Ok so I left chapter 8 right before Bella told him off so here's chapter 9. I thought you guys have been good so you deserve to get , This chapter is also Edward's take on Bella's confession.

Disclaimer: All rights belong to S.M.

Previosly: And with that I lost all sense of my sanity and spoke for the first time in 7 months.

"Liar".

BPOV

He didn't speak just had his mouth open like a fish. The other Cullen's had similar expressions and I couldn't hide the smirk that crossed my face. I guess they didn't think I had it in me.

I continued, "I guess you're not going to answer so I'll just tell you anyway, I lost my hearing that night.

"What"? , Edward asked in utter disbelief.

And just to prove my point I sign, "Do you know how it happened, wait don't answer that because of course you wouldn't know you disappeared."

He looked taken aback by my gesture. I know he understood me Edward actually showed me a little bit over the summer.

"Yeah so I was so upset that you were gone that I didn't hear someone approach from behind me. Guess who, James.

He looked at me like I've gone mental. He looked so confused and so unprepared for my outburst but that was kind of the idea.

I leaned in and whispered in his ear, "But that's the worst part before he took my hearing he took virginity. He took advantage of me and it's all your fault. My virginity was meant for you and now James has claimed it. He raped me so hard I can't ever have kids and all this happened because you wanted to "protect me"."

I was screaming by then, I didn't care that the whole school was here they were bound to find out anyway. I turned away from him to address the rest of his family across the parking lot.

"And you all are no better. How could do you just leave me without even a good-bye. I expect something like that from Rosalie, but not from the rest of you. Alice you were my best friend how could you just up and leave like that and Emmett I cared about you too, you were like a brother to me and you hurt me."

"Love…"

I shot back towards Edward's face and screamed "NO, I'M NOT YOU LOVE. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AND YOU BLEW IT. GO FIND SOMEOTHER GIRL TO BELIEVE YOUR LIES BECAUSE I REFUSE TO BE HER."

I really wanted to slap him, but I knew I would be the only one who would actually get hurt. While I was still on top I turned around, got in my car and sped away. But not without getting a good look at the Cullen's before then. Edward looked livid, like he was about to murder and the rest of the Cullen's didn't look much better. Alice was shaking and had her head pressed into Jasper's chest. The kids who watched the whole showdown are still in their places, probably in shock. I even saw some teachers in the mix. I'm honestly proud of myself for actually telling him off. I thought I would feel better but I'm just as miserable as I was before. It felt good to vent but nothing was solved. Edward still left, he still lied, I was still raped and I'm still deaf. But did he really lie to protect me? Because if that is the case then he's even more stupid than I thought. His entire little plan did was heartbreak and disaster. I'm just so upset, I really shouldn't be driving but my better judgment has been absent lately. I mean I fell in love with a vampire for God's sake.

I really didn't want to go home where Edward could come and find me so I took off in any direction. I didn't know where I was headed or what I thought I would find but I knew Forks didn't hold the answers. I got on the highway and just drove. I loved driving my Porsche. I loved the old Chevy truck but It couldn't go over 50 mph. My Porsche makes me feel alive and free. It's like it just me in the world me, and my car.

I kept on driving until the highway stopped and I had to turn back or else I would run out of gas. The whole way home I thought of Edward. All the terrible things he did, how much hurt he inflicted on me. What I don't understand is that we were happy, only a happiness Edward could provoke in me and he just threw it away. He didn't talk to me or think about what I wanted he just decided on his own to leave me behind. He turned his back on our love.

Do you ever feel like your drowning? That even if you gete pulled out of the water you still face hypothermia. I feel like that. No matter if I my problems get resloved I will still have to face the effects.

I was in no hurry to get home. Charlie should be home by now; probably has a search party out for probably heard about my little show this afternoon, news always travels fast here.

I pull into the driveway and an angry Charlie comes out to greet me. He's yelling and trying to do sign language at the same time and I wouldn't recommend he do it again. I was in no state of mind to deal with my father so I just grabbed my book bag and walked to my room-Charlie didn't try to stop me;he was smart.

I didn't feel like getting ready for bed so I just ploped on it, still in my shoes, and stared at the small cracks in the ceiling.

He inflicted so much pain on me, he shattered me.

It's almost hard to believe how carefree I used to be; how happy I was.

Edward made me feel alive and beautiful.

I miss it. I miss him. I want to be in love like we were;there's just one problem.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust him again.

EPOV

I couldn't believe my angel standing in front of me. I had the urge to pinch myself to make sure this wasn't another mirage. I have been waiting for this reunion for far too day I just wanted to take her in my arms and kiss those delectable lips of hers She looked even more beautiful than I remember. Her mahogany hair had grown about an inch; she had on a billowing purple blouse that accented her tiny curves and waist. She looked thinner than before and there were dark circles beneath her chocolate orbs. God how I've daydreamed about those chocolate orbs, but in my fantasies her eyes were happy not gloomy and dull as they appear before me. But she still was the most beautiful creature I have ever seen.

I only left to protect her. I endangered her every day by being around my family and I put my own wishes aside to ensure she got the human life she deserved. I only hope she can understand my motives. She was so pure and innocent that I couldn't bear the pain I was about to inflict on her. The way she pleaded with me to stay and how she apologized for things that weren't even in her control, it made it so much harder to lie to her. That was the only thing I had left to convince her I was no good for her. But I have to make this better. I miss her and I will beg and plead for as long as it takes to earn back her trust.

"Bella I'm so sorry this wasn't supposed to happen and I regret my decision to leave you. I love you. I never stopped; I thought about you every day. I was lying when I said I didn't love you, I just wanted to protect you from what I am. You deserve happiness and a long human life but I just couldn't stay away anymore. I want you back. I miss you Bella and I'll always regret leaving you. But if you could just me the chance to explain…"

I noticed she hasn't even moved or made any attempt to speak. She looked in deep thought which I could only hope was in my favor. I was grateful she was even contemplating giving me a chance. So I just waited for her to decide.

I waited and waited but she was still in deep thought, I could tell by the way her small white teeth came into forceful contact with her bottom lip. If only I could read her thoughts; it would make things so much easier. What I wouldn't give for just a peak into her intriguing mind.

I eventually couldn't endure waiting anymore and I tried to rouse her from her motionless state by touching her wrists. I considered it to be a loving gesture but Bella flinched and made a quick attempt to be released for my grasp. I couldn't hide the look of hurt that overcame my face. I hated the fact that Bella didn't want my touch anymore; this showed me how badly I truly hurt her. I knew winning Bella back was going to be a very long process but I was ready a willing to do whatever it takes to have her back in my arms.

She and I just stared at each other for what seems like an eternity. I was about to speak again when she shocked me.

"Liar", she said, but it wasn't what she said that stunned me it was the way she said it. She spoke with such hatred and malice in her voice it was almost hard to believe that the very tone was uttered from her mouth.

By the thoughts of our peers surrounding us they were also perplexed by Bella's outburst. I had never seen her so angry, but I understood she had every right to be.

"I hate so much and you know what you can save your crap for someone who believes it. You're such a coward for running away from me. I LOVED YOU! And I thought you loved me but I was just stupid to believe your lies. Did you want to know what happened to me the night you broke my heart?" she spit at me. I couldn't believe this was my Bella. I was aware I was staring with my mouth open like an idiot but I couldn't find the strength to shut it.

"I guess you're not going to answer so I'll just tell you anyway, I lost my hearing that night.

"What"? , I said more to myself than to her. That can't be possible I left her in the forest she was safe. Who did that to her; I'll kill them for laying a hand on her.

"Did you not see the hearing aid wedged in my ear? I thought you were smarter than that Edward. This is the first time in months I've actually spoken. The only reason I have been able to understand you is because I've been reading your lips."

I never noticed the hearing aid I was too caught up in seeing her I never actually saw her. She looked normal. I never would have thought such a cruel thing could happen to such a wonderful, beautiful woman.

She took a deep breath and tried to calm her frenzied heartbeat. She looked at me with a piercing gaze and instead of using her words to communicate she used her hands and signed "Do you know how it happened, I went to open my mouth, but she cut me off, wait don't answer that because of course you wouldn't know, you disappeared."

I didn't expect her to do that. Her using sign language made it all the more real for me.

"Yeah so I was so upset that you were gone that I didn't hear someone approach from behind me. Guess who, James.

That's impossible. James was killed; Emmett and Jasper took care of even watched his torn body parts thrown into the fire. But Bella doesn't lie and even though it makes no sense I can't help but believe her claims.

Bella leaned in and whispered in my ear so close I could feel her hot breath, "But that's the worst part before he took my hearing he took virginity. He took advantage of me and it's all your fault. My virginity was meant for you and now James has claimed it. He raped me so hard I can't ever have kids and all this happened because you wanted to "protect me"."

Angry was an understatement on how I felt. I honestly felt bad for Jasper having to reign in all the unstable emotions, considering how my anger was making me shake. It took everything I had not to growl and race to find that bastard but I had appearances to keep up so I was forced to keep up my relatively clam demeanor. Why did men think they could just take advantage of women for their own selfish desires? Rosalie, even after decades, still thinks about it on a regular basis.

My male instincts didn't like the fact that James took away something that was mine. I knew that Bella and I were one day going to take the other's virginity, I'm furious that James stole that moment from us. I could never blame Bella for this but I'm sure she has found a way to blame herself; she always did. She was innocent, and I could never think any less of her because of this. He also claimed her hearing which is sacred to any livng being. My Bella now lives in a world of silence and I feel utterly powerless.

Bella deserves justice and I'm the perfect candidate to carry out such an enormous deed.

For the moment I was free of her tirade when she turned away from me to address my siblings across the parking lot.

"And you all are no better. How could do you just leave me without even a good-bye. I expect something like that from Rosalie, but not from the rest of you. Alice you were my best friend how could you just up and leave like that and Emmett I cared about you too, you were like a brother to me and you hurt me."

"Love…" I said in a soft tone, I was trying to reason with her; calm her down but I just made things worse.

She turned around so fast and screamed "NO, I'M NOT YOU LOVE. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE AND YOU BLEW IT. GO FIND SOMEOTHER GIRL TO BELIEVE YOUR LIES BECAUSE I REFUSE TO BE HER."

I had never heard her so viscous. This was a different Bella. A Bella, who is angry, damaged and guarded. I was speechless.

She sped off into the distance in her powder blue porshe and left me in utter shock. So much has happened to her and it's all my fault. I feel utterly sick. The whole parking lot is silent except for Alice's soft sobbing. No one knows exactly what to do. I just had to get out of here. I looked back at my family who looked shocked, ashamed and furious; suprisingly even Rosalie was upset.

I just needed to be alone for a while to get my thought together.

I was going to the meadow.

I got there in record time. This is a place I used to go to get away from the petty human thoughts and the constant love that my family was absorbed in. But this isn't just my place this our place.

Mine and Bella's place. I felt even lonlier here.

I moved to the center on top of a patch of dead daisies. The ground was still wet from the morning shower; the sun reflected of the rain drops to create a dazzling shimmer that equally matched my own.

The meadow, however, was deceiving me. Under its make-up, I saw what really was present.

The meadow looked abandoned, sad and lifeless.

How appropriate considering what I put Bella through.

I hurt the one person in the world who I yearned to protect. I put her in danger every second we were together. I had to protect her from the demon I was. She deserved a long human life with children, a husband and to be successful; that couldn't be achieved with me. I couldn't give her children or a happy life with all the moving our kind has to do to evade suspicion from humans. She deserved better.

At the time it seemed like the rational decision but now staying seemed like the better alternative. I could have saved the both of us from heartbreak if I just accepted her choices.

I know she wanted to be a vampire and give up her life for eternal darkness and I didn't understand it. I wasn't worth her sacrifice and I don't think she understood what a vampire life entailed. How my whole family, myself included, would do anything to be human again. Rosalie would even give up Emmett if she was given the chance.

I can only imagine all of the pain she went through in my absence. I was so sad that I locked myself away for months from everything that could remind me of her. I couldn't take being around the love my family members showed to their spouses so I packed up and left while they were on a hunt, not even bothering to tell them where to find me. Not that they really cared. They were all pretty mad at me; Alice and Emmett were the worst. I took away a best friend and a sister' they didn't even get to say goodbye. Jasper was mad that Alice was mad but he understood my wish to keep Bella safe. He also felt responsible for our leaving since he attacked her at the birthday party. I never blamed him, it was hard for him and I know all too well the temptation for her blood. Carlisle and Esme lost a beloved daughter. They would never say anything to me because they knew how hard it was for me to do that and didn't want to cause me anymore pain.

Rosalie was a different story.

She and I don't get along well at all and we probably never will but we both love each other even if we would never admit it to each other. She was furious when I announced to the family that we were moving. It wasn't because we were leaving Bella she couldn't be happier about that, she hated how a little human forced her out of her home her new life in Forks. She was so vain and selfish I didn't understand why Emmett put up with her even if she was beautiful.

They tried to hide some of their love when I was in the room but it didn't help any. I could still see it in their eyes and in their minds. The only thing that could help me was Bella, my long awaited mate, the love of my existence. She made me see the light in the darkness that is this life and what do I do, I lie and leave her.

I thought of Bella every day. I even would conjure up fantasies of her that turned out just to be dust bunnies or cobwebs in the corner.

I was so angry at myself at the universe for doing this to her, and James. I swear I won't rest until I tear him limb from limb and burn the pieces myself.

He's going to suffer.

He's going to beg me to end his pathetic use for a life before I'm done with him.

He hurt my Bella, injured her and defiled people so much as think inappropriate things about Bella I want to skin them alive, but there aren't words for what I want to do to him once I get my hands on him but James can wait a little bit; Bella is the top priority right now. I need to make it up to her. I need to show her how sorry I am. I know she hates me, I think I hate myself even more though.

It was approaching dawn by the time I left the meadow. Having no regard for time, I can sometimes stare at something for, to me seems like minutes but in all actuality it can be hours sometimes even days.

If I hurry I will have just enough time to catch a glimpse of my sleeping angel. I approached the modest white house and sprang up into the tree that leads me to Bella's window on the side of the house. I don't think I could sneak in without making any noise so I just perch myself on an out-stretching branch and watch her in slumber.

Her brunette locks were fanned across her pillow, her ivory skin glowed in the moonlight. She had her back to the window so I couldn't see the tranquil expression she always wore on her face as she slept. I wish I could sleep too. Escape from reality for even just a little while, but if I sleep I can't watch her and I wouldn't trade such an intimate moment for anything.

Bella started to stir and that's my queue to head home and get ready for the interesting day I'm sure to have. With one final glance I jump out of the tree and start running the familiar way to my home. The entire way, though, I couldn't help but ask myself the question,

How can I show her I love her and have her believe me?

Chapter 9. So I tried Edward POV. It took forever. And if your not a member here, I allow anonomous reviews because I think everyone deserves the right to state their opinion. Remember to review! Bye guys