Title: Those Crazy Cheerios

Author: QuickFan09

Summary: Brittany is a genius, Santana is a raging lesbian, and Quinn is borderline psychotic. Now what does Sue Sylvester have to due with this?

Ratings: PG-13 for language

Spoilers: Let's just say up until the season two finale to be safe. Takes place somewhere between the Super bowl episode and Nationals.

Disclaimer: Owning Glee was on my To-Do list but I never got around to it so don't sue me.

AN: I'm so so so so sorry for not updating for so long! It's been a busy semester. I hope those who were reading continue to do so and let me know what they think! I tried to make this chapter longer to make up for lost time. Also I think I'll be able to wrap this story up in about two chapters but there may be some drama coming up in the next one. And beware the ending that I have in my head right now is extremely cheesy but I will try to make it hilarious. Okay I'll let you read now!

"Sex Shark to Jewish American Princess, we have Baby Mama visual."

"Noah, how many times do I have to tell you that we are not using code names?" Rachel whisper yelled into her walkie talkie. "and besides you're only on the other end of the hallway, I can see Quinn to"

"Why are we using walkie talkies anyway?" Mercedes' voice crackled through the receiver.

"Because they're bad ass, duh"

"Why don't we just use our cell phones?"

"Because, Mercedes, this is a special mission" Puck replied seriously.
"You do know that this isn't Call of Duty right?"
"Guys, Quinn's leaving her locker"
"Duh, if it was I'd be having fun not getting yelled at"
"Seriously guys, Quinn's moving!"
"Boy if you don't quit that attitude you really won't be having fun"
"Noah, Quinn's coming right for you!" Rachel said anxiously.
"Yea? What are you gonna do?"
"Gonna smack you on the head for sure"
"Why do you have a walkie talkie?" Quinn's suspicious tone rang out.
Oh no Rachel internally panicked.
"Oh, hey Baby Mama" Rachel heard a smack and saw puck cower "sorry Quinn, just taking Call of Duty to the next level."
"with Mercedes?"

God I can practically hear her eyebrow raising from here Rachel thought How can I get us out of this mess?

"Man on the foreground! Back up mayday mayday. 10 – 4. I need some assistance! Noah where are you?" Rachel frantically called into the receiver. Don't screw this up Noah!

"Rachel's playing too? What's going on?"

"Uh umm listen Quinn, obviously Rachel needs my help so" Puck turned and hurried down the hallway. "When this is done we are so fixing this new problem" Puck whispered while motioning to the petite singer. "You sounded ridiculous." and with that he continued down the corridor.

"I still don't understand why we are using walkie talkies. I'm turning this thing off"

Rachel sighed, "I guess I'll have to come up with a new plan" she grumbled.

"What are you guys up to?" an accusatory voice cut through the air.

Rachel jumped. "Quinn! Y-you startled me!"

"You, Puck and Mercedes playing Call of Duty? I don't think so. What's going on?" Quinn demanded with a glare.

"Quinn! I am offended! I am simply trying to better glee club by taking an interest in my teammates' hobbies!" Rachel huffed.

Quinn studied the petite girl before rolling her eyes. "Whatever. Just know that I'll be keeping an eye on the three of you"

Rachel let out a breath as Quinn turned to walk away. Hopefully everyone else is having better luck with Brittany and Santana.

Later...

"Okay, so what did everyone find out today?" Rachel said cheerfully.

"Santana is absolutely frightening" Kurt replied with a horrified expression.

"She made me feel like a piece of meat" Sam added.

"Hello Santana, I was thinking, we haven't really chatted since I got back from Dalton. How would you like to go to the Lima Bean after school."

"Look I'm in the middle of-" A disinterested Santana turned to Kurt. "Oh, it's you" her face lit up.

"Um yes, it's me so what do you say?" Kurt asked a little nervously.

"Hmm" Santana licked her lips. "Hows about me and you substitute 'The Lima Bean' for the janitor's closet and put those soft girlish hands to use?" She leaned a little closer to the nauseous boy.

Kurt made a signal and distanced himself from Santana as Sam stepped in.

"The force is strong with this one" he said in his best James Earl Jones voice. Kurt face palmed as his perfect plan fell to pieces.

"Hey Lady Lips, long time no kiss. What do you say? Me, you, janitor's closet? We can even let pretty palms watch." Both boys shuddered as Lauren stepped in front of Sam.

"Listen, you need to calm yourself down before I kick your ass down this hallway again."

"Not the best choice I could make but, eh, you can throw me up against these lockers anytime." She said with a wink.

"She's hopeless" Lauren announced to the still shell shocked boys.

"I mean it she's hopeless" Lauren said flatly as she opened a bag of chips.

"Come on guys we've got to figure this out!" Rachel stamped her foot. "Finn what did you guys find out about Brittany?" she asked hopefully.

"She's going to destroy the world by making everyone's heads explode" he said while rubbing his temples.

"She's actually not that bad. It's just that she can't seem to focus, it's like her brain just keeps going" Mike explained.

"Yea, it's like she just needs to relax" Tina added.

"Well, did she say anything that might have indicated what would calm her down?"

"I could make pot cupcakes again!" Puck suddenly shouted.

"What do you mean again? When did you make them before?" Artie inquired.

"Nothing, never mind. So what did Brittany say?" Puck said slouching in his chair.

"So Finn, as you can see, if you had the football team perform these simple plays you could improve your playing by up to two hundred percent!"

"Please stop talking. I'm begging you!" Finn pleaded.

"Let us help you out buddy. We're Asian, we got this." Mike clapped Finn on the back as he and Tina approached Brittany.

"Hey Britt, how did you like advanced Calc this morning?" Tina asked.

"Truthfully, I feel that Miss Peterson is giving a valiant effort, but is doing an inferior job. I don't think she understands the first thing about Calculus."

"Yea, she does seem a little confused." Mike interjected "Hey, you know we haven't really danced together lately. Want to get together after school?"

"I'd really love to Mike but I'm writing a paper on an idea I have for curing Restless Leg Syndrome. By the way you two should really check on Finn I think he's having some sort of psychotic break." With that Brittany hurried down the hallway organizing papers as she walked.

Tina and Mike looked back and saw Finn sitting against a row of lockers cradling his head in his hands.

"Maybe this is going to be harder than we thought" They said together.

"So we don't know anything about Quinn, Santana or Brittany?" Rachel asked.

"Looks like it toots" Lauren quipped.

"Wait a minute I think I might know what can stop Brittany." Artie said thoughtfully.

"Oh thank God!" Finn exclaimed.

"Well, what was it?"