Edward held my hand as we entered the brick building. "You can do this," he reminded me. "Mind over blood." I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed. "Okaty, you can do this, because you can see you can do this." That worked.
I relaxed a little and squeezed his hand. "Thanks. I'll see you in a couple of hours." I found an empty seat in the auditorium. A red head with a nose covered in freckles plopped in the seat next to me. "Am I late?" she asked.
"Doesn't look like it." I said, leaning slightly away. She smelled so good. I drew circles with the wrong end of my pen, trying to distract myself. It got worse as more people entered the room. The saving grace was the Professor starting the lecture. It gave me something to focus on. I only barely managed to keep up as he began discussing the nature of reality. How could one prove things existed if no one observed them? It was fascinating. I let my mind drift with his words and was a little surprised when I heard people moving around me. It was over? I looked at my watch. I couldn't believe two hours had passed. I was lucky the other students were as focused on the lecture; I was pretty sure I hadn't moved at all, even to take notes.
"I don't know how I'm going to manage to pass this class..." the red head moaned. "Did you understand any of that?"
"I think 'understand' might be an overstatement," I admitted rolling my eyes.
"I'm Lisa," she told me holding out her hand.
I took a deep breath, stinging my nose with her scent. "Alice." I took her hand. "Bad circulation," I told her when she looked at it.
"Ah, my mother's feet are always cold too. Do you have any other classes here Alice?" She was smiling. I wasn't freaking her out.
"I'm in Ethics with Professor Donaldson tomorrow, you?"
"Logic with Matthau."
"Right, I have that on Wednesday. I'll see you there." I smiled back at her. She was totally buying my 'human' act. I was filled with relief.
She smiled back. "Maybe you can help me 'understand' that class too." She tittered slightly, covering her mouth. The hall was nearly empty now. I saw Jasper standing at the back. Lisa did too. "Who is he?" she breathed.
I slipped past her. "My husband," I told her.
"I'm definitely joining your study group," she whispered, following tentatively.
I laughed as I climbed the stairs, "Jas, this is Lisa. Lisa, this is Jasper Cullen, my husband. And he isn't in class, he's just picking me up." I noticed a book under his arm. "You borrow my card already?"
He chuckled. "Yeah." The mind and heart: emotions and their impact on modern psychology.
"Nice pick," I said, flipping the book over to read the back. I heard Lisa gasp again and looked up. Both my brother and husband in the same room? Lisa was probably having a handsome overload. "Hey, Edward. Lisa, this is my... Edward. He's Jasper's brother's adopted son... Edward. Edward, Lisa."
"Pleased to meet you," he said politely, taking her hand.
Lisa blushed and turned to flee. "I'll see you Wednesday, Alice."
"Definitely." I waved to her.
"Well that was refreshing," Edward commented. I looked at him questioningly. "She didn't try to undress me."
I laughed, "Too busy eying up Jasper?"
"Actually no. She was worried she wouldn't be able to join your study group since they seem to all be men." He laughed with me now.
In Logic, Lisa introduced me to Debbie. A petite blond with blue eyes hidden behind glasses. Lisa sat between us as the lecture began. This time the professor outlined the rules of reason. How you could positively or negatively infer information. It was very confusing with all the vague words, but eventually it started to make more sense.
"Alice?" Lisa whispered in the middle of class.
I blinked. Damn, I hadn't been moving. "Did I fall asleep?" I whispered back and tittered a little. "Freaks my sister out when I sleep with my eyes open like that. Sorry." Would she buy that? I wouldn't buy that.
She chuckled quietly. "Good way to not get caught," she allowed. Good thing I could lie well. I bit my lip and picked up my pencil, making a note to take notes from now on.
At the end of class Jasper was waiting for me again. Debbie and Lisa walked out with me. Debbie was awestruck. I ran up and kissed him. "Jasper, this is Debbie."
"We've met," he said casually, smiling at her. They had? How had I not seen that? Was I really that engrossed in class?
Debbie blushed and I moved to block Jasper's view of her. I could see that blood tempting him. "Well, that's good. I think she'll be joining my study group with Lisa."
Jasper angled out the door. Debbie's blush was still affecting him. I flipped through the future. Edward would meet him outside in a minute. He was fine for now.
"Is he all right?" Lisa asked, her face full of concern. "He doesn't look well, all ashy. Something he ate?"
"Yeah, that's probably it," I lied again. "I'll see you next week," I added with enthusiasm.
Jasper sat outside on a bench with his head in his hands. Edward had a hand on his shoulder. I skipped up to them. "I'm sorry, Jas. You have that effect on women, I'm afraid." I teased.
He snorted, not looking up. "Lucky me." His voice was desolate. He hadn't failed. He had extracted himself. He'd done exactly the right thing. Why was he feeling so badly?
I sat beside him and put my head on his shoulder. "All better now?"
He put his arm around me, "Yeah. Better." His voice lightened a little. I was sure that was due to my presence.
"So where did you meet Debbie?" I asked, genuinely curious.
"In the library last night. She helped me find that book. She's a psych major."
I nodded. I was far too engrossed in my metaphysics class to have looked into Jasper's future, especially for a chance encounter with a human. They were still almost non-existant in my visions. I wondered why. "I guess she didn't blush that time?" I teased.
"No, she didn't. I'm going home." He got up. I looked to Edward for help. He didn't mean our apartment; he really had decided to go back to Hellertown.
"Jasper, wait." I ran after him at a human pace, but he didn't slow.
Edward came to my side. "Give him a minute, then I'll try again." He put an arm around my shoulders. "You probably should prepare yourself in case I can't change his mind, though."
I nodded, wishing I could still cry. I went back to our two bedroom flat and pulled out my books to read again. I didn't get far before visions of Jasper leaving distracted me too badly to continue. They disappeared abruptly and he was back on campus with me. I sighed in relief. He and Edward came in a short while later. I ran and hugged Jasper. "I love you. I'm so glad you're staying."
"I love you, too. I'll keep trying. I'll keep my eyes on you." Thank you, Edward. I thought to him. He tipped his hat before removing it and heading to his room.
Jasper found more and more books in the library. I often saw him there on Fridays, my only lecture-free night. That was when my study group gathered to work on whatever assinments we'd collected during the week, or hadn't finished the week before. With the complex concepts we were discussing in class, discussing them out of class was very helpful. Especially when trying to nail down a specific idea for a paper.
Our group started as three, Lisa, Debbie and I. Eventually it grew as more and more classmates heard about it. Now there were an even dozen of us. I hoped no one was feeling ostracized, but we really couldn't squeeze anyone else in. The librarians were not impressed with our size as it stood. Lisa was happy to have some non-females join. The first was John. He was only in Logic with us, but grateful for the assitance. He was taller then me — but who isn't — yet not as tall as Jasper, just under six feet. He had dark skin and hair — latino, I thought. The second was Barry. He was a little shorter again, round, and very friendly. He had brown eyes that were always warm. He would make very subtle passes at all of the girls, but none, aside from me, who he avoided, seemed to notice or take him up on them. I felt bad about that. He was a great guy, even if he wasn't at the top in the looks department.
Edward joined us one day. He was familiar with the subjects and jumped right into several discussions. The Librarians had offered us an isolated room by this point so we no longer had to whisper. He impressed everyone very quickly. The girls, of course, he impressed as soon as he walked in the door. I could see him giving many the brush-off in the next couple days. I would have to apologize.
"Thanks for coming to our study group, Edward." I began.
"No problem," he said with a smile. "They were all very interesting to listen to. You have a good group there, very dynamic. Their minds were everywhere. Very nice."
Oh good. He had enjoyed it. I was sorry it was going to give him even minor headaches. "Don't stress over it Alice," he said with a chuckle. "It happens whatever I'm doing." He ran a hand through his hair, smug. It doesn't happen to me everywhere, all the time, I thought.
"That's because you have that ring on your finger," he explained. "I toy with the idea, but I don't think it would work as well for me. It would also be a total lie in my case."
I looked at the plain band on my finger. I'd picked it up in Seattle with the ID's months ago. It reminded me that Jasper and I had never had a 'wedding.' Not like Rosalie and Emmett's anyway. I didn't consider myself any less his wife, just a little jealous. But Edward didn't need me moaning about that, even in my head.
"Have you told him?" he asked anyway.
I shook my head. "I will. I wanted to ask you something else, though. You met Barry?" I checked.
He nodded.
"He's a great guy. Why didn't any of the girls take his bait? Were any thinking about him at all tonight? Just if you noticed, of course." I knew he didn't like intruding on the minds of others. Although his gift was extremely handy, it did come with it's own problems. No wonder he was so good at ethics. The good versus bad of eavesdropping in someone's brain. I was glad I didn't have to deal with that one. I could see their future and I had to wrestle with whether or not to tell someone, but usually that was an easy choice. I only really blabbed what I knew in critical instances. This was obviously not critical. I was mostly curious.
"One or two. If he'd made a pass at them, they either just missed it or were too shy to act on it. That happens a lot," he said with a shrug. "It's worse in high school. I spend so much time listening to two people each thinking how wonderful the other is and never saying more than 'hello' to each other. It's all so juvenile."
"Yeah, juvenile." I was thinking of playing matchmaker; that was pretty juvenile, too. I let the matter go.
I took Lisa and Debbie to a coffee shop with Jasper after class one night. "So, what do you two do when you're not in class or study group?" I asked. "I'm guessing you are old friends?"
"Yeah," Lisa started. "We went to High School together, in Reading. Debbie was on Year Book committee. I was a cheerleader, if you can believe that," she laughed. I could. She was very enthusiastic. "What about you and Jasper? How long have you been together?"
He shifted in his seat and I could tell he was holding his breath as much as possible. I took his hand under the table and squeezed. He still didn't breath but stilled somewhat. "We're still newlywed," I told them and kissed him whispering against his lips. "Excuse yourself to the bathroom, if you need." He smiled as we parted.
"Yes, we've only been married a year, but it seems like we've been together forever," he told them. "Will you excuse me?" he asked, rising.
"Where did you find him?" Lisa asked as soon as he left.
"In a diner, here in town, actually. He came in to get out of the rain, and I knew the moment I saw him that we were meant to be together." All true, with some missing information.
Both girls sighed and their eyes went soft. "He's so dreamy," Debbie said. "Something is bothering him, though. Can you share?" She was observant. Of course, her major was psychology, she was probably noticing the signs.
"Yes, he has some, control issues." that was close yet vague enough, I thought. He wanted to be in control of himself, his appetite. But I could never tell them that.
Debbie nodded. "That sounds right. It would explain why he leaves so abruptly, so often. Avoiding situations where he isn't in control. He knows he doesn't need to worry about us, right? We're not trying to interfere with him." Her eyes were concerned now.
How was I supposed to answer that? Of course they were interfering with him; they were making him thirsty. They were making me thirsty, but I'd grown used to it. "I'm sure he does."
Debbie nodded, "He must. Sometimes, with us, in the Library most often, he seems much less... troubled than other times. He also prefers smaller groups doesn't he?" How much attention was she giving my Jasper? I was starting to become annoyed.
Lisa noticed and stepped in. "They need a case study for Debbie's psychology class. She's hoping to use Jasper for hers."
"Oh!" I suddenly understood. "Don't you have to have a one on one session for that?"
Debbie blushed and looked down. "Eventually I will, yes. I'm trying to glean as much from casual interaction as I can. My professor thinks it is much more informative, especially if you observe them in different situations, different groups. I've... I've watched you two outside class. I should have told you before, but then you might not respond the same way. I've watched the two of you with Edward. He is very different when it is the three of you. Much more... natural, I think. Yet, this group isn't much larger, but he is completely different again. He is making for a very interesting paper." Her eyes glittered and I worried.
"Um, yes, he is, very interesting." How much was she following us? Had she seen anything she shouldn't? I tried looking into Debbie's future, to see if she would expose us.
She was going to be in trouble. Someone was going to attack Debbie. It was some months away — I saw a flower bed on campus full of petunias and no one would be planting those until April at the earliest. But she wasn't going to expose us. I tried to come back to their conversation.
"Yes, I know he's her husband, and she has every right to be protective, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm not trying to 'get with' him, I'm studying him. He's fascinating!"
I chuckled. "Yes, he is. Don't worry. I was a bit put out at how much attention you were giving him. But now that I know it's in an objective sense, well subjective — scientific. Anyways, it doesn't bother me so much. Let me know when you want to talk to him alone. I'll try to ease him into it. He's very shy around new people." Around human people, I amended in my head. "But I'm sure we can convince him. For the sake of your paper. I'd be interested to see your notes. I might be able to clear up any misconceptions you gathered from your point of view." And I'll make sure there aren't any strange notes like, 'can run faster than a car' in them.
"That would be great!" Debbie said with a smile. "I'll bring them on Friday." She got up now, grabbing her bag. "I should go though. I have a lecture at nine tomorrow morning."
"Eeww, nine? Well, I'll walk you back to the dorm. See you tomorrow, Alice. I hope Jasper's all right." Lisa followed after Debbie. She was right, it had been a while since Jasper had left us. I looked over my shoulder to see him lurking just around the corner.
"They're gone. You can come out now," I teased.
He grumbled incomprehensibly as he came to sit with me again. "Why is it so hard for me?" he moaned, putting his head in his hands again. We were alone in the shop now. "Maybe Debbie's project will give you some insight you can share, if she can get close to the mark with so little information. I'm reading all her course material trying to find the answer myself. I mean, it has to be a mind thing, right?"
"You knew?" I asked. How long had he noticed her watching him? Why hadn't he said something before.
He nodded. "Something that first day, in the Library. She looked at me and her emotions went from light infatuation to nothing. No emotion at all. Now there's some sympathy, but that day, nothing. I figured she wasn't looking at me as a man anymore, not really. I was an object, a subject. Then I noticed her watching more often, in more places. At first I worried, but she was still going to your study group, so she mustn't think anything was wrong with me."
I shook my head in disbelief. How much of Jasper's life was I missing while I was in the classroom? How much had I given up? Was it a fair exchange?
"So, I decided to learn more about her. I found out what classes she was in, mostly by following her instead of vice versa. Then I got her book list." He shrugged; he obviously didn't think much of it. "Don't worry, Alice. I'm all right. She's all right. She hasn't seen anything we don't want her to see. I can recognize her scent now; she's been following so much. I do hope you'll tell me what her notes say."
"I will not," I declared. His mouth fell open. "I don't know much about psychology Jasper, but I'm pretty sure your knowledge invalidates the observations. Unless you're ready for some one-on-one sessions with her?" He shook his head eyes wide. "Then she will need to be able to continue to observe you from a distance. Am I wrong? You've read the books."
He shook his head and slumped across the small table. "No, you're right. You'll tell me later though?" he asked, looking at me from under lashes.
"Of course!" I said happily.
Edward wasn't pleased to learn of our bespectacled shadow. "You didn't hear about her from Jasper?" I asked when he called me on my observation of Debbie.
"No. He'd noticed her, too, but never thought about what she was doing there. She's studying us. That's incredibly dangerous for all of us, and you know it, Alice."
"I do. I also know she hasn't seen anything to think Jasper is anything other than a particularly interesting troubled mind. What was I supposed to say? 'I know my husband is a great test subject, but back off?'"
"That's exactly what you should have said." He pinched his nose, giving me an indication how irritated he was with me.
"I've looked ahead. She isn't going to expose us." I thought on the vision.
"That could be worse," he muttered. "If anyone connects Jasper to her disappearance it could be a lot worse."
"I'm hoping he can prevent her disappearance," I said harshly. "Or that I can. I don't think this is a problem, yet."
"Yet," he sighed. "I was really hoping to start a residency this time. That was really too much to hope for wasn't it?"
"You would? You could?" I couldn't imagine being in a hospital for more than a few minutes.
"I don't know if I could," he said quietly. "Now I'm not going to know."
"It's not going to come to that. I can prevent it. I just have to make the right choice at the right time." I was adamant. We were going to finish this term. Debbie was going to be fine and if Edward was crazy enough to start a residency, he could. I clenched my teeth and strode off, determined.