A/N: One night while chatting with Vilannh I mentioned that two of my lovely daughter's spelling words for this week are PAM and SAM and this idea was born between us. Hope ya'll laugh as hard as we did writing it… Enjoy! – Viktoria & Vilannh.

Thanks to all who reviewed last chapter… ILoveVikings, vilannh, TMart37, erin1705, VampiresAllTheWay1, livesimple, MsEllie, Loving the Viking, and VAlady… ya'll are awesome!

Mini Disclaimer: Charlaine owns them, not us ;)

Rated M Adult Language

Vampire = V A M P I R E

GPOV

"Everyone… thank you for being here on short notice. Sookie." Eric greets everyone then waves Sookie to take the floor.

"Hey ya'll." They all mumble their hellos not knowing what they were there for. "The AVL charge Eric and I to get volunteers in our area for a Charity Spelling Bee. Nan thought after the Russell thing that, it would be good press to raise money for homeless kids. We need all of you to be volunteers." asks Sookie.

"A what?" Pam said with a raised eyebrow.

"A Spelling Bee, it's a competition where each person gets a word and you have to spell it out. Whoever gets the most correct at the end wins." Sookie explains.

"Yes I have seen this before. On ESPN it comes on after cheerleading competition. Tiny breathers try to prove their intelligence. I myself prefer cheerleaders. Yum." Pam says.

"You can count me out." Sam says.

"Me too." Amelia said.

"Yeah, why us anyways? The AVL is a Vamp organization." Alcide said gesturing to the non-vamps present.

"Well duh… but they don't know about shifters and weres yet, ya'll can be humans you know… good Human/Vamp relations." Sookie replies to Alcide.

"Well you can certainly count me out." Pam says in her bored tone.

"Pam, come on!" Sookie looked at the other Vampires with a pointed look then back to Pam to show support.

"What? You did say volunteer, am I right? Do you need the definition of the word?" Pam deadpans arms crossed.

Sookie looks at her disappointed. Pam rolls her eyes. Then Sookie looks to everyone else. Not one person says anything, they just all stare blankly at Sookie.

"Awww come on ya'll it's for Homeless Kids!" Sookie says flabbergasted.

"Oh alright." Amelia says.

"I guess I'll do it." Sam seconds.

"Yeah count me in." Alcide follows dejected.

Sookie raises an eyebrow to all the Vampires present… Pam, Thalia, Clancy, Indira, Maxwell, and Felicia. She looks back to Eric for help. He chuckles at all the Vampires that are stunned into silence not one of them wants to do this.

"I know this may all be ridiculous to all of you, but I ask that you all do this. Don't make me pull rank." Eric says struggling to hold in his amusement.

"Yes Sheriff" they all said in unison.

The day… err… night of the Spelling bee….

"Thank you all for coming on this splendid evening for Charity. Let's give a round of applause for our contestants…" the emcee says doing a game show wave to everyone. "Our first contestant is Sookie, Sookie please." he says as he gestures Sookie to the microphone. With her brightest southern belle smile she approaches. "Sookie your first word is… Vampire." She chokes on a laugh.

"Okay… Vampire… V A M P I R E… Vampire" she says.

"That is correct." The emcee smiles. She curtsies and goes back to her chair. "Amelia, please." He gestures to her "Amelia your word is Prudish." He says and Amelia's brows furrow.

"That's sounds familiar to me, but can you use it in a sentence please." Amelia asks, before the emcee could answer Pam mumbles.

"Before Sookie met Eric she was extremely prudish." Chuckles insue from everyone. Sookie cuts Pam a glare. Amelia laughs out loud.

"Oh okay never mind, Prudish… P R U D I S H… prudish." She finishes.

"That is correct." The emcee smiles. "Felicia your word is Sun." Felicia looks at Eric unbelieving. He clears his throat and nods, then lower his head to hide his smile.

"Sun… S U N… sun…" she says at Vamp speed she is back in her seat.

"Tha…" the emcee started looking up to an empty mic. "Alright Maxwell your word is Accountant." At this point everyone is glaring at Sookie.

"Accountant… A C C O U N T A N T… accountant." He huffs and sits.

"Very good… Thalia your word is… Happy." He says. Thalia begrudgingly got up mumbling.

"I will be happy to drain every one of you dry…" while everyone erupts in laughter she says "Happy… H A P P Y… happy… now fuck off." She says then scowls at everyone laughing.

"Ah hem…" the emcee clears his throat to restore order "Alcide your word is Rabbit." The emcee smiles, while everyone still struggling to hold their laughter.

"This is just stupid." Alcide mumbles as he stands, then finishes "Rabbit… R A B B I T… rabbit…" he turns to sit.

"What the fuck does he think we are morons?" Pam hisses at Sookie.

"Don't look at me, I was just suppose to get ya'll here." Sookie whispers in her defense chagrined.

"Clancy your word is…" before the emcee could finish.

"Asshole" Pam interrupts.

"Please, Ms. Ravenscroft there are children present?" the emcee chides.

"And your point is?" she deadpans. He ignores her remark and continues.

"Clancy your word is Rainbow." The emcee looks to Clancy and he returns his look with a sneer.

"Rainbow… R A I N B O W… rainbow." Clancy says turns to sit.

"Oh look at that he does have a brain." Pam chuckles and he flips her off.

"Eric your word is Salacious." Eric stands too his full height and struts to the mic oozing the very definition of the word.

"Salacious… what a fitting description… S A L A C I O U S… salacious." He preens. Pam makes a gagging noise. Everyone stifles a chuckle as he glares back at her.

"Correct, thank you Mr. Northman." The emcee smiles at him little bit too lustful to Sookie's liking. "Indria your word is Fancy." He says as Indira smiles sweetly at the crowd.

"Fancy… F A N C Y… fancy." She says gives a slight bow and walks back to take her seat.

"Thank you Indira. Sam your word is Dog." The emcee says looking confused as laughter erupts again. Sam standing at half mast gapping at him… while Sookie nudging him to go as she holds in hers. "Do you need that in a sentence?" he asks Sam.

"I think I got it, thanks." Sam replies sarcastically "Dog… D O G… dog." He glares at everyone as he sits.

"This is ridiculous can he spell imbecile?" what language would you like that... dåre, imbécil, hülye, or just plain F U C K W A D." she spat at the emcee. "Stupid breather."

"Ms. Ravenscroft your word is Human." he looked at Pam upset for all her disruptions. She walks up to the mic with a superior smirk.

"Human… B L O O D B A G… human." she answered the judge stood there with his mouth hanging open. "Would you like me to use it in a sentence?" she says and in a flash she's at the emcees throat with her fangs down, then bites. "My what a delicious BloodBag." She said licking her lips after draining the emcee.

A/N: ROFLMFAO! So what do you think? Funny? Yes?

REVIEW PLEASE! - This was meant to be funny ya'll - I know it was bad that Pam drained the guy especially for an AVL sponsored event, but come on it was just too good to pass up ;) -Viktoria