Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.
A/N: -ahem- so since my last story, "Beautiful Disaster," was about Robin comforting Starfire... I decided to flip the table. I've always wanted to see a more sensitive side to Robin. Learn what's underneath the mask and the strong facade he puts on. There had to have been a reason Slade drove him crazy from the beginning. A reason his temper is so short. A reason he feels like he needs to be a hero. So this is my attempt at unlocking the mystery that is the Boy Wonder. Robin may be a little OOC at moments... but I feel that he's a complex person with more emotions than anyone realizes. Therefore, I won't apologize for his OOCness... I will just hope that you can accept my vision of one side of him. Now, on with the story.
People like you don't just come out of thin air
~ Jasmine: Aladdin and the King of Thieves
He was flying. Truly flying. Robin could feel the wind wind rush beneath his feet as he glided through the air, the way his father had taught him. He flipped in the air, truly understanding why his family had been deemed the Flying Graysons. As his feet landed on the ground, he balanced himself the way he'd been told. His body didn't shake. He did not fall. He did not stumble. It had been a perfect landing, and he heard the sound of light applause from behind him.
"Impressive, son." John Grayson said, beeming down at his son with pride in his brilliant blue eyes. Robin had his father's eyes. This, he could not deny. Nor did he want to. His father was his role model. Most kids had superheroes. Robin? He had John Grayson: a man more determined, passionate, and devoted than any superhero.
"Dad! I was flying!" Robin shouted, throwing his bony arms around his father's waist. The man let out a soft chuckle and patted Robin's thin shoulder.
"I saw. I'm very proud of you. You're growing up fast, son. Some day, you'll be the man in the house -er- circus. And I'm confident you'll never dissapoint me."
Never dissapoint me.
Never dissapoint me.
The words rang through Robin's head repeatedly, the flashback leaving him as he stared out across Jump City. It had seemed so real - the pride in his father's eyes as he stared down at a younger Robin. The way he had spoken in a firm yet approving voice. The laughter that Robin could still hear in his mind. It felt as if John Grayson had actually been there. Unfortunately, Robin knew this was not true
John Grayson was dead. And so was his wife, Robin's mother, Mary Grayson.
Robin sighed, realizing he would never get to sleep after the flashback. He chose instead to throw his covers off of his body, standing up and heading towards the living room. Maybe he could find comfort in some food and a late movie. Or maybe he just wanted to escape his own mind. Find a place that was peaceful, and not a constant reminder of the people he had lost; the past he could not forget, no matter how hard he tried. And trust me, Robin had tried.
He had commited himself to the life of a hero, saving other people the way he had not been able to save his parents. Perhaps he did this to make amends to his mother and father. Or maybe he was just fooling himself, running around Jump City in tights and a mask, pretending to be the hero that he knew he would never be.
He walked into the living room, only to find that the TV was already on, volume so low that even though he could see actors' lips moving, he coudn't make out what they were saying.
"Robin?" Starfire asked, peeking her head over the top of the couch. He gave her a fake smile, walking over to the couch and sitting beside her. Without missing a beat, Starfire leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. This, at least, felt normal to Robin as he wrapped his arms around her thin waist, kissing the top of her head before sighing contendedly. Starfire smelled of vanilla, and the scent intoxicated him. Everything about Starfire intoxicated him.
As if she could read his mind, Starfire craned her neck around, kissing Robin's jaw lightly, trailing her lips up his jawline. Robin moved away gently, unsure as to why the sudden contact bothered him. Maybe the flashback had upset him more than he realized. Robin had gotten so used to hiding his emotions from other people, that they now remained hidden from himself. Sure, the emotions were there. The nagging feeling of regret as he studied his Red X suit. The slightest feeling of desire in his stomach when Starfire was with him, like she was now. The pang of guilt that tugged annoyingly on his heart when he yelled at one of his teammates. But Robin was all determination and unfaltering strength on the outside.
"Robin? Is everything okay?" Starfire whispered, placing her hand against his cheek. Starfire wasn't used to Robin wanting space. Ever since they'd been together, it was as if he craved her prescense. Robin had noticed this change in himself too, and had come to realize and accept that Starfire was the one weakness he had. Even Superman had kryptonite. Robin's weakness just happened to be a fiery Tamaranean who tasted of strawberries.
Strawberries. Robin found himself seeking her lips at the thought, molding their mouths together in one swift movement. It was Starfire who pulled back this time, turning so that she was facing him, her legs wrapped around his waist. Robin found it hard to form a coherent thought; his mind swam.
"Robin, are you going to tell me why you are not okay, or am I going to have to force it out of you?"
"Star, I'm fine."
"You are not fine, Robin. You cannot lie to me. You are my best friend. And my friend who is the boy." Starfire said, and Robin smiled at the way she said boyfriend. Everything about Starfire was joyous and caring. How could he put his problems on her?
"I had a nightmare. That's all."
"Do you wish to discuss this mare of nights?"
"It wasn't really a nightmare... it was actually a pretty good dream. It was just a bittersweet memory." Robin replied, tripping over his words. His heart felt as if it were being pulled in a million directions. Part of it wanted to hold Starfire and sit in silence with her. Another part wanted to break down and tell Starfire everything. And the last part? Well, as unheroic and hormonal as it was, the last part of his heart wanted him to cry.
"Robin... it is okay to let your emotions out every once in a while. You don't always have to be unbreakable."
"Star, I-" and that's when it happened. The walls Robin had so carefully put up broke down, crumbling into pieces around the Titan. Traitor tears crossed enemy lines and flowed down his face, refusing to retreat back to his eyes. They ran down his face, sliding under his mask.
Starfire crushed Robin against her, and he laid his forehead against her shoulder. She rubbed soothing circles on his back, pressing him tighter against her warm body everytime she heard one of his strangled sobs.
The two Titans stayed like this for what felt like an eternity; when they finally broke apart, Starfire's eyes were blood shot from her own tears, and Robin had removed his tear soaked mask to reveal two piercing blue eyes.
"Are your eyes always this blue?" Starfire asked, running her thumb underneath his eye. She felt the wetness of tears there, tears that had been held in for far too long.
Robin let out a weak laugh, "Yeah. Look, I'm sorry, about that."
Starfire sighed and kissed Robin's cheek lightly, "there is no reason to make an apology, Robin. You needed to let some of your emotion out. You have a habit of closing in all of your pain and fears, then letting those emotions out as anger. Do you remember when you thought you saw Slade, and you yelled at me for not catching him?" Starfire asked, instinctively plaving her hand over the spot on her arm where Robin had grabbed her. Robin frowned and replaced her hand, running his fingertips up and down the spot. Her smooth skin felt like satin against his hands.
"Yes." Robin replied, realizing he had never answered her question.
"At the time, I wondered why you had been so angry at me. But then I realized: Slade tried to take everything from you. The people you loved. The things you believed in. And that scared you. But because you kept those emotions locked up... you let them out as anger."
"I'm sorry, Star. I guess I'm used to hiding things. To make myself seem strong. Brave. Heroic."
"Robin. You have never been stronger than you are now, in my opinion. And you have never been braver." Starfire whispered, and Robin leaned his forehead against hers gently, placing his hands on either side of her face.
"I just wish I could know if they're proud of me. My parents, I mean." Robin whispered, and she smiled up at him.
"I believe they would be very proud of you, Robin. Just like I am proud of you." Starfire replied, leaning forward and kissing him gently.
"Starfire?"
"Yes?"
"Just for the record, my parents would have loved you. Almost as much as I love you."
A/N: if only you knew how long it took me to finish that ._. And so, I have some questions for you, bc this is one of the hardest pieces I've ever written: Did I make Robin seem too over dramatic? Should I have put in more flashbacks of hia parents? Did Starfire sound too... idk, unStarfireish? Let me know, please!