A soft purple light seems to be warming around me as I lay in my bed. The sun is not yet up but I can hear the nurses in the halls. They're busy getting their patients medications and running around. I'm alone in the dark save for the warm purple. My mind is blank which is bothering to me, there is something I'm supposed to be remembering but I can't seem to connect what it is. I've been awake for a while with this feeling. I pull myself out of bed and place my feel on the cool tile floor I pause for a moment before making my way to the bathroom. I push the on switch for the light and close my eyes as the brightness pains them, once adjusted I stare into the mirror at a face I don't know teal blue eyes stare back at me. I touch the mirror before touching my cheek. The stranger in the glass is me and I don't even know it.
"Who are you?" I ask my reflection. My mind goes blank as I try to answer. Hadn't I heard my name sometime today? Didn't someone say it? What was it?
The door to my room opens, a nurse doing her rounds. "Michiru?" she says into the darkness. I stare harder into the mirror trying to remember the name. There is a knock at the bathroom door.
"Yes?" I say.
"Are you alright dear?" the nurse asks.
"I'm fine." I reply opening the door to show the nurse that I am, indeed, fine.
"Alright then." She smiles at me.
"What did you say my name was?" I ask blushing at the question.
"Your name is Michiru Kaioh." The nurse says wrapping her arm around me and helping me back to my bed.
"Right." I say.
"You will remember Michiru, I know you will." She sits me on my bed and gently rubs my hand. I hope she's right, but as I lay down I doubt it.
"Mama?" the word rings in my ears even as softly as it was spoken. "Mama?" the voice sounds like a child. Slowly I open my eyes resting them on the wide violet eyes of a child. "Do you remember me today?"
"Remember you?" I say my heart pounding. Did I remember her? Something was familiar, the violet eyes and dark hair; her pale skin and curious smile.
"I don't think she knows me." the child says. I look up to see a man in tan pants and a blue shirt, followed by a woman dressed in white. They are also familiar, but why?
"That's ok." The boy says.
"Two sleeps." The child stresses climbing onto my bed.
"Until school." I say automatically the room seems to stop.
"What?" the boys asks surprised. "What did you say?"
"I don't know." I answer. "It was like a reflex. Are you a doctor?"
"No." the boy says. "You said until school. Two sleeps until school."
"Yes, until school." I nod. I watch the boy and the woman stare at each other before I add. "Something is happening isn't it?"
"I don't know." The boy says.
"Mama do you remember anything else?" the child asks.
"Remember?" I ask looking at her. She's calling me mama, I should know who she is. I feel like I do something inside is warm to her. I lift my hand to touch her hair.
"She remembered your school Hotaru, that's progress." The boy says.
"Yeah." The child frowns, my heart breaks watching her smile fade. Remember I tell myself. If you remember the school you can remember your daughter. Try damnit try!
"Hotaru?" I say picking up on what the boy called her.
"Yes mama?" she says her eyes full of hope. Please I plea with my mind. Suddenly I remember her handing me tea, telling me her favourite colour, her friend.
"You gave me tea yesterday, it was sweet." I say testing what my mind is giving me. Her smile says it all. "Haruka and Setsuna." I glance at the adults.
"I'll get the nurse." Haruka says.
"You remember." Setsuna says lowering herself into a chair.
I had remembered almost everything from the day before. I could remember Hotaru telling me about her favourite colour and her walls at home. I could remember the pink hair of Chibi-usa, and how they start school in two sleeps. The doctors were impressed, I couldn't remember my name but I knew what my daughter had told me the day before. Hotaru held my hand as the doctors gave me memory tests, picture after picture I needed to remember. They told me my name and asked me an hour later to recall it. I was only 50/50 but I knew Hotaru's favourite colour. At the end of the day it was agreed, if I could remember tomorrow I would be able to go home. As Haruka, Setsuna and Hotaru left for the day I closed my eyes, I didn't have a feeling of urgency or a need to remember I was relaxed, I knew, I would remember. I just knew.
I was awake and already sitting up when Hotaru slipped into my room the next morning. She smiled at me and I beamed at her. "Good morning Hotaru." I said wanting more than anything to jump for joy at the memory of her name. Tears flowed down her face as she ran to me, wrapping her little arms around my waist.
"Mama you remember me."
"I remember a little." I said. Haruka and Setsuna stood in the doorway watching. "I've already talked to the doctors and they said I can go home today."
"Yes, I talked to them earlier." Haruka said. I glared at him a bit for taking away my news. "We brought you some clothes."
"Thank you." I said. "One more sleep." I smiled at Hotaru.
It was busy for a while as nurses had me sign papers and doctors quizzed me about the pictures and my name. I passed and soon I was outside in the cool air Hotaru sat on my lap as Setsuna wheeled us to Haruka's car. Haruka lifted Hotaru into her car seat before helping me into the passenger side. We drove for almost an hour before stopping at a large apartment building. Hotaru unhooked herself from her car seat and jumped from the car. My heart lept as I watched but Setsuna was already ahead of me.
"Hotaru, don't do that you could get hurt."
"Sorry." Hotaru beamed grabbing my hand and pulling me toward the building. "Come on!" I followed her leaving Setsuna and Haruka at the car gathering my things. We passed a door man who smiled at me. "Welcome home Michiru." I nodded to him letting Hotaru pull me through the foyer and into an elevator. I watch the number climb before we stopped on the P. Hotaru pulled a key from her small pocket and led me to a door which she unlocked. "Home." She announced as I followed her in.
The apartment was the entire top floor of the building. Windows surrounded the space making it warm and inviting. I make my way past the threshold and to a wall covering in pictures. I look at all of them not stopping to long on anyone. I only recognize Hotaru, Haruka and Setsuna, everyone else is a mystery.
"Welcome home." Haruka says setting my bags down at the door.
"It's beautiful." I say stepping to the window to look out. Our view is astounding, from here I can see the ocean.
"You love water." Haruka says joining me at the window. Hotaru is also next to me, she's wrapped her hand into mine.
"I." I start, but I have nothing to say, Haruka knows I don't remember what I love.
"Alright firefly, get your things."
"Her things?" I ask wondering what's going on.
"Yes, doctors orders. Hotaru will be staying at Setsuna's until you're better acquainted with your life. Something about it being less damaging on her. "
"I don't want to go. Mama has to come to school tomorrow."
"Hotaru." Haruka says in a tone that clearly means there is no arguing.
"Ok." Hotaru frowns letting my hand fall she disappears behind a corner. I stare at the wall for a moment before she returns with a large bag. "As soon as Mama remembers she can come to my school right?"
"Yes." Haruka smiled. He lifted Hotaru into his arms and kissed her then set her down.
"Ok bye Mama." Hotaru wrapped her arms around me and I bent to meet her eyes.
"I will miss you Hotaru." I said tears brimming my eyes.
"I miss you too mama. I'll visit." She kissed my cheek and rushed to the door where Setsuna stood waiting.
"We'll visit." Setsuna smiled nodding to Haruka. The door closed and I felt empty without Hotaru. She was the memory I had, and now she was gone.