Title: Those Crazy Cheerios
Author: QuickFan09
Summary: Brittany is a genius, Santana is a raging lesbian, and Quinn is borderline psychotic. Now what does Sue Sylvester have to due with this?
Ratings: PG-13 for language
Spoilers: Let's just say up until the season two finale to be safe. Takes place somewhere between the Super bowl episode and Nationals.
Disclaimer: Owning Glee was on my To-Do list but I never got around to it so don't sue me.
AN: So I said that this chapter would have the club talking to Sue but that would have made it really long so that will be in the next chapter.
Happy Reading!
The glee clubbers, minus Quinn, Santana and Brittany, were assembled in the choir room looking at Rachel with anticipation.
"So you're all probably wondering why I've called you here" Rachel addressed the room.
"You wanted to talk about what's going on with Quinn, Santana and Brittany?" Sam said.
"Yes, how did you know that?" Rachel questioned.
"They're the only ones that are not here, it's kind of obvious." Lauren quipped.
"Oh, okay. Well as I'm sure you've all noticed there is something going on with them."
There were several murmurs of agreement.
"Brittany transferred into all of my honors classes" Artie said blandly. Everyone looked to the bespectacled by with confusion.
"How could she even do that?" Puck asked. "There's only one person in this school who skips more class than Puckzilla and that's Brittany."
"I don't know but she sat in the front and answered every question. She was right too!" He said with disbelief.
"Okay, okay" Rachel said with excitement as she grabbed a dry erase marker. "So Brittany is suddenly smart" She wrote 'Brittany— Smart' at the top of the board. "What about Santana?"
"I'm pretty sure everyone's noticed how she's hitting on every girl in the school" Finn said.
"Yes she's become quite animalistic" Kurt added.
"Girl's gone crazy" Mercedes said. "I mean we've all seen her with Brittany but she's going a little overboard lately"
"I don't mind. In fact I think all the girls should start acting like Santana… in the hallways… by my locker" Puck trailed off.
"Noah you're a pig" Rachel said turning to the board and writing 'Santana—Super Lesbian'
"Super Lesbian?" Finn asked.
"Well I didn't want to just write 'Lesbian' because that wouldn't really be a problem. She's becoming almost predatory in her fixation with women and it's interfering with her normal behavior." Rachel reasoned.
"Now what about Quinn?"
"Bat shit crazy" Noah said immediately. Everyone else nodded there agreement.
"Yeah I mean, she's my girlfriend and all but she's been spending a lot more time being 'scary Quinn' lately" Finn said.
"She's freaking out a lot more than usual" Mike added.
"It's not just that. I saw her in the bathroom the other day and I swear I heard her crying before she came out of the stall." Tina said.
Rachel wrote 'Quinn— Crazy' on the board and turned around. "Alright so what could be causing the three of them to be acting so strange?"
"Maybe it's just a chick thing?" Finn suggested. Rachel, Tina, Mercedes and Lauren looked at him with annoyance. "O-or not" he said quickly.
"When did everyone start to notice them changing?" Kurt asked. "I don't remember them being like this when I transferred."
"Right we'll make a timeline!" Rachel exclaimed turning to the board again writing 'Kurt Transfer—Normal'
"Brittany was definitely normal around Christmas" Artie said.
"Yeah so was Santana because I remember her flirting with me" Finn said earning a hurt look from Rachel as she wrote 'Christmas – Normal'.
"Do you think they did something over break?" Mercedes asked.
"No I was with Quinn a lot and she was fine." Sam answered. "She really started to get weird around the end of the football season actually" He continued thoughtfully. "That's when she cheated on me at least." He frowned.
"Brittany started getting organized around that time too" Puck said. "Remember she did a bunch of fashion stuff with a magazine?"
"Yes I remember reading her article" Kurt said with distaste "That was one style I was glad to see swept away so quickly."
"Santana too" Mike said. "Remember alcohol awareness week? She was doing body shots of off Brittany at Rachel's party."
"She freaked out on me at the party too!" Sam exclaimed "She started yelling about how great Quinn was!"
"And me and Quinn yelled at Puck for being such a dumbass!" Lauren said triumphantly.
"Hey!" Puck said in a hurt tone.
"Okay, okay slow down!" Rachel said "We'll have to work backwards"
She wrote 'Holiday Break—Normal', 'End of Football—Changed (Quinn)', After V-day—Changed (Brittany)', and 'Alcohol Awareness—Changed (Brittany, Santana)'.
"So it looks like they started to change around the end of football season" Rachel commented thoughtfully. "But why?"
"Maybe they were sad that they couldn't cheer for the team anymore?" Finn said encouragingly.
"No, no because they still had." She stopped short looking shocked "Nationals" she whispered.
Everyone shared a confused look.
"Don't you remember?" Rachel demanded. "They weren't going to be at the game because they had to go to Nationals. They quit glee and everything. But then they came back because—"
"They quit the Cheerios!" Finn finished. "That's it! Whatever is going on with them has to do with the Cheerios!"
"How could that possibly be?" Tina said. "Quitting a club doesn't make you go nuts."
Finn deflated a little "Maybe it's because they aren't exercising as much?"
"No me and Sam still see them at the gym on the weekends" Puck retorted.
"You two were on the Cheerios do you remember anything weird going on?" Rachel asked Kurt and Mercedes.
"You're kidding right?" Kurt said. "There are plenty of weird things going on with the Cheerios."
"Yeah like the crazy workouts, constant dieting, and emotional abuse from Sylvester." Mercedes said with a frown.
"If you take that away though it wouldn't make you crazy" Kurt reasoned "It would probably make you saner"
"There's still something off about them though" Mercedes said thoughtfully. "Do you guys remember when we leaked that video of coach Sylvester? All the Cheerios were hysterical."
"Then there must be something you're not telling us." Rachel accused.
"We've told you everything… unless" Kurt trailed off.
"Unless what?" Finn said, practically on the edge of his seat.
"The vitamins" Kurt said plainly.
"Vitamins?" Puck said doubtfully.
"Yes, Coach gave us vitamins everyday. I can't think of anything else that could cause any damage."
"But I thought vitamins were good for you?" Finn said furrowing his eyebrows.
"They are." Sam reassured him.
"Then they must not be vitamins" Rachel said confidently "I think you know what we need to do"
Everyone gave her blank stares.
"We have to talk to Coach Sylvester"
AN: Alright so now we have some stuff going on. What did you think? Good, Bad, Ugly? Review and let me know.