Jasper sat up lazily, and I rolled to my side. "Thirsty?"
"Did you see me hunting?"
"No. Well, yes, but only now. I just assumed that was the only thing that could pry your attention from me."
He looked down at me and smiled. "It is." He leaned over to kiss me again.
He pulled me up and we kissed our way back to our fallen clothes. I laughed as I dressed him. It was like playing film backwards. He chuckled along as he buttoned my blouse.
I let him choose our path from the house. He would head west a ways, pick up a strange scent and follow. I wondered what scent would have his interest and followed him as he made a leap across the river.
We came that strange smell soon. It was awful. I wrinkled my nose. "What is that?" It smelled like a wet dog that had rolled in a swamp. As he had in my vision, Jasper followed the stench. I looked ahead and saw... nothing. I ran to Jasper. "Wait! Don't go that way!"
He stopped and I caught up to him. "What is it?"
"I can't see," I murmured at first. "I can't see. I can't see!" I started to go into hysterics before Jasper calmed me down.
"It's Okay, Alice. We're here; we're fine. The smell is dangerous?"
"I don't know! I can't see!" I started to shriek again, and he pulled me into his arms, enhancing his gift.
"What is the matter?"
"There's never been something I can't see before. Things disappear, are fuzzy, but never black, empty... nothing."
"I know you're afraid, but I won't let anything hurt you. We'll figure this out together." He stroked my hair, continuing to soothe. "We don't have to explore now. We'll hunt in the east, avoiding... whatever it is for now. Please, relax, Alice. You're starting to frighten me."
I'd never been blind before. It was almost impossible not to look down that future and see the emptiness. Finally I came to my senses with Jasper's help and focused on our hunt in the other direction, on the Cullen's setting up their home, on our meeting at the dock in a few days. I choked on a deep breath and the scent made alarm run through me again. Jasper kissed me, smothering the thoughts that hadn't fully formed.
Without taking his lips from mine he lifted me in one arm and ran east. When I inhaled, the terrible smell was gone. "Better?" he asked. The worry on his eyes was clear.
"Yes. I think so." A vampire afraid of the dark. That's what I was. Of course with these bright eyes there was no darkness for me — except down that path. I shuddered again. Jasper held me tightly and waited for me. He didn't use his gift this time, for which I was grateful. It seemed important for me to catalog these reactions, in case... I couldn't finish the thought. I shifted to move my weight back to the ground. My feet under me again helped; it reminded me of my strength. Why should I fear? Somehow I knew that I should, that the fear was not unjustified. I was certain; I just didn't understand it.
Jasper did a good job of distracting me. His fingers never stopped running over my face, unless it was to make room for his lips.
"Enough." I giggled at last. "I'm all right. Let's find something to drink." I sprinted east, not wanting to venture any nearer what lay in the west.
I leaned over the paper I had on Esme's drafting table. Pants with wide legs. They were almost skirt-like. I tried to picture a woman wearing them. It didn't quite work for me. I pictured Jasper in them. Oddly, that was better. I changed the dimensions to reflect his proportions. Then I pulled out thick board paper and began outlining pieces of the pattern based on what I'd drawn. If the company didn't go with this one there were several other designs in this package.
I wondered how long Jasper would be hunting. That was all it took for me to see him coming through the door and standing behind me. By the sun it would be another hour. I would be nearly done outlining the pieces by then.
We had spent six months in the Cullen house. Jasper was feeling much more confident in his new diet. His new golden eyes helped. Howver, he still hunted more often than I did.
I continued searching for more definite clues to the Cullens whereabouts. The rest of the family spent much of their time near the house. They were still settling into their new community. Edward, Rosalie and Emmett were enrolling in High School — Saucon Valley. I'd given the name to Jasper but it hadn't meant anything to him. The librarian in Forks hadn't been any help with that clue either. I didn't feel like leaving here to wander aimlessly. I wanted to at least narrow things down to a state before moving on. The house was comfortable, the prey ample. Except for that eerie need not to approach the beach, things were nice here.
Jasper had joined me in town a couple of times. Once to order myself a sewing machine from Sears. Once to wire my broker for a transfer of funds. I walked there weekly now to mail envelopes of patterns. I would ask him to join me tomorrow to send these. He had had no problems passing people in the streets, but I think it helped that we were all moving. He hadn't come into the telegraph office but instead, walked around the block.
He would join me; it would be lovely. The leaves were just starting to change color. That would mean the Cullens had started their classes. I tried to picture myself with them, surrounded by human children. I would enjoy the learning. I took what I had learned in my previous life with me even if I didn't remember learning it. I knew how to read and write, but it seemed most other education had missed me. Well, high school would be interesting the first time. This would have to be at least the second time through for the Cullens. Thinking on that brought Edward to my mind again. He was filling in an application to Pennsylvania State University.
"Thank you, Edward." I said aloud as Jasper came behind me.
"Edward?" he asked.
I turned and threw my arms around him. "Walk with me to the post office?"
"It's late, love."
"In the morning then? Maybe the office in Seattle, or Portland, or Billings, or wherever we are by then?" It would be Missoula, I knew now.
"What did you see?" he asked, brushing a hand over my brow.
"Edward applying for night classes at Pennsylvania State University." I squealed with glee.
"Thank you, Edward." Jasper echoed. "I'll start loading the car."
I wrapped up the gown, which was very nearly finished, while he packed up the trunks.
"Leave the bolts," I told him as he returned to me. "I'm not taking the machine either." I grabbed my graph paper and incomplete drawings, squaring the pile. "They're coming back here someday. I'll leave them till then. I'm sure we'll find more than enough to fill our time once we get there." I had a premonition of something not enjoyable filling the time, but it was vague and undefined. Too many decisions left to be made, but we were on the path.
He nodded and lifted the gown in his arms instead. "Your hats are still upstairs in the room."
"I'll grab them." I set the papers on top of my sewing kit and headed to our room. Carlisle and Esme's room, I reminded myself. Just because we'd spent the past few months in it, didn't make it ours. They were going to want it back. I sighed and set the papers under one of my larger hats in a box that would accommodate them, then lifted the pile with my kit and met Jasper at the Lincoln.
As terrible as it had been losing the Cullens when they had been so close, I was glad now that they had left when they did. Jasper and I had needed this time together. We were more tightly knit now. He had taken the time to learn this lifestyle. He would find it easier to fit into the family now than he would have before. It was possible to see the change I'd initiated in him. Although he had been polite to a fault before, at least with me, he seemed more civilized overall now. He recognized the things I did to blend in, and that I did them when we were alone. He was still learning the habit. He kept his appearance much neater now, but that had as much to do with staying in one place as anything else. He was stabler. He still let his emotions run with me occasionally, but it was much rarer. His old control had returned. He was very unsure of himself around humans, but I knew that was just a matter of practice.
Knowing the meeting was more imminent, I tried to envision it. Parts were there, but we still had decisions to make. The timing was definitely uncertain, sometimes sun shone in the windows, sometimes it was night. Sometimes the entire family was home, sometimes only one or two. In every one, the members present were put off by Jasper's scars. I would have to address those upfront. No problem there. I would also have to try to reign myself in. My excitement would unnerve them. I'd better take the travel time to prepare for that. Already my excitement was a distraction and we hadn't even left the house.
Jasper took the boxes from me and arranged them in trunk. "Thank you."
"Did you want to drive?" he asked.
I thought about that. "No, I think I'd rather you did."
"All right." He held a question in his eyes. It would be easier if I drove as I could see when we needed to slow or stop for observers, but I had my paper and pencil on the dash. I wanted my hands free, just in case. I was almost vibrating in my seat as he closed my door and got into the driver's side. He laughed at me. "You're going to drive me to distraction with you, at this rate."
I just bounced a little, ignoring him. "Let's go!"
He laughed louder and gunned the engine.
In Pittsburgh, we stopped and I asked for some directions. No one I asked had heard of Saucon Valley. In one diner, I asked about Sacred Heart hospital and finally got somewhere. "Oh, you're too far west for Sacred Heart," piped up a customer who overheard me. "That's in Allentown."
My heart soared. I could find that on a map! I turned to the balding round man. "Would you be familiar with Saucon Valley as well?"
"Hmm, no that doesn't sound familiar." He proceeded to give me directions to Allentown and then the hospital. "I hope your Aunt improves quickly."
"Things are looking up for her already." I told him, remembering my cover story. "I appreciate your help, so much. Can I pay for your meal?"
"Oh, no need for that."
I slipped the waitress a bill with a wink anyway and kissed him on the top of the head. "Thank you."
It was only as I opened the door to leave that I realized what I'd done. How had I managed that? I skipped to the car and leaned in the window to kiss Jasper's cheek. He turned his head to kiss me back.
"Good news, I take it."
I walked around the car and he leaned to open the driver's door for me. I had taken over driving once we hit the state line. "A lovely man in there gave me directions to the hospital in Allentown." I started the car and pulled away.
I pulled into the visitor parking at the hospital and looked around the lot. I could see the entrance to the staff lot. A Cadillac was just pulling in. I gasped and pointed.
"Jasper! That's Carlisle! I'm sure I saw Rosalie working on that car."
"Should we go in then?" he asked, looking to me.
"No." I replied quickly. I didn't need the vision, but it came anyway. Quite horrific. Carlisle would not appreciate having to clean up after the mess we'd make. "He's headed to the Emergency Room."
He laughed quietly. "There would be a real emergency if we joined him there."
I laughed, too. "So, how do I find the house now? Phone book?"
He snorted. "Follow him home."
"I love you." I pulled out of the parking lot, following the path he would take home after his shift. I looked ahead to our future instead of Carlisle's. None of the men would be home, just Rosalie and Esme. That could make things easier.
Sitting outside the house, I stared carefully ahead. This could go badly. It wouldn't. I'd do what I must to prevent that. I squeezed Jasper's hand and waited for him to open my door. Esme opened the door as we topped the stairs.
"Hello? Can I help you?" She saw us for the first time and stepped back through the entry.
I knew a calm introduction would go smoothest, but now that I was here I couldn't control myself. I threw my arms around her neck. "Esme! Mom! It is so good to see you!"
She stiffened and slowly relaxed. "I suppose you should both come inside." Her voice was strained. Jasper's intervention was probably all that kept her from running.
He came forward as I released Esme, stepping back from her while still grinning like a fool. He took her hand and raised it to his lips. "Excuse Alice's exuberance. It is a pleasure and honor to meet you, Esme. I am Jasper, and I am most grateful to you and your family." He leveled his butterscotch eyes on hers and she blinked.
"You..." She whipped her head to my face, taking in my eyes as well. My grin never faltered. "You are like us. I thought we knew all the others."
I was starting to bounce on my toes again. "Can I hug you again?" It took all my self-control to ask.
"Ummm, I suppose." I was in her arms instantly.
"I don't know where I'd be without you," I breathed.
"Does she know she isn't making sense?" Esme asked Jasper over my shoulder.
"Yes. She's just overcome. Alice, love, you're unnerving the poor woman more than I am." I felt lethargic. My arms slid down from her neck and I grinned. "She has seen your family through her gift. She's been waiting a long time to meet you." My excitement was growing again. Jasper looked to me. "And her anticipation is getting the better of her."
Esme was starting to smile now. "Well her enthusiasm is infectious. Alice, dear, it's wonderful to meet you, too, but you should know, I thought you going to take my head off! Please try not to do that to anyone else in the family." I nodded. "Oh come along then." She opened her arms and I jumped into them again. Jasper chuckled quietly.
Suddenly instead of pure joy, I was moving toward hysteria. "I thought I wouldn't find you. I saw them coming for me. I saw myself wild. I saw them burning me. I tried to copy you. I tried to keep myself safe, but I knew I didn't know enough. I knew you'd teach me how to avoid them. I knew I needed to be one of you. And I knew you'd take care of me. I need you, Mom." I squeezed tighter.
"Easy, Alice. We'll help you." Her mothering instinct must have taken over; she'd started stroking my back and hair.
Rosalie came in through the side door. "Who is it, Esme?"
She saw Jasper first and sunk into a defensive crouch.
"It's all right, Rose," Esme assured her. "These are Alice and Jasper, they are going to stay with us for a while." It wasn't until she said it that I could see it. We wouldn't be sent away today. We wouldn't be sent away anytime soon. I squealed and hugged Esme again.