"Jesse...I-" Rachel stuttered in front of the man she once loved.
"Rachel, Rachel. I know." he held her shoulders, watched her worried face, and couldn't help but smile. "Come here." he opened his arms and she hugged him tightly. She didn't want to let go. She only did when the rest of the Glee club ran outside.
Rachel pulled back, wiping her eyes.
"Goodbye, Jesse." she held out her hand. He chuckled and held out his hand as well.
"Goodbye, Miss Berry. I hope to see you soon." They laughed and they shook hands. Noah came behind her and placed his arm around her waist. She took one longing look at Jesse then turned and headed back towards the school with Noah.
"Oh and Rachel!" She turned around so quickly.
"Don't forget to sing that song." Jesse smiled. She nodded, then ran towards the building with Noah.
Jesse knew things weren't going to be easy for Rachel now, because he knew she'd tell Noah. But he'd be there. If she needed someone, he was going to be there. Sure, he could never love Rachel like he wanted to again, but he'd be the best god damn friend she ever had.
"What do you dream about?" Rachel asked as her and Noah sat on her bed that night.
"I don't know." he answered honestly.
"You don't have any dreams?" She asked surprised.
"Not really. I mean, I just want to be happy." That was a good answer coming from Noah. Rachel leaned her head on his shoulder and he kissed her head and took her hand. She played with his fingers, unsure of how to tell him.
"Hey, is something wrong?" Noah asked, at first laughing at her. Then, as she continued to grow wary and played impatiently with his fingers, his smile faded.
"Rach, what's wrong?" he turned her face towards him. She a few tears slide down her face and watch his fill with worry.
"Noah, I-...I kissed Jesse." she fell forward, crying into his arms. He held her for a while, but he was thinking. Maybe Jesse was right for her. Everyone screws up now and then. He would know. But he could swear in his heart that he loved her, too. He rubbed her back, trying to hold back his frustration. This girl was a mess and she needed someone, but he didn't want to blow up at her either.
"Rachel, I mean-I'm not..." He couldn't find the right words to say as she stared at him with pleading eyes. He tried to dodge, avoid them, but they drew him in each and every time.
"I'm sorry, Rachel, really. But - I have to go. Please don't take this the wrong way. I love you, I just...I need some time to think. I'm sorry." he kissed her head then stared into her eyes, and kissed her lips one last time before heading out. She was ready to bawl, to let everything, all her progress, fall apart. She was ready to be done, but something stopped her. The gold stars on her dresser, the ones all over her things. She couldn't cry. Sure, company wouldn't be bad, but she wasn't going to cry. She was so much stronger than that. Rachel was back. Rachel was once again herself and never going back to that pitiful, sad Rachel.
She picked her phone off of the bedside table and dialed.
"Jesse?"
"Rachel? Are you okay?" she missed hearing his voice worrying for her. He wasn't lying before. He did love her still and he did in fact care.
"Yeah, but would you mind coming over? I mean I just told Puck and he left, politely might I add, but it's still kind of lonely." The other end was silent for a moment.
"Wouldn't that be...weird if he found out I came over?"
"Maybe, but it's just me having a good friend over for some company. He has no valid reason to be mad." Rachel was persuasive and made it clear to Jesse that she had recovered. He smiled.
"Okay, Rach. As long as it'll be okay. I'll be there soon." Now it was her turn to smile.
"Thanks, Jesse." she was ready to hang up, but he stopped her.
"And Rachel?"
"Yeah, Jesse?" her voice was excited, but she was subtle about it.
"Thanks for not deleting my number off your phone." He hung up.
She sat on her bed, thinking about that last statement, his voice ringing in her head. She never dared delete his number. And she had a good reason: she had never stopped loving him. It was days like these where she was glad to be alive.
Jesse contemplated the entire idea while he drove. He wanted to Rachel again, to be there for her, but he didn't to get her in more trouble with her boyfriend. But he never stopped driving. He knocked on her door and she was so quick to open it, it scared him. She was too excited. He was seriously worried about his Rachel.
"Jesse!" she wrapped her arms around him and he couldn't hold on to his train of thought or intentions any longer. He picked her up in the hug and spun her around.
"Hey, Rachel." he laughed setting her down.
"Hey, Jesse?" she asked looking up at him. He smiled into her dark eyes.
"Yeah, Rach?" he chuckled.
"Thanks for not forgetting where I lived." his smiled dropped. What was he doing? She had a boyfriend and he was kind of leading her on. He shook it off and flashed her a quick smile and followed her up to her room. They sat on the bed and he explored her room with his eyes, remembering where everything was supposed to be. It was exactly how it was. He watched her as she went on and on about how she was going to spend the rest of her year and how much the glee club had grown. It was like she never left at all.
"Rachel?" he stopped her. She turned and faced him who she knew had been staring at her. Her lip quivered as her suddenly innocent eyes never left him. He embraced her without warning, holding her tightly against him.
"I love you." he whispered, practically crushing her. She wasn't going to complain, though. She had missed how he felt against her and squeezed tightly back, reluctant to let go. She was safe with him. He missed her too in all honesty. He was stupid to hurt her and he obviously didn't deserve her, but Rachel wouldn't see that. No matter what he did, she always could forgive and still love, love with all her heart.
"I love you, too." Everything in that moment was perfect. All lies, all things that hurt, anything bad were all forgotten in that moment. There was love and only love.
Against his warm body, in that perfect moment, her phone vibrated against her leg and she reluctantly pulled away. She pulled it out, only to see the notorious Noah Puckerman calling her. She glanced up at Jesse who only nodded, although in his eyes, shone defeat.
"Yeah, Noah?" her voice was slightly shaky.
"Oh Rachel, good. Look I'm sorry I left you alone. I just needed some time to get myself together. I ain't mad, but I think we should talk."
"When?" her voice shook again and she prayed he didn't notice.
"How about before or after Glee Monday?" he asked
"Sure, Noah." she said weakly.
"Love you, Rach." Noah smiled a little bit. That smile faded when she paused.
"You too." It hit Noah hard and Rachel felt the same. The weight pressed down on both of them. After she ended the call, Jesse was there once again to hold her. He kissed her head gently.
"It's gonna be okay." he whispered gently and seriously. She whimpered against his neck a little, but did what she could to contain herself.
"I'm sorry, Jesse." she whispered, the tears welling in her eyes and she squeezed them out. He rubbed her back, knowing that none of this had to happen if he wasn't such a jackass.
"No, Rachel. I'm sorry." he whispered, too, crying with her. They held on to each other for as long as possible, that is until she heard her fathers coming home from work and opening the door. Jesse walked towards the window, but she stopped him.
"No, I have to tell them the truth. I can't hide my life from them much longer anyway." he nodded, sitting next to her on the edge of the bed and holding her hand.
"Rachel, sweetie? Who's car is that out front?" one of her fathers called.
"In my room, Dad." they found her next to Jesse and were instantly worried and confused all at once.
"I need to talk to you guys." she said informatively.
"D-don't we know this boy?" one of them questioned.
"You probably saw me at the show choir competitions. I'm the lead singer of Vocal Adrenaline." Jesse smiled. Rachel chuckled slightly.
"Anyway, he's the boy I used to date and Noah, who you probably wouldn't approve of anyway, kind of left me alone here, so Jesse came. He's a real gentleman. Noah and I are probably going to break up tomorrow anyway, though. Is...is there anyway that Jesse could stay the night? He'll be totally good, I promise." they sighed and discussed with each other through eye contact and body language.
"I guess that would be alright, Rachel. Although we disapprove of dating boys without our permission, if you're breaking up with him I guess it'll be fine. Plus, we like this boy. I remember now. Goodnight baby." They each kissed her head and heading back downstairs.
"Thank you!" she called, chuckling, leaning her head on Jesse's neck.
"So, you think you and Noah are finished? I mean you looked so happy." Jesse said after a minute or two of sweet silence.
"Yeah, but we're running thin. He-he's really been just an amazing friend, but I guess we just substituted it for love." she looked down in her hands and he held her tight.
"Thanks, Jesse. For everything." she smiled, looking up at him. He couldn't help but smile back, but it retreated.
"Rachel, please don't thank me. I've screwed up enough and I shouldn't be forgiven. You can't give up so easily. But I can promise I'll never hurt you again for as long as I live, which may not be long if Noah wants to still beat me up." Jesse laughed and Rachel giggled next to him.
"I know, Jesse. I know. And, just for the record, I never stopped loving you." she looked down again, afraid he wouldn't have felt the same. He saw her fear and tilted her chin to look at him. He didn't think twice before kissing her. He needed her in his life, whether she wanted him back or not. He needed her. She felt the same way, kissing back, never once proving to be unhappy.
Afterwards, Rachel felt bad, but not because she had cheated for a second time on Noah, but because she didn't feel bad about it. It was so wrong.
"Rachel, I-" he spoke, but she stopped him with her tiny finger.
"Don't apologize. That was as much of me as it was you. Neither of us can say we didn't want it...right?" Rachel was entirely back. She still wasn't sure if she could trust Jesse that he loved her, but she still left herself open.
"Definitely." he breathed. Rachel eventually moved to her pillow and laid down, ready to sleep and be done with the drama for today. Jesse wasn't sure what to do anymore.
"Jesse." she finally whispered and patted the space next to her. He quickly moved and laid next to her, watching her sleepy smile grow. She moved to lay on his chest and cuddled her face in his shoulder and neck. Jesse was thankful. He could smell her hair as it flooded his nose and it reminded him of what he was finally getting to experience again. He thought he'd be lucky to have her look in his eyes, or maybe a hug or two, but this - this was heaven for him.
"I love you." she whispered against his skin, her lips a centimeter from touching it. His heart raced and his breath became hitched in his chest.
"I love you too, Rachel. Goodnight." He took this as the perfect opportunity to kiss her hair and even her cheek.
Not a minute later, they were both asleep, thankful the weekend was finally upon them.
Everything could be perfect. They didn't have to worry until Monday or if Puck decided to stop by to see Rachel.
But at the moment, all was well and Jesse was happy.
He was finally forgiven.