Hey everybody, long time no update, huh? Well, that's partially because I've been absorbed in school work (though the semester is finally done) and also due to the fact that I'm currently struggling in finding ground on this story. It's just getting really hard for me and I don't know why and at this point I'm really torn between pushing forward or leaving the story be (and maybe continue it sometime in the future?). I'll see what I can do.
For now, here's an update (thanks to the pushing of my wonderful bestest friend Becca). She challenged me to update before she finished school and, well, since I'm horrible at backing down from writing challenges, here the next chapter is. (Sorry if it's not all you wanted it to be Becca :c)
Thanks to all of you who've been reading and those who have favorite-d and alerted! It means a lot that although I stopped updating there were still some taking interest! And all my love goes out to you reviewers: itrymybest, pixiejazz, tank602, DeadPetSparky, and childwhoiscool. Enjoy!
The Kogan Trilogy:: Falling is Like This
PART I- Falling is Like This
CHAPTER SIX:: Better Together
PART THREE: Real Things
The streets of New York City bustles with life.
It wasn't at all that much different from the city that was settled on the side a few ways away from the University back in his current place of residency, so Logan didn't have too much trouble getting used to the boisterous atmosphere. New York was definitely much larger in size, however, and more often than not he ended up asking for directions trying to find his parents' apartment after a long walk. He didn't mind wandering for a while though, there was so much to see, great views to take in.
He thinks it's no wonder his parents moved here. Every corner turn brings you to a sidewalk of new adventure.
Grey plastic bags swinging at his side, mint shaded scarf wrapping up to the tip of his bottom lip, Logan hums to himself a gentle melody as his curious eyes take in the sight of a café across the street. It isn't anything grand, but its pull is magnetic, the place illuminated in a soft yellow glow that promises warmth, the décor giving it a nice "home" touch that would make anyone feel acquainted. He thinks quickly, 'I have to bring Kendall here.'
A smile presses to his lips. Kendall. The blonde sweet, lovely of a boy waiting for him to return.
He can still feel the lingering touch of his lips on his fingers from their farewell at the airport, his good-natured goodbye despite the circumstances, his bright-white smile before he took off through the sliding doors.
How he missed him.
Sure he had the fortune of various events springing up every now and then to help him forget, family outings, relative visits, helping with errands. But at the end of the day, Logan would find himself tucked in bed, mind drifting off to thoughts of the green-eyed boy. What has he done or where he could be? What is he doing right as Logan's eyes flutter shut?
They talk, but sometimes knowing isn't quite enough.
He yearns to look over his shoulders, to see that dimpled smile grace his boyfriend's features as he rubs a thumb over the knuckles of his calloused hand.
'Two days.' Logan thinks optimistically as he rounds a corner to where his parents' apartment building appears in the distance. 'Two more days and you'll finally be able to see him.'
He trudges through the fairly clear sidewalk, autumn leaves crunching under his shoes as he makes his way inside the edifice. It's not a far walk to the stairs, where he climbs up to the third floor, making his way down the narrow corridor until he's in front of the front door.
His parents have handed him keys for the duration of his stay and he allows himself in. He pulls off his burgundy coat and scarf, briefly straightening out his black sweater before walking over to the kitchen. His mother isn't present, but he knows that she's got to be somewhere in the apartment so he calls out. "Mom, I bought you some of the ingredients you said you needed for dinner tonight!"
At this she strolls out from one of the opened rooms down the hall, her face lighting up at the sight of the plastic bag her son was currently unloading.
"Oh, Logan, dear, you didn't have to." She says immediately, reaching over the counter to pat his cheek.
"I ended up passing by the market you like on my walk, so I thought why not?" He gives her a smile as he turns to place the cans and spices in a neat pile in the corner of the kitchen.
"Well, you ought to take shorter walks young man. That market's several miles away. In this weather, you are going to catch yourself a cold." His mother lectures from behind and, right when he's about to confront her with the argument that the coats she lent him is sure to keep his body heat, the phone goes off ringing down the hall pulling their attention.
"I'll get that!" She calls, footsteps echoing as she makes her way over, asking for Logan to pull out the meat from the freezer in the process.
The brunet has just placed the cold meat on a plate when he hears his mother's shout of "it's for you!" He wastes no time in washing his hands clean of residue in the sink, striding down the same hallway and flashing his mom a wide smile. He takes the silver phone from her grasp, bringing it to his ear as she disappears out, presumably, to resume duties the kitchen.
Logan doesn't need to ask who it is. There's really only one person who calls him through his parent's house phone when he fails to pick up his cell.
"Hello." He says rather cheekily.
An erotic moan sounds through, followed by the needy call of his name, "Logan."
The brunet jumps, entirely caught off guard by the response. Cheeks flushing red and eyes growing wide, he squeaks. "k-k-Kendall!"
The blonde begins laughing and Logan can just imagine his smug face as his chuckles subside and he answers, "Just messing with ya, Logie."
He groans, laying his heated face against the cool wall on his side as he mumbles, "You are so lucky my mom wasn't here when you did that or else there'd be some serious explaining to do."
"Wrong number?" The blonde suggests.
"I doubt she'd buy that if I'd recognized you."
He could imagine the other shrugging along with his response. "Then you could just tell her the truth?"
"Hmmm, maybe."
Logan says this quietly although he knows, honestly, telling his mother would be the last thing he'd want to do at the moment. He doesn't know how his family would handle it—and it's not even really the fact that he has a "boyfriend" that's worrying him. It's the fact that he has to confess to them that he's "dating".
He knows his parents have told him time and time again that education comes first. It's a message that's been drilled into his head since dinnertimes with the family in elementary school, but it's not like he planned for his high school's famous hockey captain to ask him out in his freshman year of college. It just kinda. . . happened.
He's not sure if his parents would understand.
"So what have you been up to this morning?" Kendall's voice pulls him back. "I've been ringing your cell and it worried me when you didn't answer."
The brunet can't help smiling at hearing this. "Sorry. I left my phone charging in the guest room while I went out for a walk this morning."
"You walk a lot."
Logan laughs at this. It's been one of his biggest excuses as to why he hasn't answered his cell these days. "You'll be surprised of all you can see on the streets of New York."
"Hey, hey, don't get too comfortable up there, Logan." The blonde chides him, though his tone carries a hint of playfulness. "You've got an amazing education and an extremely handsome slash incredible boyfriend waiting for you over here."
"More like an extremely egotistical boyfriend." Logan teases.
"Fine, believe what you want. I was just stating the clear facts."
He gives a chuckle, also providing a sarcastic, "Sure."
Afterwards there's a calming silence, the only noise being the clinking of dishes echoing from down the hall and Logan's right ear faintly registers Kendall's soft breathing on the other end of the line.
It doesn't bother him in the least, the break in their conversation, and he's more than comforted by it. They can stay on the phone for hours, just like this, basking in the silent reassurance of simply knowing that when they open their mouths they'd be heard, that they are both on either side of this call, that they are still connected. It's as if the distance had done nothing to tear them apart.
Logan likes that feeling.
"I miss you." Kendall's voice floats softly through the receiver and a heaviness fills Logan's chest. "Agh, I'm sorry I keep saying that every time we talk, but—"
"No, no, it's okay." The brunet interrupts, not wanting the blonde to be overcome with guilt for his caring actions. "It's what you feel. It's fine, and besides. . . I miss you too."
Kendall lets out a breathy laugh, although it comes off to Logan as the kind someone makes when they're nervous. "So, do you know of anything I could take to keep me unconscious for the next two days?"
"Kendall," Logan practically snaps, "That's a terrible thing to say after Thanksgiving!"
"I know, I know, it's just," He hears the other boy give a sigh, "Just hurry back, okay?"
"Okay." Logan gives him a steady reply, although he's actually feeling rather wary. There's something about the way Kendall talks that sounds anxious, slightly frustrated. Could something have happened between the hours he last spent talking to him?
A shout struggling to be heard over rushing water drifts out from the kitchen, "Logan, can you please come over here and lend your mother a helping hand!"
"Coming!" The brunet yells over his shoulder. He brings the phone back to his ear. "Hello?"
"Gotta go?"
"Yeah, but you can call me back in the evening." Logan suggests before adding as an afterthought, "preferably after nine-thirty, should be back from shopping in Manhattan by then."
"Okay. Have fun."
"Bye."
Logan stares at the phone in his hand for a while once he's pressed the "end call" button. A million and one thoughts cross his mind, but he doesn't even have the time to acknowledge them because his assistance is needed.
All he knows is that he's really looking forward to that phone call later.
Kendall's resolve is crumbling.
What he once thought of as a fleeting wish, something he believed could one day happen over a course of extended time, is now a demanding desire flaming within his chest.
He wants to live with Logan and, fuck him sideways, he's only known the guy for a handful of months, much less been dating him for a little over one month. It's too soon for him to request that the boy should move into a place with him. Besides, didn't Logan tell him that they needed to take it slow, that they were supposed to be pacing this relationship out? But no, he had to let himself go off and daydream.
Honestly, though, Kendall believes he probably wouldn't have been in this situation if he hadn't had that dream the night after the day Logan left.
He had already gone through a whole day missing Logan enough as it was, and his restless mind just had to toy with him in his sleep. It started out normal enough, attending the usual college classes on campus, chattering amongst fellow classmates about quiz scores and projects. Except when he was supposed to meet Logan at the Student Union cafeteria he showed no sign of being around. He ran, trying to find his way to the student dorms to check up on him, only the pathways kept winding around in circles, the shuttle bus dropping him off back to the center of campus.
Growing tiresome and, strangely, fatigued, Kendall decides it's best if he goes home for a much needed rest, maybe give Logan a call later to ask about his whereabouts. It seems to take a ton of energy to find his car, even more so to climb the steps to his apartment, and he's right about to pass out upon entrance of his front doorway when he feels a set of sturdy arms catch him. It's Logan and he lectures him about over-exerting himself in training for that marathon he's planning to run while leading him over to this feathered couch he's never even seen before to set him down. Kendall doesn't question that everything doesn't make sense, he's simply glad to pass out and sleep.
When he awakes he finds himself encased in a thick green fleece, the brunet holding him tightly against his chest, singing. He doesn't even know the song, much less heard Logan sing in real life, but he really likes the way he's kissed atop the head every now and then as Logan strokes his lower back. Afterwards they discuss dinner, Logan's laughter filling the air as Kendall whines for a big bowl of Mac and cheese. The instant the other boy gets up to prepare it, however, the lights go out, and his surroundings are consumed with a frightening darkness.
Kendall awakes to the emptiness of his bedroom, shadows dancing on the walls, and he's automatically filled with the monster emotion of sadness, the craving of his boyfriend's company. He curls into himself, suddenly wishing he was back on that feathered couch, in the middle training for some marathon, and Logan beside him with his requested macaroni dish.
When morning comes he can't stop thinking about it. It's as if his subconscious has sent a wild ball rolling and Kendall ponders living with Logan. The two of them watching television, shopping for groceries, throwing flour over the countertops at each other, the result of a failed attempt to make pizza. During his family's Thanksgiving feast he's actually questioned if the reason for his distant silence is because he thinks his mother's cooking is bad (and he is quick to assure her that it's definitely not).
Kendall kind of hates himself, mostly because he knows living together is the last thing Logan would agree to, but to him it feels like he's known the other boy for a decade, and he really can't stand the thought of living alone anymore. Sometimes he finds himself actually thinking about bringing it up and then swearing that, even if Logan says no, he's going to sneak into Logan's dorm and take permanent residence on his bedroom rug if he has to.
The blonde gives a sigh as he tosses the cell phone in his hand, over and over. He glances at the clock hovering above the kitchen in the home of his youth. It's a good 15 minutes past the time Logan suggested for a phone call, but he's having trouble punching in the numbers because of this interior war with himself to bring up the topic of moving in with the brunet or not.
He sets the phone down on the counter and leans on his elbows, staring at the blue glaring screen. Maybe if he stares hard enough his phone will flash him an answer. Why not? iPhones have that "Siri" thing, maybe his phone is a high-tech model that can read his mind and provide text answers and he doesn't even know it.
A groan comes from behind and he's brought face to face with his younger sister, Katie, her hand on her hips. "Seriously?"
"What?" He answers back defensively.
"If you're going to give him a call, then give him a call." She says, gesturing towards his phone.
"Katie, it's not that easy." He grumbles back.
"How hard can it be? You just pick up the phone and punch in the number with your fingers. It's not rocket science big brother." She shakes her head as she makes her way over to the fridge, pulling out a soda can and tossing the tab into the garbage. Kendall's about to berate her for taking in such caffeine when it's close to ten at night, but she adds quickly, "Mom's asleep and there's a good CSI marathon on."
She makes her way back out, prepared to exit the kitchen, only to stop short and leave one last remark. "Seriously, Kendall, do it before he goes to sleep and stop thinking so much. If there's something troubling you, talk to him about it. He'll understand. You two are in a relationship, communication is key."
As he hears her shoes clunk up the stairs, Kendall begins to wish he'd never told his sister about Logan. Then again, she was already on the verge of figuring it out on her own anyway. Katie's smart like that. He wonders if she also knows about his current predicament. He wouldn't be surprised.
Deciding to heed his sister's advice he snatches up the phone and dials before he loses his resolve. As the ringing starts sounding, the blonde can't help but compare this to the night where he called up Logan to confess. He feels just as nervous, only slightly more comforted by his sister's remark of "he'll understand".
"Hello?"
"Ah, hey, Logan. How was your night in the city?" Kendall struggles to get out his words, not expecting him to pick up so quickly.
"Oh, it was good. There are lots of cool shops here. I even got to get my first look of Times Square. It's better in person than watching specials on TV."
"That's great." The blonde replies, but his voice sounds far from enthusiastic and he trails off. He's too distracted in contemplating how to bring the topic up.
It's like Logan reads his mind. "Kendall, is there something you wanna talk about?"
Well. That saves a lot of trouble. "Yeah. There is."
Logan's paused and waiting on the other line and it takes Kendall a moment to gather his bearings before he straightens up, grasps a hold on the counter below him and speaks. "Listen, Logan, what I'm about to say is somewhat. . . far-fetched, but here me out, okay?" He gives a three second pause before blurting out, "I want you to move in with me to my apartment."
The other boy's response is immediate, "What?"
"Now, I know what you're thinking." Kendall begins pacing around the room, fighting the compulsive urge to take it all back, play it out as a joke. "That it's crazy, we barely know each other, and you have been reminding me that we're supposed to take our relationship slow—but, I swear, it's not a bad idea. Your parents won't have to pay for your dorm, they don't even half to pay me half for rent unless they want to, I'll drive you to and from school each day, and I'll take up more shifts at work to cover the cost of food for us both!"
"Kendall—"
"No, Logan, please. There's enough room and space for you and everything. I'll help you move in." He adds quickly, "And I promise I won't try anything funny whatsoever."
Silence sounds on the other end. Kendall wonders if he's actually gotten Logan to seriously consider the option, or if he's just dragging out the seconds until he says no so that Kendall wouldn't feel like he didn't even give the suggestion a chance or not.
Even if it hurts him to throw away his couple-y fantasies, Kendall decides to take the chance if it will mean Logan being in close proximity with him for every 24 hours, "I'm not even asking for us to live like lovers. I'm asking you as a friend. We'll live together like two good friends. Nothing more."
"Like two good friends?"
"Yup."
There's another drawn out pause between the two of them before he hears a shift, Logan probably adjusting his phone against his ear, and then a final response. "I'll think about it."
Kendall's a little disappointed that those words weren't "yes", but he supposes that was asking for too much. An "I'll think about it" is better than a strict no anyway.
He exhales a breath he didn't even know he was holding. "Thank you."
"No problem."
Kendall looks up at the clock. It's not even twenty minutes past ten, but he's entirely exhausted. He figures talking over the move with Logan took more energy than he thought it would. "Sorry to cut our talk short, but I kinda wanna go to sleep now."
"It's alright. I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open myself." He hears Logan gives a small chuckle, imagines the corner of his lips tugging upwards in that cute smile. "Despite the breath-taking sights, walking in Manhattan really drains it out of you."
"I'm serious Logan, if you decide to live there the second before you board your returning flight, I am going to drive up there and drag you back over here myself." Kendall tries to make it sound threatening, but his yawn at the end pretty much ruins it.
The other's response is low, but the blonde's house is so quiet it's clearly audible, "Don't worry, I miss you too much to try."
He smiles. "Miss you too."
"Goodnight, Kendall."
"Night, Logie."
He flips his phone shut, drumming his fingertips on the countertop for a few seconds before a wide grin plasters itself on his face. Then he's bounding straight for the stairs, hopping up two at a time, and he can't help shouting the instant he bursts into his sister's room, tackling her into a hug. "Love you Katie!"