Chin sat in the chair, feeling numb. It was like his brain had been microwaved on high so that it had liquidated into a pathetic puddle of goop. The same scene played out in his mind over and over again like a broken tape.

Kono was launched out of the window, the glass shattering all around her. Chin was sprinting, but there was no way he could reach her. It was like the ground beneath him refused to move with his legs.

He had reached her, but the paramedics had held him back, telling him not to touch her, but all he saw was his cousin's broken body being loaded into the back of an ambulance and speeding away.

Away from him.

He vaguely remembered pushing Danny and Steve aside, ignoring Lori's expression of shock. He vaguely remembered roaring down the streets on his motorbike, so fast that he nearly passed the ambulance. He vaguely remembered them pushing the gurney that held her into a waiting operating room, and that the other three 5-0 members had showed up, trying to talk to him. But the one thing that stuck in his head was the fact that Kono had been in there for hours.

Please. If anyone out up there could hear him. Please not her.

Steve had sent Lori back to clean up the operation; get some accounts from witnesses and write up a few reports, and Danny had volunteered to help her out. Not that he hadn't wanted to stay, but Lori needed someone to show her the ropes and Danny was supposed to be taking care of Grace tonight. Steve was off getting a coffee that Chin had no intention of touching. Chin hated himself. All he wanted was for Kono to come strolling out the door saying, "Why the long face cuz?"

Why couldn't it have been me?

The door opened, and a tired looking doctor walked out. Chin shot out of his chair, taking in the doctor's grave face.

"Family of Kono Kalakaua?"

"How is she?" Chin could hear the anxiety slipping into his usually steady voice.

The doctor peered over Chin's shoulder and saw Steve walking over, a coffee in each hand.

"What's going on?" the former Navy Seal asked.

The doctor ran a hand through his hair. "She made it out of surgery, and she's stable. However-" He sighed. "Would you like to sit down?"

Chin tensed and Steve closed his eyes. The famous 'but'.

"Miss Kalakaua suffered some internal bleeding and several broken ribs, which will heal. But I'm afraid there is severe spinal cord damage that is irreversible. She will be paralyzed from the waist down."

Steve gripped the cups so hard that coffee spilled onto the immaculate floor. Chin fell back into the chair and let his head sag into his hands.

"There's got to be some mistake," Steve stuttered. "She's just a rookie, I mean she was a rookie…" He trailed off, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes.

"Can I see her?" Chin asked quietly.

The doctor nodded his head and led them into a room. Chin stopped at the doorway, afraid to enter. Steve laid a hand on his shoulder. "I'll give you some time alone. Just try and rest up, ok?"

Chin nodded stiffly, and walked into the room.

Kono looked so small lying there, and Chin couldn't help but look at her as a teen again. He sat in a chair beside her, taking one of her hands in his, watching the slight rise and fall of her chest. It felt like only a day ago Steve had asked her to join 5-0. Her words haunted him now.

You're the reason I became a cop.

First she had blown out her knee, and just as she had gotten back up again, found something she loved, she had to start all over again. It was all his fault. Tears began to roll down his cheeks.

Chin sat there until the sky turned black outside. It was way past visiting hours, but he guessed that the doctor had felt sorry for them and had told everyone to leave him alone. He brushed a strand of hair away from her face, and felt her stir.

Her eyes blinked open, trying to focus. Chin knew that she was still loaded with meds, and tried to wipe all signs of worry from his face. He felt like a coward, but he wished that anything would delay this moment from happening. Neither of them was ready.

"Hey cuz." She grinned up at him like this was any ordinary day, any other situation.

"You manage to nab Delano?"

Chin tried to smile, but when he spoke, his voice was hoarse. "Yep. Him and his cronies. Trisha's safe."

She smiled. "Good." She shifted a bit, and froze, eyes open wide in realization. "Chin…" she whispered.

He tried. He tried not to show it. But they were cousins. They knew each other too well. And Kono could see right through him.

"Oh my God."

"Kono-"

She just lay there in shock, mouthing the words "my legs."

Chin leaned over and held her, held her and tried not to break apart while she cried. He wanted to take her pain away, but all he could do was rock her and hold her tightly. He held her while a nurse came in and gave her some more pain medication, and kept holding her, even after she drifted back off to sleep. He held her because he never wanted to let go.

He ended up falling asleep next to her. When the doctor arrived the next morning, he found a very tired and rumpled Chin sitting in the chair beside Kono's bed. He only shook is head and sighed.

"You need a shower brah."

Chin looked up groggily. "What?"

"I'm serious. Your smell alone will kill all my patients. Now go home before I ban you from this hospital."