So...sorry for not updating the fic for so long, I had some things for school so I was really really busy. That being said, I kind of lost track and my first "plot" dropped off. I am going to do a slight time jump still including that promissed "Do you love her" scene.
Xx
Dan woke up in the loft, everything still a little blury from last night. Just when he was about to get up from the bed he heared someone's high-pitched voice on the machine, urging him to pick up. It sounded like Serena, and honestly, with this hangover going on he had no time to care. In fact, at this point Dan had no time care about anyone but himself.
His clock radio tells it's 8. 8 am. Still fealing dizzy he reaches for his mobile phone, just to check if he has a call from Alessandra, about the book, maybe. Yeah. Alessandra. Because the book means naught to him at the moment. He couldn't care less about the reviews it got, or about how successful it is. In fact, the biggest failure - the better. Well maybe Eric. He heard nothing from Eric lately.
"Oh who am I kidding."
A little peek on his phone, and nothing. Not even a word from Blair Princess To Be, Waldorf. He hated this "Princess To Be" bullshit, but who is he to judge anyway? Just like Serena said, he's a Dylan Hunter himself. He wasn't really cold-blooded about her speech but, surprisingly didn't really find himself "touched" or emotionally hurt either , and that made him question his personality even more.
"Okay. So maybe I am a bad person. There is no other plausible explanation for my lack of guilt."
He was desperately trying to figure out what had happened last night, so he edgily tried to remember the details.
"Okay Humphrey, concentrate. There was a party. And not just "any" party...Blair's bridal-shower. I didn't want to go and I blew Serena off...kinda. Uh. Right. I didn't even call to let her know, so she must be peeved about that. So what did I do then? I don't even..."
Suddenly, he glances on the what-first-looks like an unknown piece of clothing but then he comes to his senses. It's Chuck's jacket. He borrowed it to him because it was cold.
It was freezing. Stairs. That bitter, fiery taste of alcohol. He could almost feel the heaviness of it, while the liquid spread into each and every cell of his body. So pleasently yet so hastily. And Chuck. That's how they humbly celebrated Blair's "bridal-shower" far away from Blair and everyone else.
*flashback*
"Alcohol, and loneliness on an empty street. That's quite a fall even for you Humphrey."
"Err." Dan murmured unwillingly rising his head, his eyes now trying to focuss on Chuck.
Chuck knit his brows and continued
"So.." he sat beside him, "Book's not doing well?"
"Book's fine." he answered shortly twinkling feeling a little blinded by the extraordinary-bright street night lightning.
"We all knew that your scribbling is not going to be an epic piece of art but a 5-minutes-of fame thing anyway. Although, you know, I'd probably join you and your commiserating if you asked." Chuck went on, and that was weird enough even for Dan. Dan to whom everything was still enough crazy and whose head was such a mess.
"Yeah? I mean I would ask you to join if the bottle wasn't almost empty."
"Well...you know that tonight is Blair's bridal shower so..." Chuck went on.
Nodding, Dan took a huge sip straight from the bottle.
Chuck gave him a quick glare, and suddenly realized something.
"You aren't.."
"What? No, no, I am not. I am just...err..well to be quite honest I maybe a little...swayed by my feelings right now. But no,nothing like..God just.."
Dan started to ramble.
"I was about to ask if you're invited to THAT" Chuck said, "But...is the reason for your grief..." he deliberately put the accent on the last word "Blair." he gulped.
"Maybe."
"Wow he must be really drunk"
The first thing that came to Chuck's mind after was Dan's speech about Blair's happiness, in a conversation they had earlier.
"You care more about Blair's happiness than I knew."
"She's happy, that's all that really matters."
Oh great what is this now, telepathy?
"Humphrey..." Chuck started carefully.
"Ya?" he asked obviously completely lost in time and space.
Chuck is having second thoughts about this one. He remembers the time when Dan and Blair hated each other. From his point of view, Blair always used to hate Dan with a great passion, and Dan was never really fond of her either. Blair would usually throw a typical-Queen-B affront to him, and he, well, he was a writer so he'd usually come up with a witty reply. And that's what their "relationship" was based on.
Then again, he knows they shared a kiss last spring. Maybe he's just being overly jealous, or speaking nonsense. Should he really bring this up?
"He's drunk, it's not like he's gonna remember we lead this conversation anyway."
So he does. He speaks loudly.
"Do you love her?"
Dan stops whatever he was doing (and that was nothing really, glancing at some group of visibly drunk people behaving out of the ordinary, who was just passing by) and turns to Chuck.
He was utterly drunk, then again sober enough to hear the question and Chuck's voice was now ringing in his head. Did this really happen?
"Wh..what?" he says perplexed by the situation.
Chuck cleans his throat. This was way harder than he had thought, but he just blurs it out like the first time.
"Do you love Blair?"
Dan is now fully-aware of the question. Chuck glares at him and he lowers his eyes remorsefully.
"Nooo..." he raises his voice so it could sound a bit more convincable. "I don't.." a voice in his head is telling him to shut up. He's a Humphrey and his thoughts are a mess and he's not very good at this... But the small voice is soon replaced by Dan's endless-rambling.
"I mean Blair and I are..."
Whoa, whoa, wait a little, BLAIR AND I?
"..complicated. Not really complicated like..that there is something, 'cause she's engaged..we have this strange connection..."
Connection?
"...and we you know..we do watch movies together, and I do.." he coughs "I mean I did.." he starts pointing at one street-lamp (just the aftermath of the state he was currently in) "I did, or do..maybe, like the way she...talks. And her silly brown hair and her..eyelashes. Or when she gets all confused. That I really like." he stops but just for a very short period of time it's not even noticable. Turning more serious, like he suddenly became more focused and concetrated he continues, "I wish I could spend a whole day in the loft, with Blair. We could watch these old-movie-classics we always.." he takes a deep breath feeling like he's suddenly become a little teary eyed..He completely loses the track of his story and somehow continues bringing up another.."and she makes herself comfortable so sometimes I watch her in her sleep and I..."
He stops right there.
Something is telling him this is wrong.
He doesn't even know now.
He wants to sleep. He desperately needs sleep. And water, and...
Everything's blury again.
*present*
Checking himself in the mirror was such a bad idea. He looks horrible. He tries to straightens in his chair, stay calm, stop worrying and get something to eat. Later he'll just take a shower and somehow figure what to do next.
One beep and here it goes again. Unlike the first few times she tried to reach him, you could tell by Serena's voice that she was extremely shirty while trying to make him answer the call.
It didn't work, of course; He didn't need another conversation with Serena 'cause it would lead nowhere. As if his life, the direction it took on (especially lately), lead somewhere anyway.
In that moment, his mobile rang.
Even better. Chuck.
He felt obligated to answer this one though. After taking a deep breath he pressed the green button.
"Hey." he said shortly.
"Humphrey, do me a favour and spare me your kindliness, 'cause I'm so not in the mood for that right now. And won't be. Ever, just so it's clear."
"I'm assuming you want your jacket back? Or you want to know where can you find some real food for Monkey..."
"No. What my jacket it doing at your place anyway?" he replied, but of course he knew!
"Um. I don't know."
"How comes?" Chuck said sarcastically, which made Dan feel even more guilty for last night.
"Listen, usually, you know I'm not your biggest fan, but I think I need your help...I need you to answer some questions, it's not a lot I'm asking."
Silence.
"What do you want?"
"I need you to tell me...what happened last night after I..."
"Had your little love confession?"
Dan could swore his heart stopped beating for a second or two. He swallowed.
"What?"
"You had some kind of enlightenment about your feelings Blair, but don't worry I'm just going to stick to my bussiness and pretend it never happened."
"You should, 'cause I don't even know what I said. It was all a huge mistake...that I don't even remember making."
"Whatever."
*flashback*
"So now I'm visiting a shrink to help me out with my problems. I've suffered enough and feel a little...lonely."
He didn't like the word "lonely", Chuck Bass is, Chuck Bass. He is never lonely.
Only the truth is, I am always lonely. The only person who always really cared about me is the one I couldn't even keep in my life. The one I hurt so much. I did everything wrong. I remember telling this to my shrink, who strongly recommended to have a talk. An honest, opened conversation with someone, to clear my head and get rid of my problems, if possible. I just never thought that "THAT" person is going to be a entirely-drunken Dan Humphrey.
"Wow..." Dan barely managed to say this in a very quiet voice.
Chuck nodded as a sign of approval. Dan Humphrey may not be that bad after all.
"I have a meeting with Dorota and my daddd soon, I gotta hurry" Dan said all of a sudden trying to stand up. Every bone in his body hurt and he felt quite giddy.
"It's almost 4 am Humphrey."
"I knowww I'll be latee."
Chuck rolled his eyes a little.
2 years ago he left Dan on the street, without anything. Literally.
Things have changed, and since he's trying to work out his problems he assumed that doing something good couldn't do any harm.
"The only place you need to be in right now is your bed. And shut up until I change my mind."
*present*
Bridal shower was one of the most horrible and tiring events Blair Waldorf has ever organized. Of course, she'd have to be cracked, her mind would have to be seriously damaged if she decided to admit such thing. She was fed up with everything, the idea of Royal wedding is nothing but loads of dull events. On these parties and receptions she began to bitterly fake-smiles and nods her head to everyone that it almost became a part of the "ritual".
"Miss Blair you got an invitation for..."
"What is it now?" she said grudgingly.
"A party with your friends. Something like a masked ball, I checked and all of them will be attending." she coughed.
"What are you implying? As a matter of fact I couldn't care less about Dan The Social Climber Humphrey and his book for clots."
"Mr Humphrey won't be attending" she said softly.
"Oh." Blair pursed her lips with a slight dose of disappointment in her voice. "Better."
"Miss Blair there's also something..."
"Yes"
"Mr Louis said he would like you to skip on this one. He said he wants to have a serious talk about something."
What? Who is he to tell me such thing?
"Oh."
NOTE :
It's becoming a little AU. The crapology (Chuck's 5x06 apology didn't happen/nor did Derena scenes). I am also kind of redeeming Chuck, in the way I feel is more right. But since I don't really like Chuck it's for a very short period of time. I'll soon bring up my favorite bromance (Date) though.
Later on I'm also going to explore Blair's feelings, since I am seriously inspired by that new Dair spoiler. It's totally positive and good for our ship, despite the fact the past episode was shitting all over I'm still hoping for the best.
Oh and. Reviews are love.
Should I continue? What to change?
Hit the review button!
xoxo