Mission Four: Invasion!

It was two months Earth time since the feast in Underland, and Terri and Lydia had found themselves in a bit of a slump. Oh, they had jobs, but most of the Sues and Stus were so poorly written and defined that they required only a minimum effort to exterminate. Teresa was becoming more bored by the minute. Why couldn't they have an actual challenge?!

Little did she know that her pleas had been heard.

The Slayers were lounging in their Quarters trying to stave off boredom when an earsplitting shriek rent the air. Lydia, who had been scribbling story ideas in her notebook, screamed and jumped in the air, causing the notebook and her pen to go flying. Teresa clapped her hands to her ears, wincing. "The hell?!" she shouted, head starting to pound.

Lydia had discovered the source of the noise. "It's the Sue Alert! It's going crazy!"

Teresa had to shout over the persistent blare of the alarm. "It's never been this loud be..." she trailed off, eyes wide and face pale as she read the word flashing on her monitor in tall, bright red letters. "Lydia, suit up! Any weapons you can carry, get them, and be ready to leave in two minutes!" Terri leapt out of her chair and began strapping on knives, guns, swords at a furious pace, then turned to Lydia. "We've got an invasion." Lydia gaped at her for half a second than bolted for her weapons.

As soon as they were kitted out, Terri opened a passage, and the women leapt through. "Oh, thank Time!"

Terri blinked, recognizing where they were-the Staynes' cottage. Alannah was in the kitchen, a large silver pot in front of her in which a strange purple liquid bubbled. She cast the Slayers a grateful look. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you two. We're just barely holding our own."

Lydia frowned. 'What happened?"

"Two days ago, a messenger came with news that a hole had been discovered where one had never been before, and that he could hear singing coming from it. Ilosovic went to investigate with a Patrol, and..." Alannah took a deep breath before continuing. "they were attacked. Patrol barely made it back, and there were a few casualties. Mirana Sealed the hole, but a lot of Sues and Stus got through. I was the one to sound the Alarm."

Teresa gulped. "Ilosovic?"

Alannah smiled at her, not unaware of the crush she had. "He's perfectly fine. He's immune to Sues, remember? Tarrant and the others are fine too. I gave them some of my Blocker," she said, pointing at the liquid in the pot. "Now, I know as Slayers you both have a natural immunity to Sues or to becoming Sues, but I'm not taking any chances." She dipped two goblets into the pot and handed them over. "Drink." They obeyed, wincing as the cold liquid sloshed down their throats. "I know it tastes vile. Now, come with me." She walked over to the mirror, and for the first time Teresa and Lydia saw she was fitted out for battle.

"Where are we going?" Terri asked.

Alannah smiled grimly. "Chess Board, and you're going to be a welcome sight."

Ilosovic wiped the sweat from his forehead as he dispatched another Sue. This one had been crying that Thackery, of all creatures,was her one and only true love. Oddly, she looked like a cross between a human and a hare-if said hare had 'long, silky ears and the softest fur ever'. He looked over to where Katarina and Victoria were battling two Stus at once, and silently thanked Time that he had passed his immunity down to his children. Now, if only..he yelped in shock as Alannah appeared out of thin air, accompanied by Teresa and Lydia. "About bloody time you three showed up!"

Alannah gave him a quick kiss. "Sorry, love, but someone had to be there to give the Slayers an extra boost. Now, Lydia, Teresa, if you're ready?" The Slayers grinned, then drew their swords and ran into the fray.

Gavin and Mirana were fighting back to back, their swords swinging in unison. Mirana sliced the head off a Sue that was claiming herself heir to the throne by dint of being Mirana's future daughter, and Gavin dispatched one claiming to be Alice's thirteen times great granddaughter. "I must say, Mirana, you have some skill in fighting. I would not think it to look at you."

Mirana grinned savagely. "Well, I took fencing lessons as a girl, but after the battle with Narcissa, I approached Ilosovic about learning how to fight in combat situations. I much prefer being a warrior queen to the placid one I was before." She turned to smile at him. "Though I must say, you and I have a rather natural rapport, and your skill is quite commendable."

"Sword fighting is a skill that once learned, is never truly forgotten. Though I must say, our rapport is nothing compared to theirs." Gavin pointed to Alannah and Ilosovic, who seemed to be fighting in unison. "I've never seen any two people that attuned to each others' movements." Mirana nodded, then resumed the fight.

Teresa took a deep breath. It seemed as if they had been fighting for hours, and still the Sues and Stus kept coming. She looked around, and suddenly spotted something on the horizon. Terri raised her hand to her eyes, peering closer, and cursed under her breath. "LYDIA!"

Her partner looked up, and Terri pointed to the back of the Board. Lydia stared, and cursed loudly, then turned to Tarrant. "When you hear Teresa give the signal, drop flat on the ground. Pass the word." Tarrant looked mystified, but did as he was told. Lydia fought her way through the crowd towards her, and they ran towards the back of the Board.

A woman stood there, and it was hard to tell what she looked like. Her hair was blonde, then red, then brown, then black, then kaleidoscope colors, and her eyes changed colors so quickly that they seemed to blend into one another. Her body shifted, first showing long legs and large breasts, then fur, then a cat's tail and ears, then a female version of Tarrant, then a younger looking Mirana. She turned to the Slayers, her voice both young, and deep, and soft and old and musical at the same time. "YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME! I AM MARY SUE FANGIRL, THE MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE WORLD! SOON, THIS WORLD WILL BE MINE, AND I WILL MAKE IT A SPARKLY PARADISE WHERE ALL SHALL LOVE AND WORSHIP ME!"

Teresa and Lydia advanced on her, guns drawn. Mary Sue Fangirl laughed when they pressed their guns against her forehead. "Ordinary bullets cannot kill me!"

Teresa grinned and pressed the gun deeper. "Ordinary? No. Silver? Yes. NOW!"

The White Army threw themselves on the ground. At the same time, Lydia and Teresa pulled the triggers.

At first, nothing happened. Mary laughed. "I told..." she stopped, shuddering violently. "No...I...this...NOOOOOOOOO!"

Teresa grabbed Lydia and pulled her down as Mary Sue Fangirl exploded in a glittery mass.

Arianna was the first to stand. "They're gone! The Sues and Stus are gone!" She watched as Terri and Lydia came forward. "What happened?"

Teresa smiled tiredly. "We killed the Source. Mary Sue Fangirl herself. Well...at least for now."

Tarrant frowned. "For now?"

Lydia nodded. "Unfortunately, there's always another. But, that's why we're here. To make sure that the balance is maintained. And really, compared to some other fic worlds, this one is peaceful."

Mirana nodded. "True. Now, I propose that we go get cleaned up and have a marvelous party lasting...oh, until we are tired of partying to celebrate!"

The suggestion was met with cheers of approval.

And so began a Party that would go down in Underland history. After, nobody could quite say what they loved most about it, whether it was the delicious food, the dances, the music, the games, or the fact that in the middle of the Lobster Quadrille, Gavin had got on bended knee and asked Mirana to marry him. She had gaped at him in shock, then shrieked "YES! YES!" in a very UnQueenly way before leaping into his arms for a rather passionate kiss.

Teresa and Lydia stumbled out of the Mirror three days later, exhausted but happy. Lydia grinned. "I can't believe Mirana's getting married in two weeks. I'm so glad she invited us. What are you going to do?"

Terri switched off her computer. "Sleep."