Chapter 4

A/N: No one upstages the Batman. It is like putting baby in the corner.

Dick hunted around the room. He figured he had a few hours, give or take, before Bruce and Tim made it back to the manor, now it was time for some investigating. Dick had figured out that Bruce was lying about the shower, Someone had been in it. Someone female. Tim was to busy trying to protect his virginity to see it. Bruce had a girlfriend. And Dick was going to find out who.

Why? Because he could. Because Bruce had made the mistake of teaching them that having information was important. It was a way to have power.

Dick liked having power, and having Tim distracted, worrying over his own state of virginity; Dick found himself free to poke around the master bedroom with out interruption.

The plan was just to mess with Tim. The opportunity to mess with Bruce was just gravy. It was the best kind of gravy that men wrote epics about.

After all, no one upstaged the Batman.

He found nothing that much out of order, after all Alfred made sure to keep the room and the manor itself in perfect working order. Dick hunted around the whole room, careful to not to disturb anything. After all, Bruce had a photographic memory; He would know if something had been moved. He had also made the mistake of teaching Dick and Tim how to investigate without being noticed. Hunting around on the floor near the bed, He found himself reaching under the bed, gripping a small pair of woman's underwear. Bingo. Dick thought, pulling them out and stuffing them into his pants pocket. He didn't even take a peek. It would be stupid to peek at them while he could still get caught in there. But he hit pay dirt. It was time to make the get-away. Dick slipped out the door, pulling it softly closed behind him.

"What are you doing?" A voice asked behind him, and Dick recognized the voice immediately. Bruce.

Well Fuck. "Nothing."

Bruce got close to him, pinning him between the wall and keeping him from freedom. "What were you doing in my room? What were you even doing here? Am I going to find whoopee cushions under my mattress again? It wasn't funny the first time Dick."

"No, the whoopee cushions are under Tim's bed. I was just measuring the room for something I was going to get you for your birthday." My god that is a bad lie. "That is all."

Bruce didn't believe it. His eyebrow raised and Dick felt like he was in high school again, "Really?"

"Would I lie to you?"

"Yes."

"Well. That is all I am telling you." Dick tried to leave, but Bruce stopped him with a hand to the chest.

"Don't take this the wrong way." And with that, Bruce stuck his hand into Dick's pants pocket, taking back the pay dirt that Dick had almost got away with. "Nice try." He stuffed the panties into his own pocket, before Dick had a chance to even see what color they were. He should have taken a peek in the bedroom.

"I'm going to find out who she is."

"Good luck with that."

"Just you wait."

"I will be waiting." Dick walked away defeated. And plotting.

Tim was unsure how he had let Dick trick him into going clubbing with him. Now he had pretty much glued himself to the bar thinking up ways to escape. And he was drinking soda. After all, he was planning to go out after tonight. And doing something he found more fun. There were a lot of young people around, dancing and having a good time. This was not his kind of fun. His kind of fun involved punching people and making a city safe.

"Hey...Sexy..." A voice said, next to him. It was a blond in a low cut shirt. She was really drunk, and using the bar to hold herself up. "What...What are you doing here?" It was an odd question, it seemed to be clear that he was nursing a drink at the bar.

"Mmmm..." Damn Dick. If Dick didn't have him all out of sorts with this whole virginity thing he could flirt his way out of this and get home into time to go out on patrol. "Here, with...a friend. You?"

"Me...Too." She was slow. So slow. Like someone happen to put her on pause. Tim was not amused.

"That is nice..." Tim went back to his drink, not interested in flirting. He was hoping she was smart enough to get the hint.

She wasn't. Suddenly, she grabbed his arm, trying to be sexy. "I'm Ruby, what's your name?" The s was elongated, like she was enjoying saying the sound. It didn't make her sound sexy, she sounded like a snake.

Tim looked at her, an eyebrow raised. It was a Bruce look, "So, Ruby, What made you come over and hit on me?" He asked, not in the mood to play the game. He wasn't in the mood to come to this bar in the first place.

"You are sooooooooo cute. Why can't I just," She was slurring real bad, and half the words she spoke barely sounded like English. "Talk with a sexy guy like you, Timmay?"

That was it. Dick had sent her. "That is interesting Ruby, being that I didn't give you my name." He was mad. He stormed away from her, and up to Dick, who had his arms around two women, flirting shamelessly. "I can not believe- No, wait, it's you. I can believe you did that. I'm Leaving now. Find your own ride home."

"Did what?" Dick was trying to look innocent. The keyword there was trying. "Tim, don't be that way, I was just trying to help you out."

"I don't need your help, I'm fine."

"So you were Lying earlier, I knew it."

Tim paused, Is he talking about Lunch? "Dear God, you are crazy, and I am over this. I am leaving, and when you come to your senses, I will be happy to talk with you again, Dick. Have a good night!" Tim waved him off.

I didn't get rid of him that easy. Tim thought, as he headed out to his car. I am getting a call tomorrow. He made it to his own car, and leaned up against it, rubbing his phone in his pocket went off, Or right now.

"What?"

"Come on Tim, it isn't that bad." It was Dick.

"You are crazy, did you know that? You are completely nuts."

"I know someone crazier than the two of us. And he still gets laid once in a while. I am sure he would give you a few pointers."

"What can I do to get you to leave me alone?"

"Do a woman. Or a man. I'm open minded."

"I hate you so much."

"Oh Tim, I wish I could believe that."

"I'm hanging up now."

"Yea right." Tim wanted to hang up so bad. He wanted to go back into the club, and slap Dick around. But part of him need to have the last word.

"I'm never having sex, just to spite you." He said, before hanging up. He began to rub his forehead, hopping that this nightmare would be over.

His phone went off again, Good luck with that. God, he hated Dick. He wanted this nightmare over.