Author's Note: Just a little something before the chapter... I received a review from a Guest (I'm sorry, but I cannot directly answer to Guests reviews!) where the reviewer noticed I re-wrote episode 1 in Eun Soo's point of view without really adding anything new. That's true. I thought I made it pretty clear in the introduction of the first chapter, but let's say it again!
Yes, this is a rewriting of the drama in Eun Soo's point of view. In this fic, there won't be new events. The story will be the one we all watched. What I want to do is write it using Eun Soo's eyes. There were parts of the drama where she just disappeared and we didn't know what she was doing or thinking. Her state of mind, her thoughts, were never clearly explained. I just want to try to fill in the blanks. So, it can happen (it will happen) that I write something we didn't see in the drama, like I did with the phone call with her parents, or the first part of the convention, or her walk in the forest to reach the inn and cure the Queen.
Nothing of the "new" events will change the storyline though. This is not an AU, this is canon. I will just add parts where I feel there are blanks to fill.
For new events, I have another long fic in mind, about what happened to Eun Soo and Choi Young after the drama ended, but I'm not going to write it until this one is done.
I hope now I explained better what I want to do with this story :)
Also, to Lauren: yes, I'm trying to stay true to the dialogues and the acting. This is also part of the reason it takes me so long to write a chapter... I'm writing with the episode in the background and I frequently read what I wrote while looking at the characters, so that I can confirm that their expression matches what I wrote :)
And now, the third chapter! This is a long one as I covered the rest of episode 2. At this point I'm not sure I'll stick to the one episode-one chapter rule. I feel the chapters are way too long.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Waking up in the morning I was feeling much better. I wasn't exhausted anymore and now that the sun was high in the sky I was much more optimistic. I got up and stretched, wishing I could have something to wash with. Then I recalled I had some moist tissues and a hairbrush in my bag and I lit up: at least I could refresh myself and comb my hair!
Looking for the tissues my hands touched my cellphone and I took it out, quickly looking at the door. I could hear no footsteps outside, so maybe I had enough time to try making a quick call for help. How silly of them not to take my phone!
Turning it on though, my face fell down. No signal. No signal? What kind of movie set had no signal? I walked all the room up and down trying to get one, but it was useless. Well, at least now I knew why they didn't bother to take the phone... not even the 3G was working. There went my idea of calling for help.
I sat down slightly depressed just as a girl came in the room, bringing tea. Was she a waitress? Maybe I could ask her then! Waitresses never earn that much money and I thought she could welcome something extra.
"Excuse me..." I tried with a smile when she poured me a cup of tea. "Can you help me to leave here?"
I got my wallet, showing her the money I had. Not that much to be honest, but if only there was an ATM near... the girl ignored me, tidying up the room. I recognized her, it was the same one of the night before: she always stayed by me while I was taking care of the wounded actress, so at least she wasn't a completely new face.
I raised the stake. "50.000?"
She ignored me again.
"1.000.000?"
Now she looked at me. Well, that was something at least. I was hoping she would pity me, but it looked like she perfectly understood the situation: I needed to get out of there and she was the only one who could help me. Of course she was trying to get as much as she could. And it looked like 1.000.000 won was just the starting point of our bargaining.
When she turned around again, I sighed. More than 1.000.000 won would have been difficult for me. My house was sucking up all my money right now, and it wasn't even that big. Well, maybe if I asked for a little loan...
"2.000.000!"
That got her attention. 2.000.000 won were very nice money after all. She turned around with a smile and unlocked the window without a word. Finally!
I immediately sneaked out and ran into the street. It was early in the morning but it was already full of people... not that people stopped that psycho from kidnapping me last time. Everyone was dressed with ancient clothes, they were probably all extras for the movie. This was a rather huge set... I started wondering what kind of movie they were filming here. Some children even started following me around, probably asking themselves what I was doing there.
Step one Eun Soo: get out of here. Find a cab. Step two: manage to ask for directions without looking crazy. Crazy people always gets noticed. You don't want the psycho to find you!
So I quietly approached an old man. He looked like the kind type and I quickly tried to make up some excuse for my lack of knowledge about where I was.
"Excuse me. It seems I passed out on my way here so I can't remember... where can I catch a taxy?"
Good one Eun Soo. You got here in a taxy, but you fell asleep so you can't remember the way. Perfect excuse. Nobody should think too much about this.
I waited for some seconds but the man was just looking at me, rather confused. I started feeling definitely uneasy. Was he Korean? Maybe he was Chinese, maybe he couldn't understand what I was saying. Walking away, more and more people turned to look at me, making me speed up. That was bad, very bad. Everybody could tell that mad guy where I was!
"Can you speak English?" I tried with a woman on the street. Still, no reply. Chinese wasn't a better choice, I still got nothing.
Then, just as I was starting to lose hope, I heard a woman talking in Chinese and I immediately ran to her. Ok, Chinese never was my strong point, but I thought I could at least get some directions. Yet, my request for a public telephone was ignored. I took out my phone again, hoping there would be some kind of signal now that I was outside, but as soon as I raised it I saw the young boy, my "guard" in the reflection. Damn it, they already knew I was escaped! I had to hide, and quickly.
There was a shop nearby and I hid behind some clothes, begging without a word the owner not to betray me. The watchdog was on my trail! I saw him giving something to a man and then that man ran away, while the boy stayed right there. He saw me. I knew he did. He was keeping watch while his accomplish was going to tell the psycho where I was.
Well, they will have to sweat to catch me this time!
I slowly motioned the owner to come over and she approached me, probably curious. By now I knew it was useless to try and ask for directions, so I simply took off my jacket, making her touch it. The look in her eyes when she held the fabric was satisfactory: that was a very expensive jacket after all! My heart was bleeding at the thought of leaving it there, but I needed to escape and my white clothes were too recognizable. I needed to blend in the crowd. I pointed to a pink tunic hanging in the shop and the owner smiled with a glint in her eyes. Smart woman. The exchange was done in a few seconds: I helped her to wear the jacket and I sneaked away, hiding beneath the pink tunic.
Find me now, psycho!
Now, the third step. Since it was apparently impossible to find a cab here, the only thing left was try to remember my way and get to that vortex by myself. I closed my eyes and tried to make a mental map of my surroundings: we crossed a forest and then the village was down a hill... so I had to climb the hill first thing. I looked at my shoes with disappointment. Perfectly fine heels, but not really suited to climb hills and lanes.
Let's hope I won't ruin them too much, I thought starting walking. The sooner I got out of there, the harder it would have been for them to find me.
Climbing up took some time and once I got a bit higher I turned around, not believing my eyes. Was this really a set? This really looked like an ancient village! Maybe it was some sort of reconstruction, but building all the houses must have cost a fortune!
I followed the path but as soon as I got to another of those "villages" I knew it was the wrong way. I never crossed it last night. Oh, that was so frustrating! Why couldn't I ask for directions? Why couldn't anybody understand me?
I started crying out loud, calling for people, knocking on doors, but there was no reply. Then, I heard a sound. People! There was someone near! Yes! I quickly walked there, finding a man hitting on an iron piece, in a forge. Maybe he was rehearsing for his scene in the movie?
"I'm sorry to bother you..." I tried again, hoping this time I would be lucky. I wasn't. And the man looked kinda scary as well. I walked away just as another man was approaching. "Excuse me! How can I get to Gangnam?"
He didn't reply but stepped closer and when I tried to step back I tripped on the blacksmith. And on the right there was a third guy. I was surrounded. Their faces were blank, no expression. The one in front of me even had a very frightening scar on his cheek. I was in danger.
I didn't waste time and I bolted while yelling, managing to knee one of them. Then I took off my shoe, using the heel as a weapon but when I turned, the blacksmith grabbed me from behind. Then, pain as Scarface heavily punched me in the face.
Then darkness.
When I woke up again, my head was hurting. I could feel blood in my mouth and my lip was broken; it was throbbing and by the pain I was feeling, I could say it was swollen as well. I tried to get up but I still felt dizzy and as soon as I raised my head, I saw Scarface just in front of me smiling a very scaring smile. I yelled and then the second man grabbed me from behind, seizing my wrists while Scarface gagged me. My hands were tied behind my back and Scarface left, telling something to the second man. Was it Chinese? Some weird dialect? I couldn't understand a word.
Who were these men? Why were they doing this? In that moment I wished I never left the locked up room: I wasn't sure of what would have happened to me there, but at least the psycho never beat me up! They couldn't want money. My bag was right there and if that was all they wanted, they would have already left. So, what else could they want? Why me? Why binding me and keeping me there? Oh God, maybe they were planning to sell me somewhere? Slaves merchant? Or maybe, it was like in that movie, "Taken" ? They wanted to sell me to some prostitution racket?
I suddenly sensed the man tense up near me and before I could understand what was going on, he drew his dagger, pointing it to my throat. The next second, my guard boy appeared on the stairs. We were hidden behind some ropes and he couldn't see me, but I tried to call for him, immediately silenced by the cold blade of my captor. No, don't leave please! I'm here! Come back!
The boy left, without seeing me. I closed my eyes in despair, then I heard some fighting noise downstairs. It was over soon but the voice that talked next was the psycho's one! I couldn't move, I couldn't make a sound. The man behind me made it pretty clear that if I tried to be saved, he would kill me. When I heard the psycho leaving the forge, I dropped on the ground, suddenly without strength. He left. They didn't find me.
It was pretty ironic that I was hoping to be saved by the one who kidnapped me in the first place, but some part of my heart was clinging to his promise to send me back home. These men were scary and ready to beat me and even kill me if I dared to oppose them, and even though I witnessed with my own eyes him slashing a guard's neck, his behavior with me was different.
Alone again, I was even more scared than before. At least I knew the reason of my previous kidnapping: they wanted me to cure the girl. Now I was completely in the dark.
Scarface came back, that scary smile still on his lips. He talked with the other man in that language I couldn't understand and I could tell that he wasn't pleased. They kept looking downstairs, as if expecting someone else to come but when the man holding me tried to complain about something, Scarface shut him up with a short word. Then he looked down at me.
"Be quiet and you'll be safe." He told me in Korean. "We won't kill you. For now. Try to call for help or run away and your corpse is the only thing the Wudalchi will find."
Then he shoved me to the ground. "Don't move until tonight. Then you'll go on a trip." He ordered me with a grin on his face, but he was looking at the other man as well. By the look on his face, the one guarding me wasn't pleased with the order. He was clearly scared someone else would come and find me again and probably thought keeping me there was a bad idea. But maybe the psycho had some men around looking for me and they couldn't risk moving me somewhere else? That thought warmed me up for a minute, the thought of not being completely alone. I had to believe he hadn't given up.
My guard sat down leaning on the wooden wall while I tried to make myself more comfortable. Every move was met by a painful kick by the man, so at last I gave up, leaning my head on the floor and closing my eyes trying not to cry.
Yesterday I woke up and my biggest problem was finding an investor for my research and my hospital. Today I'm not even sure if I'm going to live or die. This has to be a nightmare. Someone please, wake me up now... end the dream. I want to wake up in my bed, cry a bit about this awful nightmare then walk to the window and see Seoul. Then I'll realize it really was just a dream and I'll forget it. Please, please... someone wake me up.
How much time passed? How many times did I try to get up just to be mercilessly kicked down? I never knew. But the moment I heard the wooden floor slightly crack downstairs, I knew he had come back. I recognized him before even hearing his voice and again I cried in my mind to come upstairs, to not give up, to find me.
"I'm going to take another look around." I heard him say after the boy who was always with him suggested to broaden the search. My eyes widened and if I wasn't already laying down, I would have fallen on the ground.
No, no, don't leave again! Look upstairs! I'm here! I'm here, don't leave me! You promised! I'm HERE!
And, as if answering my prayers, my phone started ringing, almost out of battery. My guard frantically looked in my bag, but as soon as he found the phone he threw it on the ground like it was a snake. It was as if he never saw a phone before. It was too late anyway. The psycho and the boy were climbing the stairs!
Roughly grabbing me, knowing we would be discovered, my captor pointed the knife at my throat and walked to them, threatening me. When I finally saw him, I couldn't stop my tears anymore. I felt them stinging my eyes as I kept looking at him, crying and silently begging him to save me, somehow. With the blade ready to kill me, the psycho really looked like the lesser evil. He looked furious as I saw his eyes linger on my features, noticing I was hurt and even more when he saw the small trail of blood, where the knife had cut my neck. When the boy translated the threat on my life, my legs started shacking so much I thought I would have fallen on the ground. Time stopped for a moment as my pleading eyes locked with his but then he looked at his young companion who just stepped over the wooden poles and moved away.
The man was scared by the sudden movement, turning just inches away from me. I didn't see him throwing the knife, but I heard its sound and I'll never forget the horrible noise when the knife thrust in my captor's chest, killing him. I felt his grip on my shoulder relax while he was falling to the ground, and I cried through the gag, throwing a glance at the corpse beside me. He was alive just a second ago, but now he was dead. The psycho killed that man because of me.
I slowly knelt on the ground, crying and crying out of shock then he walked to me, freeing my hands and kneeling down before me, to take off my gag.
"You really are troublesome." He sighed not glancing at the dead man a second time, like killing him didn't matter at all. "Didn't I tell you to wait? Where did you think this is, running away like that? Look at you now."
He was scolding me. He kidnapped me, scared me to death, forced me into surgery, locked me up and now he was saying my almost getting killed was my fault? My fault?! I looked at him barely holding my anger, knowing I was on the verge of tears. I didn't want to cry in front of him, not now, not ever! When his eyes softened, I could bear it even less. First you scold me and now you try to pity me? Go to hell, you bastard!
I slapped his hand away when he tried to check if I was hurt and I got on my feet, forcing my shacking legs to sustain me. I limped around, one feet still wearing the shoe, the other one bare, looking for a way out and when I saw the psycho approaching me I burst out, holding back the tears.
"Just try and come near me!" I shouted, throwing him my remaining shoe. "I'll show you what I'm made of!"
The boy was holding my bag, so I snatched it from him, walking away. You won't drag me back again! I want to leave and I want to leave now!
"Her Highness the Queen has awoken." The psycho announced behind me. I stopped, hope filling my heart once again, together with fear. The girl woke up? So now it was one of two options... either he was going to take me back to the vortex, or he was going to kill me where I was. But why kill me now, after saving me? So maybe, just maybe...
"So I'll be seeing you back." he said, walking to me, my heart skipping a beat at his words. "To the world you came from."
He bowed to me and then raised his hand but I backed off, still remembering his last act of courtesy to me, before carrying me off like a piece of luggage.
"Don't throw me over that filthy shoulder of yours!" I rebelled, turning around and starting to walk. I didn't care how far it was from there to the vortex, I was going there with my own legs no matter what! "Treating me like luggage... you're insufferable!"
Suddenly I wasn't on my feet anymore and I cried out loud when I felt his arms around me, lifting me up.
"Serial killer psychopath!" I yelled, violently tossing and turning, trying to get down but he ignored me and stepped down the stairs, almost tripping on them. When I felt his arms suddenly lose their grip on me, I grabbed him not to fall down just as he was steadying up and strengthening his hold on me. Our faces were suddenly too near for my comfort and that shut me up. He silently looked at me for a few moments, then turned his head calling his young friend.
"Dae Man," he ordered, "let them know that I'm escorting the Heavenly woman back."
Turning back to me he warned "If you fall, you will be injured" and adjusted me in his arms, causing me to seize him even more and stay still. As if he just proved a point, he smiled and sighed satisfied, carrying me away.
While he was walking, I wasn't able to say a single word. He was still smiling, but I couldn't tell if he was happy because I wasn't talking, because I wasn't trying to get down or because he found me so he could send me back. Or for all the three reasons together. There, in his arms, I started hoping that he would really keep his promise, that this nightmare would soon end. His hold on me was secure, strong and warm, telling me this man wouldn't let anything else happen to me. For the first time since waking up that morning, I relaxed. And when I did, I could swear I saw another small smile on those lips. Smiling suited him. It made him less scary and made it easier to trust him. But I don't think he smiles often. He looks way too serious. Eun Soo don't be fooled, he can have a nice smile but you just saw him killing a man in cold blood. And that wasn't a special effect.
This wasn't a drama or a movie, now I knew. This was either real or a dream, but it couldn't be fake. The girl's injury was real, the pool of blood underneath my captor was real as well... and so was my swollen lip and the taste of blood in my mouth. I could just pray that it was a dream, it was my only hope now. Or, if it was real, that crossing that vortex would have sent me back home, where I could forget this whole ordeal.
"I need shoes." I told him at some point. "I can't walk through the forest without them." He was carrying me through the village where I was kidnapped, and even though I felt rather safe in his arms, I wanted to get down. I wasn't entirely at ease with this close proximity, I needed to put some distance between him and me.
"I don't have any money on me." He replied without even looking at me. "I'll just carry you."
"I need them!" I insisted. "I can't go back home barefooted. I'll exchange them for something in my bag."
He stopped turning to look at me with very annoyed eyes but I just stared back, daring him to deny my request. The hell I was going back bloodstained, without my jacket and even without shoes!
"You really are troublesome," he mumbled before heading to a square with some people. There seemed to be some shops as well and he didn't even stopped to look around before heading to one of them. The owner was a middle aged woman who bowed respectfully when he lowered me on a chair, finally letting me down. Not being in his arms anymore both relieved me and saddened me. That was the only place in this weird world where I had some relaxed moments. Eun Soo, you're crazy. Get those shoes and go back home before having some crazier thoughts! Peaceful moments... who are you kidding? Never forget you're here because of this guy. He's not your saviour, he's your kidnapper!
While he was talking to the shop owner, I leaned against the chair, really looking at him for the first time. He was a good looking guy: he was tall, athletic, and had a strong aura around him I never felt on anybody. This was a man in control of his world and his actions, a confident man. I wondered how he would look in ordinary clothes, without his black armor and his sword, but I couldn't really picture him in a suit and tie. Maybe it was the way his hair was. Or maybe it was the way he was standing. Looking at him, the armor was all I could see, like it was a part of his body. This man is a warrior, I thought. I can't see him as anything else.
I lowered my eyes just in time before he caught me staring at him and I tried on the shoes he was handing me. He had a good eye because they were perfect. He nodded satisfied and then waited for me to pay the woman. It was time to part with another of my possessions. The first one to go was my jacket. The second was a butterfly shaped hairpin: the wings were a bright green and red while the body was golden. I sighed, thinking I just bought it the week before, wearing it just twice since then. The shop owner looked delighted as I helped her to put it on. I smiled, thanking her for the shoes and walked out the shop with him close by.
"Follow me." Was all he said, leading the way. This time I had no reason to run the other way and he knew it, so he didn't bother to seize my wrist or check on me. He was looking back sometimes but mostly walked in front, not caring if I was left behind, or so I thought until he suddenly turned around and caught me before I could even realize I was slipping on the damp ground. I cried and grabbed his shoulders to stay on my feet and suddenly we were too close again, his hand on my waist, keeping me up and mine around his neck, while I was trying not to fall down.
I immediately let go, taking a couple of steps away from him and walked on, leaving him behind. Just a moment later, he was in front again, in complete silence.
"So..." I tried after ten minutes of awkwardness, "I recognize this place. Isn't this the place from before?"
There was no reply, so I tried again, hoping to get some directions. "I know where this is. From here to Gangnam..." My mental map wasn't helping me at all. "No. I don't know how to get to Gangnam from here."
He wasn't saying a single word, just going on and ignoring my calls. But it wasn't long before I recognized the place. We were almost there! This was the clearing where the troops were waiting for him the night before. And there was the vortex!
I stopped walking, looking at it, as frightened as the first time. No matter what, that gap was scaring. And I had to go through there if I wanted to go home. But at least it was in front of me now. The psycho really kept his promise.
"Can you see it?" He asked me, the first words since we stopped to buy the shoes. "The portal is diminishing in size. It if closes, you will have no way to return. So please go."
I stepped closer, looking at it. It was true, it was bigger the previous night. Was it really closing down?
"I just walk right through it? Then some sort of door will open?" I asked a bit doubtful. The first time he was the one dragging me and truth to be told as soon as I had approached that mystic energy, I had closed my eyes. I had no idea what to expect now. "What will happen next?"
"Just enter it." he answered. He looked quiet now. At peace. He probably was more than happy at the idea of getting rid of me.
Yes, well, I didn't enjoy it either, psycho.
And yet, the thought of crossing that gate was making me very nervous. I never was one to believe in anything mystical and I wasn't that convinced.
"What do you mean I just have to enter it? Shouldn't you do some sort of test first?" Well, truth to be told, he already did: he went through there and came back, even bringing me with him. But what if it wasn't that easy? This time I would be alone. "What if there are any side effects?" Like maybe the gate closing while I was passing through, or me ending up trapped inside forever...
He didn't answer, maybe understanding why I was so scared, but he walked some steps until he was in front of me.
"Thank you for your hard work." He quietly told me, before bowing his head. There was an unmistakable tone in his voice. This was a goodbye. He was telling me not to worry, that I would be able to go back home. And I would never see him or anybody like him, ever again. I could go on with my life like nothing ever happened.
Alright Eun Soo. You can do it. Let's go.
I bowed back, and started walking. I was nervous. Millions of questions were running around in my head, and I knew I would never have an answer for any of them. One step after the other, I got closer to the vortex, between the bowed men, silently bidding goodbye to that weird world and preparing to step through the energy.
"Stop right there!" I heard shouting behind me. I turned around, already feeling the wind from the vortex calling me and I recognized the man: it was the same one who urged the young leader to bring me back to the injured girl at once. A dozen or so of the troops were with him and he was looking straight at me.
"Heaven's Healer, you can't return." He told me. He never stopped smiling, like he was deeply satisfied and I wondered what was wrong. Had the girl got worse? Did she need me? Was someone else hurt? Or maybe it was because of that dead man? Somehow they needed me to understand what happened?
He didn't reply but he looked as surprised as I was. He stepped up, coming in between that man and me. His face wasn't promising anything good.
"I, as Goryeo Warrior Choi Young, am sending her back in my name." He looked at him for a long moment before shouting "The man who is disregarding my name! Who is it?"
He suddenly drew his sword and the man stepped back, as startled as I was.
"Just try and stop me." He declared, ready to fight.
I didn't know what to think. What was happening? Why were they trying to stop me? By now I knew enough to understand trying to bolt to the door would have been useless: there were two men near the Gate and if I tried to get away now, they would have stopped me. I just had to hope he would have been able to defend me.
"These are His Majesty's orders, Wudalchi." The man replied. And I could swear there was a smug smile on his face, like he was happy to throw those orders in the psycho's face. "To stop the Healer of the Heavens."
He pointed the sword at him and the man jumped back, definitely scared. "Utter nonsense. I don't believe you." He declared.
Utter nonsense! I echoed him in my mind. I have to go back! I can't do anything else here! Let me go!
"What... what are you waiting for?" The man yelled at the troops. "Seize that woman! This is a Royal Command!"
I stepped back, looking at those men. They weren't happy of receiving this order. Their faces were clearly full of sorrow and disdain. And yet they drew their swords, ready to fight their leader to come and get me. If I moved a single step I'm positive all hell would have broken loose but I couldn't. I was too scared, already seeing the fight scene before my eyes: men shouting at each other, sword against sword, injuries, blood. If I had tried to run, they would have attacked.
"Wudalchi Choi Young, I said this is a Royal Command." Again that smug smile. "Do you intend to defy your orders?"
It was the longest pause ever. The two men confronted each other, neither of them willing to back off.
And then he turned to me.
I could see it in his eyes, even before he moved the first step. I could see the regret, the anguish. But he would have done it anyway. He moved, and I moved as well. This time, if he caught me, he wouldn't have let me go. I would have been forced to stay there forever. I couldn't let him do this to me.
I ran to the vortex, hearing his footsteps approaching. They were light and fast like he wasn't running, but flying. And when I felt his hand closing around my wrist, I knew it was over. He sharply pulled me back, just as I was about to cross the vortex and walked some steps back, to move away from it. I knew the strength of that hand and yet I pulled and pulled, trying to break free, crying and yelling. Maybe I was too close because he thrust his sword on the ground and grabbed my other wrist, pulling me on his chest. I was there, just a few steps from safety and he was holding me back, trapping me against his body, closing me in those arms I found so secure and warm just some time before. I cried and begged, I tossed and turned but he never let me go. He was holding me tight, his grip on my wrists an unbreakable one, his body nullifying any attempt to break free.
Then suddenly, the wind was no more. There, trapped in his arms, I saw the gate closing inch by inch, my heart breaking down to pieces while I was forced to stay there and watch my way back home disappear before my eyes. And when he let me go, when I was finally free to move again, it was too late. There was nothing left there, nothing but a door made of rocks. I couldn't go home anymore.
Rocks. Just rocks. I touched them everywhere, trying to see if I could open that Gate again. Up and down, left and right... but there was nothing anymore there, just plain, cold rock. I fought back my tears, leaning my forehead on the rock, trying to breathe. It was gone, the Gate was gone. There was no way I could go back home now. And it was all his fault. He got an order and he followed it. So what? Did he have to? His promise to me should have come first. Hadn't I done everything they asked of me? I operated on that girl, ensuring she would live. And yet, her guardian had ordered that I was trapped there. And his lackey had carried out the order. The bastard.
I turned around, but he was gone. Oh, right. Now that he didn't need to keep me from leaving anymore, now that he didn't have to torture me by keeping me still right in front of the closing Gate, then he could leave me alone. After all, where could I go now? Anger filled me, giving me the strength to walk back and face the bastards. Everyone of them. But especially one.
"You jerk!" I cried out, walking to him. "Didn't you promise me?"
I took the sword from the ground, holding it in front of me. Whatever it was that they wanted from me, I wouldn't have let them have it so easily! But first, I had something else to do.
"Didn't you promise to send me back?" I cried again. I felt tears fill my eyes, thinking back of how stupid I had been. I trusted him, I realized. I really trusted that he would have kept his promise to me. I believed that if I did my best with the girl, then I would go back home. But he betrayed me. He was nothing but a liar...
"Psycho..." I told him, giving voice to my thought. "Murderer..."
I was stupid enough to forget about the slashed guard, his coldness when he hurt him. His cruelty in threatening another innocent man if I didn't do what he wanted. I even forgot how he killed a man in cold blood, right in front of my eyes. I was so shocked at the time and so grateful that I chose to ignore the fact that he was a murderer, that it probably wasn't the first time he killed. And now I was paying for it. I choked down a sob, the sword shacking in my hands. I was so furious and hurt, and it was all his fault.
"I'm going to kill you!" I shouted, half crying and half sobbing, running to him. It was useless and I knew it. I wasn't even able to hold that sword properly. And yet staying there and not do anything about his betrayal would have meant I had surrendered. I ran, just a few steps, the sword right in front of me, my head down, expecting to be stopped at any moment. And then I felt the sword piercing something, meeting resistance and ignoring it, going through. I raised my head and he was in front of me, the sword cutting his stomach. I froze on the spot, horrified. He put both hands on mine and... pulled me closer, making the sword stab him, getting out from his back.
He didn't cry, didn't shout. Just his face was showing his pain. Oh my God, I stabbed him!
"Why?" I asked, eyes wide, my throat closed. "Why?! You could have avoided it easily... why?"
He made an effort to speak, his eyes clouded by pain, barely standing on his feet. "Will this... suffice?" He whispered before collapsing on his knees.
And then I got it: he was trying to pay his debt to me. He promised me, on his life and his honor that he would send me back. Then he was forced to break his promise. And now he was giving me what he thought he owed me... his life. But what good could it do to me? How could it satisfy me? I didn't want his life, I wanted him to keep his promise! I wanted to go home!
I was suddenly shoved on the ground by his young friend, the one called Dae Man. His action unblocked the frozen troops and suddenly everyone was moving. Two of the men were sustaining the psycho, while the one who had given the order to seize me was coming closer.
"How dare you raise your hand to the Divine Healer?" He shouted, outraged, slapping the young boy. Then he knelt down before me. "His Majesty is awaiting you. I will escort you."
He offered me his hand, but I refused it. I wasn't even looking at him. My eyes couldn't leave the injured man on the ground while the slow realization that I had really stabbed him was sinking in my mind. I hurt someone. I hurt someone because I was angry and I wanted to make him pay for what he had done. But I never really intended to kill him. I was just trying to vent my anger. No, I didn't want to kill him!
I shoved the man aside, running to the psycho, examining the wound. I needed to operate him as soon as possible but in the meantime that sword should not be moved from where it was. The man behind my back was still talking, but I could barely hear him. I was thinking about the surgery, what I needed, what I didn't have there with me. He needed blood, but I didn't have any to give him!
"Our only option is surgery." I told the man holding him. "Do you have anything like tape?"
"Tape?" He clearly had no idea of what I was talking about. I had to start thinking this was no dream. I had to start thinking this was really happening and that somehow I travelled back in time, to a century where they didn't have any idea of what tapes, or transfusions, or modern medicine meant.
"We cannot move him until the sword is secured in place." I explained, trying to hold my impatience and thinking about the closest thing to a tape. "Something like a strong cloth!"
The man started undoing his scarf while the one behind me was losing his patience. "I said there is no time for this! Please, we must leave now."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. He was the one who ordered the psycho to stop me and now he wanted me to leave him there?
"Leave? What do you mean leave? What will happen to him if we leave?"
"Leave him behind." The man answered, as cold as a stone. The troops were barely keeping their hands off him, they clearly cared for the psycho so the man lowered on the ground and directly addressed the injured man.
"Wudalchi." He asked, again with that cold voice. "If we are delayed here for your sake, His Majesty will be endangered, so we must leave you behind. Don't you agree?"
I immediately decided that man was a snake. How could he ask something like that to someone who just put his life in danger to repay a debt? He was obviously someone with a strong sense of duty. I realized the man perfectly knew the answer. He knew he would have told us to go. He wanted him to die here.
So, when he told his men to leave him and go, I wasn't really surprised. He was clearly in pain and clearly needing help but he was still deciding to stay there, knowing he would have died. No!
"I won't leave!" I shouted, ready to fight to stay there. I was a doctor, I couldn't let anybody die like that!
"I know you don't understand the situation but..." the snake tried again, but I shrugged him off me with disdain.
"I understand the situation." I replied, as cold as he was. Oh, yes I got it, I got what he wanted. But there was only a slight complication. "I stabbed him. If he dies, I'll become a murderer. I won't leave."
"Very well." He answered, as if expecting my answer. "We shall do this instead."
He walked beside me and grabbed the sword who was impaling the psycho. And he pulled it out.
The blood came out rushing now that the sword wasn't avoiding it anymore and I cried out, immediately going to press on the wound, trying to stop the blood, while the psycho doubled in pain and the men could just stay there and watch, horrified.
"I am now the one who killed the Wudalchi Daejang. You don't need to worry anymore." He sounded awfully satisfied and I wished I could leave the injured man even for just a moment and delete that smug smile from his face one slap after the other. But I couldn't.
"My tools! Prepare for surgery!" I shouted and a quick order made the young boy called Dae Man run away like the wind, to get my tools and prepare everything I needed to save his leader.
We needed to get the man to the house as fast as possible. We needed to stop the blood, to keep him conscious.
"Here, press here!" I ordered the man beside me, while the snake was still trying to make us leave him behind. It was useless though. Even me, who could barely look at them now, knew those men would have never left him. So when I heard the man holding the Daejang, as they called him, shouting that he wouldn't escort me back because he needed to press on the wound like I ordered, I raised my head and quickly asked for something to carry him.
"A stretcher..." I asked, trying to find a word they could understand. "A litter!"
Again, the man holding the psycho nodded so several others ran away to build what we needed to carry their Daejang back to the house.
"Now listen to me." I asked him, trying to calm down. Panic would do us no good. "You're the one who gives the orders, right?"
"I'm the Commander, the second in command." He answered, looking at me in utterly confusion.
"Ok Commander." I nodded in my most professional voice. "You're stronger than I am. Never stop, not even for a moment, to press on the wound. We must block the blood as much as we can. Got it? Press down."
He frantically nodded and I turned my attention on examining the injured man as better as I could without instruments, trying my best to ease the pain and making mental preparation on the surgery.
When the litter was ready I instructed the men to carefully place him there and then we moved back to the village as fast as we could. While we were walking I never stopped examining him. His heartbeat was increasing and the blood loss was becoming dangerous.
"You can't lose consciousness." I ordered him. "Can you hear me?"
"With you touching my body all over," he answered in a whisper, "how can I lose consciousness?"
"If your heart rate increases any faster, you could go into hypovolemic shock." I explained him. "I can't do a blood transfusion here, so no matter what..."
He interrupted me, suddenly grabbing my collar and slightly pushing himself up.
"Imja, you didn't do this." He said, his voice stronger now.
"What?" I asked, surprised. Even wounded he was still strong enough to move and even grab me so strongly.
"Never in a million years could you stab me, Imja." He told me again, like it was an obvious thing.
Well, the you could have avoided the sword, and we wouldn't be in this situation!
I tried to break free but he just pulled me down to him, now whispering.
"Listen to me carefully." He was looking at me with tired eyes and there was blood on his mouth but he still had the nerves of trying and ordering me around. "If you truly wish to save me, then leave me and go. I will find a way to survive on my own. Please leave me."
Oh, so he was this type of patient: the noble one. Of course he wanted me to leave him there, so he would hit two pigeons with one stone: he would protect his King as we wouldn't be delayed because of him, and at the same time he would die, repaying his debt. I guess that surviving so he could keep his promise didn't even cross his mind. But, everything aside, I was a doctor and the person who stabbed him on top of that. I had no desire of becoming a murderer.
I broke free from his grip with impatience. "Shut up!" I shouted in English. Of course he couldn't understand it, but it made me feel better. "Shut up" has a better sound than "Be quiet."
"Shut your mouth." I told him again and he closed his eyes in defeat, already knowing what I would say next. Well, that was something else to be satisfied for: for once, I was the one talking and he was the one obeying.
"Listen to me. The order goes like this: first, I save you. After that, if you want to live or die somewhere else, it's up to you. Just try and die without my permission..."
And I'll kill you myself. Again.
I didn't say the last part of course, but I hoped he got the meaning. I was the one who stabbed him, so I would be the one who saved him. After that, we could talk and figure out how he could send me home. And then he could go and hang himself somewhere. But first I needed to go back to square one, where I still didn't stab him. I needed him to be alive and well.
He leaned back on my bag, closing his eyes and didn't speak again.
We were almost at the village when he passed out due to the blood loss. The troops made sure our path to the house was as fast as possible and when we got there we found Dae Man nervously waiting outside.
"Upstairs!" He stuttered, leading us. "Royal Physician Jang already prepared everything."
I nodded and choked back an apology to the boy when I saw his anguished face. It was my fault that his friend was in this state, but this wasn't the time to talk. I needed to save him.
I charged in the room, leaving it up to the men to settle the psycho on the table and quickly inspected my tools. I needed to cut his abdomen open, but I needed light. I looked around but of course there was no electricity there. I almost wailed in frustration, how was I supposed to operate like this?
Calm down Eun Soo. You can do it. You just need to find alternatives to everything you don't have here.
"Light anything that can be lit," I quickly ordered. "It must be brighter than daytime here. Also, send someone to boil water. I also need clean cloths, as many as possible!"
I stopped, noticing the lack of a small bottle. "Where is the antibiotic?" I asked, before remembering they maybe didn't know the word. "A bottle like this!" I showed them the small size, now worried. "Without it, doing a laparotomy in this filth will have him dead from blood poisoning!
The young boy's expression and despair cry told me everything I needed to know: the antibiotic was gone. I hesitated just a moment, weighing my options: there was nothing I could do but a surgery. I had to take that risk, the psycho already lost too much blood.
"You all, stay away!" I ordered then. "Don't come near! You're all covered in bacteria." So was I and so was the man called Royal Physician Jang, but there was nothing I could do about it.
Asking him about antibiotics just made him arch his eyebrow in confusion but when I explained I also needed an anaesthetic, something to force the psycho to sleep, he nodded and sent someone to get his medicine bag.
I helped lighting up any candle I could find then I put on my special glasses and my gloves when the assistant came back with the medicine bag. I couldn't know what kind of anaesthetic they were using, but it was taking too long to work. I knew the psycho was unconscious, but that wasn't enough. He would have woken up as soon as I cut him.
I could tell Dr. Jang didn't like me. We started wrong since the beginning of this weird story, when I refused to operate on the girl until the last moment: he was of course the very righteous type of doctor, not to mention he probably never saw all the stuff I was using. So when I asked why the anaesthetic was taking that long to work, his reply was definitely defensive. Well, I didn't care what he thought about me, as long as I could do my job.
"The surgery must be done now!" I argued, wishing that stupid stuff worked faster.
"I believe the Daejang can withstand the pain." Was the answer. Oh, right, just what I needed! The macho answer: You can do anything to me, but I'm strong and I'll bear it!
"This is not a matter of withstanding the pain." I tried to explain. "I must first cut open his abdomen to examine the extent of the damage to his organs. Only then I can proceed accordingly. If the patient is straining to withstand the pain, his organs will stiffen. Then I won't have a clear view and I won't be able to suture properly!"
I was almost out of breath after my tirade when finally the anaesthetic worked. The psycho was asleep. I quickly put on my mask, giving orders for the clean cloths and the boiling water and prepared to cut the abdomen open.
A hand on my wrist blocked me. Dr. Jang was stopping me.
"What are you doing?" He asked me suspiciously.
"I said I need to open his abdomen!" I replied, starting to be pissed off. Was he deaf or what? I already told him!
"Aren't you treating a sword injury to the stomach?" He asked me again. "Why are you cutting it?"
I tried to explain what I needed to do, even telling him we really needed to hurry or he would have died from blood loss, but then the Doctor went straight to the heart of the problem.
"He is the man you wanted to kill, yet you're saying you'll save him now. Can I trust you?"
My answer was immediate, without even thinking. "You can."
"Why?" This was a better question, and he was right. Why would he trust me? He knew I was a captive there. He knew the psycho stopped me from going back home and he knew I stabbed him in anger. Of course he couldn't trust me. But how could I explain him that I never really intended to kill him? How could I explain I was sorry for what happened and I was just trying to fix what I did? He would have probably never believed me. So I used their own words against them. They believed I was from Heavens, right? That I was a Divine Healer? I could use his own superstition then.
"Don't you all say that I'm a Healer from the Heaven?" I told him, trying to look as stern as I could. "So please believe me."
I looked at him, trying to convey trust with my eyes. I needed his help. I needed him to trust me if we wanted to save the psycho. He looked back trying to understand if I was telling the truth or if I was just waiting for the perfect moment to finish my job.
Please trust me, I prayed. Please allow me to save him. Please don't let him die because of me.