Disclaimer: This "chapter" is based on Monty Python's "The Parrot Sketch". I don't own anything by Monty Python or make money from posting this fic. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
A/N warning: The sketch below is purely for fun. I never take myself or fanfiction too serious. In case you do, don't read on: I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Genre of the "chapter" below: humour, satire.
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The Plot Sketch
Author: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That fic is definitely deceased, and when you reviewed it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.
Reviewer: Well, it's...it's, ah...probably pining for Beltane.
Author: PININ' for BELTANE? What kind of talk is that? Look, why did it fall flat on its back the moment I posted it?
Reviewer: Samhain fic prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable story, id'nit, milady? Lovely plot possibilities!
Author: Look, I took the liberty of examining those plot possibilities when I got home, and I discovered the only reason that they are there is because they've got clichés NAILED all over them in corny emo dramaness.
(pause)
Reviewer: Well, o'course they was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed those clichés down, they'd never become clichés in the first place. Everyone loves a good cliché in a fic. It goes VOOM! Feeweeweewee!
Author: "VOOM"? Mate, any continuation of this fic wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!
Reviewer: No no! 'E's pining!
Author: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This fic is no more! It has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im down 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile! THIS IS AN EX-FIC!
(pause)
Reviewer: Well, I'd better not ask for a continuation, then. (takes a quick peek around the internet) Sorry milady, I've had a look 'round the back of the net, and uh, we're right out of undemanding reviews.
Author: I see. I see, I get the picture.
Reviewer: I got an alert button.
(pause)
Author: Pray, does it NOT demand for another chapter?
Owner: Nnnnot really.
Author: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?
Reviewer: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)
Author: Well.
(pause)
Reviewer: (quietly) D'you... d'you want to come back to post on this place?
Author: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.
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A/N: Free adaptation of "The Parrot Sketch" by Monty Python. For those of you who've never seen it and are curious, it's on youtube. I highly recommend anything by Monty Python. Again, all of this was written in good spirit. I adore all my reviewers (even when you lot turn my eyes red and make me want to pull all my hair out). Ooooh, maybe more so even then. *snnnrks*
For replies to anonymous reviews, see the link in my profile.
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