Hello everybody, I'm back from camp! Actually, I got back on Thursday because I caught the stomach flu and had to leave. I've spent the last couple days recovering so that's why an update has not appeared in your inboxes yet. It's short because I'm still a little weak. Now, who wants some more cliché stories?

Gather round children, come gather 'round mama.

I honestly think I went brain dead doing my research for this next Fic. Now, I know I'm going to get a bunch of angry reviews for this little rant. I'll just laugh and delete it so don't waste your time.

VAMPIRES. Seriously, this might be the WORST idea for a Fanfic… ever. I could not, for the life of me, find ONE SINGLE DECENT Fanfic for this genre. One had too much (horrible) dialogue, another lacked so much detail I had to bash my head with a wooden spoon. So basically, Freddie becomes a vampire, or the other way around, and Sam magically falls in lurve wit him. Kissy face here, couple o' smooth words there and BAM! You got yourself a Seddie Vampire Fan Fiction. BLEH! Spare me!

Please enjoy reading this as much as I had writing it.

"I'm so glad Vampires don't exist!" I say to Carly and Sam inside the Groovy Smoothie.

"Yeah me too," Sam pipes in, "Vampires are, like, SO stupid."

"Gee, I hope I never become one." I say, even though I just pointed out the fact that Vampires don't exist. I get up and say goodbye to my friends and walk out of the shop alone even though we usually go everywhere together.

"Hmmm, this dark and creepy alleyway that could be crawling with Vampires seems like a good shortcut." I say out loud to myself like a creep. I start to walk down the alley when something grabs my throat and slams me against a wall.

"DUDE! I'm going to, like, drink all of your blood and, like, make YOU a Vampire so your relationship with Sam will be more tragic and fatalistic!" A very pale man growls in my face.

"OMG! Are you that guy from Alice and Wonderland?" I cry.

"No you fool! I'm a Vampire!"

"Vampire's don't exist silly!" I giggle like a little girl. The Vampire pulls my head to the side and sinks his teeth into my skin. I don't even scream because apparently I'm immune to pain. Then, I'm suddenly a Vampire.

"Wow this is cool!" I say, jumping up from the ground. Everything looks better (A/N: EXACT QUOTE.) but who needs detail? The evil vampire is suddenly gone so I stroll back to the Groovy Smoothie where Carly and Sam haven't moved an inch since I left.

"Hello ladies!" I greet.

"Wow Freddie!" Sam says, "You're totally sexy now!" I smile and fluff my hair.

"That's because I'm a vampire." I announce to the restaurant. Nobody flees in fear though because I never have the thirst for blood.

"Do you wanna drink my blood?" Sam asks innocently.

"No."

"Ok."

We walk out of the Groovy Smoothie, leaving Carly behind, and walk in the dark street.

"Soo, wanna make out?' Sam suggests.

"Eh, whatever." I shrug and Sam squeals like a stupid fan-girl. We start to violently make out when suddenly, a white figure appears out of the shadows. I stop gnawing off Sam's face and look up. It ironically is the same vampire that I met in the alleyway.

"Hello Freddie." He greets even though I never told him my name.

"I'm going to fight you to impress Sam who is suddenly in love with my smokin' hot body!" I shout, holding up my fists.

We fight. (A/N: Another ACTUAL quote. Pfft. Who the needs DETAIL?)

The vampire dies after one punch.

"I WIN!" I celebrate. Sam runs over and we start to chew on each other's lips again.

"Turn me into a vampire!" Sam says.

"No."

"Please?"

"Okay." I hold Sam shoulders and bite her neck. She smiles and suddenly transforms into a vampire. So we're both vampires when Carly comes running out of the Groovy Smoothie.

"Hey guys I just turned into a witch!" she yells, "Now we can all be super BFFs forever!" We all run and hug. Then we're smashed by a Semi-Truck.

THE END!

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