Right Here Waiting For You
(John Barrowman)
Ianto sat on a train staring glumly out of the window. He saw the blur of green countryside passing by but mainly he saw his own reflection staring back at himself. His gaze rose a little higher and he admired the soft pink haze the setting sun had left on the white fluffy clouds, which had been strewn across the soft blue blanket of sky. Once again he caught his own pale blue eyes staring back at himself and noticed they were welling with water. Further back in the distant reflection Ianto noticed other passengers looking out the window on the opposite side of the train, the backs of their heads refusing to turn around and catch his gaze.
With no one opposite him Ianto continued to stare out of his own window and now lent his head back on the headrest, tears starting to roll, but no one around him noticing. He thought of his distant lover, oceans apart, each day passing unnoticed into the next, becoming a blur like the scenery passing Ianto now. Ianto could feel his head reeling with the loss, he needed the contact, the comfort; he needed Jack beside him. A phone call-even if there was one-would not be good enough. Besides Ianto knew he would never have Jack forever, it almost was not worth it. However Ianto did know he would be there for Jack as long as he needed, even if Jack thought otherwise. Truth was Ianto needed Jack and he also knew he would always be waiting for Jack and that he probably would never come.
Ianto knew what it was like, how you appreciate things more when you don't have them. Now, away from Jack, Ianto realised how lucky he was to have him and also how much he truly loved him, how although he was one of the many lovers and friends of the great Captain Jack Harkness, he was at least one in the hundreds. But it was hard at times; Ianto often felt he was just the one in a hundred, pushed aside like a shifting pile of dust.
Jack would look at him and see nothing or even worse, look right through him. It had Ianto going crazy, he wanted to shout out that he was there and he also had a heart that needed some love. Instead Ianto just kept waiting right there, taking all the blows and knocks in the meantime. Waiting for his turn.
Taking in the scenery again Ianto saw the rolling green hills and how they rode on the surface of the Earth. Ianto thought how he had survived Jack's bumpy life and he realised he was one of those mere little blades of grass that were clinging on to the wild rolling hills. And then he thought again, he was surviving and he got to see Jack pretty much every day, what more could he ask for?