Interlude Two: A Fine Feast

Mirana was in the palace kitchens mixing together ingredients for Pishalver when Mctwisp came hopping in. "Majesty, Teresa and Lydia are waiting for you in the throne room" Mirana sighed in resignation and headed out of the kitchen, wondering what new devilry was plaguing Underland this time. She gave the Slayers a friendly but cautious smile.

"Greetings, my friends. What brings you here?"

Teresa laughed. "Mirana, don't look so suspicious. We're here on a visit, nothing more. We took care of the Sue already. Lyds and I managed to neutralize her in the Hall of Doors. She won't be coming back, either."

Mirana sighed in relief."Well, thank Time for small favors. What species of Sue was she?"

Lydia turned from her admiration of the Vorpal Sword to answer. "A Future Sue. Thought she would wow you guys with her 'magical' technology. Terri and I had to explain once again that that stuff doesn't work here. You'd think after a while, they would get it."

Terri scoffed. "Lydia, Sues aren't exactly known for intelligence, no matter how high of an IQ they claim to have."

"IQ in this case meaning Idiot Quotient," snarked Mirana, making the two Slayers giggle like hyenas. "Well, since you both are here on a visit, I propose a feast. I'll invite the Stayne and Hightopp Clans as well as Gavin, and we'll eat in my private dining quarters. Does that meet your approval?"

Terri pretended to think. "Hmm...delicious food, excellent spirits, enjoyable company and conversation, no needing to clean up after, and the chance to meet your boyfriend? I suppose we can endure it. What do you think, Lyds?"

"It will be difficult, but we'll manage. Now, where's the grub?"

Mirana laughed. "I'll tell Thackery to get started on the feast right away, and in the meanwhile I'll contact the clans and Gavin and tell them to come to Marmoreal."

Thirty minutes later, everyone was gathered in Mirana's private dining quarters, and many lively conversations were going on. Lydia and Terri were discussing the latest in Sue-Slaying with Ilosovic, Gavin and Victoria were arguing the merits of hand squeezed versus press squeezed shimbleberries for cordials and wines, Alannah and Arianna were discussing the fact that Fiona was showing an interest in the Healing Arts and the possibility of Alannah training her when she came of age, Michael and Tarrant were discussing Michael's latest book-a collection of recipes made for the Mad Tea Party, and the others were interjecting into the various conversations with their ideas or input-occasionally remembering to eat a bit of food-when the doors banged open and the last thing anyone expected to see came flouncing in.

The intruder was a young woman with lank blond hair and a pockmarked face. She had on a tee shirt that said "Alice + Mirana=True Love Forever!" The shirt was covered in pins showing Alice and Mirana giving each other affectionate looks. In each hand the girl carried a placard. One said "Malice Forever!" and the other said "Down With Talice!" Before Mirana could open her mouth to ask what the devil was going on, the girl marched up to the table. "Mirana and Alice belong together! I have proof that they are the only true pairing supported by the movie! I watched it frame by frame to prove it! Alice and Tarrant are boring and predictable! Alice had a chance for a life with her Queen and she should not be with Tarrant! Mirana needs Alice! They are the most perfect of perfect pairings! Long Live Malice! Long Live Malice! Long Li...ULK!"

Terri blinked in pretend shock. "Oh my, you appear to have a knife in your neck. I have no idea how that got there. Lydia?"

Lydia's face was the picture of innocent bewilderment. "No idea. Wonder how she got in? I thought we'd shut the Door. Oh well, she'll be dead in a few moments."

Lydia's prediction proved true, and soon the girl was still. Mirana wrinkled her nose. "Let us hope we have no more intrusions. By the way, I thought Sues were all unearthly beauties. This one seems rather plain."

Terri poked at the wound. "Suethor. And from the way she was rabbiting on, I'd say she's a DFOS Suethor."

Tarrant blinked in confusion. "DFOS?"

"Die For Our Ship", Terri said. "It's a term where we're from that means that a fic writer only accepts one pairing, whether it's canon or not."

"What does a cannon have to do with anything?"

Teresa and Lydia exchanged resigned looks, took deep breaths, and proceeded to tell the Underlanders all about fanfiction.