" She asked.
Chris tugged at his collar uneasily, and shifted his weight. He could always lie; but, for some strange reason, he didn't feel like he could in this current moment.
"Umm… Define 'jewel'…" He said, clicking his tongue.
Blaineley scowled and flipped her hair, before turning to leave. Chris had to do something! Either he'd go jobless, or end up having to do something with Blaineley in order to not be jobless; it was a lose-lose situation!
Chris' eyes shot open as he grabbed her wrist and pulled her in close to him and placed his hands on her waist. Blaineley's eyes widened as she looked up into Chris' eyes confused at his odd behavior.
"Christopher McLean, what are you-!" Blaineley exclaimed until Chris' lips came crashing down onto hers. At first she was too shocked and confused to kiss back, but she somehow found her lips molding with his, as her eyes fluttered close and wrapped one of her arms around his neck, and rest her other hand on his cheek which was sporting his signature stubble.
Chris' pulled her in closer, as their kiss became hotter; lots of different things racing through each of their minds.
Damn, this is hot. Hotter than expected, considering this is Blaineley… I just need to find that note; I know it's on her somewhere 'cause she had no purse…
Why the hell am I kissing him! I mean, I hate him, don't I? I guess this is how Heather felt kissing Alejandro… I can't believe how good this feels; almost too good… And what man tastes like cinnamon? Seriously! It's odd…but Sooo…so…. yummy.
Chris slowly eased them both to the ground, as they stayed connected at the mouth. Blaineley traced random patterns onto his muscular chestas Chris placed both his hands on either side of her to prop himself up as his legs straddled her. His left hand slowly made it's way up her bare thigh, before his fingers rested on the waistband of her panties, earning a soft moan from the back of her throat. Chris resisted smirking into the kiss, from the ego boost he certainly didn't need, as his other hand moved over and rested on Blaineley's bra strap.
She began to bite and suck on Chris' bottom lip, while lacing and running her fingers through his thick black hair. Chris admitted it felt amazing, but he'd never let her know that. He reached down into her top, not even fighting the smirk that appeared on his lips when he pulled out a folded up piece of paper.
Chris pulled away breathlessly, and smiled wickedly at the woman that lay beneath him as her eyes fluttered open and her chest heaved up and down from lack of oxygen.
"Wow…" Blaineley murmured, as Chris stood up thoroughly confusing her. She furrowed her brow as Chris fixed his hair to the best of his ability without a mirror, and made his way back to the door. He smirked at her as her eyes widened.
"Wh-what? Where are you going?" She questioned, her voice almost panicky.
"Sorry, Blaineley, but I've got an interview to go to. And I can't possibly be late." He taunted, his smirk widening as he waved the piece of paper around in his hand. Blaineley's eyes nearly burst out of their sockets, before they narrowed dangerously, as her jaw clenched.
"CHRIS! YOU BASTARD!" She fumed, balling her hands up into fists.
"The Christer always leaves the ladies wanting more!" Chris chuckled, exiting the closet as Blaineley's face turned almost as red as her dress.
"UGH!" She screeched as she sat up and tried to make herself remotely presentable. She stood up quickly, shrieking as the heel snapped on her right stiletto. Blaineley screamed as she whipped open the door with enough force to unhinge it. She growled as she took off after Chris, burning holes into the back of his perfectly coifed head with her glare.
"GET BACK HERE, MCLEAN! GET BACK HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS!" She screamed.
"No thanks, I wouldn't want you to break your foot on my buns of steel!" He shot back, snickering at her loud growl.
Presently…
Blaineley and Chris growled, as Chris pinned Blaineley down so he could reach for the paper. Blaineley, not having this, grabbed a fistful of his hair yanking him back, and smirking when she heard him yelp in pain.
Door 316 swung open, to reveal a professional looking man dressed in a suit, looking down at them confusedly. Blaineley and Chris froze, staring up at the man nervously.
"Um…hello there…" Chris greeted awkwardly, as his still stay straddling the blonde. While he was off guard, she shoved him off of her and plastered on a fake smile.
"Allow me to introduce myself; I'm Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran, and I-"
"Was just about to leave, because I- Chris McLean- am interested in looking at the position of-"
"-News anchor for your station!"
The duo glared and grumbled simultaneously at each other, as the man slowly began to clap. Chris and Blaineley stopped and turned to him, and stared at him confusedly.
"You two are simply perfect! You both get the job!" He grinned.
"What…do you mean?" Blaineley asked, skeptically.
"You two, are the new co-anchors for the 11 o'clock news!"
"WHAT?!" Chris and Blaineley both exclaimed, before scowling at the other.
"Well, it's either both of you or nothing…" The man sighed.
Chris and Blaineley plastered on fake grins, and looked at each other seemingly "ecstatic"
"Great!" Blaineley chirped, through gritted teeth.
"Oh I just cannot wait…" Chris grinned, sarcasm oozing through each and every word.
The manager smiled. "Great, I'll just go get some paper work for you two to sign…" He trailed off, before going back into his office and shutting the door.
Blaineley and Chris both scowled at each other again, as they crossed their arms.
"I hate you." She grumbled.
"Don't worry, cellulite junky, the feeling is mutual." Chris scoffed, narrowing his eyes.
Yep. Definitely a lose-lose situation…
Graaah, sorry this took so long and sorry it sucked so much! I got tired and my brain just went 'Blaaaah…' And there went any good ideas. I hope you enjoyed this, nonetheless.
Next Couple:
SierraxCody, HeatherxTrent, or EzekielxBridgette?
Please review, and I hope to have a faster update next time!
P.S. Reviews make me update faster… Just sayin'. ;)
OOH! And what do you think of my new display pic? I made it look more like me, and added a few things. When/if I make a Deviantart account, I might possibly take requests for avatars. :P
Alexex