I've got my drama exam coming up, and guess what my group are performing. Equus. Yeah, great play for both a Christian and a horse-lover to do! And my name is Martin Dysart. MARTIN. We're calling him Martina Dysart, but one of the boys in my group is autistic and he keeps on switching from calling me 'sir' to 'ma'am'. To top it all off, we're performing to family and friends tonight, and I'm losing my voice. How I love my life…
No, it's actually pretty cool. Can't keep a straight face through it, but oh well… As one of my best friends said in her yearbook comment 'A day without laughter is a day wasted'. Mine is 'I've got a jar of dirt', but I don't think I can use it in this circumstance with the same effect.
I don't own Night World.
One more important thing – No fish were harmed in the creating of this chapter. Though Edward and Jasper did exist, and Charlie still does exist.
The Day Morgead Made a Contraption
"Aha!" Morgead exclaimed as he looked proudly at his handiwork.
3 months of non-stop work, and it was finally finished. The contraption had lots of scary-looking tubes and pipes; some of which were puffing out multi-coloured smoke, ranging from bright purple to sickly yellow. Other objects, such as taps, fences, a microwave, a book (Jez's), a bedside table (also Jez's) and the goldfish bowl with three goldfish in it (definitely Jez's). It took up most of the shed, and Morgead had to edge round carefully in order to not knock it over.
He brushed is hands on his jeans, a wide grin spreading across his face. It looked frickin' awesome! He couldn't wait to show it to Val. Better hide it from Jez, though. Thank goodness she never came into the shed.
"Our little secret," he said to the contraption, pointing at it and narrowing his eyes. He stayed still for a second before clapping his palm to his forehead. "Stop talking to inanimate objects. You know what the psychiatrist said."
He slipped out of the door and closed it carefully. Next time Jez was out, he would test it.
Getting into the house at exactly the right time (Jez was coming through the front door), he leant against the wall and tried to look innocent.
"Morgead, have you seen my–" She opened the door and her eyes widened. "What have you done to yourself?"
"Huh?"
Jez rolled her eyes. "Look in the mirror."
Morgead frowned and did as she ordered, grimacing when he saw that his forehead was covered in black oil. He looked down at his hands. Yep, oil. Maybe he'd squirted a little too much on.
"What have you been doing?" Jez asked, coming up next to him.
"Umm… I'm working on my motorbike." He looked at Jez innocently.
"Okay…" she looked around the room. Have you seen the book I was reading?" She froze. "Morgead, where's the microwave?"
"Umm…"
"Oh, never mind. Just make sure it's back in it's place when I'm back."
"You're going out again?"
"Yes. Just came back to get a book for Hannah. She wanted to borrow it…" She bit her lip, "Okay, I'm going to see if it's upstairs.
"Uh-huh," Morgead said. Great, he could test out the contraption today! As she went up the stairs, Morgead rushed to the shoe cupboard to get a pair of his workshoes that needed polishing.
"Morgead, have you seen my bedside table?" Jez called down the stairs.
Oh, crap.
"Your bedside table?" he asked innocently.
"It's not here." There was a pause. "Where are Edward, Jasper and Charlie?"
"Who?"
"The fish!"
"We have fish?"
"Well, we did. You wanted to name them the Terminator, Obi Wan Kanobi and Fluffy."
"I did?"
She reached the top of the stairs. "Why are you acting so suspicious?"
"I am?"
She frowned. Morgead stayed still, keeping his eyes wide and as innocent as possible.
"I thought you weren't working today."
"I'm not," he said, confused.
"Then why have you got your workshoes?"
"I'm cleaning them."
Jez blinked. "Oh. Okay. Well, don't let me interrupt. I'll be back in an hour." It sounded like a warning. She kissed him quickly before going out the door.
Morgead counted slowly to ten before taking off at a sprint towards to shed. Time to test out the shoe shining contraption. It would be amazing. Him and Jez would become billionaires and get a bigger mansion the Hannah and Thierry!
When he got back to the shed, the contraption was puffing white smoke. He wasn't sure what the meant, but it was probably because it was going perfectly.
"Okay, contraption," he told it. "Clean my shoes."
The contraption puffed in reply. Morgead inserted the left shoe into one of the pipes. He could hear it clunk its way down to the cardboard box as the wheel to the left of it started turning. It then proceeded to clank vigorously up the next pipe, two metres up to a wooden chair, before going around the U-turn to the microwave. The microwave pinged, before the shoe reappeared in the fish bowl. Edward, Jasper and Charlie jumped before swimming away from it in fright, and the shoe clonked its way to the red trousers, up the right leg to the waistband and finally sliding its way to the end of the run way, dinging a bell at the end of it.
And the shoe was practically shimmering with cleanliness.
"Yes!" Morgead exclaimed, punching the air. He put the other shoe in and watched as it clunked, clanked, pinged, clonked and dinged to the bell, as clean as its twin. "Jez is going to love you," he said to his contraption before patting one of the pipes proudly.
He decided to go back to the house and wait for her. He could almost taste the billions he would make from his contraption!
Morgead was almost to the back door when a strange creaking resounded from behind him. He frowned, turning towards the sound. It had come from inside the shed.
"Are you alright?" he called out, forgetting (for that instant only, mind you), that the contraption could not speak. He would add that on the next time he worked on it.
The contraption made a frighteningly loud sound like a train approaching, until a massive 'poof' reverberated from it. The shed then exploded.
No kidding. It exploded. Bits of the dressing table, wooden chair, pipes, and even (eww) goldfish went in every direction, including on Morgead himself. Those splinters were definitely going to leave some scars.
Well, the shed was definitely ruined. He wouldn't be a billionaire. And Jez was going to kill him.
Ah, crap.