A/N: Thanks to Vilannh who helped me with this ;)

Thanks to all who reviewed: erin1705, nordiclover, TMart37, Chickiesmom, Loving the Viking, livesimple, cybercyclone, MerryCain, VAlady, and AlwaysMazzy… ya'll are the best!

Mini Disclaimer: Charlaine Harris owns them

Rated M for Adult content

Eric in Pastels?

EPOV

"How about this Honey?" she asked.

"It's pink." I grunted.

"No it's not, its salmon and I think it looks great against your skin and brings out your eyes." She said.

"I am perfectly capable of picking my own attire, Lover." I say dryly.

"Humor me, will ya?" she asks and I suppressed a sigh. "Ooh, this is pretty it matches your shirt. Here honey, hold this for me will you?" she finishes as she hands me her purse and walks away. I suppress a growl.

Pam usually takes my Sookie shopping, but being the dutiful husband I accompanied her and this is the thanks I get.

The next night we went to dinner with Pam and Amelia at the farmhouse. Sookie insisted I wear the retched shirt with a pair of black Diesel jeans. She wore the dress she bought to match.

"Eric!" Pam's eyes almost burst from the sockets. "I didn't think I could ever be more proud of my Maker." Pam said in her sarcastic tone with a shit eating grin. I just glare at my child. "What? It's about damn time you learned the colors of the rainbow."

"Sookie's choice… not mine." I say flatly.

"Oh, I see. Finally letting the little woman dress you." she smirks.

"Shut it Pam, do not start with me." I say in a low growl and she chuckles. Infuriating Child!

"Alright ya'll dinner's ready!" my "infuriating wife" calls out from the kitchen.

The next week when I rise to shower then dress…

"What the fuck is this?" I hiss walking in my closet finding more light colored Polo shirts in my wardrobe. I pick one out to please my wife and put it on. The turquoise 'to go with your eyes' her note read. I make my way out to the kitchen.

"Hi, Honey! Wow you look great!" she kisses me. I feel her surprise and amusement through the bond.

"Thanks." I sulk. Keep the wife happy… keep the wife happy… I chant.

For the next few days I begrudgingly wore some of the wife's choices of my clothing.

The end of that week… I walk into my closet to find my entire wardrobe has been replaced with light colored Polo shirts and pressed Khakis… 'Time to pull the 'Master' card, this will not continue.'

"Sookie?" I enter the kitchen trying to hold in my irritation.

"Yes, honey?" she asks looking up from her book.

"This is beyond insanity. I've been patient with your choice of clothing, but…?" I ask calmly.

"What the heck are you talking about, Eric?" she interrupts with a confused frown.

"Why do I get the feeling you are trying to turn me into Bill?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

"Well now you're just being insane and I don't appreciate you bring up Bill, when I have no clue what you are even talking about!" She snaps. I pick her up and fly her to my closet.

"This, this, this… all this?" I ask ripping every piece to shreds.

"Umm, I'm still not following you, Honey." She laughs. My mind clicks.

"PAM!" I roar.

.

A/N: That Pam! Such a naughty Child… She just loves to piss off Mommy and Daddy, doesn't she? Boy does she hold a grudge ;) LOL!

P.S. I'm not married so, if you can think of something you'd like to see Eric and Sookie argue about let me know!

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