Summary: In which Castle answers questions about his marriages, Johanna Beckett is remembered, and a dance is shared. Spoilers for 4x11.

Author's Note: I am just floored by the response to this story. You guys are so awesome, and getting involved in the Castle fandom was definitely one of my best decisions of 2011. So thank you for being so supportive and encouraging and most of all, thank you for giving me a place to share my work. And now that I'm done being all sentimental, I present to you my first chapter of 2012!

Disclaimer: Despite my best efforts, I still lay no claim to Castle and its characters.

Chapter 3

A couple of hours later, the party was winding down and guests were gradually filtering out. Esposito and Lanie had left just a few minutes before and Castle was gathering up their jackets while Kate said her congratulations and good-byes to Ryan and Jenny.

Castle joined them a minute later and did not think twice about stepping up behind Kate and helping her into her jacket. She accepted his assistance willingly, rolling her eyes at Ryan when he raised an eyebrow. She could tell he was biting his tongue to hold back whatever comment was on his mind, but when Castle gently removed her hair from her collar, his fingers brushing her neck in the process, Kate shivered, and that was all the answer Ryan needed.

While Kate buttoned up her jacket, Castle hugged Jenny and shook Ryan's hand, wishing them the best and making Ryan promise to bring him back something from Hawaii. Kate rolled her eyes at his childish excitement, but as they stepped outside and he offered his arm, she found that his smile was quite contagious. She was almost positive she too was grinning like an idiot. Of course that had nothing to do with the fact that she had just spent an evening in very close proximity with Castle and that he had been nothing but sweet to her. And despite her earlier emotional confusion, she only feeling flowing through her right now was happiness.

"Home?" Castle asked, tearing her from her thoughts as they approached the curb, intending to hail a taxi.

"Where else would I go?"

Castle shrugged. "We could go grab some food."

Kate put her hands to her stomach. "I'm too full for that.

"Coffee?"

She smiled. "That sounds good."

"Perfect." Castle tugged on her arm, guiding her across the street and down the block. "There's a place just around the corner."

"Ahh, It feels so good to sit down," Kate lamented as they slid into a booth by the window a few minutes later, coffee cups in hand. "My feet are killing me."

"Yeah," Castle agreed, tossing his jacket down onto the booth next to him. "That was a lot of standing and dancing."

"Mmm, it was such a beautiful wedding, though," Kate said softly.

"It was."

"Was that what yours were like?"

Well, crap. She had not exactly meant to ask that. Her brain to mouth filter still seemed to be seriously lacking tonight.

Castle chuckled, seeming unfazed by the question, for which Kate was thankful. "Not at all. My wedding with Meredith was basically her wanting to put on a big, dramatic, expensive show. With Gina, it was all about the media frenzy. Honestly, it was like a circus."

"You don't sound too thrilled," Kate observed.

Castle sipped his coffee. "Well, I already told you I wasn't getting married for the right reasons. And in retrospect, the fact that both of them wanted big fancy weddings just because we could afford it should have been my first clue. Meredith wanted a fun and rich and over-the-top lifestyle. Gina wanted money. But if I did it again, it wouldn't be a big show because I know now that that's not what a wedding should be."

Kate raised her eyebrows. "When did you get so mature and sensible?"

"I don't know," he replied teasingly. "This detective dragged me into her police station one day and captured my attention. I think that's where it all started."

Kate blushed slightly, but to her credit, she did not shy away.

"You really have grown up a lot," she mused, almost to herself, as she swirled her coffee around, staring at the spiral pattern in the liquid.

Castle was not sure he was supposed to have heard her, but he replied anyways. "Well, working with the police will do that to a person. I don't think I ever really had to face a harsh reality before that, you know? I mean, I went through divorces, but other than that, I had a pretty sweet life."

A flash of guilt ran through her at his words. Yes, when they met, he had definitely needed to grow up a bit, but his childlike excitement and ability to lighten just about any atmosphere was one of the things she liked about him and she felt a bad to be the one responsible for exposing him to the things she saw, for dragging him into a world in which most people in it carried heavy burdens.

But she had to admit, she liked this mature side of him as well, the sweet man who was a father to Alexis and the best partner she could ever ask for. Kate shook her head. She did not just like that side of him...she loved it. So much. There was no point denying it to herself anymore, not since her shooting, but definitely not after tonight. The evening had been a sneak peek of a future that Kate so desperately wanted, and after dancing in his arms for probably at least an hour, nobody would believe her if she tried to deny that she was head over heels in love with him.

Kate covered his hand with her own on the table, suddenly feeling the need for physical contact. She had become accustomed to it this evening and now that they were not connected in some form, she found herself missing it. A lot. More than she wanted to admit.

"Don't grow up too much, okay?"

He grinned, the corners of his eyes crinkling in that endearing way and flipped his hand over to twine their fingers together. "Like that's possible."

Kate laughed...full out laughed...throwing her head back, her hair falling over her shoulders and tumbling down her back, her mouth open and smiling. God, she looked so beautiful when she laughed. She was always beautiful to him, but right now, she looked absolutely radiant.

Castle was so completely lost in the moment, in her, that he did not register that she had stopped laughing and was fixing him with an expression that went from curious to slightly disapproving when his gaze remained glued to her face.

She squeezed his hand to get his attention but he only half reacted to the movement.

"Castle."

He jerked in surprise. "What?"

"You're staring."

"Sorry," he replied automatically.

"No you're not," Kate retorted.

He shrugged. "You're right, I'm not."

The way the city lights were shining through the window was entrancing. Her face was glowing a soft orange and her eyes were shimmering. How could he ever be sorry for staring at her when she looked like that? He was completely captivated.

"Castle," she called again.

"Hmmm?"

Kate glanced around behind her, trying to figure out what had caught his attention so intensely. "What could possibly be so interesting?"

He shook his head. She honestly did not know, did she? She had no idea how beautiful she was. He could stare at her all day, and from the looks she had received from some of the other men at the wedding tonight, he was not the only one.

"It's just...the way the light is hitting your face right now..." He knew he was toeing a fragile line, but things were different tonight, somehow, and he could not restrain himself any longer. "You're so gorgeous, Kate."

She could not look away quickly enough to hide the blood that rushed to her cheeks.

Kate was not clueless; she had been called everything from beautiful to sexy to hot. She was very comfortable how she looked and had certainly used it to her advantage when she was undercover. But very rarely had anyone ever commented on her looks with such a level of reverence in their voice.

He was not the only man who had ever stared at her, but no one had ever been so fascinated by her that they could spend more than three years admiring her. Then again, no one had ever stuck around for three years before.

She could still feel the heat in her cheeks and neck but she forced herself to look up, to meet his adoring gaze. Kate was pretty sure that the emotions in his eyes made her blush deepen.

"I...thank you," she stammered in reply.

He knew Kate was not easily flustered; in fact, the last time he had seen her like this had been when she feared that Natalie Rhodes was going to take over her identity. At that time, it had been hilarious to watch, and he had let her know that he thought so. Now, he felt a sense of pride, knowing that he had the power to derail the normally unflappable detective. However, now was not the time to bask in it or tease her. Castle was notorious for ruining the moment, but this was one he would like to savor in its unblemished form.

"Kate," he called softly.

Her eyes had drifted away from his again but she forced them back. "Hmmm?"

"You know I'm serious, right?"

Kate squeezed his hand softly and nodded. She had no reason to doubt his word, and his eyes were completely honest. "Yeah."

"Good. Because I am, Kate."

She smiled shyly, the adorable one that slowly lit up her face, and Castle returned it with a grin of his own. However, that seemed to be her limit on sweet sappy moments because she slid out of the booth then, releasing her grasp on his hand. Castle immediately missed its warmth.

She adjusted her dress, grabbed her coat, and waggled her empty cup at him as she stood. "Ready?"

No, he was not. This was a twenty-four hour coffee shop and he could easily spend all night here, talking and laughing and just watching her. And maybe someday, he would have that option, would be able to spend all night gazing at her. But not tonight. Not yet. They were getting there, but they had a ways to go before he and Kate would be spending the night together.

"Yeah," he lied as he stood, hoping he successfully masked his disappointment.

They deposited their garbage in the receptacles and pulled on their jackets as they left the shop. Castle offered his arm as they stepped back out into the brisk night air and Kate took it without hesitation, a gentle smile gracing her features.

And when they walked around the corner and were hit with a cold breeze and Kate automatically leaned into his side, Castle wondered if maybe spending the night with her in his arms was not so far off after all.

Happy New Year!

Thoughts?