Descendant Friendly (Part Two): Friendship Drift!
There is only one banisher of the good...
"What is this mansion?" Rarity wanted to know the properties of her temporary property as she looked around the mansion they entered.
"Wow, what a place!" Pinkie placed her claims as she ran around the entire mansion that had a chance of being the place that housed their missing friends. It had two stories with the first story having a room on the left and a room on the right, a staircase bridging to a northeastern room and a northwestern room, a dining room, a bathroom, and things that were hard to describe. "It's a two story house with a kitchen, a restroom, miscellaneous objects, and it probably has our friends in it! This mansion's already even better than I expected!"
"You're a very good critic Pinkie Pie," Rarity thought about far more elaborate remarks she could've made about her disappointment with the mansion, "You said very little about this place, and yet you actually said a lot in such a scrumptiously succinct summary."
"I knew the quiet ones were always the ones with the most potential!" Pinkie Pie would continue the lack of description that described truth for the rest of her life. "And now I know that I have the potential to find our friends easily!"
"There's something even more wrong with this place than its picture to the creative mind..." Rarity thought about what was missing, as she thought about what she would do with this much space. "Where's Rainbow Dash and that filly of a chicken that deserves to be nothing more than a filet?!"
"I will fill it in for the sake of the void if I can do it..." said a familiar voice that was not reminiscient of someone who lied to their family, but of a friend...Fluttershy, standing at the top of the stairs! Rarity was confused by Fluttershy's unexpected visit as she and Pinkie climbed the staircase and an aroma of vegetables filled the air...
"It's good to see that you're alive Fluttershy," said Rarity, "but I wanted to know where Rainbow Dash was...and where that smell is coming from..."
"Don't be so rude Rarity, she just went behind her back!" Pinkie Pie turned Fluttershy around to reveal that Rainbow Dash was attached to Fluttershy's back with her zombie wings feeding off of Fluttershy's wings.
"..." Rainbow Dash said nothing in this state.
"Fluttershy!" gasped Rarity like a pilot on a highjacked plane who meant no ill will in trying to save his own hide. "For someone who's apparently never been schooled in classic horror, you sure act like a bipolar chemist! Why are you letting yourself get bitten by a zombie, you'll turn into one to!"
"Yeah Fluttershy, use your brain!" Pinkie Pie promoted a proper response to the permitted attack on Fluttershy. "Unless...you're a zombie too! Is it true? Did you betray us to any EVIL zombies? Who have you revealed this conjecture to besides us?!"
"If I am a zombie, I'm certainly conscious of it now," Fluttershy gave them the courtesy of being self-aware that she lacked mental energy in response to their accusations. "But I'm definitely on your guys' side, you're my friends. For some reason, the zombies in this place really like me. They're really shy and never come out of their resting places, but they won't hurt you guys anyways as long as you smell nice..."
"Wait...there's more zombies?!" Rarity yelled. "Oh, why is death so contagious..."
"Called it!" Pinkie Pie remembered her theory from earlier. "It's a zombie apocalypse in a mansion on a farm! And the best part is, our friends were all left behind in it to play!"
"Wait a minute..." Rarity waited as to not let the madness continue. "I don't just find it suspicious that there are no zombies wandering around this mansion during a zombie apocalypse...I also find it suspicious that a pony auspicious in the vicious dishing out of true wishes, would be able to grant a simple wish to her friends such as keeping them safe. Where are Applejack and Twilight?"
"Applejack told me that she would be in her room taking a nap, and Twilight told me she would be studying in what was her studial secret laboratory at one point." Fluttershy explained to them how Applejack and Twilight were able to discover such comfort in a place they should have never visited before, like a radio message that didn't gain any active attention from people who liked tropes and not being bored. "This place is crazy in how lovable it is!"
"I agree!" Pinkie Pie cheered, as she quite liked the terms of the great service she had already gotten from spending so little time in the mansion already. "Our friends are safe, so we can do whatever we want! The only thing better than the terms of service here is an air conditioner combined with my hair conditioner!"
"YEAH! YEAH!" the two did the chicken can-can dance, as even the harum did not lead to stuttering or second thoughts...except in conditions of Rarity.
"Something just feels wrong..." thought Rarity, "we're in a shin-quivering situation in this sham of a mansion stranded in the middle of nowhere, there's supposed to have been a zombie apocalypse, and life is crazy! Why is Fluttershy not getting the feeling that something isn't right?! She's feeling something down in her heart that she doesn't want me to find out, I know it!"
"Wait!" Fluttershy ruined the song and dance by making a pause in the rhythm. "Oh no, where is the luxurious deliciousness I was supposed to wish and confirm upon the food in the dining room?!"
"It was probably stolen!" Pinkie put the silliness on the ice temporarily with haste. "We need to find our taste in good pleasures quickly! Come on Rarity, according to the terms of translating that to your superior linguistic language, we need to go to the dining room!"
"Fine, I'll play along and help you goons smother your macaroons," Rarity wailed like an ant on a picnic with Mr. Smith's raccoon.
Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy ran and leaped down the stairs with fast unfamished ambition, as Rarity waltzed down the stairs in proper dance like a vigilant gentlemanmare until the entire trio had reached the dining room. Both Rarity and Pinkie Pie were surprised to see that the dining room contained no table, no paintings on the wall, and no food, though on the floor there was a sharp knife, an interesting spread of butter, jam, artificial preservatives, and a small enigmatic bottle of vegetable spray perfume.
"This is the most tasteful place in the entire mansion," the humble Fluttershy's description was more accurate than anypony's current interpretation. "It's where all my friends are put on the choo-choo trains and the planes on the road again to meet their true purpose in life..."
"What, is this supposed to be a dining room?" this time, the unimpressed Rarity was once again not impressed with what could be seen like a pessimist. "There's no other ponies, art, or dignity, because they don't even exist in a form! There can't be any color or personality if it doesn't exist, it's so gray!"
"What, is this supposed to be a disappointment?" Pinkie Pie was (like always) delighted that the thing she was expecting to enjoy wasn't perfect, and just really fun with a lot of flaws like she expected as an optimist. "There's good people, Rarity and Fluttershy are my kind of people even though they're ponies, the fact that there's no art lets you enjoy the scenery, and the color and personality of the place has an exuberant personality! It's so roaringly happy!"
"I'm glad to see that you like it Pinkie Pie..." Fluttershy knew now that Pinkie Pie would eventually like what had to be done. "I know that you also like breakfast...and toast."
"Oh yes, I love toast!" Pinkie Pie said in tangent. "It's bred from bread (one of my favorite foods), and it's also something you get after you've gotten up at eight o' clock in a tan!"
"Well if you love getting toasted, you're going to need armor!" Fluttershy had Pinkie hold out her arm as she prepared the protection by preparing the buttered steak knife in the spread and spread the butter all over Pinkie Pie.
"Hey, why are you doing this?" rebutted the buttery Pinkie, still having some iron in her thought process. "Did I say something that offended bread? Are you trying to make me more empathetic?"
"Don't worry, the zombies aren't going to make you burst into flames!" Fluttershy debunked a scientific impossibility with mythological logic. "But for your own sake, I want you to smell nice!"
"Oh, good thinking, what if we encountered some carnivorous monster in here besides the zombies?!" Pinkie Pie thought about being courteous as to smell good after being attacked by the evil. "If I smelled bad, I don't think I'd want to survive being burned, I wouldn't want to go out any other way."
"Well, there's no other way for me..." Rarity declined even with her lack of options, as she knew for sure that Fluttershy had betrayed the police now. "You may have buttered Pinkie up, but there is no way you're pulling me into this jam!"
"It's alright Rarity, I'm not going to force you to accept my methods to alleviate your trouble," Fluttershy was as accepting of variegated opinions on life choices as she was with opinions on music. "The zombies will be down here in the dining room any minute, so you can prepare yourself for imminent danger any way you want."
"Wait..." Rarity didn't stall her change of mood. "So you're saying that you're not going to make me get wet and sticky? As in...you're not going to make me get myself dirty?"
"Of course not," Fluttershy didn't suck up to her in a way that could be felt easily. "You can coat and cover yourself any way you choose, as long as you remember to stay tasteful!"
"Yeah," the sticky Pinkie tried to make the conversation flow better as Fluttershy jammed her productively with the viscous solid, "it's not like we're going to get all fruity on you, we'll always be friends just the way we are!"
"Yes..." Rarity said with a twisted smile, as her friendship with Pinkie Pie had been twisted into something else long ago that she was now satisfied with. "I love being friends with you just the way we are...I'm going to go see if I can help my other friends, by waking them up and seeing if they're out of the laboratory yet of course! Just promise me you guys won't WASTE your lives while I'm gone!"
"We promise we won't be a waste of your time while you're not here!" Pinkie Pie was everywhere on Rarity's desire, even though that's not what Rarity really wanted. What she really wanted was the vile of vegetable spray that she grabbed and slipped in her pocket...
"You're not going to stick around?" Fluttershy was confused as to why Rarity didn't want to stick around even though she wasn't going to be jammed. "One of them is going to come down any minute for a midnight snack."
"No, I think a snacking young chop like Pinkie would be more sociable and feel more pulled into the words that could come out of their mouths..." Rarity imagined how easy the conversation would be to indulge in as she opened the door to the dining room and stepped out. "I don't even think they'd even bother to flesh out what they want to say with a boring old vegetarian like me...or an easy to make complacent herbivore like you."
"Herbivore?" Fluttershy pondered as Rarity left the dining room. "Oh no...what have I done to my own kind?"
Rarity was in her joyfully alert mind as she drunk her assured triumph. She then sprayed herself with sunflower extract spray which sprinkled in all sorts of directions on the horse who could not be swayed.
"It's so good to say what is on your mind," Rarity allayed herself as she made her way up the stairway, armed with the source of Fluttershy's veggie aroma from earlier. "Especially if it's your enemy's secrets being relayed! While those two are fooling around in the kitchen, I'll sneak upstairs and search for clues to convict that convoluting trickster Fluttershy of her treachery!"
Rarity also took a stick of gum that she had stored in her battering stick holster in case her breath began to stink and began to chew it like a goat would eat pancake mix on oatmeal day.
"And if there actually are zombies in this mansion aside from Dash's wings and that nuisance of a chicken, then good..." Rarity finally got to chew the bubblegum in a manner that reminded her of Pinkie's demise. *"Pinkie Pie went unpunished for the crime of allowing those spirits to invade Equestria for far too long!* Those zombies are going to chew that bubblegum colored freak of gray nature, and she is finally going to pay for her sins quarterfold! Her death will also be proof that Fluttershy is working for the zombies, and the zombies won't particularly like eating an herb evicting mouth-sore like me, giving me the opportunity to slip by them and give Fluttershy a pink slip that'll fire her from every work she's doing..."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: *You must analyze the reading of Celestia's Story Spirit if you want to understand what Rarity means*
"Breaking the fourth wall from the left..." Rarity grinded and swallowed the gum as she went to upstairs room on the left. "If only your punishers had four stomachs Pinkie..."
As Rarity thought about the amount and the kind of acid it would take to torment a creature such as Pinkie Pie, the door opened and a corroded creature appeared...it was a now part-zombie Applejack wearing pajamas!
"What the...Applejack, you're alive?!" Rarity jumped back in shock as she noticed that Applejack was alive, but not in one piece as the left side of her body was a zombie. "But you're a mere part of your former self...that means that there is a zombie apocalypse!"
"Ooooooooohhhhhhhhh..." Applejack moaned and groaned now that she was a ghost of her former self. "Must feed the brains..."
"Just calm your nerves..." Rarity lost her appetite out of fear, but not her mind as Applejack shut the bedroom door. "Thanks to the scent of that spray, I'm just veggies to her, and I'm also her pal! She won't hurt me..."
Rarity's analysis was spot-on, but it also put a spot on her record of good judgement. Applejack's right pony side recognized Rarity's face, but her left zombie side smelled the aroma of the vegetable spray around Rarity and viewed her as a vegetable.
"Vegetable...beautiful...vegetable friend..." Applejack's mouth watered as she embraced Rarity like she would something that couldn't find the root of what she was doing.
"What...what are you...AAAAAHHHHH!" Rarity couldn't ask what Applejack was doing, for she was cut off by her own scream from Applejack biting into her left arm and turning it into a zombie.
"Police pony came today..." Applejack gave her teeth a rest from resting in Rarity's soldier to speak as Rarity took the opportunity to shove her off. "Beautiful face gave me orders so get a rest with her...get rest then tasty...rest...make tasty..."
"No...I'll never rest with you...YOU WON'T MAKE ME INTO A MORSEL AT A FUNERAL!" Rarity pulled out her gun and shot Applejack in the head several times, and then tried to hit her in the head with her police club, but Applejack was undeterred. She tried to search her pockets for her knife, but it was missing, so she had to forget the graveyard as she gave up on life. There was only thing left to do...
"AAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!" Rarity screamed, shutting her eyes and sitting up on her four legs to represent that even though she was going to die a cowardly death, she would have stood against trouble with all arms, even if it couldn't be seen. Things only got worse for Rarity though when Applejack came towards her and accidentally stabbed herself in the heart on Rarity's horn, which was sharper than a dull pencil whose dull side was worn out from being chewed, bent, and having to erase things.
"Ooooohhhhh...taste makes hurt...not once...but twice..." Applejack got a taste of her own injury again, as her heart was not broken but stabbed. Her heart was stuck to Rarity's horn and spraying little poison arrows of blood on Rarity's eyes, as she opened them to give a final heartless glare as she died, but she was too late.
"No, it's already happened, I'm dead!" Rarity saw her own death with her blood-shot bloodshot eyes as her red retinas were filled with redness. "This is what death feels like, MY BLOOD CRIES OUT TO ME FROM THE GROUND AND ALL OF MYSELF!"
Rarity ran around the hall screaming with Applejack spilling blood over all of the mansion's floor, and eventually ran into the closed door like a hemophilia-inflicted vampire who saved his friends from being crushed by a wall of flesh, but couldn't reflect the power of friendship in times of good weather.
"I have never felt so physically dead..." Rarity couldn't spend one more minute with a broken heart as her friend's heart spilled the last of its blood on her. "I feel...warm."
All the bloodshed on Rarity's skin she couldn't see and on her eyes made her feel hotter than she normally is in her own view. She fell unconscious as a figure walked up the stairs and loomed over the sight.
Later that alternate sight...
Later in the night, an alternate sight could be seen in the eyes of the awoken Rarity...all sorts of varieties of frozen meat around her.
"No...no...it can't be..." Rarity whimpered as she couldn't move her arms and legs under all the meat that was on them. "That zombie was a serial killer!"
"Serial killer?!" laughed a familiar voice that was revealed to belong to Pinkie Pie as she pulled the meat from Rarity's skin. "There's no serial killer Rarity, the only victims of Applejack getting up from a nap were the numbers of meat we had to use to preserve you properly so that you wouldn't get attacked by a zombie again!"
"Again?!" Rarity snapped, realizing that she was lying down in the main hall back from where she and Pinkie first started in the mansion. "I wouldn't have gotten attacked for the first time if you had just come to my rescue! There were gunshots, sounds of screaming and violence, and a sweet, innocent mare who thought she was the victim of it all! Why didn't you or Fluttershy come to help me?!"
"We did, just after it all happened!" proclaimed Pinkie Pie, proud of how she and Fluttershy had helped their friend. "You see, Fluttershy thought that the reason you were screaming so loud was because you were being eaten by a zombie, so when the screaming stopped and you were eaten, she was going to use the leftover remnants of what was left of you to make you into something tasty so that you would recover happy! And don't even get me started on how relieved she was when she saw how much meat you still were!"
"So that's it..." Rarity discovered the source of Fluttershy's betrayal. "Fluttershy is in this evil plot out of some sick twisted love for my looks...for my appearances in both playing along and carrying out her plans! Well I know just how to play along and carry things out with that serial killer now..."
"Come on Rarity, I know Fluttershy's acting weird, but she's not a serial killer!" Pinkie Pie stood up for Fluttershy. "If she was, I would be a lot angrier right now, because I am the indispensable captain of crunching numbers! Not to mention my ancestors were really nice pirates!"
Just then, Fluttershy came downstairs from the northeastern second floor room singing a tune. She no longer had the horrified-to-stoicism Rainbow Dash gnawing on her wings with her zombie wings, her wings were now bone wings completely deprived of flesh and blood, and she was holding a grilled aquamarine cheese sandwich on a paper plate.
"Send the witch! Send the witch! Staker's favorite man!
Sand me that witch as fast as you can!
Burn her, and roast her, and toast her with glee!
Then put some sandpaper on her post for RD and me!" is what the happy pegasus sang as she came down the stairs and met her friends. "Hi guys! We're back, and Rainbow Dash is cured of her zombie wings now! All I had to do was my job, I made her into a yummy sandwich!"
"Wow Fluttershy, that's very scrumptious!" Rarity played along when Fluttershy showed her the Rainbow Dash sandwich that was appealing in the way that it oozed goo, reminding her of crushed tuna, crushed eggs, and crushed jam. "Rainbow Dash looks so good, I'm not even going to ask where she is!"
"Wait...what happened to your wings?!" Pinkie Pie was suspicious as she saw the sandwich and Fluttershy's bony wings. "What happened to Rainbow Dash?!"
"She's a sandwich Pinkie!" Fluttershy was proud of her work. "I went to the right wing of the second floor to see if there was any medicine in my refrigerator of household appliances that would cure Rainbow Dash without amputation, but the problem worked itself out when Rainbow Dash got off my back and set off a trap in the living room of the right wing! For some reason, she grabbed a shotgun from the fridge, and when she went into the living room and turned the lights off the ceiling fell and turned her into a Rainbow Dash sandwich! All I had to do was wrap her in grass, give her to my friends, put her in bread, and fry her to fulfill her memento's wish!"
"Wait...that's no way to make a pony into a sandwich, Fluttershy!" Pinkie made an objection. "That way will kill you! Why are you not telling us the truth about Rainbow Dash, we're friends! Rarity, even you have to back me up on this one!"
"Don't listen to Pinkie, Fluttershy, she's just jealous!" Rarity knew that envy was very dangerous even out of concern. "But I'm not...because I know I'm better than you even though you're brilliant at deceiving people!"
"Um...thank you!" Fluttershy felt bad for being good. "And Pinkie, I was just..."
"Your talent is unrivaled...in a way that turns me on!" Rarity's words were very true as she tried to trick Fluttershy. "Why don't we go to where Applejack died and take the safety off our scissors..."
Fluttershy dropped the plate and the sandwich as everypony was silent, like the number one when it found out that no one existed other than him on a top five.
"Rarity, have you boiled your brain and lost your favorite brand of cocoa mix?!" Pinkie wondered. "Running with unsafe scissors in a zombie apocalypse is not safe!"
"Uh...Rarity, are you okay?" Fluttershy asked. "Maybe burying you in meat to cure that zombie arm had side effects..."
"Oh, I'll bury you in meat..." Rarity paused and took a look at her arm. "Hey, wait a..."
Fluttershy was right...her arm was no longer a zombie from Applejack's bite...and from the way she was acting despite just playing along made it certain that there were side effects.
Uh heh heh..." Rarity chuckled nervously. "Sorry...what I meant was, do you want to go to Applejack's bedroom and get undressed if you know what I mean?"
"That sounds wonderful!" Fluttershy thought that was a far more reasonable request. "I want to get out of this sweaty police uniform! Hey Pinkie, can you please watch Rainbow Dash while we're gone?"
"On the life of a panicking tree's lute..." Pinkie got serious as she grabbed the sandwich off the floor, feeling something wasn't right.
"Heh heh heh..." Rarity thought with a laugh as she and Fluttershy went upstairs to Applejack's room laughing together. "Looks like you're going down first after all Fluttershy..."
"Rarity has never acted this weird before...not even that one time when I put candy bells in her chocolate cake!" Pinkie Pie had not even begun to laugh, as a conflict was about to begin. "I'm going to get down to the root of this if it's the last thing I do!"
Pinkie Pie took a bite of the sandwich in lieu of her new serious attitude, and got a goofily delighted grin on her face.
"Hey, this is really amazing!" she shouted, having no idea.
Rarity and Pinkie Pie had their own plans now
But escaping from the mansion, they did not know how
Even though they think they know what to do
They do not realize that they are on the path to Nomu
The two are soon to be in two.
The Ending of Part Two.