Wow, I am literally crying at all the great reviews you all left me for the last chapter! You've made me ecstatic, thank you so much! Wish I could throw you guys a party or give you presents or something! So, klolo8, anon, Bridget Narcissa Malfoy, Gabsikle, 801-chan, yoursomeday, onlythatdaydawns, squoctobird, and SiriusHPLover, you guys have my heart okay?
Moving on, a little reply to squoctobird: Yes, this story is going to be focusing more on the premise of their relationship and its hardships following the stories of the songs in the fanmix. A little spoiler, things start getting real angsty in Part Two, so enjoy the easy-fluffy winding road of Part one while you can!
I hope you guys enjoy Chapter Four. I really love the way it came out, and this has been dubbed my sister and I's "favorite chapter"! We also like the song it's based off of, "Faster" by Matt Nathanson, easily a top liked on part one of the fanmix!
On a side-note, we are officially a month away from the release of Elevate. I am so stoked!
Find the inspiring fanmix at:
theprincessandrajah's tumblr! (slash)tagged(slash)the_kogan_fanmixes
The Kogan Trilogy:: Falling is Like This
PART I- Falling is Like This
CHAPTER FOUR:: Faster
PART ONE: Speeding Up
'I love you, Logan.'
The brunet could not believe he had just heard those words come out of Kendall Knight's mouth. Love... as in love-love? As in head over heels for him love? As in Kendall wanted to date him love?
That was an entirely different possibility of what Logan had thought the blonde would tell him. He had expected maybe some kind of a lecture, or maybe even a scolding, a rejection of their friendship, or even Kendall telling him he'd figured out everything he had done was just to hide his obsession with him and how weird he was—but not this!
"You don't… you don't mean that in friend terms do you?" Logan couldn't help asking. He just needed to know that what he was hearing wasn't some hoax, a joke, and it wasn't helping that the genius couldn't quite see Kendall's honest expressions right about now.
The blonde breathed a loud sigh, bringing his hands up to fist in his hair, "Please don't make this any harder than it already is…"
That exasperated tone definitely wasn't a fake one, that's for sure, and now Logan was even doubly stunned than he was before. He really did not know how he was supposed to respond to this, and he needed to analyze this new piece of information before he could even think of a way to respond.
"Uhm… give me a second, I kind of need to process this." Logan held a hand up as he racked his brain for reasons as to how, everything that happened the past weeks, all of Kendall's actions, how it all added up to this "love" thing.
The hockey jock stayed in silence for the moment then. He didn't dare to move from the spot in which he stood. Although, his nerves were beyond shaking and he couldn't handle anymore silence, or waiting. He wanted a response to this now. Anything, something, just as long as the brunet didn't leave him here questioning every step he'd made this afternoon.
"Oh god, Logan if anything just let me know if you hate me or something, don't keep me in this quiet here to think." Kendall was practically begging, the questions surging through his mind starting to overwhelm his conscious.
"No, no, I don't hate you." The other responded almost instantly, hands itching to reach out and grab his friend in case he dared to run, though he didn't because he worried it'd be an invasion of his space. He willed Kendall to stay and bit his lip, "I just… I didn't expect for you to say that. At all. And I guess I'm just trying to see how it makes sense that you could… feel that… for me…"
Kendall didn't miss the notion that Logan had skipped out on saying the "L" word. Honestly, it only hurt him a little, because it meant that Logan certainly didn't feel the same strong affection back, especially when he had hoped so much that he did. Now wasn't the time to dwell over that though.
"You don't need to understand how I ended up liking you- heck, I don't even know how myself -all you need to know is that I feel this way now and I want to know… I want to know what you think about it."
What he thought about it?
Well, he couldn't see any other way to respond than to be honest. Honesty was a hell a lot of embarrassment right now but, the brunet deemed, that since Kendall had been courageous enough to come out with his feelings then he might as well spill everything.
He shuffled his feet, and looked up. "Okay, to be truthful, I'm fine with it. It's a little… stunning, but nothing I can't handle. I don't hate you, I don't… uh, think it's weird and," Logan gave a brief pause before continuing. "The… the thing is I don't- how do you know that you're really, yknow, with me? I mean, how do you know it's not a minor obsession, or a phase or -"
"I can't explain it to you. It's, for a lot of reasons really. But I can tell you I'm sure, there isn't someone else I've had my eyes, and mind, on since the start of this year..." Kendall answered earnestly, and then furrowed his eyebrows in thought, "Why?"
Logan glanced away at that moment, scratching the back of his neck as he admitted, "Because I wanted to be sure that I also… to you."
The blonde perked up at this. He practically demanded, "Go on."
He gave a sigh, closing his eyes, "I've been thinking about you a lot these past months. It was really just thinking at first, but then it turned into a… lot of thinking. I thought you would find out one day that the only person I spent time with on campus was you, possibly also discovering my thoughts… so I got girlfriends. They were also supposed to try and stop the, uh… obsession."
"Did it work?" Kendall couldn't help interjecting, causing the other to open his eyes.
At this, Logan couldn't help giving the other a smirk as he outstretched his arms and gestured to the both of them, "What do you think?"
Kendall beamed a smile and couldn't hold himself back any longer. The eighteen year old practically threw himself at Logan, wrapping his arms around his shoulders tightly, burying his face in his hair. The shorter boy smelled of lavender shampoo, mixed with his own unique fresh scent, and he felt so comfortable and warm against his chest. Finally, finally, Kendall had him in his arms just like he'd wanted for all these weeks and he couldn't be any happier.
"K-Kendall I never said that I l-l-lo-"
"I know." The blonde pulled away reluctantly, but he had to in order to show Logan that he understood. Their eyes met, illuminated by the dim light of the lamppost behind them and he explained, "I get it. You don't know if you feel the same way back, but you do know that you feel something because you think of me. You're not entirely sure of what that means yet though. It's okay."
Logan's eyes widened slightly, "Wow, you are smart."
He chuckled, "Got it all from your questions. Not all of us hockey players lack a brain you know."
"Only in American government, huh?"
"You're never going to stop teasing me about that are you?"
Logan gave a smile, "Nope."
Kendall returned the gesture before speaking, "Logan, I have just one more thing to ask you before you go back to your room."
"What is it?"
He gripped the other's shoulders, lips settling back into a straight line as he locked with the other's eyes in a serious manner, "Go out with me, Logan. I know that you're not sure of what you feel, or anything, but give me a chance to show you what I know I feel. I promise I won't do anything you won't like."
Logan knew Kendall's question was a big one, and he knew that he was suppose to think thoroughly about this, weigh out the pros and cons, the pluses and negatives, if taking that chance was really worth it -but he didn't. He didn't think about it at all, because he trusted Kendall, because Kendall was his best-friend, and he found himself responding in no more than ten seconds, "Okay."
Normally he would've scolded himself, but how could he regret the answer he gave when Kendall's whole face lit up like that, when the blonde gave him a smile that one would see on a child that just got the world's best Christmas gift? It made him feel really good, in turn, to know that he meant that much to someone.
"Can I kiss you?"
The question he was asked surprised him, but again, it was something he didn't quite want to give an absolute no to.
"Yes."
With that, Kendall cupped Logan's chin in his right hand and leaned down to meet those small lips he had so long been restricted from touching. The kiss was soft, light, Kendall relishing in the feeling of Logan's soothing skin pressed against his, and the blonde pulled away within seconds, not wanting to scare the brunet by taking it any further.
He grinned down at the quiet boy before him, "Good night."
"Yeah…"
The hockey jock gave the boy a short wave from turning away and walking back around the corner to the parking garage from which he came. He would've liked to stick around but, after all, he still had an American Government quiz to study for. Not that he particularly minded now of course.
And there Logan stood, dazed, watching the blonde disappear down the walkway, a hand over his lips where he could still feel the tender touch of Kendall before.
'Hmm, maybe if I transfer the x to the other side and somehow got rid of the radical then the problem will actually make sen-'
"Ahh!" Logan was scared out of his thoughts when his vision of his algebra assignment before him was obscured by an unforeseen darkness. He had almost practically jumped out of his seat, whomever it was that stood behind him breaking out into a fit of laughter.
It was then that Logan realized that the darkness over his eyes was caused by the feeling of something particularly warm pressed softly against his eyelids— hands, that most likely belonged to the person whom was laughing at him, and Logan was not stupid in recalling that this had happened before just a couple days ago. He knew who it was.
"Kendall," he practically shouted, turning his head around, the other's hands releasing his hold. Logan was met with the sight of a bubbly and grinning young male who was kneeling behind the backside of the soft lobby chairs he'd been sitting in, his head inches away from his own, eyes alight. "Can you at least give some kind of warning before you do that? I keep getting scared I'm going blind!"
The other giggled as he rose to his feet, coming around the end of the sofa to take a seat next to Logan. "No can do Logie, otherwise it wouldn't be a surprise!"
"Logie…?" The brunet couldn't help reciting. It was his first time hearing it of course, and he hadn't been quite sure if he'd even heard right.
"Yeah," Kendall gave a nod of acknowledgement, "I thought it'd be a nice nickname to give you, y'know since we are going out and all— why, you don't like it?"
"No, no, it's fine." Logan diverted his eyes away from the other. He pretended to be reabsorbed into the text of jumbled numbers in his lap as he admitted, "It's just that it's going to take some getting used to is all."
The taller knew that Logan wasn't really one to blush, something he wasn't accustomed to since all his former dates turned red as beets as a result to his slightest actions, but he found he rather enjoyed Logan's shy quirk. The boy tended to mumble and shift his eyes downwards when he was embarrassed, like right about now, and it was so darn adorable it made him want to scoop the boy into his arms and snuggle him tight.
Not that he could at the moment. He was pretty sure the other college students around them would question.
So he just sat and smiled to himself, pulling his phone out of his pocket and flipping through previously unopened email as Logan went back to completing his previously unresolved problem.
Here they sat, eighteen year olds Kendall Knight and Logan Mitchell, two students who had become friends right about 3 months ago and had just started dating a little over a week ago. It was, technically, one-sided, but that was beside the point. The point was both boys were willing to give a try at a relationship and, though things were proceeding quite slowly, they were genuinely happy. Kendall did not have to worry about girls getting all over the guy he wanted and Logan no longer had to hide his obsessive thoughts about Kendall.
The only other thing that sucked was the fact that they didn't express their relationship openly. They were two guys after all, in a society where the majority claimed that only men and women together was right, and Logan specifically stated that he'd rather not come out for fear of what other's judgment may be. Kendall knew that the truth behind that was just Logan being afraid of getting bullied on his sexual orientation and, though the blonde tried to explain that they were "in college and not most other students would care", the genius kept his firm ground. He thus hoped of the possibility of changing Logan's opinion of this later, despite the fact that he was willing to obey his wishes now.
Thus they sat, in the same way together as they had done in the past, though Kendall had placed himself significantly closer to the brunet to the point that their thighs touched. It was a pleasant change, compared to their old distance, although it doubled as a major distraction for Logan. He wasn't exactly used to being this close to a person, and being close to Kendall was no better. The blonde radiated heat and warmth that caused his heart to race and mind to haze over. Even though it was just the lightest feel of pressure against the side of his left leg Logan couldn't stop thinking about it—his concentration too far gone from the algebraic equations before him.
"Hey, Logan, you wanna take a break from that little study break of yours and join me for a walk outside?" Kendall's voice drew his attention and the brunet looked up at him from his notebooks, noticing that the blonde had put down his cell phone. He was probably looking for another way to be kept busy during his free time and Logan would comply but…
"Sorry, but I don't think I can. Mid-terms are coming up you know, I've got to review this material. You should be studying too you know." Logan reminded him as he twirled the pen in his hand.
"Oh come on, those tests are in one week. I have plenty of time." Kendall rolled his eyes. "And you, you're a top student anyway, I'm sure you'll do fine."
"Being a top student has nothing to do with automatically knowing everything about the curriculum." Logan cut him off, pointing the pen to his nose before turning back to the papers in his lap.
He heard the other sigh, "Logan, come on, you can study later. Please, let me spend some time with you?"
"I promise to make it up to you later, it can wait -" Logan choked on the rest of his words as he felt the sensations of Kendall's light butterfly touches on the back of his neck, his fingertips gracing over sensitive skin and ruffling the tips of his hair. The brunet found his head turning to see the other who was currently giving him a plain innocent look, like he wasn't teasing Logan or anything.
"You are so damn sneaky, aren't you?" Logan tried to offer a glare, but it was really hard to when Kendall was smiling at him like that.
"I don't know what you're talking about." The other practically sung.
'Yeah right, you know I fall prey when you touch me.'
"Okay," Logan gave in, closing his notebook and shoving it in his bag. "Let's go you attention demanding jerk."
"Why thank you, I try." Kendall was probably grinning like a madman as he followed the genius out of the building, certainly drawing other people to look, but he could care less. He liked Logan far too much, and just spending even a little bit of extra time with him sent him into a state of complete bliss, especially since they were in a relationship —which god, he couldn't even believe was happening.
"So, where exactly are we walking to?" Logan asked the teen besides him, the two fitting into a comfortable stroll along with the mass of students commuting along the open corridors.
"Nowhere, we're just walking." He replied honestly, stepping in closer to his boyfriend.
Logan shrugged, "Okay, suits me as long as we —Kendall!"
He had been unable to contain the squeal that escaped his lips at the feeling of the blonde's left hand gripping his right. The other's fingers slipping in between the spaces of his own caused an electric shock to shoot up through his spine, his heart practically jumping right up out of his throat.
"Calm down Logan, geez, you make it sound as if I just molested you." The hockey jock couldn't help but crack up at the other's reaction. Goodness gracious, the bookworm had looked absolutely petrified.
"You might as well have!" Logan accused back at him, his eyes only glancing once at Kendall before he turned his head and pretended to look out at the scenery of the buildings and trees besides them. "It's not fair, you always scaring me."
Oh, there was the tell-tale embarrassment quirk again.
In response, Kendall offered the other a tight squeeze on the hand that he held. He swore he felt Logan squirm, though he wasn't quite sure if it was because he was flustered or he wanted to break free. He quickly shook the second option out of his head. If Logan had wanted to flee he would have done so the moment the blonde had grabbed his hand, but he hadn't. He hadn't, and the best part was that this was the first time Logan had let him hold his hand in public.
The glee it brought him was too much to bear.
Without any further thinking, Kendall sharply turned into a corner that opened up to the back of an academic building behind the library. He pulled Logan with him into the isolated location, pushing him up against the wall where he knew they wouldn't be seen, much thanks to the giant hedges of bushes obscuring them from sight.
Keeping to his promises, Kendall forced himself to ask first, though it sounded more like a desperate beg, "Logan, please, please let me kiss you."
"U-uh," The thought alone was enough to reduce Logan into a nervous wreck of a mess more so than he already was. "I appreciate the inquiry but next time you don't really have to ask, as long as we're not in front of people you can-"
Apparently that was all that the hockey jock needed to hear. The boy lurched forward and seized Logan's lips, simultaneously wrapping his arms around the small boy's waist, pressing him flush up against his body.
Logan could barely comprehend anything that was going on anymore. He'd only been kissed by the other boy maybe four times since the beginning of their relationship, with each one affecting him more than the last. Maybe the overwhelming sensations he was feeling each time was the strength of Kendall's love, or maybe the blonde was just getting better at kissing— whatever the reason, he knew that if it kept getting to him like this, one day, he was just going to lose it.
The brunet whimpered at the feeling of Kendall's tongue swiping against his closed lips. They had yet to share an open-mouthed kiss, mostly because Logan had been trying to stay low on the intimacy until he figured out his feelings, but right now all he really wanted was for Kendall to make-out with him until he was breathless.
So he let him.
The second Kendall's tongue touched his Logan let out a moan. He couldn't help it. The blonde's heat was radiating all over his body, as there was no where he didn't seem to be touching, and his taste bursting across his buds, a combination of something sweet and something so uniquely Kendall. A pleasant shiver spread through him at the notion of Kendall licking the roof of his mouth, causing the brunet to wonder why he'd refused to do this before. He was crazy to resist, this was all around lovely.
Then it was over, the blonde pulling away allowing them both to gasp for fresh air to breathe. The first thing that Logan noticed was the fact that he'd had his arms locked around the other's neck, when he had decided to do so he did not remember, and the second thing was the lingering taste of Kendall on his lips. He must've still been fogged up after the kiss because the brunet felt no embarrassment as he kept his gaze locked with his boyfriend and admitted as he licked his lips, "You taste like strawberries."
Kendall chuckled at this, nuzzling his forehead against his. "Must be the flavor of the gum I had this morning."
"That would explain the slight artificial taste."
"Oh, you notice those things?"
"Mhmm, I'm not majoring in chemistry for nothing."
The blonde cracked a grin, "Always so smart, huh?"
"Always," Logan assured him, finding himself smiling as well, the close distance between their faces and Kendall's arms around his waist not seeming to bother him at all. Sure it kept his adrenaline pumping wildly, but that was nothing he couldn't handle. Then Logan broke into a frown, and he unexpectedly let his sudden thoughts slip from his mouth, "Hey, Kendall, what do I taste like?"
He wanted to bang his head against a wall the second he asked, but it's not like he could do it when he was being held in a tight grasp this way; he half thanked Kendall for keeping himself from giving his mind brain damage.
Meanwhile, the other seemed to be seriously contemplating the question, his lips twisting in thought as he scrunched his nose and looked up at nothing in particular. He stayed in this position for quite a while, before gracing a smile and turning his face back downwards at Logan, green eyes bright and earnest as he announced, "You taste like sunlight."
The genius' mind was completely boggled with his statement, unable to possibly comprehend how it was possibly to taste an intangible substance that consisted of nothing more than gamma ray radiation produced by a chemical reaction that fused hydrogen to helium. Or maybe it was just him. He did tend to look at things from a scientific matter nowadays.
Lost, he admitted, "Kendall I don't think sunlight has a, uh, taste."
"Well of course not," Kendall rolled his eyes. Sometimes Logan was just too logical, though it certainly was amusing. "I just figured that if sunlight were to acquire a taste it'd be something like you."
"Uhm… thanks I guess?" He knew it was a really nice comment but he couldn't shake the thought of the chemical makeup, his thoughts reeling in possibilities.
Kendall chuckled at this, automatically knowing Logan was having trouble ditching the literal description. "Logan, it's a special compliment okay? Not everyone gets told they taste as amazingly heavenly as sunlight."
It was then that Logan understood what the other was saying, and the brunet snuggled right into the comforting crook of Kendall's neck. He felt the other's rumbling low laugh, the jock's thick warm fingers stroking the top of his head, and Logan thought to himself that he was really glad he'd decided to give this sappy romantic a chance.