Chapter 5

A/N: I am sad that Damian's cameo isn't as epic as Alfred's was. But he isn't Alfred. I also would like to take the time and say thank you all for the reviews, the alerts, and the favorites. You all rock hard. I am sad this is the last chapter. As always, let me know what you think. I loves the feedback. Thanks Julia for the catching that typo. I owe you a cookie.

Tim had been mopping around the manor house like he had been forced to eat his own puppy. Dick had, for the pass week, been asking about which hand was getting more action and he couldn't take it. Any time that wasn't spent on patrol was spent trying to avoid Dick and moping. It was a unbroken cycle. He had turned off his phone, thrown it around his room, and it now remained lost to time. It had been awful. Any pleading to Bruce for help had been met with laughs, and the, you are old enough to deal with this.

But the worst had come from Damian himself. It was mid afternoon and Tim was moping in front of the TV, watching some dumb cartoon. Granted, what he was doing wouldn't be called watching as much as, filling time until he could go punch criminals pretending they were Dick.

"Is he still moping?" Bruce had asked Damian who was 'watching' cartoons with Tim. It was more of he was staring at Tim, trying to figure out the same thing that Bruce was, Why Tim cared so much.

"Yea, he is still moping that he can't get his dick wet." Tim stared at Damian as if he had grown a second and third head that started doing three stooges acts together.

"DAMIAN!" Bruce was in shock from what had come out of his son's mouth. Where did he learn that?

"WHAT?"

"YOU'RE TEN!" Bruce looked at the ground and then back at him, "Where did you learn that?"

"Dick said to say it, that Tim's face would be priceless, and it was!" Damian looked around, clearly not understanding completely what he had said. "I don't know what it means."

Tim found his voice, "Like hell you don't know what it means."

"I don't. HONEST!"

"Damian, go to your room." Bruce said, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"Am I in trouble?" The ten year old asked.

"I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know."

"Last time I listen to Dick..." Damian said, muttering to himself as he left the room.

Once he was out of ear shot, Bruce chuckled a little. Tim was not amused. "Really?" He asked, and Bruce just shrugged.

"Why are you letting it bother you?" It was a very good question. One Tim didn't feel like answering. He just stormed out of the room heading to his own room.

In truth, he didn't have a answer for why it bothered him. It seemed to be Dick's need to bring it up every chance he got. And that was what was getting to him. He was happy with the way his life was. He got to beat up criminals with Batman every night. That was his childhood dream. What more in life could he want?

Tim climbed the stairs, heading toward his room. He wasn't mad. It wasn't worth getting mad at Damian. The kid probably didn't know any better. After all, he doubted that Dick explained why that would upset Tim. Damian would have agreed to do it the second he was told that he would upset Tim. That was irksome, but not something to hold a grudge over it. There were better things to do that with.

As he entered his room, he noticed that Alfred had finished his laundry. It was sitting on top of the dresser, waiting to be put away. Alfred must have gotten called away, and was unable to finish. Tim went on autopilot, beginning to put away his clothes, when he found something odd.

A pair of panties. A pair of women panties. A pair of Hello Kitty panties.

Tim was confused at first. What were these doing in his laundry?

Tim looked them over for a second. What the...Then the light bulb went on, over his head. He had won.

All this proved was one thing. That there was a god, and his name was Alfred. (At least that explains why he apparently lives forever.)

"Yes..." He hissed to himself, and then began the hunt for his phone. Dick was going to lose this fight.

Tim was out on the roof top, waiting. Dick would be here soon. He couldn't wait. He was almost giggly with excitement. He was going to get away with it. He was going to pull one over on Dick. He was going to win. It was the little things in life. The little things, like getting back at the 'brother' who had been harassing him for a while.

Dick soon appeared, in costume of course, "So which hand did you spend with last night?" It was a good question, and Tim had a good answer.

"Not a hand, but a Kitty Cat." He said, holding his prize out to Dick. Dick's face was hard to describe. It was a cross between shock and awe.

"Bullshit. Who's are those?" Dick ripped them from his hand.

"Who do you think?"

"You scored, with Catwoman?"

Tim had a shit eating grin. Dick believed him. He was off the hook, virginity intact. "I don't need to kiss and tell, that would be un-gentlemen-like, don't you think?"

"Yes, Darling, I think it would be." A voice behind him said. Soon there was an arm on his shoulder, and there was Selina Kyle, in all her glory. Oh shit. Tim thought, hopefully not loud enough for the two other people on the roof top to hear him.

"Well-" Tim was going to defend himself, but Selina had a different idea. She grabbed the boy by his head, pulling it back and began to kiss him, square on the lips. Dick stood there dumbfounded, as Catwoman pushed her tongue down the throat of his little brother.

Tim was more surprised than anything else. Why wasn't she beating the two of them into a bloody pulp? Why was she kissing him? Why was her tongue half way down his throat and were was her hand going? He grabbed her wrist as it head toward a part of his body he didn't want touched infront of Dick.

"Oh Darling, you are right, there isn't time for that." Selina dropped him, and Tim hadn't realized she had been holding him up. He dropped to his knees as she headed over to Dick, taking the panties from him. "I will be taking these." She turned back to take one more look at Tim. "Later, lover boy. Nightwing. It has been a pleasure." And with that, she was gone, as quickly as she had appeared.

The two didn't say anything, for a long time. Tim got to his feet, and Dick watched him the whole time. "Dude. You win." Was all he said.

Bruce peered through his night-vision binoculars, watching and waiting. He knew a big deal was going down tonight, and he was going to stop it. They weren't going to bring more drugs into his city. Not if he had anything to do with it. I will- His thought was cut off, by a fist, upside his head. Causing him to drop the binoculars off the side of the building he was standing on. "You are-" He spun around, ready to take down who had dared to sneak up and hit the batman. "Selina?" He said, surprised, "What was-"

"I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU!" She shouted. She was spiting fire.

"What are you talking about?" Batman was confused. And when he was confused he had found the best course of action was to punch things til he got answers. But she was mad like a cat that had been dropped in water. He didn't want to take her on like this. Plus he doubted that hitting her was going to help him in any way, shape, or form.

"Look what I took off your birds."She threw the panties in his face. He pulled them off, and looked at them, confused. "I don't know what sick game you boys are playing, but I don't want to be apart of it."

"Selina, I have no clue how they got these-" He had to calm her down.
"Oh really? Did the Butler do it? I highly doubt that."

"Kitten really-"

"Don't Kitten me! I am staying out of your sick game. Goodnight Bruce." She turned to leave.

"Selina!" She stopped, but didn't look at him, arms crossed. "I don't know how they got these, but I will be making them pay. Now, I have to get back to fighting crime...Dinner tomorrow?"

"You really have no idea how they got them?"

"None. But I will find out when I get home. And Heads will roll." She turned to look at him, which was a cold hard stare. Batman wondered if that was the look he gave people? If so, it made him want to run for cover.

"Fair enough. And it is a nice dinner you are taking me to. And a play."

"Done." And with that, she left him to his own thoughts.

He was going to kill those two. It is their fault he would have to sit through Cats again.