VI Sleep

Zack sighed as he gently set Aerith down on his couch. His mind was whirling once again, the constant stream of thoughts and emotions nearly unbearable. He knew it was extremely stupid for him to bring her home like this, especially considering that she could wake up at any moment and see him, but he hadn't been able to leave her there like that. He hadn't seen Fenrir outside, so he had no idea that Cloud had been nearby at all.

He had called Tseng on his way home, once again gave a short explanation to what happened, and asked him to come by and take Aerith home safely. He would be here any moment now, and Zack would still remain dead to her.

However, another part of him wanted her to wake up before he came. He wanted her to let her know that he was alive after all, that he still missed her dearly and wanted to be with her. But he was still afraid. Afraid of rejection, afraid that she would want to stay as far away from him as possible after finding out what he was. He didn't want to take that chance, for he would be forever heart broken if it did turn out like that.

"You're so beautiful," he said softly as he gently stroked her face with a gloved hand.

He smiled as he took in her face again, glad that the only change over the years was the fact that she seemed to have grown even more beautiful. She even still wore that pink ribbon that he had gotten her long ago, and he could tell from the faded color and beginnings of tears and holes that she was planning to wear it to shreds.

"You still miss me, don't you?" he asked her, heart heavy with guilt for being selfish like this.

His heart begged him to take that chance, telling him that she would accept him for who he was on the inside, and not care about the rest, but he wouldn't listen. He could admit that it could be like that, but he wasn't willing to take the risk.

He winced from the sudden pain from his injuries, and realized he should take care of them while he was waiting for Tseng. They weren't deep, and the bleeding had stopped so there wasn't any need to go to the energy room or hospital. He would just swab some rubbing alcohol on to prevent infection, and heal it up with his cure materia. Problem gone.

"Sleep well, my angel."

She stirred a bit when he kissed her softly on the cheek, but didn't wake. Seeing that things would be fine he headed toward the bathroom to take care of his wounds.

Aerith opened her eyes moments later. She looked around as she sat up slowly, trying to figure out where she was. The last thing she remembered was hiding in the church from the monster that Cloud was fighting when two more suddenly came crashing through the wall. Everything after that was blank, but the back of her head hurt, so she guessed that she'd been injured somehow.

"Hello?" she called as she got up and began walking around the apartment. "Cloud?"

Where was he? Did he bring her here? And where was 'here' anyway? Nothing looked familiar inside, so she peaked out the nearest window and was relieved to see that she was back in Edge. She decided to look around some more, and see if whoever brought her here was home.

Noting that the bedroom door was open, she poked her head in with caution and gasped at what she saw. A large cork board covered one of the walls, and on it were each and every one of her letters that she wrote to Zack. At first she didn't believe her eyes, and thought for sure it was all a dream, but as she looked closely at the hand writing and felt the texture of the paper she knew that is was all real.

"Zack..."

A single tear fell from her eye. He was here, he was alive.

He was hiding in the bathroom, trying not to panic. He had just finished healing his wound with his cure materia when he had heard her get up and moved around. He closed the bathroom door slowly and as quietly as possible, glad that it didn't squeak.

He sighed from relief, and felt like hitting his head on the wall. God, he felt so pathetic. Here he was, hiding in the bathroom from the woman he loved. Never did he picture himself doing something like this. He had three options, and he didn't really like any of them. He could wait until Tseng arrived, then Aerith wouldn't notice him at all, but he had heard her go into his room, and knew that she had by now spotted the letters on the wall. He knew there was no way she was leaving without answers.

He could knock her out again, but there was no way he was hurting her. That left him with the only option left: to take the chance and let her see him. He sighed as he grabbed a fresh shirt from the laundry, then slid it on and tucked his wing inside it in the process. Never in his life had be been so nervous before.

He made sure that he gloves were on as well, then slowly opened the door. He saw Aerith in his room with her back to him, so he slowly stepped in. Out of the corner of his eye he saw his Sleep materia on the end table, and realized that he could use it on her without harming her in any way, and get himself out of this situation. It was cowardly, and he knew there wasn't any honor in running away, but it would work. He quietly snatched it up, but before he could go any further Aerith spun around and saw him.

"Zack..."

Tears fell from her eyes, but he knew they were tears of joy.

"It is really you, isn't it?" she asked as she approached him cautiously.

"Yeah..."

She reached out to touch him, to make sure that he was indeed real, then embraced him tightly as more tears slid down her face.

"I missed you so much..."

"I know," he whispered to her, hesitating to hug her back.

He missed her greatly too. The warm soft feeling of her close to him, the sweet scent of her skin and hair, he had almost forgotten what that had been like. For that moment, he forgot what he was. He felt completely human again, and wanted that moment to last forever. When he was brought back to the cold hard world of reality, he pulled away.

"Zack?"

"I'm sorry," he apologized softly, keeping his eyes downcast and away from her. He wanted to be with her more than anything, but his fear prevented that.

"Zack, please, tell me what's wrong," she pleaded.

She reached out to him once more, but he stepped away. Her face fell, and her heart ached as he purposely tried to get away from her. He had never done that before, she had never seen him like this.

"I'm sorry," he apologized again, turning away from her completely. "I just, I can't-"

Be with you anymore.

He couldn't bring himself to say it, for he knew that those words would crush both of them.

"Zack..."

She gently placed her hand on his shoulder. Something was definitely wrong, why else would he pretend to be dead all these years?

"You can tell me anything, Zack," she assured him.

He still wouldn't look at her.

"I...I'm not-"

Human anymore.

He was to afraid to let it all come out. It would end things between them permanently, and he wouldn't be able to hide it for long if the stayed close. He had to stay dead. He felt the materia in his hand, and knew that it was the only way to keep things the way they were.

"Please forgive me, Aerith," he said as he cast it on her, and caught her now sleeping form in his arms.

When she woke up, she would be safe at home, and the rest of it would be a dream.

Author's Notes

Yeah I bet you guys hate me for messing with you like this. However it's pretty obvious that Zack isn't gonna be able to stay "dead" to Cloud and Aerith for much longer. In fact, I've actually changed the plans slightly to make it a chapter sooner. Also, would the reviewer Bananas in Pajamas please make an account or log in so I can answer you're questions? Due to my procrastination, I have only barely started the next chapter, so it's probably gonna take a couple weeks.