Chapter 11: Truth Almost Revealed

December 25, 1898

The faint sounds of Big Ben echoed through the clear night's sky. The snowflakes, fluffy and white as they gently fell; landing delicately on the cobblestone streets. The dozens of tiny footprints had long since vanished, while the sounds of their laughter lingered.

I sat quietly by the window, wrapping my arms around me as I tried to keep warm. No fire burned for I didn't think I would be downstairs for that long to begin with. Many thought about my feelings for Basil continued to torture me. No matter how hard I tried to clear my mind of them, they still managed to come back. After our encounter under the mistletoe the day before, I kept wondering if that kiss meant something more. I knew it clearly established how I felt, but what about him? It should have been just a simple thing. Two seconds. Done. Move on. Right? Instead, it was long and passionate for the both of us it seemed.

Throw in what had almost happened only several hours ago really confused me. The kiss I could understand, but that one incident that could have ruined the both of us told me that this was definitely going too fast. It made me even wonder if Basil was really thinking straight…

The evening seemed to go by like normal: Basil isolating himself as he dabbled with his chemistry set, Dr. Dawson at his office with a few patients, and finally Mrs. Judson, Olivia, and myself out doing some last minute Christmas shopping. No one, not even myself could have predicted what was to soon happen in only several hours' time.

The small clock on the mantel read half passed ten when I headed upstairs after placing some more presents for the others under the tree. Checking to make sure Olivia was definitely asleep this time, I began to make my way to my own room. However, I was stopped in my tracks when I heard the faint sound of humming coming from the bedroom beside me. Knowing who is was, I became curious.

Carefully tiptoeing towards the door, I placed my ear against it. I was right. Basil was humming. I don't know why, but I found it rather amusing. But when he stopped and began to walk in my direction, I panicked and backed away from the door, thinking that he was about to open it. Instead of rushing to my room, I remained still. When I realized that he wasn't doing as I assumed, I signed with relief.

"You don't have to stand out there all night, Miss Méndez," Basil said quite amusingly.

I guess my assumption was incorrect. Hesitating at first, I walked on in, but Basil was nowhere in sight. That didn't last long when he stepped out of the closet, his smoking jacket slightly loosened and exposing more than when I thought I would ever see. Blushing, I let what I saw slide.

"You seem awfully cheerful," I commented taking a seat on the edge of his bed.

He chuckled as he light his pipe. "Should I not be?

"Ye-I mean no. It's just…well…It's something I rarely see from you."

"This is quite true," he agreed before closing the closet door. As he approached me, he stopped in front of me and began to what seemed like observe me. I knew at the moment my reaction to this could go in one of two directions. But for some reason, panic was not it. I wondered what he was staring at. I knew I was soon to get my answer.

"W-what is it?" I asked curiously.

"How would you look with your hair tamed?" he mumbled, but it was still clear enough for me to hear and question.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, your hair," he pointed out, walking over to his bureau to retrieve a small comb and place his pipe down. "it's quite lovely, but it's always…pardon the expression, a mess! Would you mind if I…that is…" Not even finishing his rambling of a question, and me no being able to reply properly, Basil sat down on the bed, turning me so that my back was facing him. Removing the small black clip that held most of the catastrophe that was my hair in place, he delicately began to comb it out.

As close as he was, I could easily detect the pleasant aroma of peppermint pipe tobacco radiating off his jacket. Just like our encounter, it seemed highly intoxicating. The gentle touch of his hands caused my heart to beat rapidly. During this unusual moment, no words were exchanged, since I really had no idea what to say. I could also feel his hands begin to tremble when the comb went through my thick strands one last time.

"There we are," he said while he placed the comb on the bedside table. "Much better."

I remained still as his long fingers still lingered through several dark strands. Turning my head towards him, our eyes locked. His eyes seemed so hypnotizing. Stuck in the trance, he leaned towards me, catching my lips with his own. Tense from surprise, I soon relaxed as I allowed myself to be taken into the passion.

Breaking away, Basil looked at me with worry, wondering if he had done something wrong. But I assured him otherwise when I wrapped my arms around his neck and caught his lips again, only this time deepening the kiss. Wrapping his arms around my waist, he moved forward so that I was lying on the mattress. It was at that moment that a part of me didn't want to let him go, but suddenly, my conscience began to yell at me, telling me to stop our foolishness before it became much worse.

"Basil…stop," I told him, pushing him off of me so I could sit up. He watched, confused as to why I reacted in such a way. Seeing my nightgown was slightly raised, I panicked and quickly straightened it out.

"What is it? What's wrong?" he questioned, placing his hand on my shoulder. I knew he was only concerned, but I instantly swatted him away before rising to my feet, turning towards him.

"Th-this isn't right. We shouldn't be doing this. I shouldn't have led you on this way," I babbled on, backing away from him.

"What are you talking about? You haven't done anything wrong-"

"Yes, I have. Basil, I almost ruined you." Not giving him a chance to reply, I ran out of his room towards my own, locking it from behind me.

I learned to accept my feelings for him. Though I knew the possible damage that would come along with it. The lies…Sooner or later, he would grow suspicious of me. In fact, in some ways he already has, even though he never told me directly. Whenever he asked about my family, I sometimes had to think for a moment before answering. I couldn't tell him the complete truth about them, for a lot of things that they have done (especially my mother and sister) have not yet existed. And down the line, he'd probably wonder why I never wished to see them or vice versa. It's the simplest things like that that I knew would get me into trouble in the future. The guilt has already began to take its toll on me whenever I did tell him something that wasn't true from the start. I was just digging a deep hole for myself. In my mind, I went back and forth on whether or not to give in and tell them all the truth. But what would happen? Would they believe me or not? Probably not. Who would believe such a ridiculous thing as something being from a completely different time period and being something completely different.

"I thought someone was down here," a familiar voice interrupted, ripping me out of my thoughts. "Miss Méndez, I figured you would have been in bed hours ago."

Feeling as if I had done something wrong, I rose to my feet and kept my head down as he approached me. "M-my apologies, Mr. Basil, I-I didn't mean…" Thinking that me speaking or trying to explain myself was going to get me into trouble, I just added, "I'll just leave you." Before I had a chance to make my way passed him, I felt a gentle tug on my hand. Looking up at him confusingly, he smiled.

"It's perfectly all right. You have every right to be down here, I was only concerned for it doesn't seem normal for you to be sitting here at this late hour. Please." Motioning for me to sit back down, I hesitated for a moment before taking my place once more, only this time, the detective had done the very same. "Is something troubling you?"

I nodded. "Kind of," I answered softly. "But it's nothing really."

"Do you seriously expect me to believe that, my dear? Do tell me."

I sat there in silence for a moment, wondering if I should take this as a final opportunity to tell him what was on my mind. But being the coward I was, I looked away with great shame. "I can't."

"You can't or you won't?"

"Both," I answered simply.

"And why do you think that is? Do you not trust me?"

"Basil, I trust you more than you know-"

"Then let me in. Why is it that you feel the need to keep yourself locked up?"

"It's…it's hard to explain."

"Well, then try and make it simple to explain." This mouse was so determined to make myself open up to him, that it made me wonder why he was still trying since every time I pushed him away. As he had confessed when I received that letter, he was wasting his time with me. But something inside me, made me want to say something. Even if it wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"Have you ever felt like you had to be someone you weren't?"

"I do that everyday."

"Not when it comes to your detective work, just in general."

"I don't follow…"

I sighed deeply. "Day to day I feel that I'm forgetting more of who I really am because I feel like I becoming someone I'm not so that I can protect myself."

"Then stop trying to be who you aren't and let those see you for who you really are."

"But I can't."

"Why?"

"That's where it's hard to explain." Basil sat there for a moment or so, before sighing himself. Getting up from his seat, he stood before me and then kneeled to so his face was across from my own.

"Is it because there's something about you that you don't want me to see?" he asked softly, taking my hands into his own.

Looking into his eyes, I could see that he was concerned. "It's not just you, it's everyone," I replied, looking away.

"I'm doing all I can to help, Miss Méndez. But my only problem from being able to accomplish that is that you have to tear down this wall you have built. I feel helpless if you do not cooperate with me. I believe that you hiding your problems are only making things worse for you and it is going to cause you to remain quiet until it is too late."

Come on, Paula. Now is your chance to tell him the truth. Do it now and spare yourself the guilt… "I can't…" I could see the disappointment in his eyes before he looked away from me for a brief moment. "Not yet at least."

Basil nodded in defeat. Though I could see the determination, he chose to let it go for the time being. "My God, your hands are frozen. Come, I'll start a fire," he said softly, guiding me towards the couch. Truthfully, I was so deep in thought that I hadn't even realized how cold it was until Basil mentioned it. Wrapping a blanket around me, I watched as she placed a few logs and crumpled up newspaper into the dark fireplace before striking a match.

Realizing that I was much colder than I thought, I wrapped the blanket around me like a cocoon. When Basil noticed this, he rushed over and sat down beside me before motioning for me to lean into him. Hesitating at first, I did as he asked. His body was so warm compared to mine. For as long as I have been down here, I was amazed I didn't suddenly gain a cold. Wrapping another blanket over me, he held me close so I could get warm faster.

I shivered against his body as the warmth from him, the blankets, and the fire slowly began to take over me. Still, I could feel those slight chills shoot up my body once in a while. It was just when I finally became warm, the familiar told roared loud and cheerfully. Remaining still and quiet, I counted chimes. I smiled warmly when the final chime fainted away. It was six-o-clock Christmas morning.

"When should we be expecting Olivia to wake up?" I asked Basil softly for sleep was now approaching me.

"Not for a couple more hours," he answered in the same tired tone as he leaned his head back. "Mrs. Judson usually wakes her before heading downstairs herself."

"Really? I would have assumed she'd come rushing down those stairs at any given moment."

The detective chuckled lightly. "One might think such a thing, but she usually doesn't wake until half passed eight. So might I strongly suggest you try to get some rest?"

I nodded as I sighed and nestled into him a bit more to make myself comfortable. "Basil…"

"Hmm…"

"Would you mind if I asked you something?"

He chuckled, knowing that if he didn't allow it, I probably wouldn't go to sleep. "Of course."

"Do you care about her? I can see you are fond of her."

"Indeed I am. But if you noticed then why you ask?"

"I don't know. Curious I suppose."

"Well, I'll admit she's the only child to really have such an affect on me. I've never been too fond of children since I've never dealt with them."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I sometimes think you have a father's love for her."

"It may seem that way. Though the child does seem to crawl under my skin at times, she also tends to brighten my dullest days. I'd give up my life first before anything could ever happen to her." I smiled softly and knew that he meant every word of it. I soon yawned as I covered my mouth with the blankets, finally feeling warm.

"Get some rest, dear," Basil whispered before I drifted off to sleep, him following moments after.