Summary: Through all of the secrets and the lies, the betrayal and the pain, the destination was always the same. They were meant to be together.

Author's Note: Shorter, but hopefully a little bit sweeter than the last chapter.

Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. And neither is the post I based this off of.

Chapter 9

Kate stumbled through the door of her apartment and collapsed on the couch, tears in her eyes, for the second time in a week.

She was terrified. Absolutely terrified. She had just given Castle complete control of her heart. Given him the power to completely shatter her.

She had also left the remote sitting on his desk. If that did not prove that she still trusted him, then she was out of ideas.

Things between them would be hesitant for a while, of that, she had no doubt. But she trusted him. This case was probably always going to be a sore spot for them, given the nature of their personalities and the overlying danger. But it did not need to tear them apart. Kate was not going to let that happen.

However, his reaction had not made her overly hopeful. Not at all. Because from what he had said to her, it seemed as though he would rather call it quits than give them another chance. And if that happened, Kate would never recover. Never.

Richard Castle held the only piece of her heart that she had every given away, and without him in her life, that piece would be forever missing. Empty. A giant void that on one would ever be able to fill. No one except Castle.

And now he was leaving, potentially, though not if Kate had any say in it.

A fresh wave of grief washed through her, the sobs wracking her entire body. She was trembling, from fear or emotional overload or exhaustion. Probably a combination of the three. But for once, she did not fight it. She let it overwhelm her, swallow her whole. She did not have the energy to hold it back, to pretend that she was not crumbling to pieces.

Kate had no idea how long she laid there, crying until she could not any longer. Her tears ran dry, her head hurt, her cheeks were caked with dried salt, her eyes swollen.

Eventually, she gathered up the energy to stand, make her way to her bedroom. Once there, she stripped down to her underwear, too lazy to put on pajamas, and collapsed into bed, careful to avoid any mirrors in the process. She had spent far too much time crying this week and had no desire to see herself raw and broken yet again.

Maybe if she did not see the hollow look in her eyes, she could convince herself that she would be okay. Kate snorted at the ridiculousness of the idea. Yeah, right. Vacant eyes or not, she could not suppress the desolate feelings threatening to drown her.

And as she settled under the covers, buried her head in the pillow, she found herself wondering if it was even worth it to fight to stay above the water.

Across town, Castle could not believe what he had just done. He had walked away from Kate Beckett. Well, technically she was the one who had done the walking, but he had done nothing to stop her.

It was the one thing he had promised himself he would never do. The one thing he did not think he would ever be able to do.

And considering that it had only been a few minutes and he already missed her, already hated himself, perhaps his assessment was correct.

No matter what thoughts had gone through his head during their argument, he was still madly in love with her, still would give absolutely anything to be with her. He was determined to find a way to forgive her, to gain her forgiveness, and to move forward from this point.

She still trusted him; the remote was proof of that. And no matter what he might have thought in the heat of the moment, he trusted her, too. He knew she would not purposely dive back into the case. He saw what it had done to her, knew her well enough to be sure that she would not have fought so hard to recover had she truly wanted to keep pushing forward through the case.

And really, when she had asked him to stay with her and make sure she did not disappear into the rabbit hole again, she had been dead on. He needed to be there. When it came to that case, he was her dry land. And that was a responsibility he took very seriously, because aside from his mother and daughter, Kate Beckett was the most important person in his life, and her safety was his top priority.

Hell, that was what had gotten him into this predicament in the first place; trying to keep her safe. His efforts may have backfired, but he had learned his lesson. From now on, he was going to protect her by standing by her side, not by going behind her back.

Now, he just needed to figure out how to make her see that.

However, that was not going to happen while he was slumped in bed, staring blankly through the door to his office. He needed a plan. And one hell of an apology. But most of all, he needed to find a way to show her that he trusted her.

Castle lifted his head, caught sight of the remote again. And in that moment, he knew exactly what he needed to do.

Kate lay in her bed, wide awake, unable to shut off her brain. Replays of their fight were swirling through her mind, mixed in with images of the heartbreaking look on his face as she left, with every alternative scenario of how things could have turned out. Because really, anything would have been better than this.

But even after going over all of it again and again, for however many hours she had been laying there, she still could not quite grasp how things had gone so badly so rapidly.

She thought they had figured all of this out when he apologized and said that he trusted her. When she said she understood. But apparently all they had accomplished was putting band-aids over everything. And the murder board had been more than enough to rip the wounds right back open.

Now, she had to cling to the hope that Castle would be willing to work with her to sew them back together.

She rolled over, her body surrounded by the cold sheets. Alone. God, she had only fallen asleep in his arms twice, and she was already addicted. Already could not live without it.

She just wanted him here. Wanted to be tangled up with him, because when he held her, everything was better, and when he kissed her, the entire world disappeared.

A distant knocking sound broke through the silence of her apartment, wrapping around her and filling her with fear, because there was really only one person it could be. And this was going to be the conversation that made her entire world crumble. The one where he said that he was sorry, but he just could not do this any longer. That he had plenty of material for Nikki Heat, and would no longer need to shadow her, either. And then he was going to walk out of her life. The look on his face when she left his loft earlier had made that pretty clear.

Kate had been trying to be optimistic, trying to cling the hope that he would come around eventually and that they would be okay. But now, with him standing outside her apartment, there was a sinking feeling in her stomach.

She rolled out of bed, pulled on the first outfit she could find...black yoga pants and a dark blue hoodie...and made her way out of her room. She felt nauseous, dizzy, and her heart was breaking with every step she took towards the door.

Maybe it's not him, she thought to herself, though it was an exceedingly weak attempt at being convincing. Probably just a neighbor or the landlord, or something.

She ran a hand through her hair as she reached for the doorknob, realizing that she probably looked horrid. But as she pulled open the door to reveal a thoroughly disheveled Castle, her state of being suddenly seemed entirely appropriate.

His hair was sticking up at all angles, there were dark bags under his eyes, and he looked like he had aged ten years in the last few hours. Kate took some twisted sort of comfort in the fact that he was just as torn up about this as she was.

She stepped back, silently allowing him in, and made her way to the sofa. She heard the door shut, the lock click into place, heard his footsteps approaching.

Castle considered for a moment, then sat down opposite her, not on the couch, not close to her.

Not a good sign.

The silence stretched, awkward and stressful. Words, said and unsaid, resonated in the emptiness.

"You, uh, you left the remote," he offered hesitantly after a minute.

She nodded, once, her movements stiff. "I know."

"I'm sorry." He broke first, his words cutting through the thick tension that had settled over them, offering the first hint of respite.

"I am too."

"I doubted you," he continued softly, hands twisting nervously in his lap, eyes darting around the room, refusing to meet hers. "And that was wrong of me. I know you would never be that reckless. And I'm sorry for thinking that of you."

Kate nodded, more to herself than anything else.

"I stand by my decision to keep you safe," he added, finding her eyes this time, conveying the seriousness of his words, "but from now on, I won't do that by keeping secrets from you. I promise you that."

"Okay.

Castle reached into his jacket pocket, retrieved something small and white, kept it firmly encased it in his fist. "And...one more thing."

He met her eyes, held her gaze firmly.

"The murder board is gone, Kate."

She blinked in surprise. "What?"

"It's gone. I erased it from the smart board."

"Where...what about the new information?"

"I wrote it down, and it's locked in my safe." He leaned across the coffee table, handed her a folded piece of paper. "Here's the combination. When you're ready, you know where to find it."

He was putting it aside, handing control of the case over to her.

"And when I open it up, you'll be there?" To keep me from falling back in?

He nodded solemnly. "Yes."

Kate impulsively flew to her feet, nearly vaulted over the coffee table, and flung her arms around his neck. Castle awkwardly stood to meet her, his hands coming to rest on her lower back, holding her into him as they found their balance.

"Thank you," she half-whispered, half-sobbed into his neck. "Thank you so much."

For coming after her. For trusting her. For promising to be by her side, no matter what.

At long last, they separated, Castle watching her closely. Kate nervously fiddled with the piece of paper in her hand; she knew that it was her turn now. She unfolded it, read the combination of numbers, refolded it, and slid it into her pants pocket.

"You know, there was a time when I would stop at nothing to find these answers." She gestured towards her own makeshift murder board, currently concealed by the shutters. "When I wouldn't have thought twice about diving back into it, because I just wanted justice for my mom, no matter what the cost."

She swiped at a tear, forced back the others begging for escape. "And I still do...want justice, that is. She deserves it. But she wouldn't want me to die for it. I was too young at the time to see that, too wrapped up in the unfairness of it all."

Kate lifted her eyes, found his watching her intently, hanging on her every word. "I know now that's not what she would want. She would want me to live, to have the life that was taken from her. And she would want me to find love. She always was a romantic."

Kate laughed softly, remembering the many conversations they had had about stupid teenage boys and broken hearts and the love that Kate never really understood. Not until now.

"My mom would have loved you, Castle." She stepped closer, rested a hand on his chest, right over his heart. "I love you. So much. And I want you to know that what you and I have is so much more important to me than finding these answers. I would rather spend every day not knowing than live a single day with the knowledge that my digging into this case ended up tearing us apart."

Kate leaned in, brushed her nose against his in the faintest of Eskimo kisses as she rested her forehead against his. "I'm sorry, Rick. For not trusting you, and for making it so difficult for you to trust me."

She lifted her head, met his eyes. "Please forgive me."

Castle captured the hand that rested on his chest, held her to him as his other arm made its way around her lower back. Her words just now meant more to him than anything else she had ever said or done, and there was no hesitation as he pulled her closer, welcomed her back into his embrace.

"I forgive you," he whispered against her lips before kissing her, barely there, a soft brush of lips. "And I trust you. And I love you."

Later, they would argue over who closed the distance first, but the next thing Kate knew, she was surrounded by Castle, their bodies melding together in the most delicious of ways. His lips were hot and demanding over hers, tongue exploring, teeth nipping.

"Castle," she gasped as he nibbled her lower lip, free hand running up and down her side, gracing over the outer curve of her left breast.

She removed her hand from his grasp, allowed it to join her other one around his neck, teasing the hairs at the nape.

He tore his lips from hers, allowing Kate a split second to catch her breath before he found her jaw, her neck, that spot behind her ear that made her knees week and left her gasping for breath all over again.

"Bedroom," she murmured as he sucked her earlobe into his mouth, making her legs give out.

She felt him smirk against her skin as she fell into him, his strong arms the only thing holding her upright, but she could not find it in herself to be annoyed. Not when he was doing that.

His tongue traced the shell of her ear as he started them backwards, sending a shudder through her entire body, and she stumbled, knocking both of them off-balance.

Castle just barely caught himself on the nearest wall, managing to keep both of them on their feet, and Kate took opportunity to turn the tables a bit. She slid her hands down his chest, working the buttons of his shirt, her lips trailing down every inch of newly-exposed skin, leaving no area unexplored.

"Oh," he gasped as her teeth grazed his nipple, followed quickly by the wet heat of her tongue. "God, Kate."

She shoved him backwards in response, down the hall, towards the open door of her bedroom.

And as they stepped across the threshold, the door flying closed behind them as he hungrily shoved her up against it, it briefly crossed Kate's mind that what was likely the last first time of her life was going to be make-up sex.

Then again, given their volatile history, it seemed like the most appropriate way to start.

Thoughts?