I sat with Esme on the couch, placing orders for various furniture. We had done what we could with the basement last night, but there was still a long way to go. Jasper was filling Carlisle in on his past. I noticed Rosalie come down the stairs and squeeze in next to Emse. This made me notice the time. 2:30. Emmett and Edward would be home any minute. I looked ahead, hoping to see their reactions. They were peeping on us from the doorway and then came in. Not bad then. I returned to swatches and catalog forms.
At 2:55 I called aloud, "Emmett, Edward, why don't you come in?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rosalie jump into Jasper's lap. He smiled at her and put his lips her her ear. I refused to play along. Esme just shook her head at her two boys. "Listening at doorways. Really Edward, I thought we'd raised you better than that."
"Sorry, Mom," Edward said sheepishly. I took a moment to examine him in person. I'd missed Emmett. He was already peeling Rosalie from Jasper and I refused to give that even an iota of my attention. Edward had lovely bronze hair, nicely curly. His eyes were molten butterscotch, freshly back from the hunt, and he stood an infuriating six feet tall. Sometimes being short was a curse.
He smiles at me. In my other sight, I saw him accepting my hug, so I ran to give him one. I remembered every vision of him. His piano playing, his hunting, his time apart, the two of us as friends.
He lifted his head from mine and shook it. Some of my fears of failure returned. Then he kissed the top of my head. "You're right. Everything is going to be okay now. And no, Emmett is not trying to kill Jasper, yet."
I backed up to look at him. "I thought, with everything you've seen, you knew," he told me. I had only given the barest part of my curiosity to the growling violence behind me. Rosalie was loving it I was sure. Edward nodded. He could read my mind. He smiled broadly and nodded again.
I huffed. "And I thought I was annoying."
He grabbed my waist and turned me around, "Jasper doesn't want you to miss all the fun," he whispered in my ear before smacking my ass. What sort of family had I found? I didn't remember seeing any of this before. Edward laughed behind me. "I wouldn't do that to Rosalie, she'd take my hand off."
Sure enough, the boys were crouched defensively. Jasper had his arms around Rosalie still, one hand was slipping up under her blouse. My eyes narrowed. Wasn't he taking this a little far? Why hadn't Esme put a stop to this? Or Carlisle?
"They don't get involved unless the house is at stake," Edward informed me. Then he stepped to my side to look down at me. "You're remarkably composed."
I stuck my tongue out at him. Now Jasper was groping her breast. I took half a step before Edward grabbed my wrist. "They're almost done," he assured me.
"Save me, Jasper," Rosalie called, planting another kiss on my mate's lip, but Emmett had his hands on her waist now and threw her over his shoulder.
Jasper let out a laugh and trotted over to me. I looked cold death at him.
"Edward," he said, "I trust we can introduce ourselves later?" Then he swept me off and carried me up the stairs.
"Hey! That's my room!" I heard Edward yell behind us.
Jasper let go of me to flop on couch; he was still laughing. He stopped suddenly and looked at me. I wasn't laughing, and I wasn't joining him.
"I didn't want to make you angry. I wanted to make you jealous," he muttered to himself.
"So make me stop," I spat.
He shook his head. "Never. I told you. I want you to feel what you feel." I crossed my arms under my breasts, and he came to kneel in front of me. "But I can try to convince you to forgive me," he said. "Slap me," he whispered. I shivered slightly and then complied. He whipped his head back, grabbing my hand and kissing the inside of my wrist. Then he wrapped his arms around my waist and his hands moved up my back. I wished I could blame my change of mood on his gift, but knew I couldn't.
He bowed his head putting his nose to my navel. I nearly gasped. "I'm so sorry, Alice," he mumbled into the cloth of my skirt. It took a lot of strength not to just fold.
Instead, I grabbed a handful of his hair and bent his head back, "You will never do that to me again, Jasper."
The look in his eyes was pure desire. "Never." he swore.
"Okay, this role-playing can be fun," I admitted.
He growled then and the game was over.
Tensions in the house did not drop immediately. I was still miffed at Rosalie for her game. Emmett was livid with Jasper and not ready to forgive. Edward was put out about put out, literally, in the garage. Esme seemed to be at her wits end trying to bring the family back together. I put extra effort into helping her prepare the basement for Edward. He spent very few days in the garage, and although he had to have known upon arriving at the house that we'd moved his things again, he tromped into the garage anyway, growling to himself.
I followed him in. "I... " I didn't bother trying to answer. I was sure he knew what I wanted to say. I hadn't known we were going to be an inconvenience to him specifically. I wanted to make this easier for him. I really appreciated being given the opportunity to be here and had no idea what I'd do if they asked me to leave. The last thought made me choke a little, looking for tears I no longer had.
He hugged me. "I'll try not to let it get to me. My new room is ready?" I pictured it, just as we had finished it. "Great." He smiled now and burst for the house.
Jasper found me still standing in the garage leaning on the Cadillac. "Everything mended?" he asked.
"Not everything, but enough." I let my vision scan, there was worse to come between him and Emmett. I shuddered slightly. I would forgive Rosalie today. If things went ill, I would need her help with Emmett.
Jasper and I spent our days with Carlisle and Esme while Emmett, Rose and Edward were in class. We were being drilled in human pretense. I had already picked up a lot of the habits, twitching, shifting my weight, getting up and repositioning myself, so I was able to take Historia to Carlisle and learn its contents while Esme continued to practice with Jasper. She was beginning to walk with him on cloudy days through the neighborhood. Carlisle and I followed a little behind, the book between us. In the book, I learned who the Volturi were, and through discussion, anout the time Carlisle had spent with them, his attempts to bring more of our kind to his way of thinking. I was surprised and saddened to learn how little success he had. "But why would a person want to be a monster. Especially if there was another way?"
"They don't think of themselves as monsters, just carnivores. Humans are their natural food source, why fight nature?"
"Why wear clothing? Why build homes in cities? These aren't in our nature either. We do them to build better societies, to assist us living together."
He chuckled. "Indeed. I don't know that I tried that particular argument but certainly similar ones. They were never swayed, and eventually I just couldn't stay any longer."
I nodded. Certainly Carlisle would never be easy watching humans brought in for slaughter like cattle. "Well, I'm glad you did. I don't know how I would have gotten to Italy." I giggled.
Jasper froze and crouched. I ran to his side. "Easy, love," I murmured soothingly. A mother and son were playing on their drive. They both stared at him. "Clutch your stomach," I whispered and started to turn him back the way we came. He took a few steps before straightening, the scent passing.
Carlisle clapped his shoulder. "You'll get it, son. You'll get it."
Esme took Jasper's other hand for the walk home.
Jasper found relief in hunting. He went out two or three times a week. I tried to accompany him, but some days, I just couldn't be separated from a new design idea or Carlisle and Historia. It was on one of these excursions that my vision was fulfilled. I was lying on my belly in our room, tracing a pattern, when I heard Emmett and Rosalie head out. I followed their future and found it predictable. Esme was very strict about damage to the house. Then I checked on Jasper's return. Teeth flashing, Jasper whirling onto Emmett.
I leapt to my feet and burst through the door. Edward was on my tail, then he was ahead of me. Damn, he was fast. We were too far, though. Emmett snarled, lunging at Jasper. Jasper flashed aside, taking Emmett's arm in his mouth as Rosalie jumped on Jasper's back, her mouth at his throat.
Edward got there first and pulled Emmett away; Emmett lost a good chunk of bicep. I aimed a kick straight at Rosalie's face and thankfully connected before she landed her strike. I left Jasper and followed through on her, pinning her to the ground. Edward stood between Emmett and Jasper who was now sending calm through the area. Esme had just caught up with us.
"What happened?" she screamed.
Jasper spit out the piece of Emmett. "Sorry, brother, But you really shouldn't attack a guy like that. I nearly took your head." He handed the flesh to Edward who passed it to Emmett.
Rosalie stopped fighting, and I let her get up. She continued to sit on the ground staring in disbelief at Jasper.
"Dammit Emmett!" Edward chided him. "Look at those scars! How dumb are you? Attacking him. It was a game, you great ass! He doesn't have any interest in Rosalie. He just wanted to make Alice jealous."
Emmett huffed and relaxed a little more. Esme was still sizing up the situation. She came to Emmett's side now helping him reattach his muscle. I stretched a hand out to Rosalie. "No hard feelings?" I asked her.
She barked a single laugh. "I don't know about that. I might have to put a foot in your face one day. But I'm glad you stopped me. I'm pretty sure Jasper wouldn't have stopped with my arm."
I shivered remembering how that vision had ended without intervention. "No."
"Well, children," Esme finally spoke again. "If you are done rough-housing, I could use one of you to help me bring in Alice and Jasper's bed from the garage."
And that was it. Somehow violence had made us part of the family. Emmett continued to antagonize Jasper, but it never turned as bad as that first match — just honest sparring that always left Emmett cussing and wanting another chance. One day, he decided to try me instead of Jasper. It was a bad idea. Jasper started to my rescue but I was on Emmett's back before he touched me.
"Oddly, I saw that coming," I taunted and smacked the back of his head before jumping down.
Jasper and Edward both eyed me oddly after that. Then two nights later took their turns. Jasper came at me first. It was certainly more difficult to best him than Emmett. He didn't have a single plan of attack, but I still saw each as he took them and was eventually able to turn one to my advantage, dropping on him from a bough overhead. He laughed freely when I kissed his neck.
Edward was much more difficult. I could still see his attacks, but he of course saw my responses. We must have circled for hours each anticipating the other, rarely attacking, until Jasper finally called us off. I took one last run and tackled Edward in a hug. "That was great!" I giggled. He laughed, too.
I thought I was finally ready to test my resolve and start classes of some sort. Before I went to my first class at the local college, Carlisle had a test for me. I had seen it coming and was sure nothing terrible would happen, but I was still frightened.
"It will be fine, Alice. Just walk me to the desk, and walk back out. I'll be there the whole time, just in case. But I won't need to be." He smiled at me so warmly I couldn't help but feel my confidence bolstered.
Sure, simply walk through the Emergency waiting room past at least one bleeding human. No sweat. I was not going to be able to do this. I could see all the errors I would make, all the horrific outcomes. And one, pristine, perfect one. I clung to it. I had to choose not to obey my urges. I could always hold my breath if it was too bad. I parked the Cadillac in the staff lot and walked with Carlisle through the doors.
It was remarkably easy. Only two humans had open wounds and they were both on the far side of the room. The scent and thirst from this distance were not unbearable. Carlisle squeezed my hand when I reached the desk, "See?"
He had so much faith in me. I didn't deserve it. "Yes. Thank you."
He kissed my forehead. "Good. Now pick me up at the end of my shift, please."
That part was not a test. I could of course see exactly when he would finish with his last patient, 10:45. I chose to test myself and arrived at 10:30. I took a seat in the waiting room and tried not to stare at the people. There were more wounds and I was closer to them now. None were exceptionally bad though. Most of the blood had dried. I looked ahead to Carlisle's last patient. A little girl with brown hair, about three. My eyes regained focus and I continued to blink. I was still seeing the girl. Now she waved at me. Ah, she was actually standing in front of me. That was confusing. Her smell was very alluring; I did my best to ignore it. She had a doll tucked under one arm.
"Hello," I said to her, patting the seat next to me. She climbed up. "My name is Alice. Are you here to see the doctor?" I asked. She nodded, her eyes wide. "Are you scared?" I asked. She nodded again even more furiously. Her brown locks bounced wafting her scent to me. I locked my lips for a second before speaking again. "Well don't be. My dad's a doctor. The best one there is. He won't hurt you; he'll take very good care of you." She smiled at me showing perfectly spaced baby teeth. Her blue eyes glittered at me.
"Justine Higgenbotham," the receptionist called and the girl's mother came to take her hand. She waved to me as she left. I looked back to the seat Justine had sat upon. There was her doll. Well, I would just catch her as she left. I examined the doll carefully and pulled a needle and thread from my bag while I waited. I stitched an eye back in place and tightened a lose arm. I also mended a hole in the tiny dress.
Fifteen minutes passed quickly, and I saw Justine coming out in her mother's arms. I skipped up to them. "You forgot your doll." I told her and handed it to her.
She smiled broadly at me. "Thank you, Alice!"
"Didn't I tell you Carlisle was a good doctor?" I asked her.
"Yes. He's nice." She hugged her doll and tucked her head into her mother's shoulder.
"Remember, Justine. Marbles are for playing with, not inhaling," Carlisle chided her.
"Was that what was wrong with her?" I asked Carlisle. "No wonder she wouldn't speak to me earlier." I giggled.
"Well, I'm all done now. I'm a little surprised you were here already," he said, offering his arm.
"Just testing myself now," I said replied, looking down.
"And you continue to pass?"
"Yes. I think I'm ready for class next week."
"More than ready," he said, stepping into the car.
Looking through my bookstore, I heard a rumbling.
"Don't growl at me, Jasper. We know you're trying; we aren't judging you. If it really bothers you so much that I go to class in the evenings, I'll put it off. I don't have to start this year. I can wait 'til Edward's done high school and go to Penn State with him."
This just made him growl louder. "Do I need to bring Edward in here? Or are you going to tell me what you're thinking?"
"I'm loathing myself, all right? I don't want to hold you back, but I don't want to be without you." He turned away from me.
"Jas, you're not holding me back. I can learn plenty right here. I can work with you. I can work on my designs."
"But you want to go to school. I felt it when you read the course calendar, picking a class. You were excited."
"You excite me too," I reminded him, touching his cheek. "I'm proud of you, Jasper." I pulled him to sit on the bed so I could look into his eyes. "You've chosen to live this life. You chose it. That is the largest part of all. Most of our kind don't. They see nothing wrong with what they do, but you did. Just because you falter, just because you fail, it doesn't make the choice any less important."
He let out a breath. "Thank you for trying."
I stamped my foot, "Dammit, Jasper. Come with me." I took his hand and ran all the way to high school. Emmett and Rosalie were at a dance tonight. As I ran, I looked ahead. This would work. I pushed open the door to the gymnasium. The smell of the students was overwhelming. I turned to Jasper, "Don't take your eyes off me." I pulled him amidst the dancers and began leading in reverse. We probably looked a little odd, and certainly no one but Rose and Emmett recognized us, but Jasper danced with me for four songs, each one a little less jerky than the last. At the end of the fifth song, I kissed him. "See. You can do it. Let's go home." I waved to Emmett as I pulled Jasper out. He and Rose found us outside.
"Way to go, Jas." Emmett clapped Jasper on the back and grinned at him.
"Are you all right, Jasper?" Rosalie asked. Jasper hadn't moved much since we left the gymnasium. We were fortunate no one was around to watch us.
"Yeah... just... a little numb."
"You'll be fine," I assured him.
"I... I think I'm going to hunt," he declared.
shrugged to Emmett and Rose before chasing after him. After that, Jasper didn't seem to have as much of a problem with walking me to and from class.
And so I was sitting in a small room, surrounded by delectable humans, listening to a teacher prattle about Dracula. I had had to laugh when I received the reading list and saw this, Frankenstein and Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde on it. I gathered, based on the reaction of my classmates, that the book choices were designed to encourage interest among them. It seemed to be working. As the discussions began, I was much more interested as well. Although I'd found the monsters in the stories truly laughable, discussing the nature of monsters was wonderfully engaging. I kept wondering if any of them would guess there was a real vampire in the room with them, but none did.