The Twelve Days of Christmas

The Christmas Wishes

We had just returned from eating dinner in a small town, a few miles away, and I watched as the younger kids awkwardly went to their separate rooms without a single word uttered. I realized I must have really freaked them out today with my little "episode."

Ella pulled Iggy along to her room down the hall… I don't even want to think about the reason why…

And Fang didn't even come into the cabin; he settled for a seat on the porch, gazing at half-melted remnants of the snow angels we made last week. He'd been quieter than usual on the flight home…

This day just keeps getting better…

Excuse me for a moment while I go get a mop; I've spilled sarcasm all over the floor.

Two hours earlier…

We had officially run out of things to do at the cabin and the heater was still out of commission, so we decided to go find someplace to eat out.

When we landed in front of the small diner, I sighed. "Looks like there's a long wait, guys. You wait here and I'll see if they have a table for seven," I told them.

I walked in, trying to look casual, and stepped up to the seating attendant, who had his gaze focused down at a chart he was scribbling on. "Excuse me, how long is the wait for seven people?"

"Thirty-five to fifty minutes, ma'am," he replied automatically. I nodded, even though he didn't lift his eyes. When he did look up, he did a double take, giving me a once-over. I immediately felt violated by his scrutinizing gaze, but before I had time to snap at him with something witty, he said, "But for you, five minutes." He winked after he spoke, making my skin crawl. Who did this creep think he was?

Out of nowhere, Fang appeared beside me, scowling at McCreepy.

I shot him an I-can-handle-it-myself kind of glare.

"Hey fella, I don't think the little lady needs you here right now," the attendant said, a smug look marring his already foul appearance.

I clenched my fist at my side, ready to throw him a blow if he tried anything frisky. Fang, of course, noticed and took my hand in his, probably figuring I'd cause quite a scene if I punched this guy… Or maybe he just wanted to do it himself…

"And who are you anyway?" he asked Fang snidely.

"Her br–oyfriend," he answered, calmly smirking. I cocked an eyebrow at him, but let his comment slide because the attendant looked like he finally got the hint to back off.

Unfortunately, we had to wait the thirty-five minutes like he had originally projected, so when we were finally seated, we all ordered our food immediately. We waited impatiently for the servers to deliver it to out table and when it all arrived, we dug in like cannibals… with the exception of Ella, who had slightly better manners than us.

"Max, if you could get anything in the world for Christmas, what would you want?" Angel asked suddenly.

I thought about it. Hm… Anything? "I–"

"I'd want a video game system and a huge TV!" Gazzy interrupted, wild excitement sparkling in his eyes.

I smiled at his enthusiasm, unwilling to burst his bubble by telling him there was no way we could carry something of that magnitude with us, not to mention the fact that we usually don't even have electricity readily available…

"Make-up! I want to make myself look older than eleven years," Nudge said, while trying to catch her reflection in the shiny butter knife she held in front of her face.

"Nudge, you already look older than most eleven-year-olds," I reminded her. "Besides, you don't need make-up. You're a very pretty girl."

She beamed at my statement and I was glad that even if I couldn't give her all of the tangible things she wanted, I could still make her smile.

"I think I'd like a new iPod. I dropped the one Dr. Martinez gave me a few months ago sometime when we were flying," Iggy frowned. At least he wanted something of a more sensible size than Gazzy did.

I then watched as Ella slid her fingers over the hand Iggy rested on the table. "You can borrow mine, Ig, if you'd like," she smiled. His unseeing eyes somehow found hers and he smiled back.

I sighed and turned my gaze to Angel. "What would you want for Christmas, sweetie?" I asked her.

She appeared to be deep in thought for a moment, but then she just shrugged…

"C'mon. There has to be something you'd like," I paused, thinking for a second. "A new friend for Celeste, maybe?"

Angel glanced down at her plate and poked at her food absently, before she spoke in a quiet, shy voice. "I want us to not have to run anymore. I want it to always be just like these last few weeks, sleeping in beds and laughing together. I know that's a lot to ask for and I know it won't happen anytime soon… but that's what I want."

A split second after she finished, I felt a lump in my throat. When she looked up, I tried to smile at her, but it was tight and forced.

Silence had befallen our table with everyone unsure of how to respond to Angel's Christmas wish. Even Fang looked uncomfortable.

What was I supposed to say to that? I felt tears surfacing, knowing I couldn't promise her that we would be completely safe one day and able to live as a family in a stable home… Oh God, how I wished I could promise her that, but we didn't even know when we might be attacked next or when our expiration dates might arrive…

Most little girls ask for dolls or a puppy, don't they? And here, all that our little girl wanted was to be safe…

The dam was cracking and I had to escape before the Flock bore witness to the flood. I wordlessly excused myself from the table, carefully assuring that I made eye contact with no one, and left the diner.

I made it three steps beyond the entryway before the tears overflowed… I kept walking, wanting to get as far away as possible from the windows I could be seen from. I noticed there was a large oak tree just past the edge of the parking lot, so I walked over to it and slumped against the side facing away from the diner.

I hate this, I kept thinking to myself as I silently sobbed, covering my face with my hands.

Not even a minute later, I was startled by someone's touch… a hand rested lightly on my arm and I peeked out from behind my fingers. Through tear-blurred vision, I saw Fang standing in front of me, watching me break down for – what was it, the fourth time in the past six months?

He barely hesitated before enclosing me in a very un-Fang like embrace. He tried to ease the tears away by gently rubbing my back, but even though it was comforting, they continued to spill out, leaving a salty wet patch where my face was pressed against him.

Eventually, I was reduced to dry sobs…

"No six-year-old should ever have to want that for Christmas. She should have it without having to ask for it," I whispered into his shirt, thinking my voice would break if I spoke with any volume.

Fang said nothing in response, but I knew he understood. I drew in a ragged, snuffly breath and continued to lean into him, not wanting to go back into that diner and face Angel… or the other kids, for that matter.

"I can't give her that. I wish I could…"

"It's okay, Max. She knows," Fang said in a quiet voice, still rubbing my back soothingly. I felt him kiss my hair.

A moment later, I pulled away from him, feeling embarrassed…

"I'm sor–" I started, but was cut off when he pressed his finger to my lips, shaking his head.

"It's not your fault," he assured me, letting his hand fall back to his side when he was certain I wouldn't argue.

I took a deep breath and we stayed there for a moment, enjoying a peaceful silence…

"Thanks, broyfriend," I smiled half-heartedly, wiping away any traces of moisture from my face.

Fang shrugged, chuckling softly at my comment, before we started walking back into the diner. I plastered on a brave, happy face as we approached our table and returned to our seats.

The younger kids looked at me nervously, wondering if they'd upset me if they said anything, I'm sure… I instantly regretted walking off like that, with no explanation… I could have at least lied and said I needed to use the bathroom…

"Max, can we go back to the cabin now?" she asked, clutching Celeste in her lap.

I smiled sadly at her. "Whatever you want, sweetie. Whatever you want."

Big thanks to the following people who gave suggestions for this chapter:

maximumcullenxxx (If anyone else suggested this, too, you can yell at me for forgetting.)

So… sorry this took so long. Not sure if it was worth the wait. What say you?

Three more chapters… until the END. Although I honestly might not get another three chapters out of my head...

New chapter of Solace coming up first, though… I think…