Harry Potter and the School for Pureblood Wizards

Summary: Before Harry Potter ever had a chance to go to school, Voldemort had taken over. Tauntingly, a cruel joke had been played as Harry received his first letter from Hogwarts. To make things worse, he catches the eye of the 'Prince' amongst pureblood wizards.

Chapter rating: T; I think there's a tiny bit of malexmale attraction if you squint, and there is reference to a malexmale couple, so rated for slightly controversial themes. Also, there is erotic dancing implied.

Pairing: DMxHP with minor SBxRL

Warning: slash, fluff, lemon, power differentials (this story will contain gay relationships, so if you don't understand the implications, please refrain from reading). Slightly happier, OOC Lupin. Black might seem OOC at first, but that will be explained.

Type: AU, romance, drama

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is property of J.K. Rowling, Bloomsbury Publishing Plc, Raincoast Books and others.

Chapter 4, Part A: The Potions Master

"I am not," Professor Lupin told them the first day of class, "a Potions Master. Your former professor is one of the leading experts in the field, but Potions is not my specialty."

The class tittered at this outright proclamation. Hermione looked as if she had swallowed a rock. Harry, to her right, nudged her in concern. "He can't be that bad, Hermione."

"Actually," Ron whispered. "If Fred and George love him so much, there must be something really wrong with him. He'll be fun though."

Harry had been looking forward to classes, Potions especially. Except, by some cruel twist of fate, they shared the class with the Upper Slytherins. Now, he was uncomfortably aware of Draco Malfoy's gaze tingling around his neck. He had cringed when Malfoy and his lackeys first sank into the seats behind them, shooing aside two blushing Gryffindor girls.

"Lupin's a pushover," Malfoy whispered loudly. "He's hardly bigger than a fourth year. How much do you bet I can make him squirm and go crying to Black afterwards?"

Harry clenched his hands at the spiteful snickers that followed. Hermione forgot her displeasure, swallowing as she glanced from Malfoy's sneer to their professor. Ron scratched his neck. "They better not start anything," he leaned towards Harry. "The stupid buggers."

Lupin waited, smiling, until the chatter died down and began. "It is my long standing belief that there is one single universal skill one must learn from Potions; how to safely run away from explosions. Therefore, today, I want you all to blow up your cauldrons."

For a moment the students simply stared, unable to comprehend Lupin's words. It wasn't until the professor wrote in large neat print on the board,

Exploding Cauldrons - How to cause and how to prevent

that they came to their senses.

"Is he serious?" Hermione breathed. She tried to steel her expression, but Harry could see the tiny tug at the corner of her mouth.

"Blowing up cauldrons?" Malfoy echoed. "He wants us to blow up our cauldrons?"

"Not only that, Mr. Malfoy," Lupin continued, ignoring the tightening of Malfoy's brows. "Your goal is to create your explosion and walk out of this room without a trace of stains on your robe. I'll be showing you how to safely handle potion mishaps."

"On the side board are the basic ingredients," he gestured. "These will be found in most of the potions we work with this year. You may ask for other materials, but clear it up with me first. Remember, the messier, louder, and more odorous your explosion is, the better.

"Who here knows why explosions occur?" Lupin asked. Hermione's hand shot up into the air, her eyes gleaming. Apparently, it wasn't a very hard question, because half a dozen other students also had their hands raised.

Lupin picked Hermione. "When two ingredients are incompatible, they will react negatively and cause an explosion," she said confidently.

"Good," Lupin smiled at her. "Let's talk about which of the ingredients I have on the board will cause an explosion. Hopefully you'll learn to avoid them in the future."

They spent the next ten minutes quickly introducing the ingredients, with students madly scribbling down reactions that seemed likely. Harry was pretty sure Hermione copied down everything, judging by the speed her quill sped across her parchment. Malfoy, on the other hand, made no move to write, and Harry glanced back at him once or twice in annoyance.

All too soon, Professor Lupin's bright eyes passed over his students, and he flashed a peaceful smile they were quickly becoming familiar with. "I'll be looking forward to them. Please do your planning first."

With that, he released the students from their stunned silence with a wave, and Harry felt the room explode with sound.

"This is going to be great!" Ron said excitedly. "I can't believe a professor's letting us do this! Harry, Harry what are you going to make?"

"I'm not sure," Harry heaved a deep breath, eyes scanning his chicken scratched notes. "I wasn't expecting something like this."

"The section you want is on page six hundred and two of your text, Harry," Lupin's voice startled them. He had passed by their table, leaned over their shoulder and began leafing through their textbook. The chapter he turned to was titled; Accidents and Mishaps in Potions. Harry turned to thank the man, but Lupin held a finger to his lips. Discreetly, the professor set something on the table beside the book and said, "the Giant Squid was feeling generous."

Harry stared; they were his glasses. The thick frames were mended, and the smudge on the left lens Harry had never been able to clean was gone. When he looked up to thank the man, Lupin had left.

"Harry, your glasses!" Hermione said as Harry put them on, grinning. "I can't believe he got it back for you! I know what explosion I'm going to do. Just wait for it!"

Splash! Harry's breath caught in his throat as something cool and slimy seeped through his robes and down his neck collar. Slowly, he breathed out as the skin where the liquid touched began to itch. It slipped down his arm and Harry could see through the corners of his eyes that some were caught in his hair.

"Malfoy," he gritted his teeth. The other boy was laughing, legs swung on top of the table and his ladle dangling from one hand.

"See? Perfect aim," Malfoy bragged. He dipped his ladle into his cauldron, where a moldy yellow broth was churning. How it seemed to bubble and sizzle with heat, yet feel so cold against Harry's face, he didn't know. All he knew was that for a moment, all he could see was Malfoy's cruel smirk and the sickly yellow liquid.

"Draco," Zabini piped up. "Let me have a try."

"Sure," Malfoy pointed to a shy, clumsy looking Gryffindor boy (Neville, if Harry remember correctly) in the corner. "Try getting him. His face gets on my nerves." Zabini seemed disappointed for a moment, but obediently picked up his ladle to throw potion at his designated target.

"Do you know what this is, Potter?" Malfoy drawled, leaving his seat and making his way around the tables towards them. "This yellow concoction? Do you know what it does?"

Harry frowned. Ron and Hermione shifted uncomfortably beside him, but didn't back down.

"I can't believe you're doing this in class, Malfoy," Hermione hissed. "That is low!"

Ron nodded furiously, hands balled into fists around his robes. Unlike Harry and Hermione, Ron knew what Malfoy was capable of. The pale boy could destroy them with a single command. But if he didn't stand with Harry, Ron would never be able to forgive himself for cowering before a sniveling little git.

"Shut up, mudblood!" Malfoy snarled. "You have no idea what you're talking about!"

The itch had gotten unbearable. Harry was grounding his teeth together and bunching his shoulders tightly against his neck, but the itch was penetrating his skin, and it seemed as if every nerve in his body was tingling.

"Fernicules' Frenzied Itches," Hermione growled. For a moment, Malfoy looked taken aback, but quickly schooled his features. "That's what you made. Don't think I can't see that."

In the far corner, Neville burst into tears and began scratching himself hysterically. The boys sitting beside him attempted to help, but Neville would not be consoled.

"Malfoy," Harry said harshly, forcibly holding back the urge to scratch. His head was swimming from dizziness. "If that was your explosion, it was pretty pathetic."

A nerve in Malfoy's jaw twitched. "I don't care about Lupin and his stupid assignments," he said tightly. He raised his ladle, with a quivering mass of Fernicles' Frenzied Itches loaded on it. "Look! That's what I think of him!"

The yellow potion sailed through the air, as if in slow motion. Harry watched as Professor Lupin turned around with a raised eyebrow, hand reaching into his sleeves. Their fight had caught the attention of the entire class, and several dozen eyes stared unblinkingly at the Potions Professor.

"Wadiwasi!" Lupin said calmly, drawing our his wand. His smile was no longer as laid back as before.

The flying menace stopped inches from him and hurdled back towards Malfoy, twice as fast as it was before. Malfoy's eyes widened, but he couldn't move as his own potion charged at his face. He opened his mouth to cry out, but already, he could smell the stench the liquid gave off as it flew.

"Draco watch out!" Crabbe's huge form bowled into him from behind. Malfoy sprawled forward against Harry, knocking him back into Ron and Hermione.

"Ow," Harry groaned. He blinked and was uncomfortably aware that Malfoy's face was less than an inch from his own. For a moment, they stared at each other, Harry's breath coming in short, hard gasps. Then he came to his senses. "Get off, Malfoy!"

Immediately, Malfoy scrabbled to his feet, dusting his robes and looking away. Only then did Harry notice the rest of his surroundings. Ron's knee was digging painfully into his back, Hermione was flushed and squashed with the red haired boy's elbow across her stomach. "You too Ron, get off," she mumbled.

And Crabbe's face was covered with the sticky yellow potion.

"By Merlin," Lupin walked up to them, for once seeming genuinely surprised. "Wonderful reflexes, Mr. Crabbe. Five points to Slytherin for that wonderfully self-sacrificing act of heroism. I am pleasantly surprised. Take yourself to the Infirmary, some of it might've gotten to your eyes."

"And you, Mr. Malfoy," Lupin turned as Crabbe ambled towards the door. "Will be joining me for detention tonight. I see I'll have to teach you how to dodge flying potions without your friends."

For a moment, Malfoy seemed still dazed by the incident. Briefly, he shook his head and glared at Lupin. "Detention?" He growled. "You've got to be kidding me! You're giving me detention? Who do you think you are?!"

There were stifled screams from the doorway. Harry turned to see that a new creature had entered the classroom. It was a huge black dog, easily coming up to Harry's chest. Bushy, thick fur whispered as it stepped up behind Lupin and glared at Malfoy through fierce, cold eyes.

Harry heard Malfoy gulp.

"Would you prefer your detention next week when you've got homework in all your classes and Quidditch sign-ups?" Lupin asked mildly. "I think I'm being pretty reasonable about time." His expression softened. "And I swear by Merlin's beard that your father and Lord Voldemort won't hear of this."

Malfoy's expression grew blank, and it was a moment before he could respond. "This is stupid," he said, and leaped over the table towards his own seat.

Lupin shrugged and glanced at the rest of the class. All gazes had turned on the dog, now sitting and scratching itself lazily in the middle aisle. As if noticing the attention, it stood and stretched, showing off it's frightening size.

"Class, I'd like to introduce someone," Lupin sighed. "This is Snuffles. I wouldn't call him my dog, exactly, as he usually does whatever he pleases. I'm not quite sure why he's here right now," he glared at the dog, who only let his tongue roll out of his mouth and panted. "But now that he's here. Let's have him demonstrate how to dodge exploding cauldrons, shall we?"

The dog looked up in alarm, then relaxed. He barked and waved his tail wildly.

"Well class, I'll give you another half hour to make your potions," Lupin announced. "For those of you who are done, you might want to practice the spell I used before to deflect flying debris. Flick your wrists and say clearly, 'Wadiwasi.'"

Of course, Seamus and Dean in the corner immediately began flinging potions at each other.

Resigned and still itching, Harry was about to sit back in his chair when Professor Lupin beckoned him to the front. "Harry and Neville, come with me and lets see if we can get rid of that itch, shall we?"

Harry stood again, breathing a sigh of relief. He felt the dog, Snuffles, brush past him on his way to the front of the room. Lupin waited for them at the board, a small vial of clear purple liquid in his hand. He gave both boys a drop and told them to press it against the abused skin.

Gingerly, Harry pressed his palm into his neck and was rewarded with a soothing sensation sliding down his spine, promptly extinguishing the itch. Neville slowly stopped sniffling and thanked Lupin before running back to his seat.

"Thank you," Harry whispered. "For the glasses too. I mean, you fixed them and everything."

"I am sorry about Mr. Malfoy, Harry," Lupin commented idly. "The Wizarding World is not in a good state right now. I'm sorry if you were mistreated on the train. I usually take the Hogwarts Express to prevent these things, but they started school late this year and I had been… ill."

"That's alright," Harry said uncomfortably. "It doesn't just happen to me, and plus, I'm used to it."

"But it will be harder on you than most other muggleborn students," Lupin said. He stared intensely at Harry's face for a moment. "But I believe in you. You'll be able to endure whatever they throw at you, and leave Hogwarts a great wizard, just like your father."

"You knew my father, sir?" Harry asked.

"Yes," Lupin's eyes grew distant. "In fact, you may even say that Professor Black and I were…"

"Were what?" Harry asked eagerly, but Lupin shook his head.

"I think I've said too much already, Harry. You won't have enough time to complete your explosion."

Reluctantly, Harry returned to his seat, mind churning over what Professor Lupin was about to say. What was the connection between his father and the two professors?

"What was that about, Harry?" Ron asked when he sat down. "What were you and Lupin talking about? Is he going to punish Malfoy?" Harry shrugged and slowly began stirring his cauldron.

"I think Professor Lupin knew my father," Harry said. "He was going to say something about it but he stopped."

"Maybe he's not allowed to talk," Hermione gave her cauldron one last stir and set her ladle aside. "The Dark Lord being in charge and all. There're probably spies among the students too."

"I'll bet Malfoy's one," Ron said darkly. "Why else would he come to Hogwarts? You'd think he would go to a school completely under his control."

"Shh!" Hermione hissed, glaring at the group behind them. "If they hear you, it's Harry they're going to pick on." Harry heard Malfoy laugh behind them and sighed. Carefully, he sliced his clover bulbs as small as he could, squinting behind his glasses.

He was finished seconds before Lupin called the class to a halt.

"I hope that was sufficient time for all of you," Lupin said. "Now, I want you all to bring your cauldrons to the front. When I say go, you will add in your final ingredient and dodge aside. Points will be awarded for your explosion and how well you can keep yourself safe. Lets see… do we have volunteers?"

Nearly the whole class raised their hands. Harry glanced behind him, saw that Malfoy was still wearing a sour expression, and raised his hand just to spite the other boy. Lupin glanced around the room before his eyes landed on Neville's half raised hand.

"How about you, Mr. Longbottom?" Lupin beckoned. Trembling, Neville made his way to the front of the class, a sickly blue cauldron bubbling in his hands. At Lupin's nod, Neville dropped in a piece of what looked to Harry like a black slug.

For a moment nothing happened. Neville sighed in relief before Snuffles abruptly knocked him out of the way and his cauldron exploded.

Grey smoke coughed up and hints of the blue paste spewed in all directions. The dog executed an impossible flip midair and landed smoothly beside Professor Lupin, shaggy coat spotless and wavering.

"Excellent," Lupin clapped. "Next."

Ron's let out a funny popping sound that made Lupin laugh, but otherwise did nothing. Seamus and Dean had combined their cauldron, which overflowed in a disgusting green slime, sending the first row students scooting back.

After Hermione's explosion, the volunteers died down. She had swaggered to the front added her last ingredient, and stood to one side as her cauldron began ringing loudly. A total of seventeen explosions shot off like an assortment of fireworks. Even Lupin's eyebrows raised and he gave her a look of contemplation before he congratulated her.

For a moment, no one raised their hands. Finally, Malfoy stood, pale eyes angry, and brought his own cauldron to the front.

"Mr. Malfoy," Lupin took one look at the black substance in Malfoy's cauldron and his eyes grew serious. "You know what you made?"

"Of course," Malfoy said arrogantly. "I've made it before."

Lupin blinked. "Very well then, proceed."

A ghastly cold filled the room. Many students screamed as a black robed figure rose from Malfoy's cauldron, yellow eyes gleaming. It became hard to breath, and Harry held a hand to his throat in discomfort. Somewhere in the distance, Harry heard screaming. A moment later, Lupin reached into the explosion and plucked the black rock formed. Smoke licked down his arm and Lupin winced. The dog growled loudly.

"Mr. Malfoy's explosion is not usually classified as a mishap," Lupin said wryly. He deposited the rock on his table and covered his hand with his robe sleeve before continuing. "It is an old method used to create ire stones. Does anyone know what I'm referring to?"

A couple Slytherins raised their hands but Lupin shook his head. "I doubt any of you know the whole story. It's functions are similar to those of a dark creature called a dementor, who drains an individual of all happy thoughts. When kept with a witch or wizard, it makes them lose all sense of self, and they become filled with rage."

"In short," Lupin sighed, "they become psychotic murderers. Mr. Malfoy, while that was not what the assignment asked for, it is nonetheless an impressive potion. Well done."

The class seemed to have lost all will to continue, and Lupin understood.

"I think that's all the time we have for today," he said. "Ten points to everyone who exploded their cauldrons today and… let's see… five points to Miss Granger for answering my question earlier." Lupin smiled mysteriously. "And I have one last thing to show you."

The professor brought out his own cauldron. The liquid inside a pale lavender. "I created this during my first year. It was one of the few potions I was proud of. Please stand back, everyone."

Lupin added a drop of clear liquid from a vial before stepping back. The class held their breaths. Harry clutched his seat hard and fixed his eyes on the cauldron in the front.

The cauldron began singing. It was a song so beautiful, so haunting that the students in the back left their seats to listen more closely.

Harry thought he imagined it at first, but the slender body of a miniature woman scantily dressed rose from the cauldron, beckoning to them. He held his breath as the woman began dancing.

"She's beautiful…" Ron said in awe, climbing over the table towards the front. Hermione scoffed before a matching man rose beside the dancing woman. The man gave them a look that sent tingles down Harry's spine.

Hermione joined Ron and the other students in the front row. Harry rose from his seat to watch the tiny figure of man and woman writhe and curve around each other. Before he took a step forward however, he caught the mischievous gleam in Lupin's eyes. Straining his arms, Harry pulled himself back into the chair and looked away. The singing grew louder.

Abruptly, the song ended and a putrid stench filled the room with the distinctive sound of someone letting gas. The silence was followed by screeches from the girls. Harry looked forward to see that the erotic figures had vanished, and all the students clustered in the front were covered in a thick layer of dung colored slime. Cries of dismay echoed upwards and several students dashed for the exit.

Lupin was having a difficult time containing his laughter. "And that, I called the Siren Dungbomb. I did warn you all to stay back. Class dismissed. Take some time to clean yourselves off."

He caught sight of Harry and added. "Ten points to both Mr. Malfoy and Mr. Potter for not falling for the sirens."

Harry turned and saw that Malfoy was still sitting in his seat, sulking. When he saw Harry staring, he stood with a huff and stormed from the room.

The first class of Defense Against the Dark Arts, already a Gryffindor favorite, was nothing short of fantastical. Harry shared it with both Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws, as student numbers were far too low in the three houses. Professor Black was five minutes late, plain dark robes billowing behind him imposingly as he took his place before the class.

"Why do you have your books out?" he asked. "We'll be having a practical lesson today, so put everything away except your wand."

With a general confused murmur, the class slipped books away into relative backpacks.

"Knowing Black," Ron whispered excitedly. "He'll make us fight some big dark creature he tamed."

Black led them briskly through the corridors until they reached a large room on the third floor. He held the door like a gentlemen until all the students filed inside.

Peeves, "the poltergeist," Ron whispered, had placed giant water pots over the doors, which tipped with a magnificent splash over the students first in line. Unfortunately, Hermione was one of them.

"This in unthinkable!" She raged, wringing her dripping sleeves. The ghost cackled in the background until Black stepped into the room and gave him a pointed look. Suddenly silent, Peeves vanished through the walls. Harry heard him cursing in the next room before vanishing.

"Now then," Black said mildly. "Let's get started. Look over in that corner of the room." The students turned their heads in unison and stared at the giant closet standing against one wall. As if sensing eyes on it, the closet rocked, clattering loudly against the wall.

Beside Harry, Neville shuddered.

"Can anyone tell me what hideous being lives in that closet?" Black asked. For a moment, the room was silent. Hermione raised her hand hesitantly.

"A boggart," she said. "They like small spaces."

Black raised an elegant eyebrow and nodded. "Excellent. There is indeed a boggart in that closet. I had several residing in my mansion. Merlin knows nobody cleans the place. Can anyone tell me why they may be dangerous?"

Once again Hermione's hand shot up. Black seemed amused. "Anyone else?"

A Ravenclaw boy ended up answering the question. "They are shape shifters and they change into what you are most afraid of."

"Which would," Black nodded. "Also make them mind readers in a sense. Why would we have an advantage over this dark creature today, Harry?"

Surprised at being addressed, Harry swallowed. Black was somehow quieter, less animated than Harry remembered. "Because, er…" he paused. "There's so many of us that it wouldn't know what to turn into?"

"Precisely," Black stepped in front of the closet. "There is a relatively simple charm to expel these creatures. Everyone repeat after me. Ridikkulus!"

The students dutifully echoed the word.

At that moment, for the second time that day, the door opened to admit a giant, shaggy black dog. Black caught sight of the creature and his eyes narrowed.

"Class, excuse me for a moment," he said briskly. Black robes billowing, he stalked up to the dog and grabbed it by the tail.

"This is Snuffles," Black said as the dog yelped. "Who I am very disappointed with for various reasons. Practice the spell and I shall be right back." That said, he dragged the large hound backwards out the door, and slammed it loudly.

"What happened there?" Ron wondered.

"No idea," Harry replied. "But why does Black know Lupin's dog? And he was acting a bit strange too."

"You noticed it too?" Hermione said thoughtfully. "He seems a bit too… teacher-like. He's doing better than I thought he would. It's almost like he's… Professor Lupin."

"As expected from a couple," Ron said loudly. "They even teach the same way."

"Ron that's just stupid," Hermione said. "We don't know if they're together, and what just happened is fishy. I'll need to look into it."

A scream erupted from the corner and the trio whipped around to see the closet door standing wide open. A pretty Gryffindor girl screamed. A severed hand leaped through the archway and scampered along the floor. The students scooted back, yelping. Someone in the crowd shouted Ridikkulus but nothing happened.

The boggart, encouraged by the screams, transformed into a looming skeleton dragon, black smoke hissing through its nostrils. One huge claw smashed into the floor, sending up dust clouds.

"It's a…" Hermione stammered, eyes wide with fright. "It's just a boggart. Just a boggart, we- we-"

The boggart-dragon let out a screeching, high pitched sound. The ceiling shook and the dragon swiped one long skeleton claw against the walls. Aged, empty portraits clattered down. Students screamed as they were buried.

"Ridikkulus!" A deep, vibrant voice cut through the screams. The boggart-dragon hesitated, bright pink glazing over rotten skeletal claws. A blinding red spread over the dragon's mouth and a ridiculously florescent ribbon wound around its neck. It shook its huge head in confusion, puckered its red lips and tried to roar, but the sound the emerged was a high pitched, girly giggle.

Despite their recent fright, laughter erupted at the sight of the dragon with painted nails and lips and ribbon. Harry lifted his face to see Professor Black with black cloak swung around him, stance confident and wand drawn. Blue-silver lines ran down the edges of his cloak. His black hair was drawn into a low tail and the wide smirk Harry remembered was black on his face.

With a shriek, the boggart transformed into a small snake and crept back into the wardrobe. Swiftly, Black crossed the room and latched the door shut. "And that," he said evenly. "Is how we handle a boggart. What have we learned, class? You will never, never touch a teacher's tools without permission. Throughout the year, I'll be bringing creatures that can and will kill you on sight."

His piercing gray eyes swept across the room. His voice was low. "Who opened it?"

A Ravenclaw boy raised his hand tentatively, squirming in fear as Black's gaze found him.

"Leave the room," Black said calmly. "I will not give detention, but you will make up for this class by joining the Upper Slytherins tomorrow. Understood? Go." The boy fled, eyes reddening.

"Harry, Ron!" Hermione hissed. She pointed to the door, where Professor Lupin, light hair messy and slightly flushed, stood at the door, gaze fixed on Black. Lupin saw some of the students glance back at him and swiftly vanished behind the door. "And look at Professor Black's robes! The silver lines weren't there before!"

"So?" Ron cocked his head, freckles flashing in the light. "What about them?"

"Professor Black changed clothes while he was gone," Harry said. "And Snuffles is gone."

"Harry, when we get back, I'm taking a look at our Potions textbook again," Hermione's eyes gleamed. "See if there are any potions that can make you… transform."

"Granger! Is there something you want to say?" Black asked, eyes warm again.

"No, sir," Hermione said, for once not looking sorry at all. "I'm sorry, I won't talk again."

"Good," Black reached behind him for the latch. "Now remember what I just said. Raise your wands and let's give this big boy an exercise he won't forget."

Much to Harry's dismay, Malfoy's company caught up to the Gryffindors just after their last class. Professor McGonagall, the transfiguration co-teacher, had given them three feet of questions to answer on the ethics, pros and cons of transforming people. Hermione was nearly skipping with glee, while the rest of them sagged with resignation.

"So if it isn't Potter and his little friends," Malfoy drawled. "Want to leave this sorry bunch for a bit of fun with us, Potter?" Beside him, Zabini's smile was creepily bright.

Harry glared at Malfoy. "No. We have erm… homework. So you can just go and bother someone else, thank you."

"And besides, Malfoy," Hermione said. "Don't you have detention with Professor Lupin? You don't want his monstrously big dog to bite off your head next class, do you? I'll bet that dog hates you and is just dying to bite you."

"One more word out of you, mudblood," Malfoy gritted his teeth, them stopped. "But you all should be a little bit nicer, Gryffindors. We've found something down in Potions… shall we say…" With an elegant smirk, he gestured to one of his body guards. Goyle, the one without bandages over his eyes from the Potions accident earlier, stepped forward and reached into one loose pocket. A loud croak rang in the room.

Goyle drew out a plain, spotted toad and one of the Gryffindor boys let out a loud cry. He pushed his way towards the front, pale eyes frantic. "Trevor!"

"Neville's toad," Ron said unnecessarily, face beginning to redden from anger. "Give that back, Malfoy."

"I will," Malfoy said unexpectedly, gaze fixed on Harry. "If Neville here will convince Potter to do something for me, I'll give the toad back right away. What do you say, Neville?"

The skittish boy looked from the toad to Harry, mouth dropping open several times, but didn't speak. His eyes, however, were pleading. Harry felt his heart pound fast as he looked back at Draco, smirk still in place.

Sniffing loudly, Neville turned away from Harry and advanced upon the Upper Slytherins, trembling like a leaf. "I'm…" he stammered. "I'm not going to le… let you pick on Harry. You… you give Trevor back."

Zabini laughed out loud, the sound echoed gruffly in the hallway. The other Slytherins followed with broken chuckles of their own.

"Some loyal friends you have here, Harry," Malfoy grinned. "What, aren't you going to help him?"

"Yes," Harry said, voice cracking. He cleared his throat. "Yes! Now give him back the toad, Malfoy!"

One of Malfoy's blond eyebrows raised. "Really, Harry? Come here then."

Fists clenched, Harry shook off Ron's hand and stomped forward. Malfoy didn't move until Harry was a foot away, then he reached out and grabbed Harry's collar. Harry heard his friends protest behind him, but was distracted when Malfoy leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"You landed me in detention, Harry. How are you going to pay for that?" Malfoy asked. Harry's spine stiffened.

"You got detention on your own, Malfoy," he hissed, trying to pull away. However, Malfoy's other hand came up to grab his arm. Harry felt himself panic. "What do you want, Malfoy! Just say it!"

Malfoy's lips brushed against Harry's ear as he smirked. "I want you to kneel down, kiss my hand and say, 'it's a pleasure to meet you, Sir Draco.'"

Harry pushed hard on Malfoy's shoulders, dislodging him. His face was flushed red. "That's disgusting!"

Malfoy stepped back easily, grinning in satisfaction. "You promised, Harry. Are you backing out?"

"Harry, you don't have to-" Neville began.

"Shut up, Malfoy!" Harry snapped. He straightened and stared the taller boy in the eye. "I'll do it, so just give him the toad."

Malfoy gestured. Quickly, Zabini snatched the toad from Goyle and stepped up to Neville, who cowered and closed his eyes. Hands deliberately slow, Zabini pulled Neville's collar loose and dropped the toad down his robe.

The Slytherins resumed laughing as Neville squeaked and fled back towards his housemates, face red and humiliated.

"Now your end of the bargain, Harry?" Malfoy asked, holding out his hand.

Pushing messy black hair from his eyes, Harry slowly swept the most elaborate bow he could, falling dramatically onto one knee and took Malfoy's hand. Ignoring the gags threatening to overflow him, he pressed his lips to the pale hand.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Harry said. He tensed his legs and paused. "Lady Draco, you're beautiful." He leaped to his feet and backed away.

A second later, all the Gryffindor first year were laughing and sprinting towards their dorms, while Malfoy sputtered and his companions tried to hold back snorts, some failing.

"You didn't have to, Moony…"

"Didn't have to what?"

"Take over my class. I wasn't that late."

"Professor Padfoot, you were almost thirty minutes late for your first class this year. There would've no students left for you to teach if I hadn't taken over."

"Good riddance I say. Thank Merlin you didn't ruin my reputation."

"Reputation, Black? What reputation? And besides, you didn't have to, either."

"Didn't have to what?"

"Show up in the middle of my class to protect me from the oh-so-frightening Malfoy junior. I say the class went far better than I thought."

"Whoever said I came to protect you? You flatter yourself, Moony."

"…"

"Alright, alright, I admit it. So I was worried. After all, if I wasn't there, you might've destroyed Malfoy on the spot. And no matter that he's a brat, I still need to protect family, don't I?"

"Ah, so glad you could make it Mr. Malfoy, have a seat."

"…"

"For detention today… I think I'll teach you how to brew the Siren Dungbomb I showed the class earlier."

"What?"

"Don't look so astonished, Mr. Malfoy, it is absolutely a punishment. You will brew it in a small room, and you make it again and again until you can show me how to dodge it completely."

"But that's impossible! My father will hear of this!"

"Yes, yes. In any case, Mr. Malfoy, I hope you're not terribly fond of those robes you're wearing."

Author's Note:

Well… I'm back. I wasn't dead, or sick, or even that busy… just… away. I'm so sorry about that, everyone. Hopefully, this chapter did not disappoint. The ending was a little bit rushed, I know. And now, I really can't promise when updates are going to be. But I will not abandon any of my stories, if it takes me decades to finish them…

Hope that was understandable for everyone… Sirius came to Remus' class as Snuffles, and then was late for his own class. Remus Polyjuiced himself and started teaching for him. When Sirius showed up, as Snuffles again, Remus was obviously angry and dragged the dog away.

In this chapter, if you squint, I think you can see a little bit of BlaisexNeville. That's a sort of… guilty pleasure of mine, but it shouldn't come up much at all.

Sorry there isn't as much DracoxHarry action this rather short chapter. I don't have the next chapter planned out exactly, but there should be more. Let's hope Draco's nicer after his detention. And flying/brooms should be coming up soon.

obsidian-ran: Thank you! Draco will hopefully be cooler after he gets a spanking and becomes just a tiny, tiny, tiny bit nicer.

aDeLia AdRieLLe: Heheh… it's a bit too late for pre-hogwarts, but I'll definitely have a pov from Draco soon. So far, I think Draco's only interested right now, not in love yet. Thanks for reviewing.

O r i g i n a l: Here I am! Almost a year later! Hope you aren't too disappointed.

strawberry buttercup: After this chapter, Draco will be rethinking his ways. Muahahaha, he'll pick on Harry in more discreet ways. He won't be quite so mean either, though.

Raincurtain: Fun pen-name, I like! When you get the backstory a bit more, this fic may become more serious. Hope Malfoy wasn't TOO annoying this chapter.

OucdaTiresum: There! Draco got picked on by Remus. Remus can be a bad guy and we'll still love him, right? Besides, I think Harry's closeness to Ron and Hermione is bugging Draco already.

I-see-thestrals: No no, I won't abandon this. I always come back to my stories eventually. Thanks so much for reviewing.

Harpy Wings: I'm glad you think it's original. I hope I can keep it up…

Jjinks: HERE's more. I'm glad you like. Please don't abandon this fic, even though it updates so slowly.

fudgebaby: Don't feel bad for Harry, he can stand up for himself, right? He's a tough boy.

hazel-3017: Thank you!

lysryu: Hm? Harry could understand the runespoor. He heard the 3 heads arguing… Maybe I didn't state it clearly enough, and I'll clear that up in future chapters. But yes, in this AU, Harry does understand Parseltongue. Heh… bated breath… that's good, should find somewhere to plunk it into the story… :P, just kidding.

Happy Emily: What happens next? Well, Harry becomes a big apple, Draco becomes a pear, and together, they make an apt-pair. Nvm, that's a very bad pun. Truthfully, I don't even know what comes next.

Lady Gaidin: Forced kissing? Eleven year olds? Gosh, that's early, but it's good. There's some forced kissing in this chatper. We'll say Draco matures early, ne? But then… (shakes head) kids these days do that anyway. Thanks!

EveBB: Nope, haven't abandoned it. And there isn't really going to be 'fighting' in this fic. Voldemort will just like… die of old age or something. Maybe he still wants the philosopher's stone? I'm not sure yet.

emeraud.silver: An update! Not too long a wait, I hope.

KillerDustBunny: Thank you for giving this fic a second chance after the summary! I know the summary sucks and I know it's been a million bizillion years since my update, I'm so sorry! But I won't abandon this, so please keep reading!

Sora Jr: Thank you, I'm definitely continuing this story.

thrnbrooke: I'm sorry it took so long, and I have no excuse. Hopefully, everyone'll forgive me.

Dream-rise: I think Harry's gift with snakes will come up again in one of Sirius' DADA classes. I haven't really decided that yet, so if you have any ideas, it'll be wonderful.

writerlover101: I'm so happy you find it different and unique. Sorry I didn't update sooner. O.o

FlamencoPenguin: Don't be sorry, I should be sorry for not updating and stuff. You've given such a good review that I was giddy for days after reading it! Thank you so much! Draco's definitely not nice, and there's a bit more Sirius Remus stuff in this one. They're definitely comfortable together. As for Harry and Dumbledore, that'll hopefully be cleared up later.

Cracked Moon: smack! What are you thinking? They're only eleven! Of course they won't be… doing stuff… yet… thanks for reviewing!

hurtinphoenix: Aw.. Why is the phoenix hurting? Of course this'll be a DracoxHarry! Evil dictator Malfoy is interested and we can't let poor little Harry run away, can we? (insert evil laughter)

Illusionwolf: Eight months isn't exactly soon, but I hope you give it another chance and are still reading this. Thank you so much!

PHI-1.618: What an interesting name! What does it mean? Well, now you know. Hopefully, it's still interesting.

Lady Silverhawk: Odd is good. I like odd. Thank you for reviewing!

CAP.L: O.O… Pedo Voldy. No, no, no! Draco, what are you going to do? He's old enough to be your great grandfather! Nah… I think… if Voldy was interested in anyone (cough, cough, bad image go away), he would've passed the law himself.

animegurl088: Thank you!

Duchessa: Yeah, blubber-weepy Harry needs to be reasonable. And no, Draco didn't even consider that Harry might be a parselmouth. Erm… did I promise to explain Siri/Rem in this chapter? Well… I gave a little bit more on them, if that counts. Thanks so much for the wonderful review!

Whew… no pressure… no pressure at all…

BabyDragon848: I love you reviewers too! Thank you!

DrOwNiNg In EbOnY: You're filming D/H? Send me a copy! Whee! But yeah, no slash… exactly… for a bit. Hopefully you'll still have patience and read more. We'll get there eventually.

storywriter10791: Oh my, capitals! Sorry that I took such a long time! Thanks for the review.

EsScaper: Really? I'm glad you think this fic is unique. Thanks so much! And Harry got his glasses back, let's cheer!

Imperfection Is A Bliss: More capitals! Harry? Steal Draco's title? Not likely. And the love will come… slowly. Just like the updates. No, just kidding. I'll try my very best to get more updates. Thank you for reviewing!

OrionLuckyStar: Marauders, Generation 2! That'll be a cool idea, but I'm not sure about it in this story. Draco will feel too left out, wouldn't he? The updates will come… sooner or later, thanks for waiting!

Zoomi: Oh, Draco wants a lot more from Harry than respect and fear… muahaha. He'll go back to his (slightly) cooler self after this chapter. Thanks for reviewing! HD FTW!

mechan: Here's an update, but it's been a long time, and I hope you weren't too disappointed.

Nicki L.: Thank you so much! Glad you're still reading.

rei0kitsune: (hugs Harry) Yeah, Harry's really cute. That's why Draco's interested, ne? Thanks for reviewing!

rayama: Sirius/Remus sides of the story will be explained soon, I hope. But they do have a valid reason for everything, you'll see.

dairygirl: Yeah… Draco will be hard to write, but I'll try my very best! He'll be kept as an interesting bully who isn't too bad on the inside. After this chapter, he'll start doing more sneaky things, and the occasional nice thing too, just fo a change.

TeeDee: We're sadistic, that's why we enjoy Harry-torture, right? Well… not TOO much torture. Just nice… discomforts. I'm glad you can tell that Draco's basically having a crush. Thanks!

triola: Oh… I'm sure Harry wouldn't be able to resist Draco for long. Thank you so much for the review!

aescuridaovem: Funky name. I feel even more fuzzy when I get all your awetastic reviews. Sorry about the big, big, big wait. The ice-cream all melted. Aww…

Mikril-dey