Chapter 4

Adventuring is something that I've just been accustomed to in the past year or so. I didn't have much of a choice and there haven't been very many enjoyable parts. I remember Gorion telling me once that even if what you do is normally not fun, the people you do it with can make all the difference. In the past couple of weeks, I realize that he was completely right. I did have rather good luck when it came to my traveling companions. Not only were they all great in a fight, but they were all decent people who I could trust with my life.

The sun broke through the clouds as the began to drift away. It had just risen, although we had no way of knowing that. It turns out that the werewolf we found had her pack possessed by a Shade Lord and that was what was causing problems in Imnesvale. We killed the Shade Lord and destroyed his Shadow Altar, which had blanketed the land in a magical darkness. The Shade Lord also had a pet dragon which proved to be a little troublesome. Luckily, my arrows managed to hit its eyes and blind it. Then the rest was fairly simple.

So after wrapping up that adventure, Minister Lloyd offered me the cabin that belonged to their previous ranger. It was actually really nice, and it was mine. We decided to spend a little time in the Umar Hills to make a permanent base in Amn so we could always return if we needed to. It was nice and quiet, and if I didn't have to run around Faerûn all the time, I might have actually thought about living there.

Our next task was to head back to Athkatla to help out Valygar with the giant magical sphere that just appeared there. He said it belonged to his ancestor Lavok Corthala, who extended his life by stealing the bodies of his descendents. I could see why the man was slightly worried.

Valygar held magic in contempt. He made this known to me almost as soon as he joined the party. Apparently his parents had been great wizards and suffered a terrible fate because of it, but Valygar did not delve any further into the matter. Frequently, I caught him staring at Aerie. Valygar always wore an expressionless face, so it was impossible to tell what he was thinking. I decided I would have to approach him about it later.

The sun was setting and we were all packed into the cabin for the night before setting out in the morning. I had stacked the firewood in the fireplace and was about to get the flint to light it when I heard Aerie's voice. "Jeffix! Let me help!"

I laughed. "I just have to light it now, Aerie. Don't worry about it."

"Here, let me light it," she said. "I memorized 'Burning Hands' today!"

My head shot up. "'Burning Hands'? Aerie! Wait!" It was too late. Fire shot from her fingertips at the pyre I'd constructed. I backed away and covered my face from the blast. It lasted for about three seconds, after which my pile of wood had been reduced to ash.

Aerie gasped, so shocked that her plan had gone awry. "Oh no! I...I'm sorry! I wanted to help. I didn't mean to incinerate anything!"

"I'm afraid that's what 'Burning Hands' does," I said, "but don't worry. I'll just go find more wood. That was a good spell, but how about we save it for hostile opponents?"

"I just wanted to help," she said quietly.

"Don't worry. Just promise not to burn anything else until I return, okay?"

"I promise." I then ran outside and into the woods so I wasn't around for what happened next. She told me she sat down feeling disappointed in herself when Valygar approached her and spoke.

"I cannot understand it, Aerie. Why this magic? Why from you, of all people? You are too good and innocent to practice such things."

She looked up at him. "But... but it is who I am, it is how Quayle taught me."

"I know, I know, but... magic corrupts. The very power of magic twists a mage's soul a little each day. There's always one more spell to learn or cast. Before you know it you've spent your life in the library, having never seen the daylight, never truly lived. Believe me, I know this only too well."

"But that is how I was in the circus when I was kept in a... a cage. It was horrible, Valygar, but Quayle came and healed me, healed my sores where... He healed where my wings came off. He taught... He taught me magic, and it freed me. It's not spells that change people. Good people do good things."

"I hope you're right, Aerie. For your sake and mine." Valygar walked off leaving Aerie alone.

Aerie felt so useless and so disappointed in herself. Nobody had any faith in her. Nobody thought she was worth anything. She got up, left the cabin, and headed into the woods on her own.

I was in the middle of the woods trying to find more dead wood to burn. I wasn't having much luck. I may have cleared out all the dead wood in the forest before Aerie burned it to ashes. As I thought that, I realized she was just trying to help and I shouldn't resent her for it. She got enough of that from Jaheira. I pushed branches out of the way and kept walking with my eyes turned toward the ground, looking for dead wood. Suddenly I noticed a pair of footprints in the soft ground. They looked like pretty standard boots so it could have been anyone. I decided to follow the trail and see where it led me.

When the trees finally diverged, I was standing on the bank of a large stream facing the cliffs just outside of Imnesvale. Immediately to my left were the boots that made the footprints. I also found an orange robe folded up next to them and something else I recognized, the wolf shawl I gave Aerie. Nothing was torn so there wasn't a struggle. Did she go for a dip in the stream? I looked around for any signs of movement under the water.

I was beginning to get worried when I couldn't see her at first. Suddenly, I saw her head poke above the water in the middle of the stream. I breathed a sigh of relief. She was all right. As soon as my worries passed, I realized she was naked and I should not be looking right at her. I decided to retreat back into the forest and listen for if any danger appeared. I turned my back and sat down against a tree facing away from the stream.

After a while, I heard a few quiet splashes as Aerie exited the water. I decided I should make myself known. "Aerie?" I said out loud, still concealing myself. I heard her gasp. "Don't worry," I said. "It's only me."

"Where are you?" she asked.

"I'm hiding behind the tree until you're fully clothed," I said. "I followed your trail hoping nothing had happened."

"You... you tracked me?"

"Of course I did," I said. A few silent seconds passed. "Is everything okay?" I asked. "Why did you leave the cabin?"

"I... I just needed to get away for a little while," she said.

"We should get back," I said, beginning to stand. "The minister invited us all to a big feast to celebr-" I stopped. I had stood a little too soon. Aerie was still fixing the top half of her robe. Her back was turned to me and for a split second, I saw her scars. Whoever had done the amputation did a terrible job. They were dark and jagged and with one very short look at them, I could see and sense everything she had gone through in her time as a captive.

"Jeffix?" She turned around and looked at me, now completely under her robe. She saw the pained look in my eyes. I wanted to hug her and tell her how sorry I was.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I got distracted. Come on, let's go back and get ready for the feast. I can look for firewood tomorrow." She nodded and began to walk back ahead of me.

The feast was excellent. The citizens of Imnesvale were very happy indeed that we had saved their village from the Shade Lord, and as such, made the best feast imaginable. Only one thing kept me from enjoying it fully. I kept looking at Aerie, who ate quietly and kept her head low. She didn't look like she was having fun at all. After the feast, music began playing and people began dancing. Aerie sat on a chair in the corner of the room, avoiding talking to anybody. Finally, she got up and walked out of the inn. I headed out after her.

"Aerie?" I called her name. Night had fallen and I am not gifted with infravision like elves are. "Where are you?"

"Over here," I heard her voice almost whisper. I found her sitting down against one of the posts in front of the inn.

"What's the matter?" I asked her. "You should be having fun with the rest of us." She looked at me but didn't answer. "If you don't want to tell me, that's fine," I said as I sat down next to her, "but at least let me stay here and keep you company."

"Okay," she whispered.

"What's bugging you?" I asked her.

"You saw me today in... in the stream, didn't you?"

"I... picked up your trail and found you there, yes. I did my best to keep my distance and did not look once I knew you were okay. I didn't want to offend you in any way."

"So you... you saw them?"

"I... I don't... Aerie, what's the matter?"

"I... I have been looking at the scars... on my back. The stumps that were... that were once my wings. They do not... they do not make me truly homely, do they? Am I... am I ugly to you?"

"Have some backbone, girl," We both turned our heads and saw Jaheira standing there with her arms crossed in a disapproving manner. "Do not wilt like a flower and expect him to pick you up. Have some respect for yourself."

"I was j-just asking for his opinion," Aerie said shocked. "Is that so bad, Jaheira?"

"I suggest you forget your scars, child. Life has treated you harshly, but it will be harsher, still, if you cannot get over your loss."

"I... I don't..." Aerie stuttered. Jaheira sighed and walked back inside. She gave me a look that said 'You're on your own'. Aerie's cheeks turned red. She turned back to me but kept her eyes pinned to the ground. "It was silly of me to ask you, Jeffix. I just... respect your opinion. I have no idea what I look like... to men."

I cupped her chin with my gloved finger and raised her eyes to meet mine. "It would take far more than a couple of scars to hide all the other beauty you possess, Aerie," I gently said.

"R-really? You are... very kind to say so, Jeffix." She looked down before standing up and taking a few steps away. I stood up and stood behind her. "I... I suppose I am too proud, that I miss my white wings so. When I was first enslaved, I was kept in a small cage and put on display. I had no room to stand, much less stretch my wings."

She turned back around to face me and she looked as if she were about to cry. "I... I tried to warn my captor, I pleaded to him... but my wings withered and became bloody and diseased. Until, finally, he was forced to..." She let herself fall against me, her head landing on my shoulder and her hands to my chest as I tried my best to comfort her, "to... saw them off. It was... it was so painful and horrid! I've felt like a great part of me has been missing ever since. I am incomplete. I... do not feel beautiful, Jeffix. Not anymore."

"You've placed too much of yourself in your wings, Aerie. You have to look at the rest of yourself and find beauty in that, too."

"It is... very hard for I shall try to think as you say... and I thank you for your kind words."

"Aerie, is this really what has been bothering you this whole time?" I asked. "Because you needn't worry. I have seen your scars and they do not make me think any less of you. Quite the opposite, I admire you very much for enduring such an ordeal. Not only are you strong to have lived through it, but you are still very beautiful. Your scars do nothing to hinder that."

"Thank you, Jeffix," she said.

"And if you ever feel this way again, I want you to tell me. I don't want you to feel like you're inadequate in any way, because you aren't."

"Thank you. Talking to you had made me feel much better."

I let go of her and said "I don't suppose you would want to rejoin the party?"

"I think I'd rather avoid such a loud place," she smiled.

"Would you like to go for a walk before going back to the cabin?" I asked?

"Yes, I would like that," she smiled, taking my hand. "I found a very nice spot in the woods today. I'll show it to you."

"Lead the way, my lady," I said.