A Letter to My Favorite Ex Girlfriend
Part Two: Subject Zero
"...The whole system was lost, including the lives of its three-hundred thousand inhabitants."
Silence hovered in the air like a thick blanket of smog. Jacob crossed his arms and looked down at the floor in the direction of Tali's feet. Garrus' mandible hung open, allowing an airless "By the Spirits" escape. Thane's lips were pressed tightly together, his eyes growing wide as he waited for his siha's final words on the matter. Shepard's eyes swept across the briefing room, engaging each of her crew for a moment before moving on. She swallowed hard and looked straight ahead.
"The next step is not an easy one," she began. "I've discussed it with Admiral Hackett, and it seems like the best way to prevent a human-batarian war is to...well...turn myself in." The team expected this to be the case, but nonetheless their reactions were of shock. In particular, Shepard noticed Jack's expression flutter back and forth between wide-eyed hurt and a tense, angry scowl. She bit the inside of her cheek and felt her lungs tighten, yet she continued. "Over the next week or two, I'll be dismantling the crew of the Normandy." She took a deep breath; that was harder to say than she thought it would be. "I don't want any of you to be implicated in this, so I'm asking you to leave as soon as you're ready to."
"With all do respect, Shepard," Miranda piped up. "You're one of the few who take the reaper threat seriously. How are we supposed to prepare for them without you?"
"You'll need to get the word out yourselves. I have to do this. We can't have the humans and the batarians fighting each other when their energy and resources needs to be used against the reapers. I-I'm only one person. Ultimately, I can be sacrificed if it helps the galaxy."
"She's right," Mordin defended, crossing the room to stand beside his commander. "Lives of few do not supersede the lives of many. Furthermore, splitting up may widen Shepard's influence. Can get the message out there more efficiently."
"That's exactly what I was getting at, Mordin," Shepard said, nodding her head at the salarian. "I have one final order for you all: prepare as many people as you can. Without a doubt, the reapers are coming, and they're coming soon." She stopped and leaned against the conference table, looking for something else to say. All she could think of were empty words; nothing inspiring, nothing assuring. Shepard looked up, catching Thane's dark gaze. She had seen the Alpha Relay torn apart only hours before; he knew she couldn't hold out much longer. "Think about what I've said here. You're all dismissed."
Slowly, her teammates filed out in pairs, filtering back to their respective posts on the Normandy. Thane waited for the room to sufficiently empty, watching as Shepard hovered over the table, rocking back and forth on her heels. The door slid shut behind the last of the crew, leaving them alone.
"This is a foolish question, but are you all right?"
Shepard lifted her head, giving him a quizzical expression. The corners of her lips lifted. Thane knew this trick well. She had the same reaction after she returned from the first Normandy's crash site. If something bothered her, she brushed it aside as if it were dust.
"I'm fine," she said. "To be honest, I was kind of nervous you'd be mad at me. I disappeared for two days. I don't think we've spent more than a few hours of shore leave apart since we've met."
"Mad?" he repeated in a half-whisper. "No, I was worried, and I'm worried now siha." Thane stopped. She had pulled a section of her bottom lip into her mouth. He could tell she was biting it hard, distracting herself from the ordeal that it was to keep a straight face. "You can be open with me if you want. You don't need to be strong for me like you do with the crew. I'd prefer you don't."
Her face relaxed but didn't melt away to reveal her true sensibilities. Instead, she pushed away from the table and walked into his chest, placing her arms around his trunk.
"I'll be okay, Thane. I'm just tired."
He locked his arm around her waist and faced towards the door, leading her away from the last vestiges of the meeting before. Thane's goal was simple: get her up to her room and get a strong drink into her -keep her away from the inner workings of the Normandy and her crew. It was the best way he knew to calm her nerves.
A voice from in front caught the lovers, reaching them as the laboratory's door slid shut.
"Shepard!" The commander tossed her head over her shoulder, only to be met with a blunt force that tore her away from Thane's arm. She twisted around, falling back into the corner of the elevator and knocking her head against the wall. Hunched over, Jack stood in the doorway of the elevator, her face contorted into an expression of perplexed rage.
"Jack? What the hell's gotten into you?"
"What the hell's gotten into you?" She shouted, her words labored from physical exertion. "I thought we were going to take the fight to them, but you're backing out like a pussy."
"Pussy? I'm sacrificing something you couldn't begin to understand-"
"Why do this? The Alliance can't touch you. The batarians can't touch you! What are you afraid of, Shepard?"
Baring her teeth, Shepard glared and wiped a trickle of blood away from her nostril. Lowly, she hissed, "I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you unless you get off my ship."
Jack's eyes narrowed, her eyebrows nearly touching her cheeks.
"Fuck you."
Shepard pulled herself to her feet and charged. She was no biotic, but she didn't need the extra power to knock Jack into oblivion. A blue wave crashed over Jack's skin, ready for the impact of Shepard's balled fist. The hit never came. Instead, she collided with a barrier, it's source the drell beside her.
"Back off, Thane. I can handle this."
"Siha, you're not thinking clearly," he pleaded. "Stop this."
"I want her off of this fucking ship," she screamed. "Now."
The aura cloaking Jack dissipated, leaving the biotic wearing only a disappointed scowl. Her makeup glistened and drooped in the corners of her eyes. Jack took a final, hard gaze at Shepard before turning on her heel and disappearing into the elevator.
"To be honest Liara, I spent the rest of the evening in bed with Thane Krios and George Dickel. I can't believe I lost it like that. I was just so...so tired. I know that's not a good excuse, but I...I just couldn't handle it. Not after what I went through that day.
"I hope that someday Jack can forgive me for how I acted. I always admired the way she questioned everything, and she wouldn't have been herself if she didn't question me too.
"Maybe she was right. Maybe I shouldn't have given up this easily...God knows I can't do anything about the Reapers now. But my crew is strong. They can take care of themselves, and they'll be ready when they finally do arrive.