Two Ordinary, Hapless Souls

Somewhere in the restaurant, a baby cried. No one at the table knew where the sound came from and no one was bothered enough to find out. Momoi held a perfectly amicable conversation with Kise—their spat that centered around Kuroko long forgotten—; Akashi and Midorima discussed about shogi and Akashi's career as a professional shogi player; Murasakibara and Aomine talked about anything and nothing at all while Kuroko just sat quietly at his place, picking up bits and pieces from every conversation, content at being just the observer.

That is until a familiar voice travelled to his ears and Kuroko perked up. Turning around, he searched for the source of that very voice and sure enough, two familiar faces were seated just two tables away from him.

"Oh. Coach, Hyuuga-senpai."

Everyone stopped mid-speech to look at Kuroko, having just remembered his presence. Aomine was the first to follow his line of sight, and when Momoi noticed what it was that had Kuroko's attention, her face brightened and she waved "Riko! Hyuuga-san!"

Hyuuga Junpei's entire frame tensed, Riko's eyes widened. When Hyuuga turned around to find an entire table of Generation of Miracles staring at him, he nearly dislocated his jaw.

"Oh fuck me."

"Jun! Language!" Riko reprimanded tersely as a hand reflexively travelled up to the wailing baby boy in her arms, pushing his head into her shoulder, as if fearing the child might register the foul words uttered. Hyuuga buried his face into his hands.

Great. Just fucking brilliant.

"It's nice to see you, Hyuuga-senpai, coach." Kuroko stood next to Hyuuga and bow.

Hyuuga fell off his seat. "Yes, hello to you too, Kuroko." He replied as he struggled to get back up.

"How are you guys?" And Momoi's prancing over to them, arms wide open before throwing them around the other woman; Riko could only smile awkwardly. "Who is this little darling?" And now Momoi's holding onto his son and the baby squirmed against her chest. Hyuuga paled. And paled. And paled.

The next thing he knew, his baby was brought over to the Miracles' table and Hyuuga could only trail behind obediently, praying that he—and his baby boy that was now Momoi's hostage—will get out of this in one piece.

"Ah, Seirin's coach and former captain." Akashi greeted them with a small inclination of his head when he was near enough. Hyuuga tried not to grimace or shudder. Even after so many years, Akashi Seijuro's no different, still so scary, so intimidating. He shook Akashi's hand with much reluctance.

With the baby boy in her arms, Momoi flopped down to her seat beside Aomine. "Dai-chan, Dai-chan, look! Isn't this the most precious thing you have ever seen?" Her fiancé grunted back a reply, indifferent. But then the baby's innocent round eyes were glued onto Aomine and so he reached out a finger which the baby wrapped a small hand around, beaming a toothless grin. Aomine couldn't help the smile that crept onto his lips. Momoi twinkled with unabashed happiness.

"Riko-san, Hyuugacchi, it's nice see to see you again." Kise rose from his seat, a hand extended to shake Hyuuga's first then Riko's. By Kise's second year and Hyuuga's third, the latter was honoured with the prestigious '-cchi' suffix to his name, much to Hyuuga's chagrin. "Riko-san, you're very beautiful today."

Hyuuga growled as Riko's cheeks pinked. "Back off, Kise." And the blonde merely raised his palms in mock surrender. When she saw that no one's looking, Riko stuck an elbow into his gut.

"Hyuuga-san, why don't you guys join us?" Kuroko asked then turned expectantly to Akashi for his approval. Hyuuga prayed for a 'no'. But Akashi just stared at him, then at Riko and then at the baby still in Momoi's embrace, no longer wailing but gurgling with laughter.

"I don't see how there's a problem." He motioned for a waiter. "Two extra seats."

Then it was Hyuuga's turn to weep. But it didn't change the fact two minutes later a waiter pulled two chairs over to the Miracles' table and two new sets of cutlery were laid out for them and Hyuuga found himself seated next to Kise Ryouta while his wife sat across him. Momoi couldn't stop gushing and cooing over their son and Riko just complained about how many chores a baby brings—though not without glowing with pride.

"Can I take your order, sir?" A girl bounced—yes, bounced—over to them, her ponytail swinging from left to right and her smile wide enough for everyone to wonder if it was a permanent fixture. Hyuuga was quick to realise that the reason behind it was possibly because of a certain model sitting right beside him who just wouldn't stop throwing grins around carelessly like he didn't know the effect of them, dazzling the hearts of every woman or girl (except for two) in the room.

Hyuuga picked up the menu and gave it a scan. Kise leaned over to him. "You should give the duck confit a try. It's one of their specialties."

"Mm..." Came Hyuuga's reply, though he barely registered anything the blonde said. The pork knuckles seemed pretty good to him, but then he didn't quite feel like having anything so heavy; not to mention that Riko will probably stuff him with whatever leftover she'll have on her plate—which was usually half of her meal. His eyes moved to the pasta section.

"I'll have the smoked ham croissant," Riko said.

"Hyuugacchi, what about the shrimp linguine?" Kise shoved his finger over to the menu in Hyuuga's hands which caused him to click his tongue in annoyance. He smacked the finger away.

"For god's sake, let me decide in peace," Hyuuga snapped. Kise pouted, dejected. He snapped the menu shut, handing it back to the waitress. "Just get me the grilled salmon with lemon sauce, and please switch the fries to mashed potato. Thank you."

"Drinks?"

"Just water will do," Hyuuga replied, "for the both of us."

Right before the waitress walked away, she cast Kise a forlorn look which he replied with a brilliantly blinding grin. Poor girl nearly fainted. Riko and Hyuuga both rolled their eyes and the wife raised a bemused eyebrow.

"Still having trouble with the fangirls, Kise?" Riko picked up her glass and drank, watching him curiously.

"Fangirls?" Kise said before realization dawned. "Ah… They were never trouble to begin with, to be honest, but no. I haven't had fangirls in a while now. My wife saw to that."

And the water went splattering all over Hyuuga's face.

"W-w-wife? Kise you're married?!" As a reflex, her eyes shot to his left hand and sure enough, a silver band was wrapped around his fourth finger.

Kise grew excited within seconds. "Yes yes! Ooh, let me show you a photo of her!" Before Riko could even reply, Kise did a few quick swipes on his phone then it was thrust to her face. "Her name's Sakura and she's literally the loveliest woman to have walked this earth."

Hyuuga reached over to grab the phone from Riko for a look. "When was the wedding?" Riko asked.

Kise was still talking at a speed of five hundred words per second about how lovely, how sweet, how beautiful, how godly his wife is so Kuroko decided to do the explaining for him. "Kise-kun and Sakura-san were married in a private ceremony in Switzerland after they both graduated from college. None of us knew until he told us about it a month later."

Kise swooned. "It was love at first sight."

Riko was baffled. Who would have thought, the Kise Ryouta who had throngs of girls following his every move and also who Riko thought was quite possibly gay was actually married. Who would have thought that he would be the one in the bunch to marry his college girlfriend. Who would have thought that he was the first to tie the knot. Who would have thought, indeed.

"That's—pretty incredible. She seems lovely, so what's she like?"

Midorima, who had been rather quiet since the arrival of the Hyuuga family, was the first to speak. "Terrible."

Followed by Aomine. "A monster."

Akashi stirred his drink. "Bears the characteristics of a sociopath."

Murasakibara dumped the entire content into his black hole of a mouth then gave a loud crunch. "Evil."

"Scary." Kuroko tilted his head over to stare at Riko with his penetrating gaze. "Kind of like you, coach."

If Riko wasn't seated so far away from Kuroko, she would have punched him across his face. But since she was seated too far away to have any physical contact with him, she handed her baby over to Momoi and flung a fork in his direction—one which was swiftly avoided by an accurately timed lean to the right. "Is that supposed to mean something?!"

The baby began to cry and Riko regretted her actions almost immediately. Momoi handed the wailing child back to his mother and Kuroko just looked at her without saying another word. Kise frantically came to his wife's defense and Aomine didn't miss the chance to make matters worse by unleashing his assholery which gave Kise a very, very crimson face.

Midorima took this all in with a shake of his head. "They say that marriage brings maturity and sensibility, I see that's a lie."

Hyuuga scoffed and muttered, "It's not, the rule just doesn't apply to you lot." Which earned him a fry in the face from Aomine.

"Get off your high horse, Hyuuga," Aomine said, "are you still collecting warlord figures?"

"Dai-chan!" Momoi screeched in horror and began to pelt fists onto him. "For the love of god, manners!" But Aomine was already used to this so he yawned and let Momoi hit him. "Why are you so uncivilized?"

"Why are you so loud?" he countered.

And so Momoi began hitting him harder, all the while complaining how Aomine's the worst person ever while the man didn't even attempt to dodge her attacks and he wouldn't stop telling her that her fists won't even hurt a fly, so for the next five minutes all hell broke loose but no one at the Miracles' table could do anything because everyone knew that it would be a waste of energy to pull the two apart during an argument.

That is until a knife came flying towards their direction and swooshed past Aomine, missing him by a hair's breadth. The table grew silent, deadly so. He and Momoi stopped instantly and met with a pair of mismatched eyes. Akashi glared at them murderously.

"Stop being such embarrassments."

Murasakibara glanced at Akashi's clenched fists and then at the weapon lying on the floor before a waiter rushed over to pick it up, scared shitless. "Oh, Aka-chin. You didn't use your scissors?"

Akashi closed his eyes and composed himself by dusting imaginary lint off his impeccably-ironed coat. He picked at a crease on his sleeve and frowned. His wife won't be happy about that. "I disposed of them a while ago, Atsushi. Yan-Ling doesn't like to have them lying around the house and they cut my suits."

"Ah… The Chinese superstition about pregnant woman can't use scissors?" Akashi nodded. "I see."

From his shirt pocket, Midorima pulled out a pair of scissors and made three quick snipping motions. "You could have used mine. They're Cancers' lucky item for today." Hyuuga swears he saw a malicious glint flashed past Midorima's eyes.

Aomine grunted. "No wonder you're still single." Earning him three less-than-amused glares fixed onto him. Momoi, Midorima and Akashi were not impressed. His fiancée elbowed him in the chest.

"Daiki, be quiet," Akashi ordered. Reluctantly, Aomine did as he was told, not wanting to bring forth any more of Akashi's deadly wraths. Akashi looked at Midorima. "Thank you, Shintarou, but that's all right."

Midorima nodded but made a face when he felt a sharp pain up his leg. He glared at Aomine. "Did you just kick me?" Aomine shrugged, neither denying nor admitting, but his expression was smug enough that everyone at the table knew he was the culprit. Cue group eyeroll.

"Dai-chan! Be nice!" Momoi aimed a kick at his ankle and it was right on target. Aomine Daiki howled. Hearing his piercingly loud cry, the baby began to cry, again. Riko was then thrown into a flurry as she futilely tried to calm her son down by peppering kisses all over his small face, petting him on the back, all the while muttering how she was going to make that stupid moron Aomine Daiki suffer.

Hyuuga buried his face in his hand. "We could have had lunch anywhere. We could have gone to a nice, quiet, Generation of Miracles-free restaurant. Why did I listen to you? Why didn't we just stay at my parents instead? Why did we leave the house this morning? Why of all places available, did you choose here?"

Riko simply rolled her eyes and handed her screaming son over to his father. "Take him. He likes you better."

Yes I do realise that this deserves PLENTY of eye-rolling.