Mission Three: Girl of the Future!

Alison Alicia Alexis Ashlynn was just your typical, everyday girl. She had the typical average waist length blond hair that never got dirty or tangled, a typical body that made men and women fall madly in love with her, the typical super-genius level IQ, and the typical talents in every possible field. She could sing, she could dance, she could act, she could play every instrument, she could cook, she was a piano prodigy, she discovered cold fusion, she was fluent in over sixty languages, was a self-made millionaire by the age of eleven, and was Valedictorian, Prom Queen, Homecoming Queen, School President four years running, a straight-A student, had perfect attendance, and was in the Chess Club, Math Club, Honors Society, and Glee Club.

But, despite all this, she was the most unhappy person to ever live, because she had no true friends, only hangers-on and toadies.

The fact that she was a stuck up, self centered snob who looked down her nose at everyone never once crossed her mind.

She had one escape-her computer. She would spend hours on it browsing fanfiction for the newest stories about her biggest crush, Tarrant Hightopp from the magical film Alice in Wonderland. She had seen the movie two hundred times in the theater, and each time she imagined how much fun it would be to live in Underland with him. She could do without that ugly old Knave, though! He was so icky. She wrote story after story in which she fell down the Hole and wowed the citizens of Underland with her vast wisdom and amazing technology. Just imagine how they would react to her laptop! Or to her digital camera! Or even to Hershey's chocolate! They would be astounded and treat her like royalty!

One day, while she was walking in her private forest, she came across a gigantic hole that she had never seen before. "It must be the Rabbit Hole! I will jump down to Underland and wow them with my technology, which they will mistake for magic, and my intelligence!" With that, she adjusted the straps on her Hello Kitty backpack, took a deep breath, and jumped.

Meanwhile, at Sue Slayer HQ

Terri was jerked out of a very pleasant dream involving Rumplestiltskin from OUAT and whipped cream by the sound of a siren blaring. "What the? !" She blinked, rubbing her face to wake herself up, and turned her attention to a large video screen hanging on the wall. It was blinking ALERT ALERT over and over, and she turned to her computer, growling. "Great. LYDIA!"

Lydia came staggering in, her hair in corkscrews and her eyes still half shut. "What?"

Terri pointed to the screen. "Assignment."

Lydia groaned, sinking into a nearby chair. "It's three in the morning! Can't it wait until a more decent hour?" Terri gave her a look, and she huffed. "Fine, what's the Status?"

"It's an Anachronism Sue. She's planning on bringing technology to Underland."

Lydia rolled her eyes. "Yeah, that'll work. Don't these Future!Sues realize that Underland is pretty much in the Victorian Era?"

"No, I think they're too focused on the perceived hotness of Tarrant to notice anything else."

"This from the girl that tries not to drool whenever she talks to Ilosovic."

Terri blushed crimson. "He knows I have a crush on him, and he also knows that I'm great friends with Alannah and would never attempt anything. Just like you would never try anything with Tarrant, Miss Gets all giggly when he grins at you."

Lydia pouted. "I do not get giggly! Well...okay, but he teases me!" She stuck her tongue out at Terri's eye roll. "So, is the Sue in Underland yet?"

Terri scrolled down. "No, she just arrived in the Hall of Doors. If we hurry, we can catch her before she gets in. I want to have a talk with her."

Lydia grinned. Terri's 'talks' tended to leave the Sues black and blue.

Ten minutes later, they were breakfasted, dressed, and ready to go. Terri opened up the passage to the Hall of Doors, and the Slayers jumped through.

Hall of Doors

Alison stood gracefully, brushing a tiny strand of hair out of her face, and looked around, trying to remember how to get into Underland. She knew it had something to do with drinking and eating, but her Hatter-obsessed mind wasn't being of any help. So she decided to use that all powerful oracle known as Google. She found a comfortable spot on the floor and took her laptop out of her backpack. She opened it up, flipped the switch-

And nothing happened.

Alison frowned. She had made sure to charge the battery before leaving, so it couldn't have died already! She turned it off and on again, and was met by blackness.

"Why don't you try it forty two more times? It might work then!"

Alison jumped at the voice. She turned her head, gaping at the women that emerged from the shadows. They were both dressed in long shirts, trousers, and boots, but what made Alison gulp in fear was the rather large assortment of knives they had between them and the looks of sheer hatred they were giving her. The woman who had spoken was the taller of the two, and Alison knew right away that she was the more dangerous. Still, her bravado took over. "Who are you?"

"Teresa Wright, and this is my partner in crime Lydia McGlyn. We're here because you, Alison Alicia Alexis Ashlynn, are a Sue of the Future. Now..." Terri sat in front of Alison and pulled out a long knife with a serrated edge. "We're going to have a talk of many things. First off, can you tell me when Alice in Wonderland takes place?"

Alison scrunched up her face in intense constipation...err..concentration. "2010?" She yelped in shock when Terri slapped her hand with the flat of her knife.

"No, that's when the movie came out. Alice's Adventures in Wonderland was written in 1865 by Lewis Carroll. The sequel book, Through The Looking Glass and What Alice Found There, was written in 1871. Now, can you tell me what time period that would be?"

"Derrr...Victorian?"

Lydia smiled indulgently and patted Alison on the head rather hard. "Good girl! Nice to see that super genius IQ being put to some use. Now, were there computers back then?"

"...No?"

Terri grinned like a shark. "Correct! So, if there weren't any computers, why would your laptop work?"

Alison glared at her. "It's a fictional world, I can do what I want!" She saw stars as a furious Terri backhanded her.

"I am so fucking sick of that excuse! So many Sues use that 'oh, it's not a real world, I can do what I want!' Bull-fucking-shit! Even fictional worlds have Rules, you bloody wanker."

Lydia smacked the back of Alison's head. "Part of our job is to make sure the Rules are followed. By bringing anachronistic items into Underland, you are breaking major Rules. Not to mention being quite the Sue. But, since you haven't actually entered Underland yet, we're inclined to show you a bit of mercy."

Terri frowned. "We are?" Lydia nodded, winking at her, and Terri grinned. "Oh, yes we are. Alison, you are a Sue, but the Slayer Rules say we can't actually kill you unless you interfere with the citizens of Underland, and you haven't done that yet. However, you have written a great deal of self insert wish fulfillment fanfiction, and that will make your punishment a bit harsher. Lydia, if you would?"

Alison barely had time to react before Lydia grabbed her jaw, forcing her mouth open. Terri pulled a bottle out of her pocket and dumped the foul contents down Alison's throat. Before she could spit them out, Lydia clamped her nose and mouth shut, forcing her to swallow. Alison coughed, then fell forward unconscious. Terri and Lydia watched as she began to fade away. Soon all that was left was a vaguely sweet smell. Lydia coughed. "Ugh, Sue-stink. I hope that potion works."

Terri pocketed the bottle. "When have Alannah's potions ever not worked? Alison will wake up in her home, and have no desire to write shitty fic ever again. Now, why don't we see if Mirana and Gavin are having a feast? I could use a bit of fun."

Lydia grinned, and the Slayers walked into Underland, eager to see their friends.